MIL Disrespects Lesbian Mom And Overrules Her Parenting, Then Snaps With "They Aren't Even Your Kids" Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda MIL Disrespects Lesbian Mom And Overrules Her Parenting Then Snaps With “ They Aren t Even Your Kids” Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 147points 840 Parenting, Social Issues1 year ago

MIL Disrespects Lesbian Mom And Overrules Her Parenting Then Snaps With “ They Aren t Even Your Kids”

Rokas Laurinavičius and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Reddit user u/throwawayaitamil is a lesbian mom-of-two. And I know you might be wondering, what does her sexual orientation have to do with anything? Unfortunately, it's relevant to the story. When she and her little ones went to a BBQ with their extended family, the kids wanted to have some M&Ms. Their mom, however, told them to wait until after dinner and enjoy the candies as dessert. Sounds like a pretty simple situation, right? It was. Until the mother-in-law decided to go rogue. The lady gave her grandchildren candies before the meal, even though her daughter-in-law explicitly said she was against it. What's even worse, the mother-in-law refused to apologize and chose to destroy her relationship with her daughter and her family over a few M&Ms instead. In doubt over the way she handled the conflict, u/throwawayaitamil turned to the subreddit "Am I the [Jerk]?" for help. Here's what she wrote. Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo) Image credits: throwawayaitamil

Honest Mum s Vicki Broadbent believes this story is a prime example of backseat parenting

Image credits: Vicki Broadbent / Honest Mum Vicki Broadbent, an award-winning lifestyle blogger, parenting expert, and bestselling author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (the US and Canada), refers to the act of challenging parents in front of their children or otherwise as 'backseat parenting.' "It's rather like driving a car from the passenger seat and however well-meaning the intentions of those offering unsolicited advice, the parent will always feel disrespected," the creator of Honest Mum told Bored Panda. "In this instance, the grandmother was entirely in the wrong, she tried to control the situation despite knowing the mother's intentions, undermining her before then abusing her in front of the children, stating she didn't consider her their real parent. This was highly distressing for all involved and most of all, the children. It seems this situation was far more complex than giving children candies and there are tensions and unresolved issues between her and the mother in question." "In general, if you feel a desperate need to share advice to a parent (and it's not a dangerous situation where you must interfere immediately for e.g.), take them to one side in private (never in front of their children) and before doing so, please carefully consider whether your advice is necessary and it's even your place to share," Vicki added. The mom of two boys with a baby girl due in the winter highlighted that everyone parents differently and individually. "The saying, 'Mom (and dad) knows best' is almost always right. Parents know their children inside and out, they're aware of their schedules, routines, behavior, and needs, and while grandparents enjoy spoiling their grandchildren and should at times, offering kids candies 15 minutes before a meal seems ill-thought-out in this instance and intentionally disrespectful towards the mother," Vicki Broadbent explained. "Common sense is rarely common, as my Dad would say. Think before you speak or act." If you also fall victim to backseat parenting, you might want to address your kids after everything cools down and clear up any confusion they might have. "Once your children are away from the grandparents and have calmed down (if they're upset), I would gently explain that sometimes adults make mistakes and say and do things they don't mean or they don't fully think it through before saying/doing," Vicki said. "The point here is to first reassure your children that they are emotionally safe with you and that you are their guide and guardian when it comes to safety, rules, and boundaries. Children need to know they can count on their parents/primary caregivers at all times and it's your job to ensure they don't ever feel otherwise." When other people question your parenting, it can feed your fears and doubts. But try to fight them. As Laura Markham Ph.D. said, the proof of your child-raising approach will be in the pudding, and the pudding takes a long time to cook. Focus on the process and things will fall into place.

