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Guy Demands His Date Return $35 After It Didn’ t Lead To Anything More

Jonas Grinevičius and
Mantas Kačerauskas
In these days of modernity and gender equality, going Dutch on a date and splitting the bill is nothing new. It's no big deal: we've seen it before and (odds are) we've done it countless times. However, something that you probably haven't done is asking for equal payment after a few dates when you realize that you won't be seeing that person again. That's exactly the weird situation that Alex Colboth from Milwaukee in Wisconsin found herself in. The guy she was seeing messaged her and asked her to reimburse him for the three dates that they'd been on when he was rejected by her. "It's only fair to ask for equal payment from you," he wrote. This unusual request sparked quite a debate on Twitter. While social media users came out in support of the guy for having the guts to be so upfront, others thought that he was completely out of line. Have a read through the man's message to Alex and let us know who you think is in the right here, dear Pandas. How would you respond if you were Alex? More info: Twitter Instagram

Alex shared how a guy asked her for a refund when she said she didn t want to see him anymore after 3 dates

Image credits: alexcolboth Image credits: alexx_colboth Alex later gave all of us an update that she didn't reimburse her Tinder match after his request. Some Twitter users pointed out that the man was being unreasonable because he refused to accept the fact that dating is a risk. You might find yourself falling in love or you might realize that you wasted your time. But you move on. And, if you're lucky, you learn a little something for the next date. Meanwhile, other Twitter users noted that, in their opinion, there's nothing wrong with asking for your money back. We're living in 2021 after all. The Harvard Business Review points out that what's truly important during those first few dates is honesty and openness about your views on money. "Rather than letting outdated assumptions lurk in the background, be open about money right from the get-go, and come to a decision you're both comfortable with," Kiara Taylor writes on HBR. Because everyone's financial situation is different, it's vital that you set out very clear boundaries for budgets, gifts, and expectations for who will foot the bill as soon as possible. Avoiding the question because you feel uncomfortable will only create more trouble down the line, especially if you feel that the relationship is getting serious. On the flip side, if the romance doesn't work out, then what do you have to lose by being candid about your financial expectations. According to HBR, this honesty about your views on money can deepen your relationship and increase your empathy for one another. And if we follow this advice, it's clear that we should bite the bullet and ask to split the bill during the date and not after. Though some would still disagree.

Twitter users had various reactions to the situation with some criticizing the guy for having the audacity to ask for his money back and others showing their support

