People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread
People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 179points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter Parenting1 year ago
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Publish Not your original work? Add source One third of Americans regret their life choices and wish they could do things differently. But big things start small. Many of us do regret the words we uttered, things we said to people, especially to those who are closest to us. It's no secret that words have power to heal, but they can also hurt deeply. Especially when you're at your most vulnerable, still being a kid with the vast world waiting to be explored. Things our parents say shape us in profound ways, some good, some inherently harmful. So people on r/AskReddit are now sharing the things that should never, ever be said to children. From divorced parents screwing up their kid's mind with manipulation to telling them they're "useless," the answers on the thread are cruel enough while being read, let alone being said to a small kid. This post may include affiliate links. #1 My drunken father once told me, "You'll never be the man that I am." I remember thinking, "You're damn right I won't be." p38-lightning Report Final score: 372points POST Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago For good! 88 88points reply View more comments #2 "you don't have the right to privacy", "you are a child, you have no rights", "at least I'm putting a roof over your head", "I wish I never had you". TennisOnWii Report Final score: 235points POST Miocha Miocha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My dad always said that I don't have the right to privacy because I'm his child. He even had the audacity to ask my email and social media password because it's right thing to do according to him. 63 63points reply View More Replies... View more comments #3 'It's all in your head/you are just imagining it.' As it turned out, I wasn't imagining it and now I struggle to differentiate between what's real and what's not because I was led to believe I was imagining things constantly. Missing_Maestos Report Final score: 229points POST Natalie Bohrteller Natalie Bohrteller Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sounds like gaslighting. 89 89points reply View More Replies... View more comments To find out more about how the things parents tell their kids can affect them and what damage it may cause on a profound level, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang from "The Quiet Zone Coaching," who's a certified life coach, teaching adults and teens. Susan said that a lot of our emotional dysfunction can originate with childhood experiences and messages. "One of the most prevalent that I see is low self-esteem, which can result in anxiety, the inability to interact effectively in society, and being used and abused by the psychic vampires and bullies of the world," she said and added: "Believe it or not, bullying, aggressive, and entitled behavior can also be caused by low self esteem!" #4 We had you so your brother would have someone to play with. SwearWords Report Final score: 171points POST Pepper Sergent Pepper Sergent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I had a colleague who told me, wile pregnant, that she was having her second child so the first one wouldn't feel lonely. I never saw her in the same way again. 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 Trash talking about the other parent, then comparing you to them. 'You’re just like your father!' nbryan88 Report Final score: 168points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago In my case, my dad always said to me “you’re just like your mother” as I got older, I was happy that I was more like my wonderful mom! 76 76points reply View More Replies... View more comments #6 "I am not asking you do to it, it is an order!" "Why did I give birth to you?" "I wish you were never born." "You are ruining my life." or "You ruined my life." "How dare you disobey me." "You are a disappointment." Or any insult tbh. Or comparing you to other kids, or to your siblings.
Ok_Ingenuity_1426 Report Final score: 160points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What kind of parent would say this to their children? You would have to be a very abusive person to talk to your kids like this! 60 60points reply View More Replies... View more comments When asked about the things one should never say to another person, Susan said that it's things like "'I hate you!' 'Don't be stupid!' 'Don't you ever learn?' or, 'Why can't you be more like your brother?'" "Are you dismissive of your child's opinion, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you? Sometimes it's not words, it's behaviors that create bad feelings. Do you ignore your child? Do you comfort them when they're crying, or do you let them 'cry it out'? Do you and your partner fight in front of the kids (especially when it concerns them)?" #7 'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking or constructive criticism was the worst for me. Derpchieftain Report Final score: 142points POST Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago "If you try to guilt-trip me, you are!" 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 Constantly comparing you with your older siblings and giving you extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough. mo95z Report Final score: 136points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A decent parent, will always treat all of their children equally. 35 35points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 'You’re being dramatic' or 'Quit being emotional', 'why are you being difficult', 'you make things so hard on me', 'someone else has it worse so stop crying'. Sxthu , VividTangerine Report Final score: 134points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh yes, I remember hearing that. 35 35points reply View more comments The good news is that the right words and behaviors have the power to not only heal, but also build self-esteem, teach compassion, and provide examples of what healthy relationships look like. Susan explained how a parent should do that: "Listen to your children. Use reflective listening to engage them. 'It seems like you're upset. Want to tell me what's happening?' 'I'm hearing that you're really frustrated. Let's see what we can do to solve the problem.' 'I feel like you're very angry that I won't let you go out with your friends. Do you understand why?'" #10 Making fun of your kid for making a change in their life for the better. I was always anti-social and the complete opposite of athletic. When I began to try and work out to gain some muscle, I got teased by my parents. All that did was discourage me and make me want to quit. ScrapDraft Report Final score: 133points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah, my mom was complete kill-joy. When I wanted to try something new as a kid, like skateboarding, she said "Why would you want to do something stupid like that? That's for boys. You should do something useful like dust the furniture." 64 64points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 I gave up everything I liked for you
95? Why not 100?
why can't you be like so and so's child, they do 'one impressive thing' Average_jaded_guy Report Final score: 128points POST Artoonist Corine Artoonist Corine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I remember being in 7th grade - I won a local art contest. I showed my grandmother who was visiting (we never got to see her because she lived so far away) the blue ribbon and the painting. She took one tiny look and instantly said, "Oh you should see the art your cousin "Margaret" does!" and went on and on about "Margaret". That ruined any relationship I could have with that Grandmother 25 25points reply View more comments #12 I have a list.