Here s what people said about the entire ordeal

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm shocked the phonecalls keep going. All has been said that needs to be said; stop repeating, put the phone down. No reason to insist on an apology which is meaningless as long as MIL feels/'knows' she did nothing wrong. I'm no genetic contributor to my dog but if I tell my MIL not to give it a treat she doesn't give it a treat --- it's not a matter of genetics it's who's caretaker. 53 53points reply David Andrews David Andrews Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Totally agree, they know what she did wrong, and what she needs to do, so no point engaging with them until she does. If her son and his wife had adopted a child, would she have told them they were not really it's mum and dad in front of it? Clearly she has a bigger issue with her daughter's relationship on some level 23 23points reply Load More Replies... Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Probably not but some people get really terrible with the cincept of non biological children no matter the sex of the parents. 6 6points reply Steve Steve Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The non-MIL family probably just want the drama to end and don't care how, so shouldn't be surprising they keep calling 2 2points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That is how families usually function, the people not directly involved in the argument are much more interested in shutting everyone up than in backing the person who's right. But usually that means that everyone but the interested parties are sick of it and stop talking about it quickly enough, if they're still calling that means the MIL is still raising hell with the entire family. 0 0points reply Laura Laurz Laura Laurz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Precisely. The MIL behaviour is disgusting and it's about more than simply giving the kids a treat before dinner. What gets me is the fact the rest of the family seem to think her behaviour is OK and also all contributing to the guilt trips and abusive calls. Some true colours showing it seems 1 1point reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh boy, that mil is a peice of work. She tried a power grab, undermined your authority and deliberately put you on the spot. Now she is a victim???? Your wife is great taking your side as it should be. MIL is a cow. 39 39points reply Biljana Malesevic Biljana Malesevic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I feel like candies were just an excuse here to get into fight. MiL probably had some resentment long long time ago and just needed a cause. It's just too ridiculous to be so rude and really awful to daughter in law just because of such small thing. That mother in law has some previous resentment, and she should really address and solve her real issues because this way she doesn't look good. 24 24points reply Load More Comments POST Marcellus the Third Marcellus the Third Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm shocked the phonecalls keep going. All has been said that needs to be said; stop repeating, put the phone down. No reason to insist on an apology which is meaningless as long as MIL feels/'knows' she did nothing wrong. I'm no genetic contributor to my dog but if I tell my MIL not to give it a treat she doesn't give it a treat --- it's not a matter of genetics it's who's caretaker. 53 53points reply David Andrews David Andrews Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Totally agree, they know what she did wrong, and what she needs to do, so no point engaging with them until she does. If her son and his wife had adopted a child, would she have told them they were not really it's mum and dad in front of it? Clearly she has a bigger issue with her daughter's relationship on some level 23 23points reply Load More Replies... Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Probably not but some people get really terrible with the cincept of non biological children no matter the sex of the parents. 6 6points reply Steve Steve Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The non-MIL family probably just want the drama to end and don't care how, so shouldn't be surprising they keep calling 2 2points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That is how families usually function, the people not directly involved in the argument are much more interested in shutting everyone up than in backing the person who's right. But usually that means that everyone but the interested parties are sick of it and stop talking about it quickly enough, if they're still calling that means the MIL is still raising hell with the entire family. 0 0points reply Laura Laurz Laura Laurz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Precisely. The MIL behaviour is disgusting and it's about more than simply giving the kids a treat before dinner. What gets me is the fact the rest of the family seem to think her behaviour is OK and also all contributing to the guilt trips and abusive calls. Some true colours showing it seems 1 1point reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Oh boy, that mil is a peice of work. She tried a power grab, undermined your authority and deliberately put you on the spot. Now she is a victim???? Your wife is great taking your side as it should be. MIL is a cow. 39 39points reply Biljana Malesevic Biljana Malesevic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I feel like candies were just an excuse here to get into fight. MiL probably had some resentment long long time ago and just needed a cause. It's just too ridiculous to be so rude and really awful to daughter in law just because of such small thing. That mother in law has some previous resentment, and she should really address and solve her real issues because this way she doesn't look good. 24 24points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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