"A Kid Isn't A Freeloading Roommate": Mom Goes Viral For Explaining How Kids "Don't Owe Their Parents Anything" Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda “ A Kid Isn’ t A Freeloading Roommate” Mom Goes Viral For Explaining How Kids “ Don’ t Owe Their Parents Anything” Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 163points 5.7K Parenting, People1 year ago

“ A Kid Isn’ t A Freeloading Roommate” Mom Goes Viral For Explaining How Kids “ Don’ t Owe Their Parents Anything”

Jonas Grinevičius and
Austėja Akavickaitė
Kids don't owe their parents anything. That's the idea that full-time mom Lisa Pontius believes everyone ought to hear. In a viral TikTok video, she explains exactly why she believes that it's wrong to guilt children into thinking that they owe their parents a certain type of relationship and respect because of everything they've done for them. Once they grow up, it's for them to decide what the relationship should be like. And providing for your child's physical and financial needs is a parent's responsibility; it's not done to make your child blindly obey you in the future. At the time of writing, the video already had 4.1 million views, 642k likes, and 70.8k shares which just goes to show just how much the topic about setting boundaries with loved ones resonated with TikTok viewers. Lisa pointed out that she's perfectly aware that her views are controversial and likely to make quite a few people angry. Check out her video below and let us know what you think of her parenting philosophy, dear Pandas. Do you agree with her? Do you think that kids really do owe their parents a lot for everything they've done? Or do you think the situation is much more nuanced and not as clear-cut as it seems? Share your thoughts and insights in the comment section. More info: TikTok Instagram ItsMeLisaP.com

Full-time mom Lisa gave her honest opinion about why she thinks kids don t owe their parents anything

Image credits: itsme_lisap

Her video went viral and has over 4 1 million views You can watch the full version right over here

@itsme_lisapAlready anticipating the Karen's in the comments ##parenting ##parentsoftiktok ##parentchildrelationship ##respect ##boundaries♬ original sound – Lisa P In her video, Lisa points out that all the things that parents do for their kids should be considered, well, parenting. You're supposed to take care of your kid, provide a roof over their head, feed them, and do all the hundreds of things, small and large, that help them grow up into a fully-functioning adult. It's a responsibility that you signed up for. "You don't get a participation trophy for housing your child or keeping your child clean. The whole 'roof over your head' argument is manipulative, because in theory, wouldn't you have had a place to live for yourself regardless of if you had children? A kid isn't a freeloading roommate, they're your dependent and your responsibility," Lisa told BuzzFeed in an interview.

According to Lisa providing for your kids is a responsibility not a way to force them into having the relationship you want with them once they grow up

Image credits: itsme.lisap Image credits: itsme.lisap According to the mom, even though not everyone "rises to the occasion" when it comes to parenting, they're still supposed to do the bare minimum. Taking care of your children's physical and financial needs is expected of you. Lisa added that a level above that is taking care of their emotional needs as well and that's what separates good parents from average ones. Providing for your child isn't done so that your kid will blindly obey everything that you will say once they grow up. What's more, Lisa pointed out that no matter how good of a job you think you've done, there's always a chance that your kids won't want to spend time with you in the future. That's because, in her words, you don't get to pick your kids or the struggles that they go through. At the end of the day, you should aim to be the best parent you can be and you might get the relationship with your child that you want in the future. But it's not a guarantee because your kids are people, too. In her blog, Lisa shares that she's an ex-private chef from New York who moved to Charleston and became a housewife. Lisa lives with her husband, two kids (firstborn Lyla and son Miles), and a dog that she feeds too much. "After having kids, and turning 30 I found myself in a crisis of style and situation. I took myself out of the food and beverage world to be a full-time mom and wife. Struggling to find my new identity and figure out who I was, I found myself creating this new me through style," she writes. "It took me a few years to figure out this whole fashion thing, but here I am, with a fully curated and ever-evolving sense of personal style that has made me a more vibrant version of myself."

