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Viral Tweet Starts A Discussion On Whether Splitting Bills Evenly Is Unfair

Rokas Laurinavičius and
Ilona Baliūnaitė
One practicality that couples need to talk through, preferably before getting married, is what their monetary policy will be going forward. After all, arguments about money can take a huge toll on a relationship. How to split expenses is usually the first question in this discussion. There are plenty of different ways to do it and no single solution works for all, but according to creative consultant Keshav Kant, the primary principle remains the same: the division of financial responsibility in a relationship should be equitable, not equal. Recently, Kant turned to Twitter to explain what she means by that and her thoughts instantly struck a chord with other users. As of this article, Kant's tweet has nearly 100K likes. Plus, people are expanding on it, providing their own thoughts and experiences, and making the argument even stronger. Image credits: MxKantEven Kant said her tweet was inspired by another story she had read online. "There was a Reddit thread created by someone who was wealthy and in a relationship with someone who wasn't. They all went on a vacation with their family (who are also wealthy), and during the vacation, the original poster's partner didn't go out as much, skipped meals, etc. because she couldn't afford to pay as much," Kant told Bored Panda. "After the vacation was over they had a fight about money, he claimed she should've never gone if she couldn't afford it because their relationship was 50:50. That inspired [my original] tweet, because that kind of division of money isn't realistic," she explained. "He's a man, and statistically likely to make more than the women in his life. He's also from a wealthy family, and has generational wealth, whereas she doesn't. So he (and other people who are more financially secure than their partners) should pay equitably." According to Kant, most people on Twitter agreed and said that's how it should be, but some claimed that it should only be 50-50. "The majority of the negative replies came from men claiming that this is just women trying to take advantage of them. Which is ridiculous because my statement applies to anyone who's the wealthier person in a relationship, regardless of their gender." Image credits: MxKantEven Money can make or break people's lives, Kant said, and a relationship without clear financial expectations can create a lot of stress and hostility. "If you're planning to stay together long term, you need to have a good understanding of what your combined financial state and needs are so you can build a solid life together," she explained. Kant wants people to understand that her statement doesn't exist in a vacuum. "Money is never just a neutral thing and there are a million things to consider when you are in a relationship," she said. "Financial agreements like the one I talked about in my tweet are ever-evolving. They should be regularly updated and changed as needed so that everyone involved feels satisfied with their part in the financial responsibilities. Outside of shared finances, couples should always work out how to save money independently, because sometimes relationships end and that's okay. It's just a matter of planning and preparedness."

People say this line of thinking makes a lot of sense

Image credits: badwolftx Image credits: badwolftx Experts at the National Bank of Canada agree. The 50/50 split works when both people are making more or less the same. But if there is a significant salary gap between them, the distribution of expenses is more balanced if each contributes proportionally to their income. The equation is really simple too: all you have to do is calculate what percentage of total household income is earned by each person and then apply this percentage to the total monthly budget. Let's take this hypothetical situation as an example: one of the spouses earns $75,000 per year and the other $25,000. The monthly household budget is $5,000. How do they allocate the expenses? The spouse who earns $75,000 transfers $3,750 to the joint account (or 75% of $5,000) and the other transfers the remaining $1,250 (25% of $5,000). Thus, each partner is contributing to shared expenses in relation to their financial capacity. Image credits: HalfBougie Image credits: DezireeBrock Image credits: DPB0101 48% of Americans who are married or living with a partner say they argue with the person over money, according to a survey by The Cashlorette. Most of those fights are about spending habits: 60% said that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap. These conflicts can have serious consequences. In many cases, they are the number one predictor of whether or not you'll end up divorced, according to a study of more than 4,500 couples. "Financial disagreements did predict divorce more strongly than other common problem areas like disagreements over household tasks or spending time together," the authors concluded. Better to sort these things out! Image credits: madw Image credits: ImDaveKnight Image credits: geofflangdale Image credits: _Zuks Image credits: WCBusch Image credits: mrstownloner Image credits: mrstownloner Image credits: agnesbookbinder Image credits: ehhmj Image credits: thai111 Image credits: StacySwole Image credits: shantismurf Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Ilona Baliūnaitė Ilona Baliūnaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Ilona is a photo editor at Bored Panda with an MA in Communication Of Creative Society. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a social media manager and freelance graphic designer. When she is not photoshopping or searching for the most interesting photos for stories, she is usually watching good movies and says that The Godfather is the best. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million What do you think ? POST Hiker Chick Hiker Chick Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I may be old school, but these posts are weird to me. I was married for almost 25 years. We had joint bank accounts, both paychecks went in. We agreed on expenditures. When he quit his job to go back to school in his 30's, I covered all expenses. When I quit my job to stay home with the babies, he covered expenses. Like, it wasn't "my money" or "his money", we were just a married couple going through life. Have things changed or are most people distrustful of their partners? I see a lot of these posts and wonder if this is a new thing. 34 34points reply NsG NsG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago We have a joint account AND separate accounts. That way he can buy himself a new gaming mouse OR buy me a diamond ring without me then having to rebudget our household finances, because it's not part of the household finances. And I dont want to know how much he spent on my birthday this year because he has a tendency to feel guilty for "overspending". But, I think the most significant influence is that he comes from a family where his mother has been divorced three times. He trusts me completely (I'm the safe financial planner in the relationship) - its just hard to undo the financial lessons learned over his formative years. 