I wish I [terminated my pregnancy]
I wish I put you up for adoption.
List all the bad things about dad and then immediately tell me I look/act just like him.
What did I do to deserve such a disrespectful child why couldn't I have a good one? (I was not a bad kid at all, always home, cleaning the house, cooking for her, good grades, people pleaser, etc.)
She wonders why I never talked to her about big things happening in my life, why I put 5,000 miles in-between us, and why I haven't returned home for almost 10 years. amt628 Report Final score: 126points POST Toni Lilly Toni Lilly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment has been deleted. 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments Meanwhile, the tone of your voice is also crucial as Susan said it's the setpoint for the conversation. "Do you want to have a discussion, or a fight? Stay calm. If you or your child is getting upset, take a break. 'I feel like I'm getting angry about this. Can we take a 10 minute break and finish the conversation when we're both calmer?'" Sometimes, it's a disciplinary issue that needs addressing, and in those cases, Susan suggests using the XYZ Limit Setting Statement. For example, "'When you do X, I feel Y, and I'd like Z.' For example: 'When you go out with your friends without permission, I get angry and anxious. I'd like you to tell me where you're going from now on.'" #13 I think probably the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child is any form of, 'Nobody will ever love you as much as I do' or 'I'm the only one who really loves you.' It's the psychological equivalent of a bear trap. Its purpose isn't just to hurt the kid, but to keep them from ever leaving. S_thyrsoidea Report Final score: 125points POST Thomas Stead Thomas Stead Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago my mum does this all the time 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 Any time your mom talks about how much she weighed when she was your age. 'When I was your age, I weighed 98 pounds.' sprucecone Report Final score: 113points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah! And so... 31 31points reply View more comments #15 In my experience, any time divorced parents say stuff like: 'Don't talk about that to your [other parent],' 'Tell your [other parent] this,' or 'Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you.' It really screws with the kid's head. Loa_Ex_Machina Report Final score: 112points POST Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago My mums best friend was abused by her husband. At the end she managed to report him and they divorced but he manipulated the sons into believing that their mother was crazy abd they went to live with him. It broke her heart. It took them years to realise how terrible their father was and to go back to their mother. 51 51points reply View More Replies... View more comments At the same time, every parent should make sure to have consequences for bad behavior that fit the crime. Susan said that "you wouldn't ground your child for 2 weeks for not putting his plate in the dishwasher, and you wouldn't take his phone away for a day if he got caught shoplifting." #16 When I was 11 I overheard my mother telling someone that at least my looks meant she didn’t have to worry about me being [touched]. That [screwed] me up for years. M_Ad Report Final score: 103points POST JennyLaRue JennyLaRue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's horrendous 65 65points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 My mother told me when I was 8, that nobody likes a fat girl. I wasn't even really overweight. That and many other things she said and did made me develop an eating disorder...at the age of 8. More than 30 years later, and a lot more mental abuse, I still struggle with the whole eating thing. WhiteGirlGrooves Report Final score: 93points POST Scagsy Scagsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's hard enough dealing with the social media pressures without your mum chipping in and making things worse. I fear for young girls growing up right now with all the unrealistic standards set by 'influencers' and such. It must be so hard. 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 after i got accepted to my dream college my mom told me i’m too stupid to actually go and succeed. i graduated high school with honors. but i thought she was right. i dropped out before i even went. still regret it rad-butt Report Final score: 92points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It’s never too late you know. You can still do it now. 78 78points reply View More Replies... View more comments "Another great strategy for communicating with your children is to ask yourself, 'What effect will these words have in the long run? What will I teach my child by saying this?' Is what you're saying going to teach them that it's OK to shout at others? That they're 'bad'? Put yourself in their position. What are they experiencing?" According to the certified life coach, "children's reality is much different from what we experienced when we were that age," and if you're not sure, just ask! #19 I wish you were the one who [passed away] not your father. SchrecklichXy Report Final score: 89points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago God, that's incredibly hurtful. 26 26points reply View more comments #20 As your mother, I have to love you, but sometimes I really don’t like you. hissandrunaway Report Final score: 86points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Fortunately, I never had to go through this, but I feel bad for anyone who had to. 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 "I understand but I don't respect you" - My mother after I came out twice. Some people think that's not a big deal. It is huge and it f***ing hurts so much. Cookie_Wolfe Report Final score: 86points POST Thomas Stead Thomas Stead Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago yeah 11 11points reply View more comments We also talked to Kimberly Koljat, a licensed marriage and family therapist who said that "it is true adults often underestimate children's capability of understanding the world around them, which can even have a negative impact on children and their sense of self." Not only can parents deeply hurt them by choosing the wrong words to communicate themselves, but the way they look at their child can cause a sense that children's beliefs and thoughts are not to be trusted or that they're invalid. "It later creates difficulty in setting boundaries, making decisions, or maintaining a positive sense of self," said Kimberly. #22 "I'm glad that you're adopted it reminds me that you don't have my dna" "you're not a part of this family" and even in early years like 6 and 7 years old "you're not special. You are nothing and never will be something!" DrShoreRL Report Final score: 80points POST Nadine Debard Nadine Debard Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago OMG It's just so sad... Fortunately you don't have this DNA, cause it sucks. 76 76points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #23 I wish you were never born AmunPharaoh Report Final score: 79points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What kind of parent would ever say that?? 29 29points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 My dad once told me he missed when I was a little kid, because back then I was dependent on him and couldn't say no.
