30 Of The Cruelest Things Parents Have Ever Told Their Kids That Stuck With Them For Life
30 Of The Cruelest Things Parents Have Ever Told Their Kids That Stuck With Them For Life Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 30 Of The Cruelest Things Parents Have Ever Told Their Kids That Stuck With Them For Life Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 271points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter 661Kviews Parenting, Social Issues1 year ago
Rokas Laurinavičius
Publish Not your original work? Add source Some things we just cannot forget. Like harsh words from the people we want to impress most-our parents. On May 3rd, assistant professor at Stockton University Emily Van Duyne tweeted a question: "Does anyone else ever remember a cruel thing your parent said to you [and] it takes the wind out of you? Even if it was almost ten years ago?" Turns out, they do. Emily's tweet has received over 200,000 likes and plenty of comments where people revealed their parents' mean phrases that will probably stick with them for life, and the thread has become like a giant online mental health session. "I want you all to know I am sorting through and reading and thinking of and trying to respond individually to each of these stories," Van Duyne wrote as the responses kept pouring in. "I'm making pasta and reminding myself to be tender with my kids and tender with myself, as much as humanly possible, always. Please do the same." Continue scrolling and check out some of our hand-picked confessions. Sometimes, seeing other people vulnerable is all you need to uncover and deal with your own crap. This post may include affiliate links. #1 BrainRockets Report Final score: 452points POST Dash Blue Dash Blue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope that you shove your success in your fathers face, and never let him meet his grandchildren. Okay. A bit harsh. 172 172points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 Plumpdn Report Final score: 392points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Omg that is seriously twisted. Your mother is a sick woman 351 351points reply View More Replies... View more comments #3 Vivien_Jackson Report Final score: 338points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago How often have people said: You could be so pretty if you just lost the weight. 122 122points reply View More Replies... View more comments According to Jessie-Anne Bird, a psychologist from Johannesburg, South Africa, we can be deeply wounded by the words of others. "If we are not careful, we can react in a way that may escalate things unnecessarily," Bird told Bored Panda. Instead, the psychologist suggested we use the STOP technique, and it looks like this: S: Stop. Wait before you react. T: Take a step back - give yourself some time and space from the situation. O: Observe what's going on inside and outside. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, think about how they may be impacting your decision-making. P: Proceed mindfully - once you have an understanding of what is happening, and have thought through your options - then you will be in a position to make a choice about how to respond or react. #4 nada_lemming Report Final score: 293points POST crazy_cat_notAlady crazy_cat_notAlady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago yes. the opp happened to me though. dad was sick for years (cancer). did everything I could and I couldn't. dropped out of a Ph.D. program to get a stable job to support his treatment and family costs. waited for years to hear him say for once that he was proud of me. never said anything...now it's too late. sometimes I wonder if I would view my life and career choices differently had he been actually proud of me, or if he cared. 81 81points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 PurpleTurtleWat Report Final score: 288points POST crazy_cat_notAlady crazy_cat_notAlady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago hey. u r beautiful. words can b harsh, but they can never strip u off ur beauty. glad u have found a good therapist. hope u continue to see the beauty of life and ur beauty too 77 77points reply View More Replies... View more comments #6 MichelleEgan84 Report Final score: 285points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago God he is a sociopath. Hope you distanced yourself from him 207 207points reply View More Replies... View more comments Experts associate parent-child connectedness with a wide range of health indicators. Close, positive family relationships that feature open communication help young people stay healthy and avoid substance use and violent behavior. "We tend to use the perceptions of others to inform our self-view, and we might place more importance on the feedback we receive from those we value," Bird said. "When we hear hurtful things from those we love or esteem - they may hurt more because we are more likely to believe them." #7 maximiliidae Report Final score: 285points POST Black Pug Puppy Black Pug Puppy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Your parents didn't deserve you 246 246points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 fmnsthist89 Report Final score: 273points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's never too late 101 101points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 taylor_revert Report Final score: 271points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That is abuse, poor girl 148 148points reply View more comments Imi Lo, a psychotherapist, art therapist, and consultant for emotionally intense and highly sensitive people, thinks the relationship between a child and a parent is one of the most instinctively protective, loving, and nurturing things humans experience. So when such a connection is clouded with feelings of deep hurt and resentment, these negative emotions can follow people beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood. "At the end of the day, you want to be able to cross over the bridge of resentment and move to a place of peace," Lo wrote in Psychology Today. "But however cliche this sounds, you need first to love yourself, embracing both the good and the bad, your ability to love, and your rage towards others. You must forgive yourself for your inability to forgive. You are a survivor for being here today. You deserve to live without emotional baggage." If what you do grows into a deep sense of love for your parents, then the journey would have been worth it. If not, at least you know that you tried, and you will have no regrets. #10 WordPerv Report Final score: 246points POST Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Wow, brutal 52 52points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 thatskyfii Report Final score: 219points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Which means sadly you were :( 95 95points reply View More Replies... View more comments #12 K00KIED0UGH Report Final score: 215points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Have you noticed how parents will utter any stupidity because they can't manage their own stress and will take it out on their children because no one else is around to hear them rant? 83 83points reply View More Replies... View more comments #13 _FandomNeeds_ Report Final score: 210points POST Pusfarm Pusfarm Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These are not parents, they're terrorists. 