98 Morning Jokes To Set The Spirit For The Day
98 Morning Jokes To Set The Spirit For The Day Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 98 Morning Jokes To Set The Spirit For The Day Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 19points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter Funny, Jokes2 weeks ago
Violeta Lyskoit
Publish Not your original work? Add source Michael Chapman wasn't the only man who hated mornings. Depending on your chronotype, you either love the morning or hate it. We could discuss the pros and cons of being an early bird or a night owl, but it's very much a personal preference. However, there's one thing that both morning and night people can agree on - morning jokes and puns are a great way to start the day, whether it's starting at 6 AM or noon. Whichever the case is, starting the day with a good morning joke can set the mood for the entire day. Many of us have a habit of going online to check the news first thing in the morning. Although that's an excellent way to keep up with current affairs, the abundance of negative headlines in the news can increase anxiety and sad moods. Why not check on more entertaining content, such as jokes about mornings? So brew yourself a coffee and get off on the right foot with some good morning jokes that will lift your spirits for the day. Below, we've compiled plenty of funny morning jokes and puns to read and have a giggle on your own, brighten up the vibes in the office, or get that daily Vitamin C dose. Know a morning joke that hasn't been mentioned? Write it in the comments! And if you want even more funny jokes for the morning, check out these mirthful one-liners! This post may include affiliate links. #1 My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. Report 56points POST Boaz Burger Boaz Burger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Your neighbors are lucky you don't have drums. I do. 10 10points reply #2 I never thought I'd be the type of person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right. Report 56points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Tried doing this once. I was ready for bed by 8am. 17 17points reply View more comments #3 My morning alarm is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed. Report 54points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago XD good one. These are pretty good. 5 5points reply View more comments #4 I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom. Report 54points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago That one hurts XD ngl. 11 11points reply View more comments #5 What happened to the guy that accidentally made his morning coffee with some Red Bull instead of with water?
He got halfway to his work before he realized he had forgotten his car. Report 53points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Sounds like something my 14yr old daughter would sneak and do? But hers would be coffee mixed with Monster and Pumpkin Spice Creamer 4 4points reply #6 I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m. Report 53points POST Sarah G Sarah G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Meeee too 4 4points reply View more comments #7 I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Report 51points POST Aubrey Theo Aubrey Theo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Waiting for the post apocalyptic world 8 8points reply View more comments #8 If you're feeling down, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Report 48points POST Sue User Sue User Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Morning ? I am not making it past midnight. 24 24points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year. Report 45points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Yup sounds like something my 19yr old would say 1 1point reply #10 The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me. Report 44points POST Jeremy Brinning Jeremy Brinning Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago It's definitely NOT Folgers, though. 14 14points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 The morning is great. Its only catch is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. Report 41points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago 12am And Up Is Fine, Until The Sun Comes Up And Everyone Else Wakes Up Too. That's My Cue To Hit The Sack!! 3 3points reply #12 Why do birds always sing in the morning?
Because they don't go to work. Report 40points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Actually it's cause they wanna be annoying to all of the hooomans and their fur babies every damn morning 4 4points reply View more comments #13 "Sometimes I can be a real morning person; like in the afternoon when I get up." ImChrisWilson Report 40points POST Rival Hydra Rival Hydra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I felt great when I woke at 11 4 4points reply #14 Waking up early in the morning and getting things done is one of the best feelings ever…
I assume. Report 39points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I Just Do Them At Night. Peace And Quiet. Me, Myself, And I. 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 Did you hear about the man that got hit by the very same bike every single morning?
It’s a vicious cycle. Report 38points POST #16 I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning…
That’s why I can’t have Sharpies in the house anymore. Report 38points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago ?? 5 5points reply View more comments #17 How did the man burn 800 calories in the morning easily? He forgot his pizza inside his oven. Report 37points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago This is so relatable LOL. 4 4points reply #18 I went to a haunted bed and breakfast in France.
That place was giving me the crêpes. Report 37points POST #19 "I’m very open-minded. I even have a friend who’s a morning person." EmberToAsh Report 35points POST Jody Whitmarsh Jody Whitmarsh Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I live with a guy that's a morning person 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 I don’t mind breakfast in bed… But I prefer it in a bowl. Report 34points POST Rival Hydra Rival Hydra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Same, but do you do milk then cereal or cereal then milk? Personally I start with the bowl. 12 12points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 When the man who was visiting his wife’s grave said "Morning" to another visitor, what did the other man reply?