I told that to a psychiatrist and her eyes damn near fell out of her face. ipakookapi Report Final score: 77points POST Jessica Aubé Jessica Aubé Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You ever parented a pre teen or teenager ??? Cause a lot of parents have those moments of wanting their babies back .. maybe not the best idea to share those thoughts but parents make mistakes and I am highly suspect of a psychiatrist who would be shocked by these emotions .. 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 "You're a useless disappointment" "Do you think you'll ever amount to anything?" "You're pathetic." "You're like a tiny little ant-- I could destroy you so easily." "I don't deserve you. I'm too good of a parent for you." "You're an abuser." 15083randomthoughts Report Final score: 72points POST Nadine Debard Nadine Debard Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Abusive parent. How hurtful. 24 24points reply View more comments #26 “We had you so you could donate organs/plasma etc to your sibling” like that film my sisters keeper. pjwy Report Final score: 67points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah, because nothing says 'I love you' better than telling someone that they are nothing but spare parts. 54 54points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 I never wanted to have kids with your dad. He forced me to have you. But_like_whytho Report Final score: 62points POST Steve Barnett Steve Barnett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Retort: "I never wanted to be born, but you went ahead and created me. Touché" 50 50points reply View more comments #28 my mum told me i deserved nothing in life because i forgot to do the dishes before she came home lol ilikechurch Report Final score: 61points POST Proud gold rose Proud gold rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Over dramatic parenttt 34 34points reply View more comments #29 "Look 'x' kid is doing it better than you"
"Look that kid is 'x' year old and they can do it" I-Am-The-Warlus Report Final score: 60points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, I got these too. I always hated it. 22 22points reply View more comments #30 "You're the reason why your dad and I almost divorced." 3_angels Report Final score: 59points POST Morna Bibbw Morna Bibbw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My dad told me I was the reason they got divorced. He was still telling me this last year before he died. I'm 52. 7 7points reply View more comments Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Justinas Keturka Justinas Keturka Author, BoredPanda staff Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. In his spare time, he creates graphic collages and even had his first artwork exhibition at "Devilstone". Read more » Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 30 Times Honest Kids Slam-Dunked Adults With Savage Roasts, As Shared In This Online Thread Ieva Pečiulytė Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers Denis Tymulis It’s Time For The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This June (40 Pics) Mantas Kačerauskas Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Leave a comment POST Konpat Konpat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Toxic parents are the number one reason for screwed up lifes. Worst of all, if you don't realize this and heal, there's a big chance you become such a parent yourself 39 39points reply Freya the Wanderer Freya the Wanderer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I could create an entire BP entry with all the s### my sadistic ogress of a mother said to me. Good thing my father was there to come to my rescue! I'm amazed they stuck together to the end. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too and I look at my step-father and wonder why the hell he stays. I know why I'm here, for medical reasons, but he could get out and be free. I think he stays to protect me and that makes me feel guilty. 2 2points reply Michaela Michaela Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t create the situation. 4 4points reply Helen Haley Helen Haley Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think child development/psychology should be taught starting late gradeschool through graduation. It would help everyone work through their stuff, and help future generations be better parents. 5 5points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yup that's why I don't want kids. I have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and I don't want to inflict any of that on an innocent kid. 1 1point reply Hannah Edwards Hannah Edwards Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick. 32 32points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A child's toughness is not a reflection of a parent's toughness, so I will sharpen the stick for you. I was on the wrong end of a father like that, and he was.... well, I got out, but it never left *me*, y'know? 11 11points reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband is being an insensitive jerk, but I recommend for your son’s sake trying a little diplomacy. Perhaps you can convince your husband to switch his messaging to, “I know you can get through because you’re tough, and I’m here for you.” 7 7points reply Chenandoa Chenandoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm prone to anxiety (like my mom), but I didnt know what that was until recently. I am more likely to get mad if I'm anxious. Toughen up? Yeah right...does your husband have any fears like needles? Tell him to tough up for that. Real men dont need to criticize others, and can handle emotions (or at least not criticize them at all) 3 3points reply Mimic Mimic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Unprofessional/unsolicited advice: I hope you two can have a conversation about what it means to be a man in today's society and how words like "toughen up" make anyone bury whatever feelings they are experiencing. You could also try mimicking, when/if your husband whines you could mirror his behavior so maybe he could see how those words aren't productive. I hope your son can work through his anxiety and bravo to you for recognizing it and trying to help. 1 1point reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband needs to quit being a tool. You can't make anxiety go away by telling someone to "toughen up." I would not be surprised if your husband is the root cause of your son's anxiety. Best thing you can do for your son is get him into therapy and away from your husband. 0 0points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I studied to become a vet, but failed. That was 14 years ago. Became a trainee in a library, got a job there and have been working there for 13 years now. To this day, my mother tells all her neighbours, friends etc. that I‘m a vet because she‘s so ashamed of me. 24 24points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!" 