Woman Tells Her Fiancé She Wants To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife And They Get Into A Heated Argument Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Woman Tells Her Fiancé She Wants To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife And They Get Into A Heated Argument Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 119points 1.4K People, Social Issues1 year ago
Woman Tells Her Fiancé She Wants To Be A Stay-At-Home Wife And They Get Into A Heated Argument
Rokas Laurinavičius and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Even if you've been seeing someone for a long time, it can be tricky to know if you're ready to spend the rest of your lives together. After all, nobody is 100 percent sure about the future. You just gather as much information as you can and trust your gut. A week ago, one man created a Reddit account to ask other users for help in navigating a tough spot. He had known his partner for years and one of the reasons why he admired the woman so much was her ambition. However, after they got engaged, she said something that completely changed the way he looked at her. The woman confessed she wanted to quit her job and be a stay-at-home-wife. This led to a heated argument, calling each other names and even rethinking the entire relationship. Asking people whether or not he was in the wrong, here's what the man wrote. Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo) Image credits: lazy-fiancee Lisa Burton, aka The Bridal Consultant, who plans affordable and memorable weddings abroad in Greece and Italy, acknowledged that sometimes couples fall apart during what should be the preparation for the rest of their lives. "I sadly have at least 2 weddings cancelled each year for varying reasons and often it's due to the bride or groom having changed their mind about getting married," Burton told Bored Panda. "I met with a couple once to discuss their plans and I could tell from the groom's body language that he had no interest in their wedding. He was very distant the whole time. So I wasn't completely surprised when the bride called me a few months later to tell me the wedding was off due to the groom having an ongoing affair for the last 2 years." Burton recalled another couple who had a huge fall out on their actual wedding day, causing the groom to leave and the bride had her last dance with one of the waiters. Unfortunately, the wedding planner has not yet had a couple cancel a wedding and then rebook it. "This is not to say this doesn't happen but maybe they're too embarrassed to rebook their wedding with me," she said. "A couple really need to have thorough practical and honest, conversations before they decide to marry, discussing details such as, how many children they'd like and who will raise the children, but also, lifestyle, financial and career goals need to be discussed," Burton said. Having been married for nearly 18 years and together almost 25, Lisa's own experiences have taught her these are conversations you naturally have from early in your relationship. "The excitement of finding the one leads you to dream of your future together, so if these conversations are not had, then you need to consider if you're with the right partner." "Some dream of getting married from an early age and when they're proposed to, the excitement of the fairytale coming true often takes over any practical reality of discussing a future together," Burton explained. "It's actually very much the same, but now you're legally committed to each other." After the story went viral the OP provided more insight into the situation
Other experts agree that there is no magic time frame, no special sweet spot for people to get engaged. "There are some couples who know on the first date that they've found the one and get engaged quickly, while others take the time to get to know someone well before putting a ring on it," online dating expert and digital matchmaker Julie Spira told BRIDES. Just like Lisa Burton, Spira is of the opinion, that a couple should go through all seasons together at the very least so that they surpass the honeymoon period before determining whether or not to stay together for life. "Everyone puts their best foot forward during the courting stage, which is typically the first three months of the relationship. When [everything] is brand new, you haven't gone through the bumps on the road together, traveled on vacation together, or gone through a traumatic event such as the death of a family member or loss of a job." One study published by researchers at Emory University in Atlanta also supports this line of thought. It found that couples who'd been together at least three years before they got engaged were 39 percent less likely to get divorced than couples who got engaged within the first year of dating. But as we can see, nothing is guaranteed even then. People thought his reaction was appropriate
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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The woman went from being career driven to the complete opposite? And she's clamming up about reasons why? Maybe it's a mental health thing? Maybe something bad happened at work? Regardless, communication is key here, not name calling. 55 55points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It would be a huge shock and without any prior warning I can see why he had the reaction he did. Also, she is not communicating why, just saying she doesn't think the 9-5 life isn't for her but almost everyone feels that way, depression rates are super high for a reason. I hate working 9-5 and deal with mental health, but he can only respond to what she is providing him with. I would be beyond livid to have my husband drop that bomb on me. I would assume that she never had any other ambition but to be a house wife that entire time and honestly I would feel lied to. She could have a better reason but it mostly seems like she is selfish and she hasn't given him a reason to feel otherwise. My husband will stay at home when we have kids because I make around 3 times more than him but we have talked about that for years. It isn't something you just blind side someone with. His reaction to be angry is justifiable and her being manipulative is not okay. Completely on her. 26 26points reply Load More Replies... Jason Swick Jason Swick Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I think it's a case of an unreliable narrator. Probably the a-hole -4 -4points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Yeah, instead of asking her if she is okay, he just calls her lazy. Maybe her work environment is toxic or she is depressed. How can you not have empathy for someone you supposedly love and want to marry. -13 -13points reply Aliquid A Aliquid A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well on the flip side: Why won't she be open and honest about her reasons with someone she supposedly loves and wants to marry? 