He said, "No, I'm just walking my dog." Report 33points POST Tyler Melvin Tyler Melvin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I don't get it I'm confused 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 How did Moses make coffee in the morning?
He-brewed it. Report 33points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I'm sorry, but people who are easily offended should not be reading joke posts, most jokes are making fun of something. It's like paying to go see an insult comic, then turning into a Karen when you're the one focused on. 1 1point reply View more comments #23 I'm a morning person. Every morning when I wake up, I'm mourning the fact that I'm no longer sleeping. Report 32points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Always!! It's Even Worse When My Back And Whole Body Is Killing Me So I Can't Stay In Bed Anymore.... 1 1point reply #24 My outfits are typically inspired by the fact that I hit my snooze button 8 times every morning. Report 32points POST Emily V Emily V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Snooze? Lol loser I just turn it off and hope I can wake up in time to not miss the bus 7 7points reply #25 Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea. Report 30points POST Hold Up Hold Up Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Nope, you've already made your bed, now you gotta lay in it. XD 0 0points reply #26 Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. Report 30points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Guilty lmao 2 2points reply View more comments #27 A yawn in the morning is a silent scream for coffee… Report 29points POST SabbeRubbish SabbeRubbish Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 week ago It's not always that silent 7 7points reply View more comments #28 Have you heard about the guy who found a bunch of celery every morning on his front doorstep?
He thought he was being stalked. Report 28points POST #29 Bacon and eggs walk into a bar…
The bartender says, “Get out of here! We don’t serve breakfast!” Report 28points Saimonas Lukošius POST Nicholas Zaal Nicholas Zaal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Ooo so meta -9 -9points reply #30 What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning?
It becomes emptea. Report 28points POST #31 What would you say if you had breakfast with the Pope?
Eggs, Benedict? Report 25points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago ? 4 4points reply #32 Bought one of those travelling irons yesterday.
Woke up this morning and it was gone. Report 25points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Did it run away with the dish and the spoon this time? 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #33 What takes you the longest to get ready in the morning?
Finding the will to live. Report 25points POST Walter Gardella Walter Gardella Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago That's only because you are still trying to find it. 4 4points reply View more comments #34 Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning?
Twirly. Report 22points POST Destiny Thornton Destiny Thornton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ok. Cute.? 2 2points reply View more comments #35 What do you call a radio that just works in the morning?
An AM radio. Report 20points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ever since my local sports station joined the FM side, I have not needed the AM side. 1 1point reply View more comments #36 Did you hear about the man that found a bunch of LEGO every morning on his front porch?
He didn't know what to make of them. Report 20points POST mg76 mg76 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago make a bad joke 3 3points reply View more comments #37 What did the man say to his wife when she was grouchy all day because they ran out of bread?
"I didn't know you were lack-toast intolerant." Report 19points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Bo-Ring!! 0 0points reply #38 How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee?
Depresso. Report 19points POST #39 What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning?
Resistance Training! Report 19points POST #40 I was driving to work this morning when I saw a guy texting and driving.
I was so angry I rolled down my window and threw my beer can at him. Report 17points POST #41 I woke up this morning to find all by books and knick-knacks scattered all over the floor.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame. Report 17points POST #42 Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. Report 17points POST AnnaPanda AnnaPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Lol 0 0points reply #43 What beverage do sick people have in the morning?
Cough-ee. Report 16points POST Jeanie F-L Jeanie F-L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Or cough-eeze... 0 0points reply #44 What happens when you smell breakfast in the morning?
It would be bacon-ing me and I'd be very egg-cited. Report 16points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Bacon-Ing?? (Making Me??) I Don't Get This Part.... Egg-Cited = Excited (It Would Be Making Me And I'd Be Very Excited)???? -1 -1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #45 What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles. Report 15points POST #46 I couldn’t find the car window scraper this morning, so I used a plastic store discount card to clean my windows.
It didn’t work very well. I only got 20% off. Report 15points POST #47 What happened to the guy that started jogging in the mornings for his health?