153 153points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 JellyfishSando Report Final score: 206points POST Prilsy Prilsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's gaslighting and my father did it all the time to me. Still does and I'm almost 50. 125 125points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 bookkakes Report Final score: 202points POST Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Nothing like getting belittled to make you feel better, right? Ugh 120 120points reply View more comments #16 Renzo_Rebel Report Final score: 202points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh, s**t. I'm so sorry. 63 63points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #17 auntbooboo Report Final score: 190points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Some people should not be parents. 192 192points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #18 kenzie_connolly Report Final score: 176points POST CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) She’s 9 dad. She’s playing soccer which involves a lot of running (assuming she’s not the goalie) so back off! 101 101points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 thhsystem Report Final score: 171points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago People fail to realize that self-harming is a coping mechanism toward pain and anger. Mom made it worse by telling you should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that you were able to find the help you needed. 115 115points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 Sicarius001 Report Final score: 166points POST Tami Tami Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My mom is like this. She doesn't say she doesn't care, but she shows it by not showing interest and changing the subject. Meanwhile, she can blather on for 30-40 minutes about the toast she had for breakfast or how she sat out in the sun for awhile. 70 70points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 LannieStabile Report Final score: 164points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago When I was growing up, and even into my teens, family friends would say how pretty I was. My mother would say, "Nah, she's not." And, then start to list all my faults. I'd either walk away or stand there, rolling my eyes. So, yeah, I feel you. 80 80points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 heylexiwrites Report Final score: 155points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd need therapy if I had to go through that rubbish too. Of course, I had my own battles with my mother. 40 40points reply View more comments #23 Eternity24601 Report Final score: 153points POST Steve Barnett Steve Barnett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Aspergic. Demanding and yes, draining. 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 _potatofromhell Report Final score: 149points POST CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thankfully we wear masks now so we don’t have to look at the faces of ugly trolls like your mom 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 freestylwalking Report Final score: 148points POST Jaime Jaime Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ah, I do that too, because of my ADHD. I really hate it, sometimes I say things that make people uncomfortable because I didn’t think before I spoke. 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 icecubestepson Report Final score: 142points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep, I only know too well what sort of mom you have. 38 38points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 zambievibes Report Final score: 139points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Nagging for whatever reason never works. It only builds resentment. 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #28 Alehfred Report Final score: 129points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This isn't quite the same, but my mother told me that I had no patience for young children. She said this to me when I was 10 years old. I'm surprised that I turned out this well despite her negative attitude. 45 45points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 thebeerbitch Report Final score: 125points POST Hilary Rudd Hilary Rudd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don't let her put you off !! 78 78points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 zombietwinkie44 Report Final score: 119points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago No, your parents meant it. They just passed off the insults as jokes. 115 115points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 53 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add New Image Add Your Photo To This List Please use high-res photos without watermarks Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Author, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Share your thoughts POST Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children? 70 70points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago i see you have been offering virtual hugs to many people. may i offer you one now that i see you may be needing one ? 67 67points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it. 19 19points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago From a fellow badass survivor, *hugs* to you. I’m terrible at compliments. Always forget to say thank you, instead I deflect. I see you. :) 4 4points reply Mary Bank Mary Bank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I never ever understood how people can treat anyone like this let alone kids. 10 10points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It happens. Cycle of abuse and all that. I got hit a ton but would rather that than being sat down at 12 and told I was probably going to end up a whore bcuz I had a (innocent) boyfriend in middle school. That never leaves you. Just proud I stopped the cycle before it started w my son and I am the breadwinner of our family. My Dad is now broke and lonely. It all evens out. 4 4points reply Rench Rench Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was about to say the same thing. 