11 11points reply Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago From day 1 we put our incomes together and my wife handles the finances. All of our monthly payments like mortgage, utilities, house and car insurance premiums and some taxes are paid automatically. We never made an issue out of who is paying more or less. There were times I made more than my wife, but it's also has been the other way round. We think that it's kind of silly to split hairs over something as ridiculous as money and who earns more in our marriage. 6 6points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My husband and I have an account for bills and mortgage an account for groceries gas clothes etc and 2 business accounts we keep all of our money together and talk to one another when we need to spend money on a big purchase. It's strange to me too that the younger generations are keeping everything separate but I understand why they're doing it. It does seem counter productive in a lot of relationships though. One seems to suffer and if you have kids it will not work to keep everything separate. If the child needs something someone will have to pay no matter what. 5 5points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I’m a millennial and it’s weird to me too, and kind of gross. Imagine having a child with someone who still won’t share financially. The whole concept is one big insult and kind of a complete miss on the point of marriage and partnership. 5 5points reply Random Panda Random Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) My husband and I have separate accounts, but we don't think of the money as "his" and "mine", it's ours. It doesn't matter to us who is paying what bill. We make all financial decisions together and big purchases (personal or not) are always discussed, so this works for us. However there are couples where one partner is financially irresponsible and in this case having separate accounts is a benefit. My parents are a prime example: my mom makes more money, but my father spends more and is bad at maintaining savings, so eventually they split the bills (i.e. one pays the electric, the other the water) and keep their money separate. Another option is to have a joint account where each partner deposits an equal percentage of their paycheck and use that for the household needs. 3 3points reply Bob Belcher Bob Belcher Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed. I'm 37 and so is my wife. We've always had several accounts. For the past 5 years I've had a good enough job where she doesn't work. That was a choice we made together. Sure we have tough months and I wish she was making some money even if just a little. But those months pass. I rather us both be happy. 2 2points reply Glynn Reid Glynn Reid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Doesn't sound old school. Sounds like a mature way to live. Once married, everything you have between you, belongs to both of you. Money is no different. I don't make x and pay X. My wife doesn't make y and pay Y. We both together make z and that Z pays for everything. 0 0points reply Chanelle Knapp Chanelle Knapp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My husband and I have been married 21 years. We have joint accounts, joint credit cards and jointly owned cars. But in practice, I have an account, a credit card and a car I use, and he has an account, credit card and car he uses. Jointly owned, but we basically each maintain one of each on our own. I think the key is that we're both pretty frugal, and don't buy a lot of "stuff". If we're going to make a large purchase (over, say $1000), we discuss first, but otherwise, not. 0 0points reply MoMcB MoMcB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I recently remarried. Both my husband and I had been married to people who looked on "our money" as an excuse to spend on themselves rather than paying the bills. For example, my ex would have bought beer and cigarettes rather than pay the rent. Neither of us wanted to be in that situation again,so before we moved in together, we made a spreadsheet to list all outgoings and who would pay fo.what what. 0 0points reply T Lee Mac T Lee Mac Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Hubby and I are the same as you. We have a checking account and we have a savings account. When we got engaged and bought our house we made the accounts joint. Neither of us would consider a large purchase without consulting the other. We are in it together 100%. Happily together for 25 years and married 20 this September. 0 0points reply Brett Connor Brett Connor Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These kids nowadays are so messed up. -2 -2points reply Leodavinci Leodavinci Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago After reading this and all the BP replies up to this point, it's no wonder the leading issue of relationship breakups is over financial matters. I have come to the conclusion that as long as both parties agree and are happy with an arrangement, it doesn't really matter what the arrangement is... be it an "equitable" one, a 50/50 split, shared account, separate accounts, shared and joint accounts, or any other arrangement. People really, really need to take off the love blinders and discuss and agree (without coercion, i.e., "If you don't agree, we won't get married.") on what they are going to do... before they do anything. Be it moving in together, getting married, or whatever. A singular, one-size-fits-all, "proper" and correct, solution does not exist. 18 18points reply Jenn Ryan Jenn Ryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My boyfriend and I have separate accounts. I write him a check for 50% of all the bills every month. We take turns buying groceries every week. When we go out, sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. Money has never been an issue or a focus in our relationship. It works for us. There is no right or wrong answer on this...I think it just comes down to good communication and balance. What works for one relationship may not work for another. 8 8points reply Load More Comments POST Hiker Chick Hiker Chick Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I may be old school, but these posts are weird to me. I was married for almost 25 years. We had joint bank accounts, both paychecks went in. We agreed on expenditures. When he quit his job to go back to school in his 30's, I covered all expenses. When I quit my job to stay home with the babies, he covered expenses. Like, it wasn't "my money" or "his money", we were just a married couple going through life. Have things changed or are most people distrustful of their partners? I see a lot of these posts and wonder if this is a new thing. 