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Materyst Materyst Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing! 7 7points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not "nothing to be ashamed of". It's a great job. 1 1point reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome. 4 4points reply TheLazyPoki TheLazyPoki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :) 3 3points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you everyone for your support. I sincerely appreciate it. I assume my mother doesn’t really have a problem with me being a librarian but with me being 'too stupid' to succeed at my studies. I do love my job very much though. 2 2points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake. 2 2points reply ALM, BLM, Y'know. ALM, BLM, Y'know. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!! 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Konpat Konpat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Toxic parents are the number one reason for screwed up lifes. Worst of all, if you don't realize this and heal, there's a big chance you become such a parent yourself 39 39points reply Freya the Wanderer Freya the Wanderer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I could create an entire BP entry with all the s### my sadistic ogress of a mother said to me. Good thing my father was there to come to my rescue! I'm amazed they stuck together to the end. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too and I look at my step-father and wonder why the hell he stays. I know why I'm here, for medical reasons, but he could get out and be free. I think he stays to protect me and that makes me feel guilty. 2 2points reply Michaela Michaela Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t create the situation. 4 4points reply Helen Haley Helen Haley Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think child development/psychology should be taught starting late gradeschool through graduation. It would help everyone work through their stuff, and help future generations be better parents. 5 5points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yup that's why I don't want kids. I have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and I don't want to inflict any of that on an innocent kid. 1 1point reply Hannah Edwards Hannah Edwards Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick. 32 32points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A child's toughness is not a reflection of a parent's toughness, so I will sharpen the stick for you. I was on the wrong end of a father like that, and he was.... well, I got out, but it never left *me*, y'know? 11 11points reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband is being an insensitive jerk, but I recommend for your son’s sake trying a little diplomacy. Perhaps you can convince your husband to switch his messaging to, “I know you can get through because you’re tough, and I’m here for you.” 7 7points reply Chenandoa Chenandoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm prone to anxiety (like my mom), but I didnt know what that was until recently. I am more likely to get mad if I'm anxious. Toughen up? Yeah right...does your husband have any fears like needles? Tell him to tough up for that. Real men dont need to criticize others, and can handle emotions (or at least not criticize them at all) 3 3points reply Mimic Mimic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Unprofessional/unsolicited advice: I hope you two can have a conversation about what it means to be a man in today's society and how words like "toughen up" make anyone bury whatever feelings they are experiencing. You could also try mimicking, when/if your husband whines you could mirror his behavior so maybe he could see how those words aren't productive. I hope your son can work through his anxiety and bravo to you for recognizing it and trying to help. 1 1point reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband needs to quit being a tool. You can't make anxiety go away by telling someone to "toughen up." I would not be surprised if your husband is the root cause of your son's anxiety. Best thing you can do for your son is get him into therapy and away from your husband. 0 0points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I studied to become a vet, but failed. That was 14 years ago. Became a trainee in a library, got a job there and have been working there for 13 years now. To this day, my mother tells all her neighbours, friends etc. that I‘m a vet because she‘s so ashamed of me. 24 24points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!" 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Materyst Materyst Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing! 7 7points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not "nothing to be ashamed of". It's a great job. 1 1point reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome. 4 4points reply TheLazyPoki TheLazyPoki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :) 3 3points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you everyone for your support. I sincerely appreciate it. I assume my mother doesn’t really have a problem with me being a librarian but with me being 'too stupid' to succeed at my studies. I do love my job very much though. 2 2points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake. 2 2points reply ALM, BLM, Y'know. ALM, BLM, Y'know. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!! 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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People Share The Most Toxic Things Their Parents Have Told Them In This Horrifying Online Thread
Justinas Keturka andLiucija Adomaite
