Size 30 Bride Demands To Try On A Size 14 Wedding Dress Saleswoman Asks If She Was A Jerk To Give Her A Reality Check

Size 30 Bride Demands To Try On A Size 14 Wedding Dress Saleswoman Asks If She Was A Jerk To Give Her A Reality Check

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Size 30 Bride Demands To Try On A Size 14 Wedding Dress Saleswoman Asks If She Was A Jerk To Give Her A Reality Check

Jonas Grinevičius and
Kotryna Brašiškytė
Talking about people's weight is an incredibly sensitive subject. One wrong word-even if you didn't mean anything ill by it-and you could accidentally insult someone. This is an issue that becomes incredibly delicate for salespeople. Especially those selling wedding dresses to brides. Sometimes, diplomacy simply isn't enough, no matter how hard you try. One redditor, who works as a bridal sales associate, turned to the AITA subreddit for advice on whether or not she messed up when dealing with a rude client who wanted to try on a dress that was clearly far too small for her. The client wears size 30 dresses and wanted to put on a size 14 one. The saleswoman tried to be polite in how she handled things, but everything backfired. Scroll down for the full story, dear Pandas. Once you've finished reading everything, drop on by the comment section and tell us who you think was at fault in this particular case. How would you have handled the situation? Let us know! Bored Panda reached out to Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at The Wedding Society, for their thoughts about picking out wedding dresses. Read on for their advice.

A wedding dress saleswoman landed herself in hot water after accidentally body-shaming her client

Image credits: Jill Wellington (not the actual photo)

Here s the full story about how a size 30 bride wanted to try on a size 14 dress




Image credits: Hussein Altameemi (not the actual photo)


Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual photo)

The author of the story clarified a couple of things for the AITA community later on br

The fallout from the sales associate's comment was almost immediate. The client tried to get her in trouble with her manager. Most AITA community members thought that it was the client who was being a jerk, not the saleswoman. "We hear so often that brides will go into their dress shopping experience thinking that a certain style will be perfect for them and often finding themselves totally surprised that a totally different style is often what actually looks best on them. So our advice is to keep an open mind and trust that the sales associates often have a lot more experience in this field and are trying to guide you towards what they know will look best," Anna and Sarah, from The Wedding Society, shared with Bored Panda. "If you are losing hope then take a step back, a deep breath, and a reset. There are literally millions of dresses out there. Decision paralysis is real so let yourself be guided and keep an open mind," they noted that having some flexibility and trust in professionals can be very helpful. "The importance of the dress really depends on the person wearing it. It certainly is something you need to be fully aligned with or you're always going to look at your pictures with a little bit of regret or disappointment," they shared. "That said, your own expectations of how you look will always feel more impactful than how you will actually look to your spouse and guests-we promise, they're looking at you and your beaming smile-not what's on your body." How you phrase things, what tone of voice you use, what your body language is like-these are all incredibly important things for someone working in sales. Whether you're in retail or a barista or in a high-end boutique, small details can make or break the sale. At the same time, you can only be held responsible for your own intentions and efforts, not for how someone chooses to react. Specific wording that's super smooth might work 99 out of 100 times, but there might always be a customer who chooses to get offended by how you phrased your comment. At the end of the day, you can't control how someone will react; you can only do your best to stay professional and defuse tense situations as best you know. Alexander Kjerulf, from the Positive Sharing project, previously explained to Bored Panda what employees should do if they encounter a rude customer. Though, really, it's not a question of 'if,' it's a matter of 'when' that will happen. Most people are completely fine, but a tiny minority can ruin your day with how they treat you. "Keep your cool and remember that whatever abuse they're giving you is no reflection on you as a person. That customer doesn't even know you, so there's no way it could be. But on the other hand, don't be subservient. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell customers that abuse is not tolerated. And if it persists, hand them over to a manager as soon as you can and let them deal with it," Alexander explained how employees ought to react when under fire from a rude customer who seems to have it out for them. "You have to remember that in many cases a customer who behaves badly is not necessarily a bad person-it can be a good person having a bad day and that's why they're acting out. But the sad truth is that some customers act this way because they've learned that it works and will get them discounts or preferential treatment," he noted that, broadly speaking, there are two categories of rude customers: those who are having an awful day and those who see rudeness as a tool to get what they want. In his opinion, a better motto than 'the customer is always right' would be: 'Be nice, or at least don't be a jerk.' "And this goes for both customers and employees. Whenever I'm a customer anywhere, I always try to be kind and positive to the staff-even when occasionally I have to complain about something. It's literally the least I can do."