22 22points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. @Aliquid A, well if his first reaction is to get mad and post about it on internet, I guess its hard to share anything with him. -5 -5points reply Lillukka79 Lillukka79 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago But it wasn't his firts reaction. His first reaction was asking her why and she didn't answer. 2 2points reply Popescu Adina Popescu Adina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Well, I would get angry too... it's a huge bomb and has not reasons attached to it except that it's her dream. He has the right to freak out if they can't afford their life style. Just imagine the huge burden he will have on his back... I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. And he did ask more than once, and didn't get a reasonable explanation just some BS. If this were a woman, you wouldn't be jumping to defend the lazy spouse... 2 2points reply Flip Flip Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Because it's stupid. You can pay for that the rest of your life. When it's a guy who doesn't want to work and you date him anyway, they call you unbelievably stupid and he's a lazy bum, but when it's a woman: oooh do you feel okay? 100 percent sure she won't return the favor when he wants to quit working. 4 4points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. @Flip, and then everyone clapped. -8 -8points reply Samantha Lomb Samantha Lomb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would say run. This seems like a big thing to spring on someone after three years. And the fact that she has no plans for the time, but seems to want to be a kept woman is a red flag. I can understand not wanting to work 9-5, but there are plenty of jobs though that are not 9-5 ( mine for example and I love it) that allow greater flexibility while still contributing to the household. 47 47points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You want his money, he said no. After 3 years of dating???? You're right Samantha, he should run like a rabbit. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Evelyn Haskins Evelyn Haskins Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. SHe should give the selfish &&&&&&&&& a miss. If she has to work in a drab underpaid job to continue to support herself why marry the bloke, You can bet your bottom dollar that he will expect his wife to wait on him hand a foot, -7 -7points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Maybe she is in a career where she has dead-ended and knows it and can't figure it out? But I think both parties are out of order. She stated being willing (by his account) to scale back lifestyle. So I don't think she's after being "kept". She has something going on she can't tell him.... and that tells me they need to break up NOW. Before it gets worse. Whatever it is. IMHO -8 -8points reply Flip Flip Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And if it was not a she but a he? I had guys who wanted to live cheap on my income and become a 'houseman'. No thanks. 2 2points reply John Louis John Louis Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Is it possible to hear what she has to say? I am always cautiously interested in making sure the story as presented represents all the facts. 34 34points reply Sergio Bicerra Sergio Bicerra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is from Reddit, so is very very rare to see both sides, si you have to stick to the facts posters provide. But yeah, it would be super interesting to view the wife's side. 6 6points reply Load More Replies... Jo Firth Jo Firth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's not sharing why with her husband - why on earth do you think she'll share with you? 5 5points reply Popescu Adina Popescu Adina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago It's not possible since she didn't want to offer him a reason so he couldn't tell... he is the one complaining so he tells as much as he knows (or wants to share). 2 2points reply Aliquid A Aliquid A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I'm certainly curious as to her take on the story, she might bring all sorts of additional information that we didn't consider. BUT of course it isn't "possible to hear what she has to say"... why are you even asking? How on earth would you suggest that we get that information, and who do you suggest tracks it down? -4 -4points reply Rana Naeem Rana Naeem Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I basically make about $6,000-$8,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 10-13 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it….. ===))> ???.???????.??? -17 -17points reply Load More Comments POST Christie McDermid Christie McDermid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Something's not adding up. The woman went from being career driven to the complete opposite? And she's clamming up about reasons why? Maybe it's a mental health thing? Maybe something bad happened at work? Regardless, communication is key here, not name calling. 