It's now been almost a year no one knows where he actually is. Report 14points POST SabbeRubbish SabbeRubbish Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 week ago Great start for a true crime podcast (that he would have listened to during his last run...) 2 2points reply #48 What would you call having mushrooms every day in the morning?
It's what champignons eat. Report 13points POST Nathan Eyre Nathan Eyre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Breakfast of champignons 5 5points reply #49 What would you call the alarm clock which always goes off at 2 o'clock in the morning every day?
A ringing nightmare. Report 13points POST #50 Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from?
It eventually dawned on him. Report 12points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #51 What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
Siri-al. Report 12points POST Lindzey Perrin Lindzey Perrin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Maybe they need some "apple" juice with it 5 5points reply #52 What does a croissant say to a cup of coffee in the morning?
"You're not really my cup of tea." Report 12points POST DutchyInSpain DutchyInSpain Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago “Are you up for some morning dipping" 0 0points reply #53 "I'm totally a morning person in the sense that I'm a person and mornings happen and there's apparently nothing I can do about it." rushbomb Report 12points POST #54 What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies. Report 11points POST #55 What would you say if your dad asks you how the breakfast waffles he made were?
"They weren't w-awful." Report 11points POST #56 Good morning is a contradiction of terms. Report 11points POST #57 I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. Report 11points POST #58 What would you call it if you spent an entire morning coating a ladder with grease which leads into your attic?
An anti-climb-attic morning. Report 10points POST #59 What did the man say to his son when he wanted a frozen rito in the morning for breakfast?
"Son, you want a brrrr-rito?" Report 10points POST #60 What would you call it if you accidentally spilled some coffee grinds in the morning?
It was grounded. Report 10points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #61 What do you say when someone compliments the eggs you cooked for breakfast?
"Well, I'm an eggspert." Report 10points POST #62 What would you call it if you choke on your water when jogging every morning for a week?
The worst ever running gag. Report 10points POST #63 What do jokesters eat for breakfast?
Pun-cakes. Report 10points POST #64 Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Report 10points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ikr 1 1point reply #65 What would you say to your plumber if you heard a tap on your door first thing in the morning?
"You have quite a sense of humor." Report 9points POST #66 What did the one-legged woman do at the ATM every morning?
She checked her balance. Report 9points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago He he he 0 0points reply #67 What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat?
He said, "Don’t ask meow it happened". Report 9points POST #68 What does a pastry chef say to himself in the morning every day?
"I'll be making a lot of dough today." Report 9points POST #69 How does coffee usually help in the morning?
It makes people coffeedent. Report 9points POST #70 What did the pirate always eat for breakfast?
Captain Crunch. Report 9points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #71 This morning, my Grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My Grandpa said, “My hip replacement.” Report 9points POST #72 People think grass don’t be wet in the morning... but it dew. Report 9points POST #73 What did the woman say when she realized that her morning was actually bittersweet?
She said, "That's the last time I drink spoiled milk with sugar". Report 8points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ooooo. . 0 0points reply #74 What did the woman say before telling jokes in the ‘early mornings?
“You up for it?” Report 8points POST #75 Have you heard about a Frenchman that choked while he was eating his morning omelet?
He said, "Oeuf." Report 8points POST #76 What would happen if you were made to promise to put on your mask before going to work every morning?
I'd be late to work every day and definitely get tired of Jim Carey. Report 8points POST #77 Have you heard about a man named Aaron who also has a son named Aaron and they go jogging together every morning?
Well, they're running Aarons. Report 8points POST #78 What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning?
Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal. Report 8points POST #79 What would you call it if you had a gold-colored hot drink in a golden cup in the morning every day?
My gilt-tea pleasure. Report 8points POST #80 What do cows read in the morning?
The moospaper! Report 8points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #81 What do they call first thing in the morning in Poland?
The Krakow dawn. Report 8points POST #82 As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning. Report 8points POST #83 Why did the morning coffee never talk to the herbal drinks?
Because they weren’t really his cup of tea. Report 7points POST #84 What's the color of the sun when it rises in the early morning?
It's rose. Report 7points POST #85 Why did the jailer start counting the numbers of all the inmates in the morning?
Because she wanted a con-census. Report 7points POST #86 What do bakers say when they wake up in the mornings?
"Time to get bread-y now." Report 7points POST #87 What would you do if you got up in the morning, ran around the blocks a few times and got tired?