Publish Not your original work? Add source One third of Americans regret their life choices and wish they could do things differently. But big things start small. Many of us do regret the words we uttered, things we said to people, especially to those who are closest to us. It's no secret that words have power to heal, but they can also hurt deeply. Especially when you're at your most vulnerable, still being a kid with the vast world waiting to be explored. Things our parents say shape us in profound ways, some good, some inherently harmful. So people on r/AskReddit are now sharing the things that should never, ever be said to children. From divorced parents screwing up their kid's mind with manipulation to telling them they're "useless," the answers on the thread are cruel enough while being read, let alone being said to a small kid. This post may include affiliate links. #1 My drunken father once told me, "You'll never be the man that I am." I remember thinking, "You're damn right I won't be." p38-lightning Report Final score: 372points POST Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago For good! 88 88points reply View more comments #2 "you don't have the right to privacy", "you are a child, you have no rights", "at least I'm putting a roof over your head", "I wish I never had you". TennisOnWii Report Final score: 235points POST Miocha Miocha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My dad always said that I don't have the right to privacy because I'm his child. He even had the audacity to ask my email and social media password because it's right thing to do according to him. 63 63points reply View More Replies... View more comments #3 'It's all in your head/you are just imagining it.' As it turned out, I wasn't imagining it and now I struggle to differentiate between what's real and what's not because I was led to believe I was imagining things constantly. Missing_Maestos Report Final score: 229points POST Natalie Bohrteller Natalie Bohrteller Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sounds like gaslighting. 89 89points reply View More Replies... View more comments To find out more about how the things parents tell their kids can affect them and what damage it may cause on a profound level, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang from "The Quiet Zone Coaching," who's a certified life coach, teaching adults and teens. Susan said that a lot of our emotional dysfunction can originate with childhood experiences and messages. "One of the most prevalent that I see is low self-esteem, which can result in anxiety, the inability to interact effectively in society, and being used and abused by the psychic vampires and bullies of the world," she said and added: "Believe it or not, bullying, aggressive, and entitled behavior can also be caused by low self esteem!" #4 We had you so your brother would have someone to play with. SwearWords Report Final score: 171points POST Pepper Sergent Pepper Sergent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I had a colleague who told me, wile pregnant, that she was having her second child so the first one wouldn't feel lonely. I never saw her in the same way again. 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 Trash talking about the other parent, then comparing you to them. 'You’re just like your father!' nbryan88 Report Final score: 168points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago In my case, my dad always said to me “you’re just like your mother” as I got older, I was happy that I was more like my wonderful mom! 76 76points reply View More Replies... View more comments #6 "I am not asking you do to it, it is an order!" "Why did I give birth to you?" "I wish you were never born." "You are ruining my life." or "You ruined my life." "How dare you disobey me." "You are a disappointment." Or any insult tbh. Or comparing you to other kids, or to your siblings.
Ok_Ingenuity_1426 Report Final score: 160points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What kind of parent would say this to their children? You would have to be a very abusive person to talk to your kids like this! 60 60points reply View More Replies... View more comments When asked about the things one should never say to another person, Susan said that it's things like "'I hate you!' 'Don't be stupid!' 'Don't you ever learn?' or, 'Why can't you be more like your brother?'" "Are you dismissive of your child's opinion, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you? Sometimes it's not words, it's behaviors that create bad feelings. Do you ignore your child? Do you comfort them when they're crying, or do you let them 'cry it out'? Do you and your partner fight in front of the kids (especially when it concerns them)?" #7 'So you're saying that I'm a bad parent' in response to any form of help-seeking or constructive criticism was the worst for me. Derpchieftain Report Final score: 142points POST Hans Hans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago "If you try to guilt-trip me, you are!" 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 Constantly comparing you with your older siblings and giving you extremely different treatment. It makes you feel inferior to them and like no matter how much you try or do, it will never be enough. mo95z Report Final score: 136points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A decent parent, will always treat all of their children equally. 35 35points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 'You’re being dramatic' or 'Quit being emotional', 'why are you being difficult', 'you make things so hard on me', 'someone else has it worse so stop crying'. Sxthu , VividTangerine Report Final score: 134points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh yes, I remember hearing that. 35 35points reply View more comments The good news is that the right words and behaviors have the power to not only heal, but also build self-esteem, teach compassion, and provide examples of what healthy relationships look like. Susan explained how a parent should do that: "Listen to your children. Use reflective listening to engage them. 'It seems like you're upset. Want to tell me what's happening?' 'I'm hearing that you're really frustrated. Let's see what we can do to solve the problem.' 'I feel like you're very angry that I won't let you go out with your friends. Do you understand why?'" #10 Making fun of your kid for making a change in their life for the better. I was always anti-social and the complete opposite of athletic. When I began to try and work out to gain some muscle, I got teased by my parents. All that did was discourage me and make me want to quit. ScrapDraft Report Final score: 133points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah, my mom was complete kill-joy. When I wanted to try something new as a kid, like skateboarding, she said "Why would you want to do something stupid like that? That's for boys. You should do something useful like dust the furniture." 64 64points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 I gave up everything I liked for you
95? Why not 100?
why can't you be like so and so's child, they do 'one impressive thing' Average_jaded_guy Report Final score: 128points POST Artoonist Corine Artoonist Corine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I remember being in 7th grade - I won a local art contest. I showed my grandmother who was visiting (we never got to see her because she lived so far away) the blue ribbon and the painting. She took one tiny look and instantly said, "Oh you should see the art your cousin "Margaret" does!" and went on and on about "Margaret". That ruined any relationship I could have with that Grandmother 25 25points reply View more comments #12 I have a list.