The vast majority of redditors were sympathetic towards the saleswoman Here s how they reacted and the advice they gave br br br br br br br br br br br br

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Kotryna Brašiškytė Kotryna Brašiškytė Author, BoredPanda staff Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her Austėja Akavickaitė MIL Is Left Sobbing On The Floor After She Showed Up To Wedding Wearing A White Dress And One Bridesmaid "Fixed" It With Some Red Wine Mantas Kačerauskas "AITA For Kicking A Server Out Of My Wedding?" Monika Pašukonytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Leave a comment POST BigOrangeTractor BigOrangeTractor Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 4 months ago (edited) I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either. 83 83points reply Evelyn Ann Evelyn Ann Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD 29 29points reply Load More Replies... Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago (edited) And, sometimes I do carry a Small shirt around the store in denial, unable to let go of it because I like it SO MUCH, having to try it on to know for sure, because it REALLY looks like it MIGHT fit me, maybe it's a generously cut Small. When I get to the dressing room, I am very ginger in trying on things I know are a smaller size, and if I have trouble fitting into it, I stop before doing any damage. That's when, with a pained heart, I put it back on the hanger. So yes, it's definitely a special level of stupidity some people hit. But I think that the difference between quietly putting it back on the rack and throwing a tantrum is a matter of emotional control more than intelligence. 5 5points reply Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I've actually found that as I've gained weight (from a 14 to a 22 in a rather short time), I have lost my ability to guess what size something is and whether it will fit me. I'll see a pair of pants at a thrift store and think, "that looks like it might be my size, a 20 at least, maybe even 26," but then I look at the tag and it's like a 10. I look at my size 22 clothes, and they look far too large to possibly fit me. I'm surprised by my appearance whenever I look in a mirror; I forget I'm fat. I was okay at judging what can fit me when I was thinner. But now it's like I'm delusional. I'm an intelligent person and give an intelligent response when I dis things are too small ("Oh! That's too small. Dang, I really liked it. Does it come in Plus sizes?") I think the big difference in today's bridezilla is that she let her disappointment out childishly. But yeah, it's like there's a certain stupidity, blindness, or dysmorphia for me (and likely others) when judging what can fit. 2 2points reply Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago BWAHAHAHAHA!! That's what I was expecting, too! 2 2points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Stop typing and start walking...you are a f*****g cow with way too much time.... thank the fat gods there are kids in China that get a months worth of wage to make you a shirt....you are a f*****g embarrassment to humanity...there are people eating out of dumpsters right outside your door....if you ever make enough money to buy two seats on a plane ...go south...or anywhere....you should be eaten ...you are a waste of time money and air.... I will personally buy you a stapler to shut your f*****g mouth..or hoof you into a dumpster to feed the village...stupid fat gross degenerate undeserving ungrateful sloth. -3 -3points reply Kori Chamberlain Kori Chamberlain Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago What if this shop claimed to be size inclusive? 2 2points reply Sadie Lynn Sadie Lynn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago If they only had 3 size 30 dresses... That's highly illogical. 3 3points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago You must be single... -2 -2points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Wtf is size inclusive...???? Even if you don't exercise...cut 2 burgers off breakfast...you will see a difference!! -3 -3points reply Tracy Tracy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently. 60 60points reply Linda Powder Linda Powder Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check. 19 19points reply Load More Replies... Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago She sounds like she's a bridezilla. They've probably all had to deal with her rage already. 2 2points reply LuckyL LuckyL Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I don't think that "squeezing" is wording it gently. 0 0points reply Tracy Tracy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago You're right, that wasn't a great word choice. But I still think the OP was generally trying not to body shame. 9 9points reply Brina Brina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why though? It's true. It doesn't matter how OP worded it, that female would have still been offended. Size 30 is a huuuge difference from a 14. It's not like they were at wal-mart and she's just "trying" on clothes. Those dresses are super expensive, and some extremely delicate. It would have ripped or had damage caused just from pulling it on her. That's more embarrassing, getting stuck in something just cus she's in denial. 