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Bartender Shares How She Gained Weight And How This Radically Changed The Way Customers Treat Her Interview

Jonas Grinevičius and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
The harsh truth is that the way that you look has a huge impact on your life: from how people treat you even to your financial situation at the end of the month. Especially for anyone working in the service industry as a tipped employee, for instance, a bartender. It's called the halo effect and in a nutshell, it means that we tend to perceive attractive people as being better at everything and treat them better. And that's exactly the topic that Cassidy Lane, aka Body_positive_bartender, tackled in a viral TikTok video. She shared how radically people's behavior with her changed at work when she started putting on weight during the pandemic after receiving help for her eating disorder. Cassidy said that her whole life changed. "People don't even look you in the eye anymore," she shared the heart-rending way others shifted their behavior. Cassidy shared with Bored Panda that she didn't expect her video to get as much attention as it did and she "filmed it on a whim" while having her morning coffee. "And then suddenly I checked my TickTock a few hours later and it was already at 500K. But the reason it went to viral I think, was because so many people related to it," she said. "There were so many people in the comments saying that the same thing happened to them and it was good to hear that they weren't crazy and it was happening to other people. Which is a little sad. But shared experiences are such a strong form of connection that I can understand why it went viral. It did leave me feeling a little vulnerable that 6 million people have watched me cry on the Internet." Meanwhile, Bored Panda also had a chat about eating disorders with an expert in the field, Catherine Cook-Cottone, a Professor of Counseling at the University at Buffalo Graduate School of Education. Read on for both interviews. More info: TikTok Instagram Image credits: body_positive_bartender I was interested to get Cassidy's take on what needs to happen for people to stop judging others based solely on their looks. According to the bartender, it's something that will probably never go away "because as humans that's how we evolved to keep ourselves safe." However, that doesn't mean that we can treat people badly just because they find them unattractive or have no interest in them. "Somehow we've built an entire society that caters to a small margin of bodies. Think about airplane seats. I think about clothing stores, a lot of them don't even go past a large sometimes, but the average woman in America right now is about a 2X. A lot of people who have never been fat don't realize when you go to the doctor as a fat person it doesn't matter what is wrong with you they will usually ignore it and tell you to lose weight," she told Bored Panda. "I had been having stomach issues for about a year that were preventing me from going to school or work. By the time I finally found a doctor that would listen to me, and not just prescribe weight loss, they figured out I had a really serious stomach ulcer."

You can watch Cassidy s full candid and emotional TikTok video right here

@body_positive_bartender##stitch with @lizagnabathwater we can all pretend it's not true, but we know it is. ##fatphobia ##bodypositivemoment ##bartendersecret ##serversoftiktok♬ Body (Remix) [feat. ArrDee, E1 (3×3), ZT (3×3), Bugzy Malone, Buni, Fivio Foreign & Darkoo] – Tion Wayne & Russ Millions Cassidy was candid that as a video content creator she simply wants to be genuine and true to herself. " I have found that being vulnerable on TikTok and showing my really low lows as well as my highs has apparently resonated with a lot of people. I think it just goes back to the power of shared experience. The ability to look at someone else and say, 'Hey I do that too/I've been through that too.' It's a really powerful thing," she noted that when we're completely vulnerable and honest with others, that's when real connections can be made. "I mostly focused on body positive content in the beginning, but once I started getting help for my eating disorder I started sharing stories from that. Then I added on talking about my bipolar disorder. I've always been a really creative person so TikTok has been a really great outlet for me. I really appreciate that people get so much for my content, but I don't think they realize how much I get from them as well. TikTok has almost become a video journal for me," Cassidy said. Having your life on display has its challenges, too, though, and it can sometimes seem overwhelming. However, Cassidy takes these challenges in stride and the feedback from her community keeps her passionate about continuing to make videos. "Every single time I read a comment about how somebody ate today because of me, or loved themselves a little bit more, or wore their first bikini because one of my videos, it truly is the best feeling in the world. I wish I could respond to every single person that stops by and leaves a comment on my page. Because they're so supportive and kind. Being a content creator is definitely not something I ever knew I needed in my life until I had it."