I wish I [terminated my pregnancy]
I wish I put you up for adoption.
List all the bad things about dad and then immediately tell me I look/act just like him.
What did I do to deserve such a disrespectful child why couldn't I have a good one? (I was not a bad kid at all, always home, cleaning the house, cooking for her, good grades, people pleaser, etc.)
She wonders why I never talked to her about big things happening in my life, why I put 5,000 miles in-between us, and why I haven't returned home for almost 10 years. amt628 Report Final score: 126points POST Toni Lilly Toni Lilly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment has been deleted. 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments Meanwhile, the tone of your voice is also crucial as Susan said it's the setpoint for the conversation. "Do you want to have a discussion, or a fight? Stay calm. If you or your child is getting upset, take a break. 'I feel like I'm getting angry about this. Can we take a 10 minute break and finish the conversation when we're both calmer?'" Sometimes, it's a disciplinary issue that needs addressing, and in those cases, Susan suggests using the XYZ Limit Setting Statement. For example, "'When you do X, I feel Y, and I'd like Z.' For example: 'When you go out with your friends without permission, I get angry and anxious. I'd like you to tell me where you're going from now on.'" #13 I think probably the most toxic thing a parent can say to a child is any form of, 'Nobody will ever love you as much as I do' or 'I'm the only one who really loves you.' It's the psychological equivalent of a bear trap. Its purpose isn't just to hurt the kid, but to keep them from ever leaving. S_thyrsoidea Report Final score: 125points POST Thomas Stead Thomas Stead Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago my mum does this all the time 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 Any time your mom talks about how much she weighed when she was your age. 'When I was your age, I weighed 98 pounds.' sprucecone Report Final score: 113points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah! And so... 31 31points reply View more comments #15 In my experience, any time divorced parents say stuff like: 'Don't talk about that to your [other parent],' 'Tell your [other parent] this,' or 'Your [other parent] is trying to manipulate you.' It really screws with the kid's head. Loa_Ex_Machina Report Final score: 112points POST Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago My mums best friend was abused by her husband. At the end she managed to report him and they divorced but he manipulated the sons into believing that their mother was crazy abd they went to live with him. It broke her heart. It took them years to realise how terrible their father was and to go back to their mother. 51 51points reply View More Replies... View more comments At the same time, every parent should make sure to have consequences for bad behavior that fit the crime. Susan said that "you wouldn't ground your child for 2 weeks for not putting his plate in the dishwasher, and you wouldn't take his phone away for a day if he got caught shoplifting." #16 When I was 11 I overheard my mother telling someone that at least my looks meant she didn’t have to worry about me being [touched]. That [screwed] me up for years. M_Ad Report Final score: 103points POST JennyLaRue JennyLaRue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's horrendous 65 65points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 My mother told me when I was 8, that nobody likes a fat girl. I wasn't even really overweight. That and many other things she said and did made me develop an eating disorder...at the age of 8. More than 30 years later, and a lot more mental abuse, I still struggle with the whole eating thing. WhiteGirlGrooves Report Final score: 93points POST Scagsy Scagsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's hard enough dealing with the social media pressures without your mum chipping in and making things worse. I fear for young girls growing up right now with all the unrealistic standards set by 'influencers' and such. It must be so hard. 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 after i got accepted to my dream college my mom told me i’m too stupid to actually go and succeed. i graduated high school with honors. but i thought she was right. i dropped out before i even went. still regret it rad-butt Report Final score: 92points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It’s never too late you know. You can still do it now. 78 78points reply View More Replies... View more comments "Another great strategy for communicating with your children is to ask yourself, 'What effect will these words have in the long run? What will I teach my child by saying this?' Is what you're saying going to teach them that it's OK to shout at others? That they're 'bad'? Put yourself in their position. What are they experiencing?" According to the certified life coach, "children's reality is much different from what we experienced when we were that age," and if you're not sure, just ask! #19 I wish you were the one who [passed away] not your father. SchrecklichXy Report Final score: 89points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago God, that's incredibly hurtful. 26 26points reply View more comments #20 As your mother, I have to love you, but sometimes I really don’t like you. hissandrunaway Report Final score: 86points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Fortunately, I never had to go through this, but I feel bad for anyone who had to. 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 "I understand but I don't respect you" - My mother after I came out twice. Some people think that's not a big deal. It is huge and it f***ing hurts so much. Cookie_Wolfe Report Final score: 86points POST Thomas Stead Thomas Stead Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago yeah 11 11points reply View more comments We also talked to Kimberly Koljat, a licensed marriage and family therapist who said that "it is true adults often underestimate children's capability of understanding the world around them, which can even have a negative impact on children and their sense of self." Not only can parents deeply hurt them by choosing the wrong words to communicate themselves, but the way they look at their child can cause a sense that children's beliefs and thoughts are not to be trusted or that they're invalid. "It later creates difficulty in setting boundaries, making decisions, or maintaining a positive sense of self," said Kimberly. #22 "I'm glad that you're adopted it reminds me that you don't have my dna" "you're not a part of this family" and even in early years like 6 and 7 years old "you're not special. You are nothing and never will be something!" DrShoreRL Report Final score: 80points POST Nadine Debard Nadine Debard Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago OMG It's just so sad... Fortunately you don't have this DNA, cause it sucks. 76 76points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #23 I wish you were never born AmunPharaoh Report Final score: 79points POST Susan Green Susan Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What kind of parent would ever say that?? 29 29points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 My dad once told me he missed when I was a little kid, because back then I was dependent on him and couldn't say no.