2 2points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Watching: I know I just want to slap the stupid out of these people. The older I get, the more I am adamant that no one has the right to screw up the life of a child. 1 1point reply Fact Perils Fact Perils Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exhausted and stressed people who didn't fully think through the 24/7 job that is having kids. Doesn't excuse all of them, but still. 1 1point reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't understand why people like this would even have children. There are plenty of ways, and have been for a long time, to prevent it. I, personally, love kids. I wish I could have had more. And while I could find it tiring, for me, it was never a chore. My kids all still talk to me, and look to spend time with me, so I guess I did something right. Well, except for the "music truck" actually being the ice cream truck. Maybe that wasn't very nice. 0 0points reply Franc Esca Franc Esca Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clearly you grew up in a normal household. These sound like my family. And they're surprised when they're old and alone? 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, this is just. I don't even know what to say. I've never met anyone like this, and I'm glad I haven't, but jeez? Who talks to children this way? 0 0points reply Brandy Grote Brandy Grote Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy! 55 55points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hugs for you. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have a narcissistic mom too. I’m sorry. There’s no real fixing them, so you fix yourself and break the cycle and contact! Best thing ever huh? Like a weight off! *hugs* to you and CONGRATS for putting you first. 2 2points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Glad you were able to get free of that. 2 2points reply Mya Lugar Mya Lugar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank God you don't think like her. When you find yourself in a toxic situation, talk to a teacher, a preacher, any adult you have respect for., and leave the situation as soon as possible, sooner if it is physically abusive, 0 0points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up. 42 42points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are Never alone. I'm sending love. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago As a postscript, I did try to tell her again many years later when she asked me when I was ever going to settle down and give her some grandkids. She dismissed it and said I was ungrateful. The school had cost them a lot of money and I was wasting the advantages an expensive education had given me. I was a senior manager at a blue chip company earning decent money and supporting myself, but apparently I should have used my social connections, deportment and etiquette classes to marry well instead. 20 20points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Never apologize for being a strong independent educated woman. 19 19points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) your life !! your choices !! don't ever let anybody tell you how to live your life. as a dad there are only 2 things i ask my kids : do your best to be decent respectable people. and be happy ! no matter what their job will be, where they live, who they love what ther body haircut or clothes look like. kids are not any parents' property. you are now a strong independant woman. i don't know you but i am proud of you. and no !! you're not responsible for any of your parents choices decisions failures mistakes ... you have value !!! there is only one you on earth. you are unique. 8 8points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Thank you. I know my story doesn’t compare to the horrific time some others had, but I guess this isn’t a competition to see who was treated the worst. I wanted to make the point that parents don’t have to be drug addicts or abusers to cause lifelong damage. I had a privileged upbringing in many people’s eyes, but a casual off the cuff comment can still cause psychological issues for years afterwards no matter what your background is. 6 6points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You don't even have to be a senior manager to deserve love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself. You are worthy. 3 3points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Senior manager at a blue chip company? I'm impressed! Your parents' marriage is their problem, not yours. By the way, if anyone can recommend a good therapist, go for it. Mine helped me dump a lot of emotional baggage. Personal research helped as well - "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge gave me a lot of hope. 3 3points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) there is absolutely no graduation possible when we talk about suffering. some events acts or words may look kinda small to some people but if you are hurt then it's a big deal. don't let anybody tell you what you feel doesn't matter. it does !! i really wish you the best. you deserve it !! 2 2points reply Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Isn't that the truth. I hear you loud and clear. 0 0points reply Katharine Lancaster Katharine Lancaster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. I went through similar, just not over where I went to school. And then my parents split up. My mom blamed me for the divorce, spewing venom at me about it for the next 15 years, until she committed suicide. Then the final kicker, her last note to me blamed me for the suicide. 8 8points reply Natalie Natalie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no words. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 3 3points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. You have all of your fellow pandas. We will never turn you away. 4 4points reply Elizabeth Calvert Elizabeth Calvert Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh honey huge hugs!!!! You are not alone and you are loved. We are cheering for you 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children? 70 70points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago i see you have been offering virtual hugs to many people. may i offer you one now that i see you may be needing one ? 