3 3points reply iseefractals iseefractals Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 4 months ago There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today. 52 52points reply Linda Powder Linda Powder Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints 23 23points reply Load More Replies... Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Exactly. I wouldn't go into a store and expect to squeeze my fat a*s into the size 4 I wore 18 years ago. Give it up! Own your body or do something to change it. Don't shame others because you feel bad about something only you can change. I will step down off my soapbox now. 3 3points reply Agent Tuna Ghost Agent Tuna Ghost Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago "... Conjured in the mind of someone looking to be a victim." I don't necessarily think people like this are *looking* to be victims, though. It sounds to me like this woman was just incredibly insecure about her size, and when faced with the reality that most of the dresses they had wouldn't fit someone as large her and probably feeling humiliated because of it, she lashed out. I'm not excusing her behavior at all, and I believe the sales rep handled the situation with as much sensitivity as she could, but I'd chalk what happened up to the woman's insecurity before I'd accuse her of actively looking to play the victim here. For all the anger and hostility she showed the sales rep, I can guarantee you she was feeling ten times as much anger and hate towards herself in that moment. I think most people who have found themselves in embarrassing situations before and acted like a jerk to mask their feelings can easily relate. 1 1point reply Brina Brina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago The fact she went to the manager, IS playing the "victim". She wanted to tell someone, and possibly get her into trouble. If it was just some normal "insecurity", chick woulda taken it with a grain of salt, and let it be. Nah, if I embarrass myself, I laugh it off and move on. Only an ignorant child would act like a jerk when they fucced up. 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST BigOrangeTractor BigOrangeTractor Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 4 months ago (edited) I needed my wedding dress in a plus size so guess what? I went to a plus size wedding specialist. Don't be that idiot who has an out-of-average requirement but expects average stores to cater to you then gets pissy when all they do is their best. It's not always your fault that you're different to average but it certainly isn't theirs either. 83 83points reply Evelyn Ann Evelyn Ann Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I'm right on the verge of plus, size 16-18 depending on store and i definitely check to see whether places carry my size! Is there a special level of stupidity some people hit that gives them an inability to know what will fit them?! A clothing size isn't a judgement, it's a fact. The way the story is told i expected the bride to pull a Chris Farley in a small dress xD 29 29points reply Load More Replies... Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago (edited) And, sometimes I do carry a Small shirt around the store in denial, unable to let go of it because I like it SO MUCH, having to try it on to know for sure, because it REALLY looks like it MIGHT fit me, maybe it's a generously cut Small. When I get to the dressing room, I am very ginger in trying on things I know are a smaller size, and if I have trouble fitting into it, I stop before doing any damage. That's when, with a pained heart, I put it back on the hanger. So yes, it's definitely a special level of stupidity some people hit. But I think that the difference between quietly putting it back on the rack and throwing a tantrum is a matter of emotional control more than intelligence. 5 5points reply Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I've actually found that as I've gained weight (from a 14 to a 22 in a rather short time), I have lost my ability to guess what size something is and whether it will fit me. I'll see a pair of pants at a thrift store and think, "that looks like it might be my size, a 20 at least, maybe even 26," but then I look at the tag and it's like a 10. I look at my size 22 clothes, and they look far too large to possibly fit me. I'm surprised by my appearance whenever I look in a mirror; I forget I'm fat. I was okay at judging what can fit me when I was thinner. But now it's like I'm delusional. I'm an intelligent person and give an intelligent response when I dis things are too small ("Oh! That's too small. Dang, I really liked it. Does it come in Plus sizes?") I think the big difference in today's bridezilla is that she let her disappointment out childishly. But yeah, it's like there's a certain stupidity, blindness, or dysmorphia for me (and likely others) when judging what can fit. 2 2points reply Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago BWAHAHAHAHA!! That's what I was expecting, too! 2 2points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Stop typing and start walking...you are a f*****g cow with way too much time.... thank the fat gods there are kids in China that get a months worth of wage to make you a shirt....you are a f*****g embarrassment to humanity...there are people eating out of dumpsters right outside your door....if you ever make enough money to buy two seats on a plane ...go south...or anywhere....you should be eaten ...you are a waste of time money and air.... I will personally buy you a stapler to shut your f*****g mouth..or hoof you into a dumpster to feed the village...stupid fat gross degenerate undeserving ungrateful sloth. -3 -3points reply Kori Chamberlain Kori Chamberlain Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago What if this shop claimed to be size inclusive? 