55 55points reply Ivana Ivana Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago It would be a huge shock and without any prior warning I can see why he had the reaction he did. Also, she is not communicating why, just saying she doesn't think the 9-5 life isn't for her but almost everyone feels that way, depression rates are super high for a reason. I hate working 9-5 and deal with mental health, but he can only respond to what she is providing him with. I would be beyond livid to have my husband drop that bomb on me. I would assume that she never had any other ambition but to be a house wife that entire time and honestly I would feel lied to. She could have a better reason but it mostly seems like she is selfish and she hasn't given him a reason to feel otherwise. My husband will stay at home when we have kids because I make around 3 times more than him but we have talked about that for years. It isn't something you just blind side someone with. His reaction to be angry is justifiable and her being manipulative is not okay. Completely on her. 26 26points reply Load More Replies... Jason Swick Jason Swick Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I think it's a case of an unreliable narrator. Probably the a-hole -4 -4points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Yeah, instead of asking her if she is okay, he just calls her lazy. Maybe her work environment is toxic or she is depressed. How can you not have empathy for someone you supposedly love and want to marry. -13 -13points reply Aliquid A Aliquid A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well on the flip side: Why won't she be open and honest about her reasons with someone she supposedly loves and wants to marry? 22 22points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. @Aliquid A, well if his first reaction is to get mad and post about it on internet, I guess its hard to share anything with him. -5 -5points reply Lillukka79 Lillukka79 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago But it wasn't his firts reaction. His first reaction was asking her why and she didn't answer. 2 2points reply Popescu Adina Popescu Adina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Well, I would get angry too... it's a huge bomb and has not reasons attached to it except that it's her dream. He has the right to freak out if they can't afford their life style. Just imagine the huge burden he will have on his back... I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. And he did ask more than once, and didn't get a reasonable explanation just some BS. If this were a woman, you wouldn't be jumping to defend the lazy spouse... 2 2points reply Flip Flip Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Because it's stupid. You can pay for that the rest of your life. When it's a guy who doesn't want to work and you date him anyway, they call you unbelievably stupid and he's a lazy bum, but when it's a woman: oooh do you feel okay? 100 percent sure she won't return the favor when he wants to quit working. 4 4points reply Sedona Sedona Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. @Flip, and then everyone clapped. -8 -8points reply Samantha Lomb Samantha Lomb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would say run. This seems like a big thing to spring on someone after three years. And the fact that she has no plans for the time, but seems to want to be a kept woman is a red flag. I can understand not wanting to work 9-5, but there are plenty of jobs though that are not 9-5 ( mine for example and I love it) that allow greater flexibility while still contributing to the household. 47 47points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You want his money, he said no. After 3 years of dating???? You're right Samantha, he should run like a rabbit. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Evelyn Haskins Evelyn Haskins Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. SHe should give the selfish &&&&&&&&& a miss. If she has to work in a drab underpaid job to continue to support herself why marry the bloke, You can bet your bottom dollar that he will expect his wife to wait on him hand a foot, -7 -7points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Maybe she is in a career where she has dead-ended and knows it and can't figure it out? But I think both parties are out of order. She stated being willing (by his account) to scale back lifestyle. So I don't think she's after being "kept". She has something going on she can't tell him.... and that tells me they need to break up NOW. Before it gets worse. Whatever it is. IMHO -8 -8points reply Flip Flip Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And if it was not a she but a he? I had guys who wanted to live cheap on my income and become a 'houseman'. No thanks. 2 2points reply John Louis John Louis Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Is it possible to hear what she has to say? I am always cautiously interested in making sure the story as presented represents all the facts. 34 34points reply Sergio Bicerra Sergio Bicerra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This is from Reddit, so is very very rare to see both sides, si you have to stick to the facts posters provide. But yeah, it would be super interesting to view the wife's side. 6 6points reply Load More Replies... Jo Firth Jo Firth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago She's not sharing why with her husband - why on earth do you think she'll share with you? 5 5points reply Popescu Adina Popescu Adina Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago It's not possible since she didn't want to offer him a reason so he couldn't tell... he is the one complaining so he tells as much as he knows (or wants to share). 2 2points reply Aliquid A Aliquid A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I'm certainly curious as to her take on the story, she might bring all sorts of additional information that we didn't consider. BUT of course it isn't "possible to hear what she has to say"... why are you even asking? How on earth would you suggest that we get that information, and who do you suggest tracks it down? -4 -4points reply Rana Naeem Rana Naeem Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I basically make about $6,000-$8,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 10-13 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it….. ===))> ???.???????.??? -17 -17points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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