67 67points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it. 19 19points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago From a fellow badass survivor, *hugs* to you. I’m terrible at compliments. Always forget to say thank you, instead I deflect. I see you. :) 4 4points reply Mary Bank Mary Bank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I never ever understood how people can treat anyone like this let alone kids. 10 10points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It happens. Cycle of abuse and all that. I got hit a ton but would rather that than being sat down at 12 and told I was probably going to end up a whore bcuz I had a (innocent) boyfriend in middle school. That never leaves you. Just proud I stopped the cycle before it started w my son and I am the breadwinner of our family. My Dad is now broke and lonely. It all evens out. 4 4points reply Rench Rench Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was about to say the same thing. 2 2points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Watching: I know I just want to slap the stupid out of these people. The older I get, the more I am adamant that no one has the right to screw up the life of a child. 1 1point reply Fact Perils Fact Perils Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exhausted and stressed people who didn't fully think through the 24/7 job that is having kids. Doesn't excuse all of them, but still. 1 1point reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't understand why people like this would even have children. There are plenty of ways, and have been for a long time, to prevent it. I, personally, love kids. I wish I could have had more. And while I could find it tiring, for me, it was never a chore. My kids all still talk to me, and look to spend time with me, so I guess I did something right. Well, except for the "music truck" actually being the ice cream truck. Maybe that wasn't very nice. 0 0points reply Franc Esca Franc Esca Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clearly you grew up in a normal household. These sound like my family. And they're surprised when they're old and alone? 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, this is just. I don't even know what to say. I've never met anyone like this, and I'm glad I haven't, but jeez? Who talks to children this way? 0 0points reply Brandy Grote Brandy Grote Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy! 55 55points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hugs for you. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have a narcissistic mom too. I’m sorry. There’s no real fixing them, so you fix yourself and break the cycle and contact! Best thing ever huh? Like a weight off! *hugs* to you and CONGRATS for putting you first. 2 2points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Glad you were able to get free of that. 2 2points reply Mya Lugar Mya Lugar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank God you don't think like her. When you find yourself in a toxic situation, talk to a teacher, a preacher, any adult you have respect for., and leave the situation as soon as possible, sooner if it is physically abusive, 0 0points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up. 42 42points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are Never alone. I'm sending love. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago As a postscript, I did try to tell her again many years later when she asked me when I was ever going to settle down and give her some grandkids. She dismissed it and said I was ungrateful. The school had cost them a lot of money and I was wasting the advantages an expensive education had given me. I was a senior manager at a blue chip company earning decent money and supporting myself, but apparently I should have used my social connections, deportment and etiquette classes to marry well instead. 20 20points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Never apologize for being a strong independent educated woman. 19 19points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) your life !! your choices !! don't ever let anybody tell you how to live your life. as a dad there are only 2 things i ask my kids : do your best to be decent respectable people. and be happy ! no matter what their job will be, where they live, who they love what ther body haircut or clothes look like. kids are not any parents' property. you are now a strong independant woman. i don't know you but i am proud of you. and no !! you're not responsible for any of your parents choices decisions failures mistakes ... you have value !!! there is only one you on earth. you are unique. 8 8points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Thank you. I know my story doesn’t compare to the horrific time some others had, but I guess this isn’t a competition to see who was treated the worst. I wanted to make the point that parents don’t have to be drug addicts or abusers to cause lifelong damage. I had a privileged upbringing in many people’s eyes, but a casual off the cuff comment can still cause psychological issues for years afterwards no matter what your background is. 6 6points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You don't even have to be a senior manager to deserve love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself. You are worthy. 3 3points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Senior manager at a blue chip company? I'm impressed! Your parents' marriage is their problem, not yours. By the way, if anyone can recommend a good therapist, go for it. Mine helped me dump a lot of emotional baggage. Personal research helped as well - "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge gave me a lot of hope. 3 3points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) there is absolutely no graduation possible when we talk about suffering. some events acts or words may look kinda small to some people but if you are hurt then it's a big deal. don't let anybody tell you what you feel doesn't matter. it does !! i really wish you the best. you deserve it !! 2 2points reply Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Isn't that the truth. I hear you loud and clear. 0 0points reply Katharine Lancaster Katharine Lancaster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. I went through similar, just not over where I went to school. And then my parents split up. My mom blamed me for the divorce, spewing venom at me about it for the next 15 years, until she committed suicide. Then the final kicker, her last note to me blamed me for the suicide. 8 8points reply Natalie Natalie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no words. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 3 3points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. You have all of your fellow pandas. We will never turn you away. 4 4points reply Elizabeth Calvert Elizabeth Calvert Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh honey huge hugs!!!! You are not alone and you are loved. We are cheering for you 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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30 Of The Cruelest Things Parents Have Ever Told Their Kids That Stuck With Them For Life
