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Rich Man Doesn’ t Realize His GF Can’ t Afford His Lavish Lifestyle And Skipped Meals On Vacation Asks If He’ s Wrong

Jonas Grinevičius and
Justinas Keturka
Dear Pandas, it sometimes physically hurts reading some of the stories posted on the AITA subreddit. While plenty of people wondering whether or not they did the right thing end up being exonerated by their fellow redditors, sometimes we get stories like the one you're about to read. Stories that make you lose your faith in humanity and wonder how thick, ignorant, and lacking in empathy some people can be. Case in point, a very well-off redditor, who has since deleted their account after the massive backlash he received, shared a tale about how he and his girlfriend went on an expensive vacation abroad with his family. The thing to keep in mind is that the guy earns more than three times what his partner does and comes from a very well-off family. Meanwhile, his girlfriend had to get a second job for several months to even afford to go on the expensive vacation. And even then she couldn't afford to go on all the outings or to even eat three square meals a day. Let us know what you think of the situation, dear Pandas, and be sure to check out Bored Panda's interview about the proper way to react to situations that make you defensive in a relationship. Spoiler warning: the answer definitely isn't to avoid taking responsibility for the role you played in what happened.

A very defensive guy from an affluent family enraged the internet with his tale about how his girlfriend went hungry while on vacation

Image credits: David Vives (not the actual photo) Image credits: reddit The backlash against the redditor was immense. So much so that they ended up deleting their account and nearly everyone on the AITA community was against the man. In short, at the core of everything lies the fact that the rich dude had all the information available to him-how much his girlfriend makes, what the activities were going to be-and he still managed to remain oblivious to his partner's struggles. It's pretty safe to say that the relationship is on the edge of a knife, teetering on the brink, and it all comes down to the man's stubbornly defensive approach that he supposedly didn't do anything wrong because they "agreed" to split the costs 50/50. This sort of defensiveness, among other things, is toxic to a relationship. Relationship coach Alex Scot highlighted to Bored Panda that the solution to being overly defensive is acknowledging the role that you played in everything. "The antidote for defensiveness is to take responsibility for your part," she said. "We've all heard the saying, 'It takes two to tango,' and when it comes to conflict arising within a relationship, that phrase still rings true. When we can take ownership of the part we contributed to a problem, our partner feels heard and understood which allows the discussion for a solution to take place. Without it, tensions rise, talking becomes yelling, and conflicts are left unresolved only to reappear once again," the relationship expert told Bored Panda.

Here s what some redditors had to say about the entire situation There wasn t much sympathy for the guy