Image credits: LeeshaBabeeee Image credits: Fuvkmarty Image credits: Zeroxmachina Image credits: art__emm Image credits: BeUtifulEnigma7 Image credits: Laura99135119 Image credits: inDigo_Papii Image credits: just_atoyy Image credits: sierrablawrence Image credits: MabeyBrent Image credits: pubhealthdarlng Image credits: imanicaa10 Image credits: notneeva Image credits: ladyryah95 Image credits: AshleyAlready Image credits: chuuchuuengine Image credits: Rising_Aron Image credits: Daphne_488 Image credits: LindsayFromTX Image credits: forbanter2 Image credits: LukeGreensmith Image credits: stephanietrajj Image credits: MobolajiAdewal3 Image credits: dominick_keene Image credits: JavDeLa Image credits: Marcdachamp Image credits: OnceMerc Image credits: KingstonBraeden Image credits: ivaniscold Image credits: SnakeskinMoth Image credits: tweakiwnl Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Mantas Kačerauskas Mantas Kačerauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Mantas is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Also he is a student of Digital Contents, who was studying is South Korea and right now is taking a break from studies so he could get more experience and polish his craft.
He likes to get carried away by his own imagination and create something interesting, mostly in a visual form via drawing in Photoshop or on paper. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Women Share 40 Bizarre Things Men Did On Dates That Made Them Ask “What The Hell?” Mindaugas Balčiauskas Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Konstancija Gasaitytė Amazon Driver Says Manager Asked Him To Finish His Route Before Heading To The ER, Goes Viral With 177K Views Saulė Tolstych Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Leave a comment POST Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If you want to split the bill, that’s perfectly fine. But treating someone to dinner and THEN demanding money is just petty. 72 72points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) Exactly. I always prefer to split if i dont know a lot a person because i feel guilty if the other one pays. But asking for a "refund" is ridiculous. What did he think that she is? A prostitute? He puts money and gets a woman? 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If he wanted a prostitute who'd give the full "girlfriend experience", he needed to pay more than $35. 7 7points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago He did. Read more carefully. -1 -1point reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep. If I took an acquaintance out for coffee and it didn't turn into an actual friendship, I wouldn't ask for the money back. That was a gift freely given. Back when I was single, I did split or alternate paying checks. I'm a modern, employed woman. Seems fair to me. A guy wanting to treat me to expensive dates when we didn't have an established relationship and it wasn't a special occasion was a bit of a flag for me that he might have a transactional attitude. It's a thing my dad warned me to look out for. 4 4points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago totally agreed. Obviously he treated her thinking he‘d get something in return. Now that she doesn‘t want to see him again, he wants a reimbursement? Love is not a business deal. 2 2points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) So he means he was paying to get laid? Also: that's exactly why when I was dating I've always wanted to split the bill. No way you're making me feel like I owe you anything. That said, I would reimburse him with 40 dollars. Go get a coffee hun, it's on me. 19 19points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Or he really was developing feelings for her and got hurt. -8 -8points reply Load More Replies... Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's the risk you take when you date. Dating is a test drive for a more committed relationship. If she didn't feel the same about him, then she didn't owe him a continued relationship just because he developed feelings. 6 6points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This is true. I wasn’t excusing him, just offering a plausible alternative. 0 0points reply Biljana Malesevic Biljana Malesevic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't like either of these two. Why go on three dates with someone you clearly don't like and make him pay everything? And post it all on Twitter to get approval from strangers? And if this man decided to pay for dates, why request the money back? It's not big amount, have dignity, suck it up and go on. Requesting money back from dates is rude, it sounds like you were "investing" into her, which is awful. 16 16points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It can take a lot more than 3 dates to realise you don't like someone or that they aren't right for you. We actually don't know if she made him pay, he could have insisted on paying expecting to get something out of it. which sounds like his plan all along, since he is asking for the money back coz he didn't get what he "paid" for. We are not objects to return for a bloody refund. We are not obligated to date someone just because they paid for something. 55 55points reply Load More Replies... Troux Troux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Agreed, was going to say this. Sometimes it only takes one date to know it won't work, sometimes five, sometimes marriage. We don't have enough facts to know what they discussed about payment, or if one insisted more than the other. As usual, Twitter fosters a very abridged, very one-sided version of a story. 10 10points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) totally agreed. Apparently he paid and expected something in return. It‘s like he wanted to buy her feelings. Noone made him pay for her, he probably treated her on his own. 0 0points reply Zophra Zophra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These are excellent points! 