Woman Makes Fun Of Her Vegan Co-Worker, Gets Upset When She Refuses To Try Her "Vegan" Cake Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Woman Makes Fun Of Her Vegan Co-Worker Gets Upset When She Refuses To Try Her “ Vegan” Cake Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 95points User submission 1.5K 281K Food1 year ago
Woman Makes Fun Of Her Vegan Co-Worker Gets Upset When She Refuses To Try Her “ Vegan” Cake
281Kviews Gabija Jan
Community member Setting or being respectful of other people's boundaries is an acquired skill. It can be particularly enraging when others disrespect your dietary choices. Whether you don't eat something because of your religion, ethics, or allergies, there sure is someone who would just love to see you unintentionally break these rules. Then you might hear something among the lines of "I am so proud of you for eating this thing you don't normally eat," or "Relax, bro, it's just a prank." A vegan woman came to ask the AmITheA-hole? subreddit if it was O.K. of her to refuse to try her colleague's birthday cake, which she had suspicions contained animal products. The post received 3.1k comments and over 29k upvotes. Tell us your perspective on her story and about similar experiences you've had. Since the art of developing good relationships is difficult and full of nuances, scroll down for psychologist Dr. Perpetua Neo's tips to help you navigate similar situations. More info: Reddit
It can be hard trying to not leave out a person with dietary restrictions at parties but is it okay to tell a little lie
Image credits: Jonathan McIntosh
This vegan woman asked the AmITheA-hole forum if it was okay for her to refuse to try her coworker s cake
Image credits: Reddit "A lot of us are afraid to express our NOs, but our NOs actually teach other people limits of what we are willing to accept in our lives. Our NOs teach people how to treat us. When you've got the right mindset with regards to your NOs, then they are a lot easier for the other person to honor. Whereas if you go about it in a very unconfident and very hesitant manner, then someone else would take it as 'Hmm, maybe it's O.K. to step over your boundaries,'" Dr. Perpetua Noa says, highlighting that having boundaries does not make you a pugnacious person.
Lorande9 said that her coworker Bea had to be asked repeatedly by others to respect her diet before
Image credits: Reddit She warns that if someone constantly steps over multiple people's boundaries, "chances are they are a little bit sadistic, or extremely narcissistic and entitled." Dr. Perpetua admits that the term narcissist can be overused, but that stepping over boundaries is consistent with this personality disorder. If you want to make someone respect your boundaries, she advises you to start with saying "no, I will not do this" or "no, I will not tolerate this." She adds, "say it in a firm manner and don't say it in a way that makes somebody else be apologetic for you."
Her coworker claimed that her homemade cake was vegan specifically to accommodate Lorande9
Image credits: Reddit Dr. Perpetua mentioned she likes the AmITheA-hole subreddit, where this story was posted, as it is very useful for people to understand things like boundaries and cross-cultural norms, especially for young people, those in minority ethnically or even those who just moved and want to adapt to their new environment. However, if years later, you keep asking for advice about every little thing from 50 different people, she suggests it means you do not have the skills to listen to yourself and choose to "outsource authority" instead.
Bea threw a tantrum when Lorande9 refused to try the cake
Image credits: Reddit
The subreddit community largely supported OP s decision
Dr. Perpetua agreed with the forum's consensus that the woman offering the cake was clearly bullying her vegan colleague. When talking about what HR, mentioned by so many commentators, should do in such situations, she suggested they talk to the disrespectful colleague, giving her a warning and expressing a consequence if she is not willing to change her behavior. Dr. Neo adds, "We've got quite a lot of academic studies saying that sometimes people who have alternative eating habits are a bit snobbier or more depressed, or forcing their views upon people." She added that this is a common trope in parodies, however in the same media "you don't see a meat-eater forcing a vegan to eat a hamburger or stuff like that, but clearly, in this case, the tables have been turned quite obviously." In both cases, she suggests one should not shove their choices down others' throats, but act by the rule of "do not do unto others what you don't want done unto you."
Others shared their experiences when dealing with dietary restrictions
To the co-worker's credit, it can be hard to know if a cake is 100% vegan even if it does not contain eggs or dairy, simply because plant-based products can be processed with those derived from animals. Some white sugars get their color from bone char and red velvet cake (many lipsticks as well) from cochineal insects. Figs, beer, and wine are a whole other rabbit hole. If all this time, you kept thinking "Neo, like in the Matrix? And as a psychologist, she loves going below the surface too?", yes, Dr. P. Neo goes on about her love for the trilogy on her personal website.
Some commenters debated whether the story is fictional
Dr. Perpetua Neo recommends the book Boundary Boss by Terri Cole, which can help people of any age practice setting boundaries step by step.