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Justinas Keturka Justinas Keturka Author, BoredPanda staff Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. In his spare time, he creates graphic collages and even had his first artwork exhibition at "Devilstone". Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry. 162 162points reply Sarah C Sarah C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is. 116 116points reply Load More Replies... N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Please dont make me go back to that site to find the actual link to quote, but I swear one of his genuine defensive replies was along the lines of "Well, she went to the pool or read a book [while his family were on a trip]. It's not like I locked her in the room!" I mean, seriously. There wasnt a single one of his replies that had any more than -5000 votes that I could find. He couldn't be more of an AH if he were the literal part of the anatomy of [insert your least favourite politician here] 9 9points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And he waited until AFTER they got back to bring it up??? Like he saw her only eating two meals, heard her stomach rumbling, and somehow didn't even think to maybe ask her if she was okay or wanted a snack or something? He's clearly come from such a privileged background that he's super ignorant about a lot of things, but this is just...this is clueless to the level of just not caring. 30 30points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago he earns 3 times more but they split everything 50/50 ?? she had to take a second job for this trip and he didn't see the problem ?? i'm speechless too 29 29points reply LH25 LH25 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And asked her if she had an eating disorder?! 18 18points reply Xatia L Xatia L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That somehow magically appeared only on a very expensive vacation where all the food was very expensive... 7 7points reply Rannveig Ess Rannveig Ess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not only leaves her hungry but decides this means she might have an "eating disorder" and that is what he concerns himself about. Right away, anything he or his Beloved Mommy and Daddy deems as "strange" has to mean it's a personal failing or flaw on his GFs part? What a bunch of arrogant asses. 14 14points reply Mary Montejo Mary Montejo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Even my 13 year old said he was the A. 9 9points reply Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Total douche canoe 9 9points reply Orionpax75 Orionpax75 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a man I find this disgusting!! Like who does this to their partner WTF?!?! I'm not rich and when I take vacation with my girl I always pay for her plane tickets and hotel. And she usually pays for food and stuff it's a partnership if I make more than I'll cover more like 60-40 or 70-30. But 50/50 when I make 60k more that's crazy 8 8points reply JuJu JuJu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips. 121 121points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid. 51 51points reply Load More Replies... Anita Pickle Anita Pickle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) You are so right! It reminds me of every elected official, so out of touch and have no clue what it is like to have a lower or normal wage job. But they act like they do. This guy was so bad, he should have instead said, I know we agreed to split 50/50 but from here on out it is my treat. Then if she had a problem with him taking care of her it is a different story. 9 9points reply LJ Robinson LJ Robinson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm wondering if his family had any idea what was going on. If he didn't want them to know, they wouldn't. Sounds to me like he was trying to show off what a good choice he made without letting them know she's not in his financial tax bracket, and putting her down in their relationship as a side project. Puppet master. Ego driven manipulator. 6 6points reply Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better. 68 68points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed 33 33points reply Load More Replies... Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This exactly. When we started dating I made less than minimum wage because I had recently started a business, and my now-husband was making about $75k a year. At first I wanted to still be able to split the cost on some things, even though he was fine with paying for everything, so he would look for low cost date ideas. Even as my business grew I was never (and will never) going to be making anywhere near what he makes. He's in tech, and now makes $150k a year. It didn't take long in our relationship for us to see that in order for things to be fair, he would have to pay for the majority of things. And he's fine with that, and we are fortunate he's able to do that, especially in situations like covid where I was unable to run my business or work at all for more than a year. Just because something costs the same number of dollars to both of you, doesn't mean that it actually "costs" the same to both of you when your incomes are so wildly different. 7 7points reply Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago He sure sounds like a keeper :) We have a similar situation, my wife makes about 1/4 what I make, but we save together, spend together. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope she spent her times alone at the hotel reconsidering the relationship. 15 15points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too. I'm shocked she went along with it for so long. Two years! Girl, cut the whole man out of your budget! 13 13points reply Something Something Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago In addition, she was going along on his family vacation. They chose the venue and the time. When it makes sense financially, the asker is primarily responsible for the cost. 6 6points reply Rissie Rissie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago He is beyond asshole and she should be more assertive. By taking that job she acknowledged that his behavior was ok. It is not ok. Facilitating for donkey openings is also just stupid. 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Paulina Prazmo Paulina Prazmo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I’m speechless, what a d**k. He could hear her stomach rumbling and yet he let her to be hungry. 162 162points reply Sarah C Sarah C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Left her to be hungry and left her alone while they were out having a great time. What a literal twat he is. 116 116points reply Load More Replies... N G N G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Please dont make me go back to that site to find the actual link to quote, but I swear one of his genuine defensive replies was along the lines of "Well, she went to the pool or read a book [while his family were on a trip]. It's not like I locked her in the room!" I mean, seriously. There wasnt a single one of his replies that had any more than -5000 votes that I could find. He couldn't be more of an AH if he were the literal part of the anatomy of [insert your least favourite politician here] 9 9points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And he waited until AFTER they got back to bring it up??? Like he saw her only eating two meals, heard her stomach rumbling, and somehow didn't even think to maybe ask her if she was okay or wanted a snack or something? He's clearly come from such a privileged background that he's super ignorant about a lot of things, but this is just...this is clueless to the level of just not caring. 