The video creator pointed out that the shift in how customers treated her was very sudden and drastic

Image credits: body_positive_bartender Image credits: body_positive_bartender Image credits: body_positive_bartender Cassidy's candid and emotional video got more than 1.3 million likes on TikTok. She pointed out that it's especially men that are now more dismissive of her while they'd be enthusiastic in speaking with her before. The body positivity advocate said that she feels "hopeless" and wondered whether there will ever come a time when she'll be worth more than just her looks. One of the most prevalent eating disorders is anorexia, also known as Anorexia nervosa. People with anorexia constantly monitor their weight, restrict their calories, avoid eating certain types of foods, and tend to view themselves as overweight even if they're dangerously underweight. According to Professor Cook-Cottone, there are three things that people suffering from anorexia need to focus on if they want to get the illness under control: medical, psychological, and nutritional care. "Medical Care: a medical doctor who knows Anorexia nervosa and can make sure you are physically okay. Most doctors do not have specialized training, so be sure to find someone with training," the professor told Bored Panda. "Psychological Care: secure a competent mental health professional who has training in working with eating disorders. This person can help you work on goals for not only your physical wellbeing but your emotional and relational wellbeing," she said. "Find someone who knows about positive embodiment and getting back to being in and of your body in a positive way-this means finding healthy places to be in your body-like a body positive yoga study, hiking, and getting back to the full experience of your body." Cook-Cottone continued: "Make sure they ask you about your goals and dreams in life and help you think about building up the parts of you that are not aligned with the disorder." According to the professor, the point of this is to shut down behaviors and thoughts linked to anorexia. "Recovery is about getting back to effectively living your life." Nutritional care is just as important as medical and psychological support. "Find a nutritionist that not only knows about working with eating disorders-they also know about intuitive eating and getting back to being with food in a nourishing and healthy way, as well as how to honor your body and what it needs, not only to survive, but to flourish."

Here s what some internet users said after they watched Cassidy s video about how people treat you differently based on your looks