Here s how people have been reacting to Lisa s controversial-yet-honest video

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Austėja Akavickaitė Follow Unfollow Austėja Akavickaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. They have a diverse set of creative skills and a wide portfolio which ranges from photography to digital editing and traditional art. After graduating from Nottingham Trent University in 2018 they have worked as a freelance photographer until Bored Panda. When not editing, they enjoy biking, taking too many pictures of their dog and drawing. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Chloe Patt Chloe Patt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Life is hard. Very hard, in fact. Children are had because parents wanted them (sometimes pressured to) either because they want to see mini versions of themselves, want the feeling of being parents, want to salvage relationships, want an heir..whatever - that's where it all starts. Parents wanted them - the kids didn't ask to be here, didn't ask parents to give up their jobs, etc. When you decide to bring a human being into this world, you have responsibilities - to raise them until they are able to take care of themselves. That is your responsibility as someone who decided to create a human into this life where they'll have to live for 70+ years and go through a massive amount of events, many unpleasant/upsetting. So I agree with the lady. 22 22points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So, all children are planned and wanted? Interesting. -3 -3points reply Load More Replies... Raven DeathShade Raven DeathShade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And those who aren't, I want to care for. It is a terrible tragedy that there are still homeless children, children who were kicked out of the house due to sexuality or some other cause, etc. I want to help them. 1 1point reply V-V V-V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The children who weren't planned, even more, shouldn't have to pay for their parents mistakes If their parents didn't intentionally create them, yet believe their kids owe them something, that's messed up. 0 0points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So to avoid that situation, is your view that all unplanned children should be aborted so they do not have to "pay for their parents mistakes"? 0 0points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago she is so right !!! your kids don't owe you anything. parenting was your job !! having a kid was your decision. no kid was ever asked if they wanted to be brought to this world. giving up on your dreams to raise you kids or spending a lot of money on them is your decision !!! the purpose of bringing a kid to this world is to help them becoming who they are deep inside. not to shape them like clay into what yu want them to be. and it they take some distances from you that's your fault and it means you were bad parents 15 15points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Or if they get some distance, it's because you gave them strength to follow their dreams.... 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago kinda different !! geographic distance doesn't mean forgetting about people 2 2points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Some people act as if it does, however, as I found out when I moved away. My mom was so happy that I called her, visited. My one relative *still* gripes that I 'left the family". No, but I'm starting to not regret leaving town. My mom moved to retire near me b/c the same relative got on her case about so much! 1 1point reply Lynn Colombo Lynn Colombo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not that simple. You can be a good parent and still have a rift with your adult child. 1 1point reply Laritza Ortega Laritza Ortega Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) There is a rift because there is no understanding. Both adults share different views on different topics. Parents often misunderstand that their adult children make choices to benefit their own lifestyles and NOT to “hurt” their parents. So many parent-children relationships could be saved if respect for how you choose to live was shown. 0 0points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If "they take some distances from you that's your fault and it means you were bad parents". If only life were that monochrome! 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no idea why some people think we owe some kind of groveling adulation to our parents. My dad beat us. He didn't earn my love or my respect as a parent. I wouldn't leave him to die, but I wouldn't do that to a total stranger... b/c my MOM raised me, and encouraged me to be an individual, make choices, be adult, and if I wanted to move far away, hey, she'll be happy to see my when she can. She earned my respect as an adult, she gave enough love to me as a child that I could never be in doubt of her love, and she has never once demanded anything in return once I became an adult but the same courtesy she taught me to give to strangers. Ergo: How is it ungrateful to live your life when that life is what your parent(s) raised you to live to the best of your (not their) ability? 12 12points reply Load More Comments POST Chloe Patt Chloe Patt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Life is hard. Very hard, in fact. Children are had because parents wanted them (sometimes pressured to) either because they want to see mini versions of themselves, want the feeling of being parents, want to salvage relationships, want an heir..whatever - that's where it all starts. Parents wanted them - the kids didn't ask to be here, didn't ask parents to give up their jobs, etc. When you decide to bring a human being into this world, you have responsibilities - to raise them until they are able to take care of themselves. That is your responsibility as someone who decided to create a human into this life where they'll have to live for 70+ years and go through a massive amount of events, many unpleasant/upsetting. So I agree with the lady. 22 22points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So, all children are planned and wanted? Interesting. -3 -3points reply Load More Replies... Raven DeathShade Raven DeathShade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And those who aren't, I want to care for. It is a terrible tragedy that there are still homeless children, children who were kicked out of the house due to sexuality or some other cause, etc. I want to help them. 1 1point reply V-V V-V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The children who weren't planned, even more, shouldn't have to pay for their parents mistakes If their parents didn't intentionally create them, yet believe their kids owe them something, that's messed up. 0 0points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago So to avoid that situation, is your view that all unplanned children should be aborted so they do not have to "pay for their parents mistakes"? 0 0points reply Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago she is so right !!! your kids don't owe you anything. parenting was your job !! having a kid was your decision. no kid was ever asked if they wanted to be brought to this world. giving up on your dreams to raise you kids or spending a lot of money on them is your decision !!! the purpose of bringing a kid to this world is to help them becoming who they are deep inside. not to shape them like clay into what yu want them to be. and it they take some distances from you that's your fault and it means you were bad parents 15 15points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Or if they get some distance, it's because you gave them strength to follow their dreams.... 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Abhinc Abhinc Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago kinda different !! geographic distance doesn't mean forgetting about people 2 2points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Some people act as if it does, however, as I found out when I moved away. My mom was so happy that I called her, visited. My one relative *still* gripes that I 'left the family". No, but I'm starting to not regret leaving town. My mom moved to retire near me b/c the same relative got on her case about so much! 1 1point reply Lynn Colombo Lynn Colombo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It's not that simple. You can be a good parent and still have a rift with your adult child. 1 1point reply Laritza Ortega Laritza Ortega Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) There is a rift because there is no understanding. Both adults share different views on different topics. Parents often misunderstand that their adult children make choices to benefit their own lifestyles and NOT to “hurt” their parents. So many parent-children relationships could be saved if respect for how you choose to live was shown. 0 0points reply Rob Dabank Rob Dabank Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If "they take some distances from you that's your fault and it means you were bad parents". If only life were that monochrome! 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I have no idea why some people think we owe some kind of groveling adulation to our parents. My dad beat us. He didn't earn my love or my respect as a parent. I wouldn't leave him to die, but I wouldn't do that to a total stranger... b/c my MOM raised me, and encouraged me to be an individual, make choices, be adult, and if I wanted to move far away, hey, she'll be happy to see my when she can. She earned my respect as an adult, she gave enough love to me as a child that I could never be in doubt of her love, and she has never once demanded anything in return once I became an adult but the same courtesy she taught me to give to strangers. Ergo: How is it ungrateful to live your life when that life is what your parent(s) raised you to live to the best of your (not their) ability? 12 12points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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