I told that to a psychiatrist and her eyes damn near fell out of her face. ipakookapi Report Final score: 77points POST Jessica Aubé Jessica Aubé Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You ever parented a pre teen or teenager ??? Cause a lot of parents have those moments of wanting their babies back .. maybe not the best idea to share those thoughts but parents make mistakes and I am highly suspect of a psychiatrist who would be shocked by these emotions .. 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 "You're a useless disappointment" "Do you think you'll ever amount to anything?" "You're pathetic." "You're like a tiny little ant-- I could destroy you so easily." "I don't deserve you. I'm too good of a parent for you." "You're an abuser." 15083randomthoughts Report Final score: 72points POST Nadine Debard Nadine Debard Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Abusive parent. How hurtful. 24 24points reply View more comments #26 “We had you so you could donate organs/plasma etc to your sibling” like that film my sisters keeper. pjwy Report Final score: 67points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah, because nothing says 'I love you' better than telling someone that they are nothing but spare parts. 54 54points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 I never wanted to have kids with your dad. He forced me to have you. But_like_whytho Report Final score: 62points POST Steve Barnett Steve Barnett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Retort: "I never wanted to be born, but you went ahead and created me. Touché" 50 50points reply View more comments #28 my mum told me i deserved nothing in life because i forgot to do the dishes before she came home lol ilikechurch Report Final score: 61points POST Proud gold rose Proud gold rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Over dramatic parenttt 34 34points reply View more comments #29 "Look 'x' kid is doing it better than you"
"Look that kid is 'x' year old and they can do it" I-Am-The-Warlus Report Final score: 60points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, I got these too. I always hated it. 22 22points reply View more comments #30 "You're the reason why your dad and I almost divorced." 3_angels Report Final score: 59points POST Morna Bibbw Morna Bibbw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My dad told me I was the reason they got divorced. He was still telling me this last year before he died. I'm 52. 7 7points reply View more comments Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Justinas Keturka Justinas Keturka Author, BoredPanda staff Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. In his spare time, he creates graphic collages and even had his first artwork exhibition at "Devilstone". Read more » Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 30 Times Honest Kids Slam-Dunked Adults With Savage Roasts, As Shared In This Online Thread Ieva Pečiulytė Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers Denis Tymulis It’s Time For The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This June (40 Pics) Mantas Kačerauskas Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Leave a comment POST Konpat Konpat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Toxic parents are the number one reason for screwed up lifes. Worst of all, if you don't realize this and heal, there's a big chance you become such a parent yourself 39 39points reply Freya the Wanderer Freya the Wanderer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I could create an entire BP entry with all the s### my sadistic ogress of a mother said to me. Good thing my father was there to come to my rescue! I'm amazed they stuck together to the end. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too and I look at my step-father and wonder why the hell he stays. I know why I'm here, for medical reasons, but he could get out and be free. I think he stays to protect me and that makes me feel guilty. 2 2points reply Michaela Michaela Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t create the situation. 4 4points reply Helen Haley Helen Haley Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think child development/psychology should be taught starting late gradeschool through graduation. It would help everyone work through their stuff, and help future generations be better parents. 5 5points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yup that's why I don't want kids. I have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and I don't want to inflict any of that on an innocent kid. 1 1point reply Hannah Edwards Hannah Edwards Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick. 32 32points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A child's toughness is not a reflection of a parent's toughness, so I will sharpen the stick for you. I was on the wrong end of a father like that, and he was.... well, I got out, but it never left *me*, y'know? 11 11points reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband is being an insensitive jerk, but I recommend for your son’s sake trying a little diplomacy. Perhaps you can convince your husband to switch his messaging to, “I know you can get through because you’re tough, and I’m here for you.” 7 7points reply Chenandoa Chenandoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm prone to anxiety (like my mom), but I didnt know what that was until recently. I am more likely to get mad if I'm anxious. Toughen up? Yeah right...does your husband have any fears like needles? Tell him to tough up for that. Real men dont need to criticize others, and can handle emotions (or at least not criticize them at all) 3 3points reply Mimic Mimic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Unprofessional/unsolicited advice: I hope you two can have a conversation about what it means to be a man in today's society and how words like "toughen up" make anyone bury whatever feelings they are experiencing. You could also try mimicking, when/if your husband whines you could mirror his behavior so maybe he could see how those words aren't productive. I hope your son can work through his anxiety and bravo to you for recognizing it and trying to help. 1 1point reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband needs to quit being a tool. You can't make anxiety go away by telling someone to "toughen up." I would not be surprised if your husband is the root cause of your son's anxiety. Best thing you can do for your son is get him into therapy and away from your husband. 0 0points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I studied to become a vet, but failed. That was 14 years ago. Became a trainee in a library, got a job there and have been working there for 13 years now. To this day, my mother tells all her neighbours, friends etc. that I‘m a vet because she‘s so ashamed of me. 24 24points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!" 