30 30points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago he earns 3 times more but they split everything 50/50 ?? she had to take a second job for this trip and he didn't see the problem ?? i'm speechless too 29 29points reply LH25 LH25 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And asked her if she had an eating disorder?! 18 18points reply Xatia L Xatia L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That somehow magically appeared only on a very expensive vacation where all the food was very expensive... 7 7points reply Rannveig Ess Rannveig Ess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not only leaves her hungry but decides this means she might have an "eating disorder" and that is what he concerns himself about. Right away, anything he or his Beloved Mommy and Daddy deems as "strange" has to mean it's a personal failing or flaw on his GFs part? What a bunch of arrogant asses. 14 14points reply Mary Montejo Mary Montejo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Even my 13 year old said he was the A. 9 9points reply Grumble O'Pug Grumble O'Pug Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Total douche canoe 9 9points reply Orionpax75 Orionpax75 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago As a man I find this disgusting!! Like who does this to their partner WTF?!?! I'm not rich and when I take vacation with my girl I always pay for her plane tickets and hotel. And she usually pays for food and stuff it's a partnership if I make more than I'll cover more like 60-40 or 70-30. But 50/50 when I make 60k more that's crazy 8 8points reply JuJu JuJu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Him and his whole bloody family rubbed their money in her face without considering that she simply doesn't have the money to spend like that. I would be so ashamed of my family if I was him (and of myself). Either you plan for the lower budget or you pay the gap when you insist on luxurious trips. 121 121points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I bet he and his family are the kind of well-off where they have been living this way for so long that they've genuinely forgotten that most people can't afford this kind of lifestyle. I'm not saying that excuses their behavior, though. I just think they weren't trying to rub anything in her face; I think they just genuinely were that privileged and ignorant that it never even occurred to them that someone who only made $45k a year and had to take on a second job to even be able to go was someone who was not going to be able to afford what they could. I just think of Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development, "It's one banana, Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?" And the son is the worst of all because they were together for TWO YEARS, and it never occurred to him that it is wildly unfair to split things 50/50 when his girlfriend makes a third of what he does. In the whole two years. They're privileged to the point of being stupid. 51 51points reply Load More Replies... Anita Pickle Anita Pickle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) You are so right! It reminds me of every elected official, so out of touch and have no clue what it is like to have a lower or normal wage job. But they act like they do. This guy was so bad, he should have instead said, I know we agreed to split 50/50 but from here on out it is my treat. Then if she had a problem with him taking care of her it is a different story. 9 9points reply LJ Robinson LJ Robinson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm wondering if his family had any idea what was going on. If he didn't want them to know, they wouldn't. Sounds to me like he was trying to show off what a good choice he made without letting them know she's not in his financial tax bracket, and putting her down in their relationship as a side project. Puppet master. Ego driven manipulator. 6 6points reply Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What a complete bell end! The poor woman needs to find a better boyfriend. 50-50 works if both earn the same. If one partner earns considerably less, proportion might work better. 68 68points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Exactly. Its not about equality its about equity. If one of them makes much more the balance should be 80-20 or 60-40 or whatever needs to be. I always felt terrible for not being able to pay 50-50 but I needed to learn that this is not how a good relation works. If I am doing minimum wage jobs (or I cant work due to illness like now) and my partner has a well paid job he needs to pay more. Its just the fair thing to do. It would be the same if the roles were reversed 33 33points reply Load More Replies... Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This exactly. When we started dating I made less than minimum wage because I had recently started a business, and my now-husband was making about $75k a year. At first I wanted to still be able to split the cost on some things, even though he was fine with paying for everything, so he would look for low cost date ideas. Even as my business grew I was never (and will never) going to be making anywhere near what he makes. He's in tech, and now makes $150k a year. It didn't take long in our relationship for us to see that in order for things to be fair, he would have to pay for the majority of things. And he's fine with that, and we are fortunate he's able to do that, especially in situations like covid where I was unable to run my business or work at all for more than a year. Just because something costs the same number of dollars to both of you, doesn't mean that it actually "costs" the same to both of you when your incomes are so wildly different. 7 7points reply Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago He sure sounds like a keeper :) We have a similar situation, my wife makes about 1/4 what I make, but we save together, spend together. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I hope she spent her times alone at the hotel reconsidering the relationship. 15 15points reply Megan Pippenger Megan Pippenger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Me too. I'm shocked she went along with it for so long. Two years! Girl, cut the whole man out of your budget! 13 13points reply Something Something Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago In addition, she was going along on his family vacation. They chose the venue and the time. When it makes sense financially, the asker is primarily responsible for the cost. 6 6points reply Rissie Rissie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago He is beyond asshole and she should be more assertive. By taking that job she acknowledged that his behavior was ok. It is not ok. Facilitating for donkey openings is also just stupid. 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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