What Men Think Women Find Attractive VS. The Reality Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda TikToker Explains What Men Think Women Find Attractive VS. What They Actually Find Attractive, Goes Viral With 6M Views Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 97points 1.1K People, Relationships1 year ago
TikToker Explains What Men Think Women Find Attractive VS What They Actually Find Attractive Goes Viral With 6M Views Interview
Konstancija Gasaitytė and
Robertas Lisickis
It's no secret that we try to look our best not only in real life but also on social media. By sharing different places we travel, interesting things we are doing, and most importantly, the best way we look, we create a fantasy for ourselves and others that life is perfect and it couldn't be any other way. Even though, it is an open secret that hardly anyone lives like that. There's always been this battle between appearance and personality, and recent times showed that this battle became fiercer. It might seem that we live in a kingdom of distorting mirrors, but a recent video found on TikTok showed some interesting facts about people and how they "assess" each other. More Info: TikTok It seems that men and women perceive attractiveness differently which may lead to miscommunication between the two
Image credits: Giuseppe Milo She explained that the reason why he was less interesting when he was "super fit" is that he was giving "the male power fantasy". That is when men look how they think that women want them to look instead of what women actually find attractive. She continued by stating that men are the ones who care about aesthetics and appearances more than females do, hence the miscommunication happens when men put a lot of effort into looking good when women don't find this necessary. TikTok user posed a question not knowing why he wasn t seen as more attractive when he was more sporty
Image credits: torres.alejandro She explained that the reason why he was less interesting when he was "super fit" is that he was giving "the male power fantasy". That is when men look how they think that women want them to look instead of what women actually find attractive. She continued by stating that men are the ones who care about aesthetics and appearances more than females do, hence the miscommunication happens when men put a lot of effort into looking good when women don't find this necessary. Image credits: torres.alejandro Bored Panda contacted the TikToker @the.claire.b***h.project and asked her a few questions on the matter. When asked whether she was surprised to see that her video got so much attention, Claire told that she didn't expect it to become viral and explained a possible reason for this to happen. She first hesitated to post the video, but the idea that most of her followers were women made her think that females TikTok users will agree with her. By stating this, Claire touched on another important point of how being in "the bubble" with people who are interested in the same things and share the same values makes us think that everyone is like that. The girl continues to tell how she felt after the video was released and the bubble was popped: "I will be honest, it sort of made me upset because I'd previously been in a bubble on TikTok with people I liked and who are knowledgeable about the same things as me, so to suddenly have an influx of people who felt that my studies and my knowledge actually discredited me to speak on a topic made me pretty angry. It amazed me the amount of men who wrote me off simply because I had studied Gender Studies, and I think that speaks to misogyny on the internet". Another TikTok user gladly explained the situation by using her knowledge from gender studies talking about the female gaze
Image credits: the.claire.b***h.project So whether the key to understanding each other better lies in knowing more about concepts such as "the female gaze"? Claire explained that people misinterpreted the video by thinking that "the female gaze" is related to attraction and dating, "when really it's about the way women see the world as a whole". She also continued by saying that "allowing yourself to see the world through someone else's eyes helps you gain empathy for that person, and I think a lot of men lack empathy and understanding of how women see the world". Image credits: the.claire.b***h.project At the very beginning of this article, we talked about how social media changed the way we present ourselves. We asked Claire whether she thinks that social media has an impact on the whole male/female attractiveness to which she answered first explaining "the internalized male gaze" – that is when women start to "identify" with the sexualized and objectified version of themselves presented in media and also live up to the expectations of the "right" man. She notices that "with the rise of social media, this internal need to perform is happening in all genders, not just women. So in a sense, everyone now feels like they have to be aware of how they're presented at all times." Image credits: the.claire.b***h.project We were curious whether there are any tips on how to present yourself on social media knowing how it is related to the way people see each other and knowing the fact how much time we spent there creating these "portfolios" of our lives. According to Claire, this is not what is important in this case. What she agrees to is that we should stop relying on what other people expect from us. Women are not only attractive as men are not only strong. In the end, the girl stated: "I want everyone to feel free to just be themselves as they are and however that ends up presenting is the best way to present oneself". Image credits: the.claire.b***h.project The post that got 946.5k likes and 19.3 shares cover a few terms that relate to gender studies. What