I'd pick up the blocks and put them back in my brother's toy box. Report 7points POST #88 Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning?
The police thought it was mugging. Report 7points POST #89 Why did the man make his hamster an extra-strong coffee in the morning?
He didn't want it to fall asleep at the wheel. Report 7points POST #90 The only good part about getting out of bed in the morning is that I get to eat again. Report 7points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #91 What did the man do when he found all his knick-knacks and books scattered all around the floor?
He just blamed him-shelf. Report 6points POST #92 Which superhero delivers the morning papers?
It's Newspaperman. Report 6points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Lame 0 0points reply #93 Why were the man and his family crying in the morning?
They were coming back from a moving sale. Report 6points POST #94 What drink do lobsters have in the morning?
Clawfee. Report 6points POST #95 What does a Moogle need every day when it wakes up?
It needs a kup-o coffee. Report 6points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Nice Final Fantasy reference 0 0points reply #96 Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ewok
Ewok who?
Ewok early this morning. Report 6points POST #97 Why did the man started going for body surfing every morning at the beach instead of watching the news?
Because it kept him abreast of the current events. Report 5points POST #98 Why did the man always cheat on his diet in the morning?
Because he thought, at the end of the day, he's staying faithful. Report 4points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
Use html version
Generate not embedded version
Add watermark Show Image Only
Hide Caption
Crop
Add watermark Add watermark Source
Title Update Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Violeta Lyskoit Violeta Lyskoit Writer, BoredPanda staff Violeta has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism (so you better believe she's checking her facts). If she's not writing or editing pics for the Gram, she's probably hitting legs at the gym. Also, she's a firm believer that pineapple belongs on a pizza. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust Saimonas Lukošius 80 Of The Funniest Puns Ever Akvile Petraityte It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up Ieva Pečiulytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work Join the conversation POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said "morning", to which he replied "no, just taking a s**t". 5 5points reply Christian Maas Christian Maas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ! 3 3points reply POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said "morning", to which he replied "no, just taking a s**t". 5 5points reply Christian Maas Christian Maas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ! 3 3points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets User Submissions The Best Microscopic Photos From The Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition 2022 (92 Pics) I Am So Passionate About Creating Mystical Art, Here Are Some Of The Magical Notebooks I Have Made (23 New Pics) 30 Comics About Making It Through Life While Fighting Mental Health Issues By This Artist “I Own An Official Nanosecond”: 35 Rare Items Owned By Our Community I Photographed This Ukrainian Village Because It Is My Solace That Inspires Me (38 pics) By Changing His Lifestyle And Eating Habits At Age 60, Steve Ramsden Has Successfully Lost Over 60 Lbs And Now Has A Body Of A Bodybuilder Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Subscribe Please enter email address Also on Bored Panda 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His Also on Bored Panda Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics) ‘Old Photos In Real Life’: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics) 30 People Who Quit Their Jobs With Style (New Pics) Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed “AITA? I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On” Follow We're also on Instagram and tumblr App Store App Store User Submissions Hey Pandas, How Often Do You Forget Something Important, And What Was The Result? 35replies 21 points Hey Pandas, Share Pics Of Your Halloween Decorations 4comments 22 points This Artist Continues To Create Amazing Logic-Challenging Photo Manipulations (70 New Pics) 5comments 33 points Hey Pandas, What's Something You've Made Yourself? (Closed) 6comments 29 points I Created My Own Dark Tarot Deck Featuring Creepy Creatures And Demons (78 Pics) 16comments 53 points This Artist Reimagines Brazilian States As Video Game Characters (22 Pics) 9comments 30 points Hairstylist Shares 30 Women Who Took The Risk Of Cutting Their Hair Short And Got Awesome Results (New Pics) 75comments 51 points Hey Pandas, What Is The Weirdest Name For A Human You've Ever Heard? (Closed) 80replies 21 points Artist Creates Adorable Images Of Dressed-Up Animals With References To Star Wars, The Hobbit And More (44 Pics) 23comments 61 points "An Amazing World Right Under Your Nose": 24 Pictures Of Nature That I Took With A Macro Lens 7comments 43 points Get the App App Store App Store Google News © 2022 Bored Panda
98 Morning Jokes To Set The Spirit For The Day
Saimonas Lukošius andVioleta Lyskoit