2 2points reply Anna Banana Anna Banana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago That's what dating is - getting to know each other and figuring out if you want to be in a relationship with them. You can't know that after just one date. Or, well, I can't, maybe others can... 1 1point reply Sordatos Cáceres Sordatos Cáceres Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Is 2021, everything must be recorded on the internet for fake points 1 1point reply Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed on disliking both. Three dates totalling only $35/person... Most positive possible spin I see is that he tries to say "I feel you deliberately led me on" in a 'funny' way; and we can't judge as we didn't see how good/bad the 'dates' went. 1 1point reply Bill Evs Bill Evs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, neither of them come out of this well -1 -1point reply Joel Blazquez Sargatal Joel Blazquez Sargatal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I am sorry to break it to you but dating guys with which they are not interested just to get free dinners and drinks is a business model for some women -3 -3points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Crappy business model if she only "earned" $35 in food/drink after 3 damn dates. You must have a hole in your head. 3 3points reply Potato Potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah I'm going to need closer to $50/hr to sit through some of these dinners. I'd rather just have a sandwich at home. 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Kari Panda Kari Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If you want to split the bill, that’s perfectly fine. But treating someone to dinner and THEN demanding money is just petty. 72 72points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) Exactly. I always prefer to split if i dont know a lot a person because i feel guilty if the other one pays. But asking for a "refund" is ridiculous. What did he think that she is? A prostitute? He puts money and gets a woman? 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If he wanted a prostitute who'd give the full "girlfriend experience", he needed to pay more than $35. 7 7points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago He did. Read more carefully. -1 -1point reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yep. If I took an acquaintance out for coffee and it didn't turn into an actual friendship, I wouldn't ask for the money back. That was a gift freely given. Back when I was single, I did split or alternate paying checks. I'm a modern, employed woman. Seems fair to me. A guy wanting to treat me to expensive dates when we didn't have an established relationship and it wasn't a special occasion was a bit of a flag for me that he might have a transactional attitude. It's a thing my dad warned me to look out for. 4 4points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago totally agreed. Obviously he treated her thinking he‘d get something in return. Now that she doesn‘t want to see him again, he wants a reimbursement? Love is not a business deal. 2 2points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) So he means he was paying to get laid? Also: that's exactly why when I was dating I've always wanted to split the bill. No way you're making me feel like I owe you anything. That said, I would reimburse him with 40 dollars. Go get a coffee hun, it's on me. 19 19points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Or he really was developing feelings for her and got hurt. -8 -8points reply Load More Replies... Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's the risk you take when you date. Dating is a test drive for a more committed relationship. If she didn't feel the same about him, then she didn't owe him a continued relationship just because he developed feelings. 6 6points reply Rob Woodman Rob Woodman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This is true. I wasn’t excusing him, just offering a plausible alternative. 0 0points reply Biljana Malesevic Biljana Malesevic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I don't like either of these two. Why go on three dates with someone you clearly don't like and make him pay everything? And post it all on Twitter to get approval from strangers? And if this man decided to pay for dates, why request the money back? It's not big amount, have dignity, suck it up and go on. Requesting money back from dates is rude, it sounds like you were "investing" into her, which is awful. 16 16points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It can take a lot more than 3 dates to realise you don't like someone or that they aren't right for you. We actually don't know if she made him pay, he could have insisted on paying expecting to get something out of it. which sounds like his plan all along, since he is asking for the money back coz he didn't get what he "paid" for. We are not objects to return for a bloody refund. We are not obligated to date someone just because they paid for something. 55 55points reply Load More Replies... Troux Troux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Agreed, was going to say this. Sometimes it only takes one date to know it won't work, sometimes five, sometimes marriage. We don't have enough facts to know what they discussed about payment, or if one insisted more than the other. As usual, Twitter fosters a very abridged, very one-sided version of a story. 10 10points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) totally agreed. Apparently he paid and expected something in return. It‘s like he wanted to buy her feelings. Noone made him pay for her, he probably treated her on his own. 0 0points reply Zophra Zophra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These are excellent points! 2 2points reply Anna Banana Anna Banana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago That's what dating is - getting to know each other and figuring out if you want to be in a relationship with them. You can't know that after just one date. Or, well, I can't, maybe others can... 1 1point reply Sordatos Cáceres Sordatos Cáceres Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Is 2021, everything must be recorded on the internet for fake points 1 1point reply Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed on disliking both. Three dates totalling only $35/person... Most positive possible spin I see is that he tries to say "I feel you deliberately led me on" in a 'funny' way; and we can't judge as we didn't see how good/bad the 'dates' went. 1 1point reply Bill Evs Bill Evs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree, neither of them come out of this well -1 -1point reply Joel Blazquez Sargatal Joel Blazquez Sargatal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I am sorry to break it to you but dating guys with which they are not interested just to get free dinners and drinks is a business model for some women -3 -3points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Crappy business model if she only "earned" $35 in food/drink after 3 damn dates. You must have a hole in your head. 3 3points reply Potato Potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah I'm going to need closer to $50/hr to sit through some of these dinners. I'd rather just have a sandwich at home. 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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