is then "the female gaze"? It all started with a concept of "the male gaze" that was created by British feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey who stated that in cinema context women are seen by men as an object of desire. So the opposite should cover the term of the female gaze? Well not exactly. While "the male gaze" is seen as a norm, showing everything from their perspective and making them the main character, "the female gaze" depicts what women feel and experience. It's interesting to see how many movie plots are created according to "the male gaze": Transformers, Iron Man 2, Suicide Squad, and many more. Not without reason, it's said that movies reflect real life, and "the female gaze" helps to make it even more real and full of emotions. Do you know any good real-life / movie plot examples of "the female gaze" theory? Feel free to share it in the comments down below! You can check the full video down bellow
@the.claire.bitch.project#stitch with @torres.alejandro Female Gaze vid: @ms.eggy #genderstudies #malegaze #femalegaze #feminism #feminist #patriarchy♬ original sound – 🌈 Claire 🌈 TikTok users showed their interest in the comments while sharing their own remarks as well as experiences
Hygiene stands above it all
Netlix and&hellip gaze
What s so funny about gender studies one might ask
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Konstancija Gasaitytė Konstancija Gasaitytė Writer, BoredPanda staff Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Read more » Robertas Lisickis Follow Unfollow Robertas Lisickis Writer, BoredPanda staff Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and content creator. After his studies at LCC International University, where he got a BA in English Language and Literature, Robertas went on to do freelance teaching, translation, and copywriting work, primarily specializing in IT. He spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked up by Bored Panda. Whenever there’s free time, he spends it playing Gwent, or hosting Dungeons & Dragons sessions for his mostly chaotic neutral team. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 40 Things Men Didn't Know About Women Until They Got Into A Relationship Mindaugas Balčiauskas 30 Examples Of ‘Nice Guys’ Exposing Their True Colors Mantas Kačerauskas "I'm Just So Tired. Why Are Men Like This?": Men Working In This Restaurant Lose Their Minds After New Waitress Is Hired Mantas Kačerauskas Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Leave a comment POST Marylen Marylen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) I love attractive men... But I also love a 'non--douchy' attractive man. The problem for me would not be his look as he was before. If his only picture was the one hiking, it would be great. However, he doesn't smile in the two other pictures and doesn't seem to have a good personality. Give me muscles AND personality! :-) 39 39points reply Katchen Katchen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, his facial expressions in his fit pictures makes him look unapproachable. 18 18points reply Load More Replies... Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If you start by saying you're attracted to attractive men, that's not really saying much? -2 -2points reply Thorfin Wolfsbane Thorfin Wolfsbane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago so, basically, hE ShOuLD SmIlE mORe!!!! -2 -2points reply Nora AlMeida Nora AlMeida Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @‘Thorfin Wolfsbane’— what a creepy and predatory response. If a woman or a girl smiled, a sick immature male might wrongfully assume she likes him and start harassing her, then calling her derogatory names or in some cases, he would actually assault or stalk her once he realized that her smile was only meant to be a smile, and nothing more; she’s not interested in him. So, it is actually good for women and girls NOT to smile at males. When a guy is smiling, not all smiles are created equal. Plenty of r*pists smile in an arrogant manner. So, no, it is not about him smiling more; it is about him having a demeanor that is civil and kind, that can make him attractive to a number of girls or women. And that can include him having a kind smile, but not necessarily. 1 1point reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clean and well groomed is always sexy. One of the sexiest men I ever met was a coworker who really wasn't attractive in the conventional sense at all. But he was well groomed and well dressed and funny as all get out. 28 28points reply Jessica Aubé Jessica Aubé Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Mewton isn’t entirely wrong Saying most woman may be incorrect but plenty of woman prefer what mewton is describing .. I sure do .. a well groomed well dressed man is a huge turn off for me .. it comes across as high maintenance.. I want a man who can go camping and hiking with me , who will help around the house and play with our kids .. a beard is hot .. a pretty boy isnt .. to me .. now if his hygiene is bad I’m out .. brush your teeth and don’t smell bad .. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Glirpy Glirpy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I’m a guy, but I can tell you that two of the things you mentioned are completely irrelevant. If a man is just funny, they will get any woman they want. Well groomed and well dressed aside. -6 -6points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I don’t really care about clean and well groomed. I don’t think most women do. A guy can be literally dirty, sweaty and unshaved and be leagues hotter than some ugly guy with a fresh haircut. -27 -27points reply Yelena Yardeen Yelena Yardeen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think you're alone on this one. Dirty and ungroomed is universally unattractive 27 27points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Dont bother. This user is just a disgusting troll 4 4points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I think you don’t have a sense of what’s being discussed or what’s common. A sweaty, workin’ man who is rugged and works with his hands is almost the set standard for what’s attractive. In pop culture, firemen and mechanics and such are depicted as beautiful, while clean and careful men who work desk jobs are painted as undesirable. Dirty and ungroomed are used to display male beauty more often than the opposite. Also cleanliness doesn’t impact facial beauty or body shape, the main measures of physical appearance. -12 -12points reply Yelena Yardeen Yelena Yardeen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Lol. I have a sense of what is being discussed. You seem a bit delusional. 7 7points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) This comment is hidden. Click here to view. No I don’t. I’m not the one pretending to laugh out loud. It’s just that you’re upset that I disagreed with you and don’t know what else to say about it. If you had a sense of what’s being discussed, you wouldn’t be so combative. It’s just a fact that a rugged, working man is the common depiction of an attractive man in tropes. If you claim otherwise, you’re just being dishonest to save face or not wanting to be wrong, or you don’t live on earth. -6 -6points reply Alphabet Soupy Alphabet Soupy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) That’s the common depiction because that’s what male writers think is most manly/attractive. Dirty? Ew, David. Sweaty? Sticky and smelly. Unshaven? Stabby, painful kisses. Clean and groomed? Not scared to get close AND ready for whatever comes up! You prefer a certain look, fine, but that’s is most certainly not true in real life with real humans with functioning eyes and noses. 4 4points reply Malakai Malakai Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It might be the common depiction but it's hardly the actual norm of what women are attracted to. Nothing turns most women off more than uncleanliness, and I'm speaking not just for me but also multiple female friends. Sweat, body odor, dirt, grime, unbrushed/unkempt hair and beards are all nasty if not taken care of immediately. 3 3points reply Llama_flower93 Llama_flower93 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is actually really fascinating me. I have definitely seen men made to look hot in a rugged, dirty environment. And I don't think women can deny that can be attractive. However, I think even when it looks attractive, there's barely any women who will want to touch, kiss or sleep with that man in that dirty state. It's the opposite of arousing. I think what's actually appealing is the absence of a man being conformed and controlled by the corporate world. Oftentimes the rugged man is seen as free, knowing himself better and unswayed by social norms, and I think it's the nonconformity that is appealing more so than the dirt itself. It ultimately depends on the character type attached to the "dirty man" scenario. If a corporate man runs and falls because his watch is stolen he's just dirty and sweaty, but if a man is fixing the front porch and looks the same way, it's sexy because he's strong and can take care of those laborious needs. Just my thoughts. Might be wrong. 1 1point reply Ragnhild Nilsen Ragnhild Nilsen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not to forget: The extremely muscular type of men normally spend far too much time on achieving that type of body, and then (according to myself and most females) will be less likely to spend time with his partner and children. There is a big difference between the men who spend an hour or two playing ball, or going to the gym, and those who live for their exercise regimes. 23 23points reply Jupittance Jupittance Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Also if they're really ripped, they're probably on a supplement regimen which includes stuff that sometimes doesn't make you a fun person to be around. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST Marylen Marylen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) I love attractive men... But I also love a 'non--douchy' attractive man. The problem for me would not be his look as he was before. If his only picture was the one hiking, it would be great. However, he doesn't smile in the two other pictures and doesn't seem to have a good personality. Give me muscles AND personality! :-) 39 39points reply Katchen Katchen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yes, his facial expressions in his fit pictures makes him look unapproachable. 18 18points reply Load More Replies... Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If you start by saying you're attracted to attractive men, that's not really saying much? -2 -2points reply Thorfin Wolfsbane Thorfin Wolfsbane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago so, basically, hE ShOuLD SmIlE mORe!!!! -2 -2points reply Nora AlMeida Nora AlMeida Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @‘Thorfin Wolfsbane’— what a creepy and predatory response. If a woman or a girl smiled, a sick immature male might wrongfully assume she likes him and start harassing her, then calling her derogatory names or in some cases, he would actually assault or stalk her once he realized that her smile was only meant to be a smile, and nothing more; she’s not interested in him. So, it is actually good for women and girls NOT to smile at males. When a guy is smiling, not all smiles are created equal. Plenty of r*pists smile in an arrogant manner. So, no, it is not about him smiling more; it is about him having a demeanor that is civil and kind, that can make him attractive to a number of girls or women. And that can include him having a kind smile, but not necessarily. 