Publish Not your original work? Add source Michael Chapman wasn't the only man who hated mornings. Depending on your chronotype, you either love the morning or hate it. We could discuss the pros and cons of being an early bird or a night owl, but it's very much a personal preference. However, there's one thing that both morning and night people can agree on - morning jokes and puns are a great way to start the day, whether it's starting at 6 AM or noon. Whichever the case is, starting the day with a good morning joke can set the mood for the entire day. Many of us have a habit of going online to check the news first thing in the morning. Although that's an excellent way to keep up with current affairs, the abundance of negative headlines in the news can increase anxiety and sad moods. Why not check on more entertaining content, such as jokes about mornings? So brew yourself a coffee and get off on the right foot with some good morning jokes that will lift your spirits for the day. Below, we've compiled plenty of funny morning jokes and puns to read and have a giggle on your own, brighten up the vibes in the office, or get that daily Vitamin C dose. Know a morning joke that hasn't been mentioned? Write it in the comments! And if you want even more funny jokes for the morning, check out these mirthful one-liners! This post may include affiliate links. #1 My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. Report 56points POST Boaz Burger Boaz Burger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Your neighbors are lucky you don't have drums. I do. 10 10points reply #2 I never thought I'd be the type of person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right. Report 56points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Tried doing this once. I was ready for bed by 8am. 17 17points reply View more comments #3 My morning alarm is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed. Report 54points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago XD good one. These are pretty good. 5 5points reply View more comments #4 I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom. Report 54points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago That one hurts XD ngl. 11 11points reply View more comments #5 What happened to the guy that accidentally made his morning coffee with some Red Bull instead of with water?
He got halfway to his work before he realized he had forgotten his car. Report 53points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Sounds like something my 14yr old daughter would sneak and do? But hers would be coffee mixed with Monster and Pumpkin Spice Creamer 4 4points reply #6 I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m. Report 53points POST Sarah G Sarah G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Meeee too 4 4points reply View more comments #7 I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Report 51points POST Aubrey Theo Aubrey Theo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Waiting for the post apocalyptic world 8 8points reply View more comments #8 If you're feeling down, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Report 48points POST Sue User Sue User Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Morning ? I am not making it past midnight. 24 24points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year. Report 45points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Yup sounds like something my 19yr old would say 1 1point reply #10 The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me. Report 44points POST Jeremy Brinning Jeremy Brinning Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago It's definitely NOT Folgers, though. 14 14points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 The morning is great. Its only catch is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. Report 41points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago 12am And Up Is Fine, Until The Sun Comes Up And Everyone Else Wakes Up Too. That's My Cue To Hit The Sack!! 3 3points reply #12 Why do birds always sing in the morning?
Because they don't go to work. Report 40points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Actually it's cause they wanna be annoying to all of the hooomans and their fur babies every damn morning 4 4points reply View more comments #13 "Sometimes I can be a real morning person; like in the afternoon when I get up." ImChrisWilson Report 40points POST Rival Hydra Rival Hydra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I felt great when I woke at 11 4 4points reply #14 Waking up early in the morning and getting things done is one of the best feelings ever…
I assume. Report 39points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I Just Do Them At Night. Peace And Quiet. Me, Myself, And I. 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 Did you hear about the man that got hit by the very same bike every single morning?
It’s a vicious cycle. Report 38points POST #16 I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning…
That’s why I can’t have Sharpies in the house anymore. Report 38points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago ?? 5 5points reply View more comments #17 How did the man burn 800 calories in the morning easily? He forgot his pizza inside his oven. Report 37points POST StrangeOne StrangeOne Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago This is so relatable LOL. 4 4points reply #18 I went to a haunted bed and breakfast in France.
That place was giving me the crêpes. Report 37points POST #19 "I’m very open-minded. I even have a friend who’s a morning person." EmberToAsh Report 35points POST Jody Whitmarsh Jody Whitmarsh Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I live with a guy that's a morning person 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 I don’t mind breakfast in bed… But I prefer it in a bowl. Report 34points POST Rival Hydra Rival Hydra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Same, but do you do milk then cereal or cereal then milk? Personally I start with the bowl. 12 12points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 When the man who was visiting his wife’s grave said "Morning" to another visitor, what did the other man reply?