661Kviews Denis Tymulis andRokas Laurinavičius
Publish Not your original work? Add source Some things we just cannot forget. Like harsh words from the people we want to impress most-our parents. On May 3rd, assistant professor at Stockton University Emily Van Duyne tweeted a question: "Does anyone else ever remember a cruel thing your parent said to you [and] it takes the wind out of you? Even if it was almost ten years ago?" Turns out, they do. Emily's tweet has received over 200,000 likes and plenty of comments where people revealed their parents' mean phrases that will probably stick with them for life, and the thread has become like a giant online mental health session. "I want you all to know I am sorting through and reading and thinking of and trying to respond individually to each of these stories," Van Duyne wrote as the responses kept pouring in. "I'm making pasta and reminding myself to be tender with my kids and tender with myself, as much as humanly possible, always. Please do the same." Continue scrolling and check out some of our hand-picked confessions. Sometimes, seeing other people vulnerable is all you need to uncover and deal with your own crap. This post may include affiliate links. #1 BrainRockets Report Final score: 452points POST Dash Blue Dash Blue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope that you shove your success in your fathers face, and never let him meet his grandchildren. Okay. A bit harsh. 172 172points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 Plumpdn Report Final score: 392points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Omg that is seriously twisted. Your mother is a sick woman 351 351points reply View More Replies... View more comments #3 Vivien_Jackson Report Final score: 338points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago How often have people said: You could be so pretty if you just lost the weight. 122 122points reply View More Replies... View more comments According to Jessie-Anne Bird, a psychologist from Johannesburg, South Africa, we can be deeply wounded by the words of others. "If we are not careful, we can react in a way that may escalate things unnecessarily," Bird told Bored Panda. Instead, the psychologist suggested we use the STOP technique, and it looks like this: S: Stop. Wait before you react. T: Take a step back - give yourself some time and space from the situation. O: Observe what's going on inside and outside. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, think about how they may be impacting your decision-making. P: Proceed mindfully - once you have an understanding of what is happening, and have thought through your options - then you will be in a position to make a choice about how to respond or react. #4 nada_lemming Report Final score: 293points POST crazy_cat_notAlady crazy_cat_notAlady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago yes. the opp happened to me though. dad was sick for years (cancer). did everything I could and I couldn't. dropped out of a Ph.D. program to get a stable job to support his treatment and family costs. waited for years to hear him say for once that he was proud of me. never said anything...now it's too late. sometimes I wonder if I would view my life and career choices differently had he been actually proud of me, or if he cared. 81 81points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 PurpleTurtleWat Report Final score: 288points POST crazy_cat_notAlady crazy_cat_notAlady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago hey. u r beautiful. words can b harsh, but they can never strip u off ur beauty. glad u have found a good therapist. hope u continue to see the beauty of life and ur beauty too 77 77points reply View More Replies... View more comments #6 MichelleEgan84 Report Final score: 285points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago God he is a sociopath. Hope you distanced yourself from him 207 207points reply View More Replies... View more comments Experts associate parent-child connectedness with a wide range of health indicators. Close, positive family relationships that feature open communication help young people stay healthy and avoid substance use and violent behavior. "We tend to use the perceptions of others to inform our self-view, and we might place more importance on the feedback we receive from those we value," Bird said. "When we hear hurtful things from those we love or esteem - they may hurt more because we are more likely to believe them." #7 maximiliidae Report Final score: 285points POST Black Pug Puppy Black Pug Puppy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Your parents didn't deserve you 246 246points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 fmnsthist89 Report Final score: 273points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's never too late 101 101points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 taylor_revert Report Final score: 271points POST Nice cuppa tea Nice cuppa tea Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That is abuse, poor girl 148 148points reply View more comments Imi Lo, a psychotherapist, art therapist, and consultant for emotionally intense and highly sensitive people, thinks the relationship between a child and a parent is one of the most instinctively protective, loving, and nurturing things humans experience. So when such a connection is clouded with feelings of deep hurt and resentment, these negative emotions can follow people beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood. "At the end of the day, you want to be able to cross over the bridge of resentment and move to a place of peace," Lo wrote in Psychology Today. "But however cliche this sounds, you need first to love yourself, embracing both the good and the bad, your ability to love, and your rage towards others. You must forgive yourself for your inability to forgive. You are a survivor for being here today. You deserve to live without emotional baggage." If what you do grows into a deep sense of love for your parents, then the journey would have been worth it. If not, at least you know that you tried, and you will have no regrets. #10 WordPerv Report Final score: 246points POST Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Wow, brutal 52 52points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 thatskyfii Report Final score: 219points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Which means sadly you were :( 95 95points reply View More Replies... View more comments #12 K00KIED0UGH Report Final score: 215points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Have you noticed how parents will utter any stupidity because they can't manage their own stress and will take it out on their children because no one else is around to hear them rant? 83 83points reply View More Replies... View more comments #13 _FandomNeeds_ Report Final score: 210points POST Pusfarm Pusfarm Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These are not parents, they're terrorists. 