1 1point reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Clean and well groomed is always sexy. One of the sexiest men I ever met was a coworker who really wasn't attractive in the conventional sense at all. But he was well groomed and well dressed and funny as all get out. 28 28points reply Jessica Aubé Jessica Aubé Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Mewton isn’t entirely wrong Saying most woman may be incorrect but plenty of woman prefer what mewton is describing .. I sure do .. a well groomed well dressed man is a huge turn off for me .. it comes across as high maintenance.. I want a man who can go camping and hiking with me , who will help around the house and play with our kids .. a beard is hot .. a pretty boy isnt .. to me .. now if his hygiene is bad I’m out .. brush your teeth and don’t smell bad .. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Glirpy Glirpy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I’m a guy, but I can tell you that two of the things you mentioned are completely irrelevant. If a man is just funny, they will get any woman they want. Well groomed and well dressed aside. -6 -6points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I don’t really care about clean and well groomed. I don’t think most women do. A guy can be literally dirty, sweaty and unshaved and be leagues hotter than some ugly guy with a fresh haircut. -27 -27points reply Yelena Yardeen Yelena Yardeen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I think you're alone on this one. Dirty and ungroomed is universally unattractive 27 27points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Dont bother. This user is just a disgusting troll 4 4points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I think you don’t have a sense of what’s being discussed or what’s common. A sweaty, workin’ man who is rugged and works with his hands is almost the set standard for what’s attractive. In pop culture, firemen and mechanics and such are depicted as beautiful, while clean and careful men who work desk jobs are painted as undesirable. Dirty and ungroomed are used to display male beauty more often than the opposite. Also cleanliness doesn’t impact facial beauty or body shape, the main measures of physical appearance. -12 -12points reply Yelena Yardeen Yelena Yardeen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Lol. I have a sense of what is being discussed. You seem a bit delusional. 7 7points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) This comment is hidden. Click here to view. No I don’t. I’m not the one pretending to laugh out loud. It’s just that you’re upset that I disagreed with you and don’t know what else to say about it. If you had a sense of what’s being discussed, you wouldn’t be so combative. It’s just a fact that a rugged, working man is the common depiction of an attractive man in tropes. If you claim otherwise, you’re just being dishonest to save face or not wanting to be wrong, or you don’t live on earth. -6 -6points reply Alphabet Soupy Alphabet Soupy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) That’s the common depiction because that’s what male writers think is most manly/attractive. Dirty? Ew, David. Sweaty? Sticky and smelly. Unshaven? Stabby, painful kisses. Clean and groomed? Not scared to get close AND ready for whatever comes up! You prefer a certain look, fine, but that’s is most certainly not true in real life with real humans with functioning eyes and noses. 4 4points reply Malakai Malakai Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It might be the common depiction but it's hardly the actual norm of what women are attracted to. Nothing turns most women off more than uncleanliness, and I'm speaking not just for me but also multiple female friends. Sweat, body odor, dirt, grime, unbrushed/unkempt hair and beards are all nasty if not taken care of immediately. 3 3points reply Llama_flower93 Llama_flower93 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is actually really fascinating me. I have definitely seen men made to look hot in a rugged, dirty environment. And I don't think women can deny that can be attractive. However, I think even when it looks attractive, there's barely any women who will want to touch, kiss or sleep with that man in that dirty state. It's the opposite of arousing. I think what's actually appealing is the absence of a man being conformed and controlled by the corporate world. Oftentimes the rugged man is seen as free, knowing himself better and unswayed by social norms, and I think it's the nonconformity that is appealing more so than the dirt itself. It ultimately depends on the character type attached to the "dirty man" scenario. If a corporate man runs and falls because his watch is stolen he's just dirty and sweaty, but if a man is fixing the front porch and looks the same way, it's sexy because he's strong and can take care of those laborious needs. Just my thoughts. Might be wrong. 1 1point reply Ragnhild Nilsen Ragnhild Nilsen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not to forget: The extremely muscular type of men normally spend far too much time on achieving that type of body, and then (according to myself and most females) will be less likely to spend time with his partner and children. There is a big difference between the men who spend an hour or two playing ball, or going to the gym, and those who live for their exercise regimes. 23 23points reply Jupittance Jupittance Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Also if they're really ripped, they're probably on a supplement regimen which includes stuff that sometimes doesn't make you a fun person to be around. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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