He said, "No, I'm just walking my dog." Report 33points POST Tyler Melvin Tyler Melvin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I don't get it I'm confused 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 How did Moses make coffee in the morning?
He-brewed it. Report 33points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago I'm sorry, but people who are easily offended should not be reading joke posts, most jokes are making fun of something. It's like paying to go see an insult comic, then turning into a Karen when you're the one focused on. 1 1point reply View more comments #23 I'm a morning person. Every morning when I wake up, I'm mourning the fact that I'm no longer sleeping. Report 32points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Always!! It's Even Worse When My Back And Whole Body Is Killing Me So I Can't Stay In Bed Anymore.... 1 1point reply #24 My outfits are typically inspired by the fact that I hit my snooze button 8 times every morning. Report 32points POST Emily V Emily V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Snooze? Lol loser I just turn it off and hope I can wake up in time to not miss the bus 7 7points reply #25 Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea. Report 30points POST Hold Up Hold Up Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Nope, you've already made your bed, now you gotta lay in it. XD 0 0points reply #26 Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. Report 30points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Guilty lmao 2 2points reply View more comments #27 A yawn in the morning is a silent scream for coffee… Report 29points POST SabbeRubbish SabbeRubbish Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 week ago It's not always that silent 7 7points reply View more comments #28 Have you heard about the guy who found a bunch of celery every morning on his front doorstep?
He thought he was being stalked. Report 28points POST #29 Bacon and eggs walk into a bar…
The bartender says, “Get out of here! We don’t serve breakfast!” Report 28points Saimonas Lukošius POST Nicholas Zaal Nicholas Zaal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Ooo so meta -9 -9points reply #30 What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning?
It becomes emptea. Report 28points POST #31 What would you say if you had breakfast with the Pope?
Eggs, Benedict? Report 25points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago ? 4 4points reply #32 Bought one of those travelling irons yesterday.
Woke up this morning and it was gone. Report 25points POST Shreeky Shreeky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Did it run away with the dish and the spoon this time? 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #33 What takes you the longest to get ready in the morning?
Finding the will to live. Report 25points POST Walter Gardella Walter Gardella Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago That's only because you are still trying to find it. 4 4points reply View more comments #34 Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning?
Twirly. Report 22points POST Destiny Thornton Destiny Thornton Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ok. Cute.? 2 2points reply View more comments #35 What do you call a radio that just works in the morning?
An AM radio. Report 20points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ever since my local sports station joined the FM side, I have not needed the AM side. 1 1point reply View more comments #36 Did you hear about the man that found a bunch of LEGO every morning on his front porch?
He didn't know what to make of them. Report 20points POST mg76 mg76 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago make a bad joke 3 3points reply View more comments #37 What did the man say to his wife when she was grouchy all day because they ran out of bread?
"I didn't know you were lack-toast intolerant." Report 19points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Bo-Ring!! 0 0points reply #38 How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee?
Depresso. Report 19points POST #39 What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning?
Resistance Training! Report 19points POST #40 I was driving to work this morning when I saw a guy texting and driving.
I was so angry I rolled down my window and threw my beer can at him. Report 17points POST #41 I woke up this morning to find all by books and knick-knacks scattered all over the floor.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame. Report 17points POST #42 Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. Report 17points POST AnnaPanda AnnaPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Lol 0 0points reply #43 What beverage do sick people have in the morning?
Cough-ee. Report 16points POST Jeanie F-L Jeanie F-L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Or cough-eeze... 0 0points reply #44 What happens when you smell breakfast in the morning?
It would be bacon-ing me and I'd be very egg-cited. Report 16points POST Yodelis Sosa Yodelis Sosa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Bacon-Ing?? (Making Me??) I Don't Get This Part.... Egg-Cited = Excited (It Would Be Making Me And I'd Be Very Excited)???? -1 -1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #45 What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles. Report 15points POST #46 I couldn’t find the car window scraper this morning, so I used a plastic store discount card to clean my windows.
It didn’t work very well. I only got 20% off. Report 15points POST #47 What happened to the guy that started jogging in the mornings for his health?
It's now been almost a year no one knows where he actually is. Report 14points POST SabbeRubbish SabbeRubbish Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 week ago Great start for a true crime podcast (that he would have listened to during his last run...) 2 2points reply #48 What would you call having mushrooms every day in the morning?