34 34points reply NsG NsG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago We have a joint account AND separate accounts. That way he can buy himself a new gaming mouse OR buy me a diamond ring without me then having to rebudget our household finances, because it's not part of the household finances. And I dont want to know how much he spent on my birthday this year because he has a tendency to feel guilty for "overspending". But, I think the most significant influence is that he comes from a family where his mother has been divorced three times. He trusts me completely (I'm the safe financial planner in the relationship) - its just hard to undo the financial lessons learned over his formative years. 11 11points reply Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago From day 1 we put our incomes together and my wife handles the finances. All of our monthly payments like mortgage, utilities, house and car insurance premiums and some taxes are paid automatically. We never made an issue out of who is paying more or less. There were times I made more than my wife, but it's also has been the other way round. We think that it's kind of silly to split hairs over something as ridiculous as money and who earns more in our marriage. 6 6points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My husband and I have an account for bills and mortgage an account for groceries gas clothes etc and 2 business accounts we keep all of our money together and talk to one another when we need to spend money on a big purchase. It's strange to me too that the younger generations are keeping everything separate but I understand why they're doing it. It does seem counter productive in a lot of relationships though. One seems to suffer and if you have kids it will not work to keep everything separate. If the child needs something someone will have to pay no matter what. 5 5points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I’m a millennial and it’s weird to me too, and kind of gross. Imagine having a child with someone who still won’t share financially. The whole concept is one big insult and kind of a complete miss on the point of marriage and partnership. 5 5points reply Random Panda Random Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago (edited) My husband and I have separate accounts, but we don't think of the money as "his" and "mine", it's ours. It doesn't matter to us who is paying what bill. We make all financial decisions together and big purchases (personal or not) are always discussed, so this works for us. However there are couples where one partner is financially irresponsible and in this case having separate accounts is a benefit. My parents are a prime example: my mom makes more money, but my father spends more and is bad at maintaining savings, so eventually they split the bills (i.e. one pays the electric, the other the water) and keep their money separate. Another option is to have a joint account where each partner deposits an equal percentage of their paycheck and use that for the household needs. 3 3points reply Bob Belcher Bob Belcher Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Agreed. I'm 37 and so is my wife. We've always had several accounts. For the past 5 years I've had a good enough job where she doesn't work. That was a choice we made together. Sure we have tough months and I wish she was making some money even if just a little. But those months pass. I rather us both be happy. 2 2points reply Glynn Reid Glynn Reid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Doesn't sound old school. Sounds like a mature way to live. Once married, everything you have between you, belongs to both of you. Money is no different. I don't make x and pay X. My wife doesn't make y and pay Y. We both together make z and that Z pays for everything. 0 0points reply Chanelle Knapp Chanelle Knapp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My husband and I have been married 21 years. We have joint accounts, joint credit cards and jointly owned cars. But in practice, I have an account, a credit card and a car I use, and he has an account, credit card and car he uses. Jointly owned, but we basically each maintain one of each on our own. I think the key is that we're both pretty frugal, and don't buy a lot of "stuff". If we're going to make a large purchase (over, say $1000), we discuss first, but otherwise, not. 0 0points reply MoMcB MoMcB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I recently remarried. Both my husband and I had been married to people who looked on "our money" as an excuse to spend on themselves rather than paying the bills. For example, my ex would have bought beer and cigarettes rather than pay the rent. Neither of us wanted to be in that situation again,so before we moved in together, we made a spreadsheet to list all outgoings and who would pay fo.what what. 0 0points reply T Lee Mac T Lee Mac Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Hubby and I are the same as you. We have a checking account and we have a savings account. When we got engaged and bought our house we made the accounts joint. Neither of us would consider a large purchase without consulting the other. We are in it together 100%. Happily together for 25 years and married 20 this September. 0 0points reply Brett Connor Brett Connor Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago These kids nowadays are so messed up. -2 -2points reply Leodavinci Leodavinci Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago After reading this and all the BP replies up to this point, it's no wonder the leading issue of relationship breakups is over financial matters. I have come to the conclusion that as long as both parties agree and are happy with an arrangement, it doesn't really matter what the arrangement is... be it an "equitable" one, a 50/50 split, shared account, separate accounts, shared and joint accounts, or any other arrangement. People really, really need to take off the love blinders and discuss and agree (without coercion, i.e., "If you don't agree, we won't get married.") on what they are going to do... before they do anything. Be it moving in together, getting married, or whatever. A singular, one-size-fits-all, "proper" and correct, solution does not exist. 18 18points reply Jenn Ryan Jenn Ryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My boyfriend and I have separate accounts. I write him a check for 50% of all the bills every month. We take turns buying groceries every week. When we go out, sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. Money has never been an issue or a focus in our relationship. It works for us. There is no right or wrong answer on this...I think it just comes down to good communication and balance. What works for one relationship may not work for another. 8 8points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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