153 153points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 JellyfishSando Report Final score: 206points POST Prilsy Prilsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's gaslighting and my father did it all the time to me. Still does and I'm almost 50. 125 125points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 bookkakes Report Final score: 202points POST Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Nothing like getting belittled to make you feel better, right? Ugh 120 120points reply View more comments #16 Renzo_Rebel Report Final score: 202points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh, s**t. I'm so sorry. 63 63points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #17 auntbooboo Report Final score: 190points POST James016 James016 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Some people should not be parents. 192 192points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #18 kenzie_connolly Report Final score: 176points POST CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) She’s 9 dad. She’s playing soccer which involves a lot of running (assuming she’s not the goalie) so back off! 101 101points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 thhsystem Report Final score: 171points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago People fail to realize that self-harming is a coping mechanism toward pain and anger. Mom made it worse by telling you should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that you were able to find the help you needed. 115 115points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 Sicarius001 Report Final score: 166points POST Tami Tami Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My mom is like this. She doesn't say she doesn't care, but she shows it by not showing interest and changing the subject. Meanwhile, she can blather on for 30-40 minutes about the toast she had for breakfast or how she sat out in the sun for awhile. 70 70points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 LannieStabile Report Final score: 164points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago When I was growing up, and even into my teens, family friends would say how pretty I was. My mother would say, "Nah, she's not." And, then start to list all my faults. I'd either walk away or stand there, rolling my eyes. So, yeah, I feel you. 80 80points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 heylexiwrites Report Final score: 155points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd need therapy if I had to go through that rubbish too. Of course, I had my own battles with my mother. 40 40points reply View more comments #23 Eternity24601 Report Final score: 153points POST Steve Barnett Steve Barnett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Aspergic. Demanding and yes, draining. 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 _potatofromhell Report Final score: 149points POST CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thankfully we wear masks now so we don’t have to look at the faces of ugly trolls like your mom 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 freestylwalking Report Final score: 148points POST Jaime Jaime Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ah, I do that too, because of my ADHD. I really hate it, sometimes I say things that make people uncomfortable because I didn’t think before I spoke. 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 icecubestepson Report Final score: 142points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep, I only know too well what sort of mom you have. 38 38points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 zambievibes Report Final score: 139points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Nagging for whatever reason never works. It only builds resentment. 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #28 Alehfred Report Final score: 129points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This isn't quite the same, but my mother told me that I had no patience for young children. She said this to me when I was 10 years old. I'm surprised that I turned out this well despite her negative attitude. 45 45points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 thebeerbitch Report Final score: 125points POST Hilary Rudd Hilary Rudd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Don't let her put you off !! 78 78points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 zombietwinkie44 Report Final score: 119points POST Raine Soo Raine Soo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago No, your parents meant it. They just passed off the insults as jokes. 115 115points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 53 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add New Image Add Your Photo To This List Please use high-res photos without watermarks Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Author, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Share your thoughts POST Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children? 70 70points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago i see you have been offering virtual hugs to many people. may i offer you one now that i see you may be needing one ? 67 67points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it. 19 19points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago From a fellow badass survivor, *hugs* to you. I’m terrible at compliments. Always forget to say thank you, instead I deflect. I see you. :) 4 4points reply Mary Bank Mary Bank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I never ever understood how people can treat anyone like this let alone kids. 10 10points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It happens. Cycle of abuse and all that. I got hit a ton but would rather that than being sat down at 12 and told I was probably going to end up a whore bcuz I had a (innocent) boyfriend in middle school. That never leaves you. Just proud I stopped the cycle before it started w my son and I am the breadwinner of our family. My Dad is now broke and lonely. It all evens out. 4 4points reply Rench Rench Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was about to say the same thing. 2 2points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Watching: I know I just want to slap the stupid out of these people. The older I get, the more I am adamant that no one has the right to screw up the life of a child. 