It's what champignons eat. Report 13points POST Nathan Eyre Nathan Eyre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Breakfast of champignons 5 5points reply #49 What would you call the alarm clock which always goes off at 2 o'clock in the morning every day?
A ringing nightmare. Report 13points POST #50 Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from?
It eventually dawned on him. Report 12points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #51 What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
Siri-al. Report 12points POST Lindzey Perrin Lindzey Perrin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Maybe they need some "apple" juice with it 5 5points reply #52 What does a croissant say to a cup of coffee in the morning?
"You're not really my cup of tea." Report 12points POST DutchyInSpain DutchyInSpain Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago “Are you up for some morning dipping" 0 0points reply #53 "I'm totally a morning person in the sense that I'm a person and mornings happen and there's apparently nothing I can do about it." rushbomb Report 12points POST #54 What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies. Report 11points POST #55 What would you say if your dad asks you how the breakfast waffles he made were?
"They weren't w-awful." Report 11points POST #56 Good morning is a contradiction of terms. Report 11points POST #57 I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. Report 11points POST #58 What would you call it if you spent an entire morning coating a ladder with grease which leads into your attic?
An anti-climb-attic morning. Report 10points POST #59 What did the man say to his son when he wanted a frozen rito in the morning for breakfast?
"Son, you want a brrrr-rito?" Report 10points POST #60 What would you call it if you accidentally spilled some coffee grinds in the morning?
It was grounded. Report 10points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #61 What do you say when someone compliments the eggs you cooked for breakfast?
"Well, I'm an eggspert." Report 10points POST #62 What would you call it if you choke on your water when jogging every morning for a week?
The worst ever running gag. Report 10points POST #63 What do jokesters eat for breakfast?
Pun-cakes. Report 10points POST #64 Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore. Report 10points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ikr 1 1point reply #65 What would you say to your plumber if you heard a tap on your door first thing in the morning?
"You have quite a sense of humor." Report 9points POST #66 What did the one-legged woman do at the ATM every morning?
She checked her balance. Report 9points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago He he he 0 0points reply #67 What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat?
He said, "Don’t ask meow it happened". Report 9points POST #68 What does a pastry chef say to himself in the morning every day?
"I'll be making a lot of dough today." Report 9points POST #69 How does coffee usually help in the morning?
It makes people coffeedent. Report 9points POST #70 What did the pirate always eat for breakfast?
Captain Crunch. Report 9points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #71 This morning, my Grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My Grandpa said, “My hip replacement.” Report 9points POST #72 People think grass don’t be wet in the morning... but it dew. Report 9points POST #73 What did the woman say when she realized that her morning was actually bittersweet?
She said, "That's the last time I drink spoiled milk with sugar". Report 8points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Ooooo. . 0 0points reply #74 What did the woman say before telling jokes in the ‘early mornings?
“You up for it?” Report 8points POST #75 Have you heard about a Frenchman that choked while he was eating his morning omelet?
He said, "Oeuf." Report 8points POST #76 What would happen if you were made to promise to put on your mask before going to work every morning?
I'd be late to work every day and definitely get tired of Jim Carey. Report 8points POST #77 Have you heard about a man named Aaron who also has a son named Aaron and they go jogging together every morning?
Well, they're running Aarons. Report 8points POST #78 What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning?
Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal. Report 8points POST #79 What would you call it if you had a gold-colored hot drink in a golden cup in the morning every day?
My gilt-tea pleasure. Report 8points POST #80 What do cows read in the morning?
The moospaper! Report 8points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #81 What do they call first thing in the morning in Poland?
The Krakow dawn. Report 8points POST #82 As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning. Report 8points POST #83 Why did the morning coffee never talk to the herbal drinks?
Because they weren’t really his cup of tea. Report 7points POST #84 What's the color of the sun when it rises in the early morning?
It's rose. Report 7points POST #85 Why did the jailer start counting the numbers of all the inmates in the morning?
Because she wanted a con-census. Report 7points POST #86 What do bakers say when they wake up in the mornings?
"Time to get bread-y now." Report 7points POST #87 What would you do if you got up in the morning, ran around the blocks a few times and got tired?
I'd pick up the blocks and put them back in my brother's toy box. Report 7points POST #88 Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning?