2 2points reply Sadie Lynn Sadie Lynn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago If they only had 3 size 30 dresses... That's highly illogical. 3 3points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago You must be single... -2 -2points reply Gaby Pintos Gaby Pintos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Wtf is size inclusive...???? Even if you don't exercise...cut 2 burgers off breakfast...you will see a difference!! -3 -3points reply Tracy Tracy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently. 60 60points reply Linda Powder Linda Powder Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago At least she has patience with rude idiots, I don't. You'd think one of the peeps that were with her would speak up and give her a reality check. 19 19points reply Load More Replies... Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago She sounds like she's a bridezilla. They've probably all had to deal with her rage already. 2 2points reply LuckyL LuckyL Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I don't think that "squeezing" is wording it gently. 0 0points reply Tracy Tracy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago You're right, that wasn't a great word choice. But I still think the OP was generally trying not to body shame. 9 9points reply Brina Brina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why though? It's true. It doesn't matter how OP worded it, that female would have still been offended. Size 30 is a huuuge difference from a 14. It's not like they were at wal-mart and she's just "trying" on clothes. Those dresses are super expensive, and some extremely delicate. It would have ripped or had damage caused just from pulling it on her. That's more embarrassing, getting stuck in something just cus she's in denial. 3 3points reply iseefractals iseefractals Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 4 months ago There was no "poor wording" here and any offense was, yet again, conjured within the mind of someone looking to be a victim. You're going to get asked your size when you go into a bridal shop. Period. That you're going into one that doesn't specifically cater to your body type should make it even more obvious this is going to happen. Wedding dresses are stupidly over priced, why would anyone think they're going to be allowed to try on something meant for someone half their size. Well, they probably didn't. What they did want was to create a situation in which they either get to ruin an expensive dress, or they get to be offended by someone pointing out reality because there is nothing the clerk could have said that couldn't be argued as offensive by the standards of today. 52 52points reply Linda Powder Linda Powder Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago She likely wouldn't have gotten it over her thighs, never mind her butt. What a clown! If yer fat, own up to it. And her "micromanager" was a jerk for sticking up for the delusional customer and not her employee! I'd walk out of that joints 23 23points reply Load More Replies... Shea Keenan Shea Keenan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Exactly. I wouldn't go into a store and expect to squeeze my fat a*s into the size 4 I wore 18 years ago. Give it up! Own your body or do something to change it. Don't shame others because you feel bad about something only you can change. I will step down off my soapbox now. 3 3points reply Agent Tuna Ghost Agent Tuna Ghost Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago "... Conjured in the mind of someone looking to be a victim." I don't necessarily think people like this are *looking* to be victims, though. It sounds to me like this woman was just incredibly insecure about her size, and when faced with the reality that most of the dresses they had wouldn't fit someone as large her and probably feeling humiliated because of it, she lashed out. I'm not excusing her behavior at all, and I believe the sales rep handled the situation with as much sensitivity as she could, but I'd chalk what happened up to the woman's insecurity before I'd accuse her of actively looking to play the victim here. For all the anger and hostility she showed the sales rep, I can guarantee you she was feeling ten times as much anger and hate towards herself in that moment. I think most people who have found themselves in embarrassing situations before and acted like a jerk to mask their feelings can easily relate. 1 1point reply Brina Brina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago The fact she went to the manager, IS playing the "victim". She wanted to tell someone, and possibly get her into trouble. If it was just some normal "insecurity", chick woulda taken it with a grain of salt, and let it be. Nah, if I embarrass myself, I laugh it off and move on. Only an ignorant child would act like a jerk when they fucced up. 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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