1 1point reply Fact Perils Fact Perils Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exhausted and stressed people who didn't fully think through the 24/7 job that is having kids. Doesn't excuse all of them, but still. 1 1point reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't understand why people like this would even have children. There are plenty of ways, and have been for a long time, to prevent it. I, personally, love kids. I wish I could have had more. And while I could find it tiring, for me, it was never a chore. My kids all still talk to me, and look to spend time with me, so I guess I did something right. Well, except for the "music truck" actually being the ice cream truck. Maybe that wasn't very nice. 0 0points reply Franc Esca Franc Esca Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clearly you grew up in a normal household. These sound like my family. And they're surprised when they're old and alone? 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, this is just. I don't even know what to say. I've never met anyone like this, and I'm glad I haven't, but jeez? Who talks to children this way? 0 0points reply Brandy Grote Brandy Grote Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy! 55 55points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hugs for you. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have a narcissistic mom too. I’m sorry. There’s no real fixing them, so you fix yourself and break the cycle and contact! Best thing ever huh? Like a weight off! *hugs* to you and CONGRATS for putting you first. 2 2points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Glad you were able to get free of that. 2 2points reply Mya Lugar Mya Lugar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank God you don't think like her. When you find yourself in a toxic situation, talk to a teacher, a preacher, any adult you have respect for., and leave the situation as soon as possible, sooner if it is physically abusive, 0 0points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up. 42 42points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are Never alone. I'm sending love. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago As a postscript, I did try to tell her again many years later when she asked me when I was ever going to settle down and give her some grandkids. She dismissed it and said I was ungrateful. The school had cost them a lot of money and I was wasting the advantages an expensive education had given me. I was a senior manager at a blue chip company earning decent money and supporting myself, but apparently I should have used my social connections, deportment and etiquette classes to marry well instead. 20 20points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Never apologize for being a strong independent educated woman. 19 19points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) your life !! your choices !! don't ever let anybody tell you how to live your life. as a dad there are only 2 things i ask my kids : do your best to be decent respectable people. and be happy ! no matter what their job will be, where they live, who they love what ther body haircut or clothes look like. kids are not any parents' property. you are now a strong independant woman. i don't know you but i am proud of you. and no !! you're not responsible for any of your parents choices decisions failures mistakes ... you have value !!! there is only one you on earth. you are unique. 8 8points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Thank you. I know my story doesn’t compare to the horrific time some others had, but I guess this isn’t a competition to see who was treated the worst. I wanted to make the point that parents don’t have to be drug addicts or abusers to cause lifelong damage. I had a privileged upbringing in many people’s eyes, but a casual off the cuff comment can still cause psychological issues for years afterwards no matter what your background is. 6 6points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You don't even have to be a senior manager to deserve love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself. You are worthy. 3 3points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Senior manager at a blue chip company? I'm impressed! Your parents' marriage is their problem, not yours. By the way, if anyone can recommend a good therapist, go for it. Mine helped me dump a lot of emotional baggage. Personal research helped as well - "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge gave me a lot of hope. 3 3points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) there is absolutely no graduation possible when we talk about suffering. some events acts or words may look kinda small to some people but if you are hurt then it's a big deal. don't let anybody tell you what you feel doesn't matter. it does !! i really wish you the best. you deserve it !! 2 2points reply Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Isn't that the truth. I hear you loud and clear. 0 0points reply Katharine Lancaster Katharine Lancaster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. I went through similar, just not over where I went to school. And then my parents split up. My mom blamed me for the divorce, spewing venom at me about it for the next 15 years, until she committed suicide. Then the final kicker, her last note to me blamed me for the suicide. 8 8points reply Natalie Natalie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no words. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 3 3points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. You have all of your fellow pandas. We will never turn you away. 4 4points reply Elizabeth Calvert Elizabeth Calvert Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh honey huge hugs!!!! You are not alone and you are loved. We are cheering for you 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children? 70 70points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago i see you have been offering virtual hugs to many people. may i offer you one now that i see you may be needing one ? 67 67points reply Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it. 19 19points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago From a fellow badass survivor, *hugs* to you. I’m terrible at compliments. Always forget to say thank you, instead I deflect. I see you. :) 4 4points reply Mary Bank Mary Bank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I never ever understood how people can treat anyone like this let alone kids. 10 10points reply Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It happens. Cycle of abuse and all that. I got hit a ton but would rather that than being sat down at 12 and told I was probably going to end up a whore bcuz I had a (innocent) boyfriend in middle school. That never leaves you. Just proud I stopped the cycle before it started w my son and I am the breadwinner of our family. My Dad is now broke and lonely. It all evens out. 4 4points reply Rench Rench Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I was about to say the same thing. 