The police thought it was mugging. Report 7points POST #89 Why did the man make his hamster an extra-strong coffee in the morning?
He didn't want it to fall asleep at the wheel. Report 7points POST #90 The only good part about getting out of bed in the morning is that I get to eat again. Report 7points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #91 What did the man do when he found all his knick-knacks and books scattered all around the floor?
He just blamed him-shelf. Report 6points POST #92 Which superhero delivers the morning papers?
It's Newspaperman. Report 6points POST IceCreamLover IceCreamLover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Lame 0 0points reply #93 Why were the man and his family crying in the morning?
They were coming back from a moving sale. Report 6points POST #94 What drink do lobsters have in the morning?
Clawfee. Report 6points POST #95 What does a Moogle need every day when it wakes up?
It needs a kup-o coffee. Report 6points POST Adam L Adam L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Nice Final Fantasy reference 0 0points reply #96 Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ewok
Ewok who?
Ewok early this morning. Report 6points POST #97 Why did the man started going for body surfing every morning at the beach instead of watching the news?
Because it kept him abreast of the current events. Report 5points POST #98 Why did the man always cheat on his diet in the morning?
Because he thought, at the end of the day, he's staying faithful. Report 4points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
Use html version
Generate not embedded version
Add watermark Show Image Only
Hide Caption
Crop
Add watermark Add watermark Source
Title Update Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Violeta Lyskoit Violeta Lyskoit Writer, BoredPanda staff Violeta has completed her higher education at Northumbria University with a bachelor's degree in Media & Journalism (so you better believe she's checking her facts). If she's not writing or editing pics for the Gram, she's probably hitting legs at the gym. Also, she's a firm believer that pineapple belongs on a pizza. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust Saimonas Lukošius 80 Of The Funniest Puns Ever Akvile Petraityte It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up Ieva Pečiulytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work Join the conversation POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said "morning", to which he replied "no, just taking a s**t". 5 5points reply Christian Maas Christian Maas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ! 3 3points reply POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said "morning", to which he replied "no, just taking a s**t". 5 5points reply Christian Maas Christian Maas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ! 3 3points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets User Submissions The Best Microscopic Photos From The Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition 2022 (92 Pics) I Am So Passionate About Creating Mystical Art, Here Are Some Of The Magical Notebooks I Have Made (23 New Pics) 30 Comics About Making It Through Life While Fighting Mental Health Issues By This Artist “I Own An Official Nanosecond”: 35 Rare Items Owned By Our Community I Photographed This Ukrainian Village Because It Is My Solace That Inspires Me (38 pics) By Changing His Lifestyle And Eating Habits At Age 60, Steve Ramsden Has Successfully Lost Over 60 Lbs And Now Has A Body Of A Bodybuilder Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Subscribe Please enter email address Also on Bored Panda 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His Also on Bored Panda Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share 23 Y.O. Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics) ‘Old Photos In Real Life’: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics) 30 People Who Quit Their Jobs With Style (New Pics) Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed “AITA? I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On” Follow We're also on Instagram and tumblr App Store App Store User Submissions Hey Pandas, How Often Do You Forget Something Important, And What Was The Result? 35replies 21 points Hey Pandas, Share Pics Of Your Halloween Decorations 4comments 22 points This Artist Continues To Create Amazing Logic-Challenging Photo Manipulations (70 New Pics) 5comments 33 points Hey Pandas, What's Something You've Made Yourself? (Closed) 6comments 29 points I Created My Own Dark Tarot Deck Featuring Creepy Creatures And Demons (78 Pics) 16comments 53 points This Artist Reimagines Brazilian States As Video Game Characters (22 Pics) 9comments 30 points Hairstylist Shares 30 Women Who Took The Risk Of Cutting Their Hair Short And Got Awesome Results (New Pics) 75comments 51 points Hey Pandas, What Is The Weirdest Name For A Human You've Ever Heard? (Closed) 80replies 21 points Artist Creates Adorable Images Of Dressed-Up Animals With References To Star Wars, The Hobbit And More (44 Pics) 23comments 61 points "An Amazing World Right Under Your Nose": 24 Pictures Of Nature That I Took With A Macro Lens 7comments 43 points Get the App App Store App Store Google News © 2022 Bored Panda