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like The Internet Shows Support For This Woman Who Called Out Her Overweight Sister For Her Office Job Outfit Mantas Kačerauskas This AI-Generated Artwork Won 1st Place At Fine Arts Contest And Enraged Artists Saulė Tolstych Woman Who Lost A Lot Of Weight Can't Believe How Differently Everyone Treats Her Now, Calls Out Relatives Mantas Kačerauskas Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Share your thoughts POST Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd just like to point out that you can be skinny and mousy/unattractive at the same time. But the effect of treating good looking people better really applies to all walks of life and all people. Even children in school get better grades when they are pretty. 36 36points reply Truth Monster Truth Monster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I read a news article once that said good-looking female pedophiles get less time than their less conventionally-attractive peers. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Athletic white male sex offenders get a pass as well. 18 18points reply Lauren Lauren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Who is downvoting this? GTFO people. It's a statement, not an opinion. 5 5points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's a theme with this poster to put fown women. 0 0points reply Sam Yobado Sam Yobado Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Attractiveness bias is well documented and studied as it applies to guilt/innocence and sentences for crimes. There are tons of factors that play into it but gender and type of crime are two of them. 3 3points reply Andrew Bridge Andrew Bridge Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You mean there's more than one? Why wasn't I told? This is bullshit! 0 0points reply Tiku Myftari Tiku Myftari Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. i really think that these fat people arent stupid they know exactly what they are doing and they dont are ashamed at all otherwise they will never look like an oil barrel to beggin with so dont blame others for your look bcoz it's your foult that you are like that not the society ok -9 -9points reply Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Looks will always fade, I'm afraid, but ir's not all negative. Embrace the freedom that not being noticed brings. Trust me, it's wonderful. You can dance to your own tune and be yourself. You will hopefully eventually get to a lovely position where you really don't give a stuff what anyone thinks. 25 25points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm married, so I'm glad to be less visible. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Too funny - it's 6pm in my time zone and I just got two down votes; a few more and I'll definitely be less visible, LOL. 3 3points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Best part of turning 30 was being able to go to a bar without my husband there to act as a human shield. In my 20s I had men grab me, pick me up, kiss me, and all sorts of s**t. I wouldn't even go into the grocery store without my husband with me after this one dude followed me around the entire place. I went out with a female friend and not one person (other than the bar tender) said a word to us and it was amazing. IDK, having to call the cops a few times over men following me or assaulting me was traumatizing I could not be happier to be considered 'less' attractive. Pretty privilege isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Having male teachers make comments about my body wasn't worth them treating me like 'teacher's pet'. 2 2points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Iggy and Ivana, I agree with you to a certain extent, but in this context, making a living is dependent on her getting tips from customers. "Being ignored" is in no way a positive for her at work. 0 0points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is why I don't believe in the tip system. Customer service workers should be paid a salary and not depend on if the drunk guy at the bar likes your ass or not. 1 1point reply Sur Mer Sur Mer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) In my childhood I was bullied because I was too thin. In my youth I was desired because I was very slim. And today I am ignored because I am fatter. However, I prefer being ignored to what I had to go through in my childhood. I know from my youth that beautiful people have certain advantages. However, I also know about the many disadvantages that one has to deal with because of that. The loss of my attractiveness was a gain for me, because I could reflect on the things that are inside me. This process may be painful for many, but in the end, the realization that we are much more than an outer shell is a wonderful transformation. 15 15points reply WildHoneyPie WildHoneyPie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well put! 4 4points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd just like to point out that you can be skinny and mousy/unattractive at the same time. But the effect of treating good looking people better really applies to all walks of life and all people. Even children in school get better grades when they are pretty. 36 36points reply Truth Monster Truth Monster Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I read a news article once that said good-looking female pedophiles get less time than their less conventionally-attractive peers. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Athletic white male sex offenders get a pass as well. 18 18points reply Lauren Lauren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Who is downvoting this? GTFO people. It's a statement, not an opinion. 5 5points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's a theme with this poster to put fown women. 0 0points reply Sam Yobado Sam Yobado Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Attractiveness bias is well documented and studied as it applies to guilt/innocence and sentences for crimes. There are tons of factors that play into it but gender and type of crime are two of them. 3 3points reply Andrew Bridge Andrew Bridge Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You mean there's more than one? Why wasn't I told? This is bullshit! 0 0points reply Tiku Myftari Tiku Myftari Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. i really think that these fat people arent stupid they know exactly what they are doing and they dont are ashamed at all otherwise they will never look like an oil barrel to beggin with so dont blame others for your look bcoz it's your foult that you are like that not the society ok -9 -9points reply Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Looks will always fade, I'm afraid, but ir's not all negative. Embrace the freedom that not being noticed brings. Trust me, it's wonderful. You can dance to your own tune and be yourself. You will hopefully eventually get to a lovely position where you really don't give a stuff what anyone thinks. 25 25points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm married, so I'm glad to be less visible. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Too funny - it's 6pm in my time zone and I just got two down votes; a few more and I'll definitely be less visible, LOL. 3 3points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Best part of turning 30 was being able to go to a bar without my husband there to act as a human shield. In my 20s I had men grab me, pick me up, kiss me, and all sorts of s**t. I wouldn't even go into the grocery store without my husband with me after this one dude followed me around the entire place. I went out with a female friend and not one person (other than the bar tender) said a word to us and it was amazing. IDK, having to call the cops a few times over men following me or assaulting me was traumatizing I could not be happier to be considered 'less' attractive. Pretty privilege isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Having male teachers make comments about my body wasn't worth them treating me like 'teacher's pet'. 2 2points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Iggy and Ivana, I agree with you to a certain extent, but in this context, making a living is dependent on her getting tips from customers. "Being ignored" is in no way a positive for her at work. 0 0points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is why I don't believe in the tip system. Customer service workers should be paid a salary and not depend on if the drunk guy at the bar likes your ass or not. 1 1point reply Sur Mer Sur Mer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) In my childhood I was bullied because I was too thin. In my youth I was desired because I was very slim. And today I am ignored because I am fatter. However, I prefer being ignored to what I had to go through in my childhood. I know from my youth that beautiful people have certain advantages. However, I also know about the many disadvantages that one has to deal with because of that. The loss of my attractiveness was a gain for me, because I could reflect on the things that are inside me. This process may be painful for many, but in the end, the realization that we are much more than an outer shell is a wonderful transformation. 15 15points reply WildHoneyPie WildHoneyPie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well put! 4 4points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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