2 2points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Watching: I know I just want to slap the stupid out of these people. The older I get, the more I am adamant that no one has the right to screw up the life of a child. 1 1point reply Fact Perils Fact Perils Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Exhausted and stressed people who didn't fully think through the 24/7 job that is having kids. Doesn't excuse all of them, but still. 1 1point reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't understand why people like this would even have children. There are plenty of ways, and have been for a long time, to prevent it. I, personally, love kids. I wish I could have had more. And while I could find it tiring, for me, it was never a chore. My kids all still talk to me, and look to spend time with me, so I guess I did something right. Well, except for the "music truck" actually being the ice cream truck. Maybe that wasn't very nice. 0 0points reply Franc Esca Franc Esca Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clearly you grew up in a normal household. These sound like my family. And they're surprised when they're old and alone? 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, this is just. I don't even know what to say. I've never met anyone like this, and I'm glad I haven't, but jeez? Who talks to children this way? 0 0points reply Brandy Grote Brandy Grote Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy! 55 55points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Hugs for you. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Lotus Flower Lotus Flower Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have a narcissistic mom too. I’m sorry. There’s no real fixing them, so you fix yourself and break the cycle and contact! Best thing ever huh? Like a weight off! *hugs* to you and CONGRATS for putting you first. 2 2points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Glad you were able to get free of that. 2 2points reply Mya Lugar Mya Lugar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Thank God you don't think like her. When you find yourself in a toxic situation, talk to a teacher, a preacher, any adult you have respect for., and leave the situation as soon as possible, sooner if it is physically abusive, 0 0points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up. 42 42points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are Never alone. I'm sending love. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago As a postscript, I did try to tell her again many years later when she asked me when I was ever going to settle down and give her some grandkids. She dismissed it and said I was ungrateful. The school had cost them a lot of money and I was wasting the advantages an expensive education had given me. I was a senior manager at a blue chip company earning decent money and supporting myself, but apparently I should have used my social connections, deportment and etiquette classes to marry well instead. 20 20points reply Watching Watching Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Never apologize for being a strong independent educated woman. 19 19points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) your life !! your choices !! don't ever let anybody tell you how to live your life. as a dad there are only 2 things i ask my kids : do your best to be decent respectable people. and be happy ! no matter what their job will be, where they live, who they love what ther body haircut or clothes look like. kids are not any parents' property. you are now a strong independant woman. i don't know you but i am proud of you. and no !! you're not responsible for any of your parents choices decisions failures mistakes ... you have value !!! there is only one you on earth. you are unique. 8 8points reply Kharyss Kharyss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Thank you. I know my story doesn’t compare to the horrific time some others had, but I guess this isn’t a competition to see who was treated the worst. I wanted to make the point that parents don’t have to be drug addicts or abusers to cause lifelong damage. I had a privileged upbringing in many people’s eyes, but a casual off the cuff comment can still cause psychological issues for years afterwards no matter what your background is. 6 6points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You don't even have to be a senior manager to deserve love. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself. You are worthy. 3 3points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Senior manager at a blue chip company? I'm impressed! Your parents' marriage is their problem, not yours. By the way, if anyone can recommend a good therapist, go for it. Mine helped me dump a lot of emotional baggage. Personal research helped as well - "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge gave me a lot of hope. 3 3points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) there is absolutely no graduation possible when we talk about suffering. some events acts or words may look kinda small to some people but if you are hurt then it's a big deal. don't let anybody tell you what you feel doesn't matter. it does !! i really wish you the best. you deserve it !! 2 2points reply Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Isn't that the truth. I hear you loud and clear. 0 0points reply Katharine Lancaster Katharine Lancaster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. I went through similar, just not over where I went to school. And then my parents split up. My mom blamed me for the divorce, spewing venom at me about it for the next 15 years, until she committed suicide. Then the final kicker, her last note to me blamed me for the suicide. 8 8points reply Natalie Natalie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no words. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. 3 3points reply deanna woods deanna woods Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You are not alone. You have all of your fellow pandas. We will never turn you away. 4 4points reply Elizabeth Calvert Elizabeth Calvert Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh honey huge hugs!!!! You are not alone and you are loved. We are cheering for you 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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