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Materyst Materyst Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing! 7 7points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not "nothing to be ashamed of". It's a great job. 1 1point reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome. 4 4points reply TheLazyPoki TheLazyPoki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :) 3 3points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you everyone for your support. I sincerely appreciate it. I assume my mother doesn’t really have a problem with me being a librarian but with me being 'too stupid' to succeed at my studies. I do love my job very much though. 2 2points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake. 2 2points reply ALM, BLM, Y'know. ALM, BLM, Y'know. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!! 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Konpat Konpat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Toxic parents are the number one reason for screwed up lifes. Worst of all, if you don't realize this and heal, there's a big chance you become such a parent yourself 39 39points reply Freya the Wanderer Freya the Wanderer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I could create an entire BP entry with all the s### my sadistic ogress of a mother said to me. Good thing my father was there to come to my rescue! I'm amazed they stuck together to the end. 9 9points reply Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal Bettie-Jean Neal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too and I look at my step-father and wonder why the hell he stays. I know why I'm here, for medical reasons, but he could get out and be free. I think he stays to protect me and that makes me feel guilty. 2 2points reply Michaela Michaela Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don’t feel guilty. You didn’t create the situation. 4 4points reply Helen Haley Helen Haley Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think child development/psychology should be taught starting late gradeschool through graduation. It would help everyone work through their stuff, and help future generations be better parents. 5 5points reply Gabby M Gabby M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yup that's why I don't want kids. I have a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and I don't want to inflict any of that on an innocent kid. 1 1point reply Hannah Edwards Hannah Edwards Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My 10 year old son is going through some anxiety issues at the moment. If my husband tells him to “Toughen up” one more time I think I might have to poke him with a pointy stick. 32 32points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your son shouldn't have to worry about whether or not his father will still love him. Your husband is a wimp if he can't handle someone else's anxiety. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago A child's toughness is not a reflection of a parent's toughness, so I will sharpen the stick for you. I was on the wrong end of a father like that, and he was.... well, I got out, but it never left *me*, y'know? 11 11points reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband is being an insensitive jerk, but I recommend for your son’s sake trying a little diplomacy. Perhaps you can convince your husband to switch his messaging to, “I know you can get through because you’re tough, and I’m here for you.” 7 7points reply Chenandoa Chenandoa Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm prone to anxiety (like my mom), but I didnt know what that was until recently. I am more likely to get mad if I'm anxious. Toughen up? Yeah right...does your husband have any fears like needles? Tell him to tough up for that. Real men dont need to criticize others, and can handle emotions (or at least not criticize them at all) 3 3points reply Mimic Mimic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Unprofessional/unsolicited advice: I hope you two can have a conversation about what it means to be a man in today's society and how words like "toughen up" make anyone bury whatever feelings they are experiencing. You could also try mimicking, when/if your husband whines you could mirror his behavior so maybe he could see how those words aren't productive. I hope your son can work through his anxiety and bravo to you for recognizing it and trying to help. 1 1point reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your husband needs to quit being a tool. You can't make anxiety go away by telling someone to "toughen up." I would not be surprised if your husband is the root cause of your son's anxiety. Best thing you can do for your son is get him into therapy and away from your husband. 0 0points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I studied to become a vet, but failed. That was 14 years ago. Became a trainee in a library, got a job there and have been working there for 13 years now. To this day, my mother tells all her neighbours, friends etc. that I‘m a vet because she‘s so ashamed of me. 24 24points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Respect! My husband is a reference librarian. I told him that archeologists found ancient tablets neatly lined up: "The world's first cataloguers!" 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Materyst Materyst Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm sorry to hear that. Being a librarian is nothing to be ashamed of. Librarians educate, and that is a great thing! 7 7points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not "nothing to be ashamed of". It's a great job. 1 1point reply Lunar Bicycle Lunar Bicycle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Your mom is an idiot. Librarians are awesome. 4 4points reply TheLazyPoki TheLazyPoki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Honestly, I want to become a librarian. I love books and quiet places, so I think that might be the right job for me :) 3 3points reply Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank you everyone for your support. I sincerely appreciate it. I assume my mother doesn’t really have a problem with me being a librarian but with me being 'too stupid' to succeed at my studies. I do love my job very much though. 2 2points reply Gin Marie Gin Marie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You're a librarian?? I'm retired military and if people valued people like you, I wouldn't have had that job. Librarians make veterinarians POSSIBLE, for pete's sake. 2 2points reply ALM, BLM, Y'know. ALM, BLM, Y'know. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I LOVE READING! D'you have any book recommendations (I quite like dystopian) bc I'm out of books. as @Viviane said, RESPECT!! 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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