Others provided their input without reading
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 281Kviews Share on Facebook Follow Hungry Panda Gabija Jan Follow Unfollow Gabija Jan Author, Community member Gabija is a cinephile with an education in audiovisual arts. Has a wide array of interests including fashion, popular science, and literature. And now she found herself as a content creator right here at Bored Panda. Read more » Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Vegan Teen Expects Everyone To Accommodate Her New Diet And Stop Eating Meat At Home, Dad Disagrees Rasa Žilinskaitė 30 Times People Tried Their Hand At Making Hedgehog Cakes But Failed Miserably Mindaugas Balčiauskas Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Write comments POST Jenn Ryan Jenn Ryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sounds like a case of harassment to me. It's no ones business what her eating choices are. She doesn't make any sort of fuss about it. What gives her coworker the right to? 48 48points reply Danni Danni Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What the hell is wrong with grown ass people?! crying because a colleague wont eat your cake? my five year old wouldn't be offended by that. People have lost their minds completely! This women is a bully and an obnoxious human being to begin with, why is it her business what other people eat or don't eat? I would also file a complaint against a boss who thinks he has a right to force his employee to eat something against their will. has the world gone mental? 42 42points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And why is the boss rewarding immature behaviour and making the bully's target the one to humour this idiocy? 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Jane Doe Jane Doe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Because he thinks women are like the memes he sees with the various real housewives. He thinks they are both “in on it.” Instead of managing his staff of adults, he’s acting like they (including OP) are beyond his control. “Just get along with each other!” No, jerk, you just manage your bullying staff member and shut down her BS. 6 6points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Some people are easily manipulated by tears because they think that the cause must be something awful; then they must do what they can to prevent the tears. A more responsible manager might have called the bully into their office, closed the door, let her moan and cry, handed her a kleenex, then told her, "You're a grown woman." If the workplace has counseling as part of the benefits package, off-load the problem with someone who can help her manage her issues. She seems to have problems with impulse control and boundaries. 6 6points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ugh, I absolutely despise forced work birthday parties. Like Danni says: we're grown-ass people, not infants; work is WORK, not your family--quit forcing it. Celebrating your very special day with cake is for friends and family, not professional colleagues. 4 4points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) I don't push people to celebrate my birthday, but if someone from my team celebrates theirs, I'll join in and leave a little early. For me, December 24 was absolutely worse - I had a deadline and my desk in a high-traffic area. Between kids running around, excited adults chatting in front of my desk and and the whole f*****g world interrupting me to say "Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!" I finally burst into tears. Bless the colleague who sympathized with me. Never again. 2 2points reply FrankStellar FrankStellar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Not even a little bit asshole, but in response to some comments coeliac disease and veganism are not equivalent. 24 24points reply SentimentAndBadJokes SentimentAndBadJokes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree completely. Being vegan is a choice, but coeliac is not. Allergies and dietary choices (whilst both still important) are not one and the same. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... JayWantsACat JayWantsACat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I wouldn't classify being vegan as 100% a choice as there are people who are vegan for medical reasons. But your point remains true. 6 6points reply Max Max Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I've known people who have gone from being vegan to being vegetarian and had to be very careful 'weaning' themselves onto lactose and egg proteins. Like, unexpected animal products when you're vegan won't have as horrible effects as coeliac, but it will make you sh*t for hours if you're not careful. 5 5points reply littlesaresare littlesaresare Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What Max said. I had a restaurant put duck in my meal by mistake and it had the same effect as food poisoning. A vegan eating meat or dairy won't risk their actual health like it would for a coelic, but it still makes you feel like s**t, both mentally and physically. 3 3points reply
[email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If they have a reaction to many things that are off the vegan diet, it's easier to just eat a vegan diet instead of listing all the foods they can't eat. 0 0points reply OhForSmegSake OhForSmegSake Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Egg and dairy allergies are not a choice and here in Australia there are some people develop a rare meat allergy after being bitten by a type of tick. If you were unlucky enough to have all 3 you wouldn't be vegan by choice 3 3points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You’re ignoring the nuance and acting like they said it was literally the same thing. Intentionally obtuse. -1 -1point reply Load More Comments POST Jenn Ryan Jenn Ryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Sounds like a case of harassment to me. It's no ones business what her eating choices are. She doesn't make any sort of fuss about it. What gives her coworker the right to? 48 48points reply Danni Danni Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What the hell is wrong with grown ass people?! crying because a colleague wont eat your cake? my five year old wouldn't be offended by that. People have lost their minds completely! This women is a bully and an obnoxious human being to begin with, why is it her business what other people eat or don't eat? I would also file a complaint against a boss who thinks he has a right to force his employee to eat something against their will. has the world gone mental? 42 42points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago And why is the boss rewarding immature behaviour and making the bully's target the one to humour this idiocy? 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Jane Doe Jane Doe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Because he thinks women are like the memes he sees with the various real housewives. He thinks they are both “in on it.” Instead of managing his staff of adults, he’s acting like they (including OP) are beyond his control. “Just get along with each other!” No, jerk, you just manage your bullying staff member and shut down her BS. 6 6points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Some people are easily manipulated by tears because they think that the cause must be something awful; then they must do what they can to prevent the tears. A more responsible manager might have called the bully into their office, closed the door, let her moan and cry, handed her a kleenex, then told her, "You're a grown woman." If the workplace has counseling as part of the benefits package, off-load the problem with someone who can help her manage her issues. She seems to have problems with impulse control and boundaries. 6 6points reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Ugh, I absolutely despise forced work birthday parties. Like Danni says: we're grown-ass people, not infants; work is WORK, not your family--quit forcing it. Celebrating your very special day with cake is for friends and family, not professional colleagues. 4 4points reply Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) I don't push people to celebrate my birthday, but if someone from my team celebrates theirs, I'll join in and leave a little early. For me, December 24 was absolutely worse - I had a deadline and my desk in a high-traffic area. Between kids running around, excited adults chatting in front of my desk and and the whole f*****g world interrupting me to say "Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!" I finally burst into tears. Bless the colleague who sympathized with me. Never again. 2 2points reply FrankStellar FrankStellar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Not even a little bit asshole, but in response to some comments coeliac disease and veganism are not equivalent. 24 24points reply SentimentAndBadJokes SentimentAndBadJokes Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I agree completely. Being vegan is a choice, but coeliac is not. Allergies and dietary choices (whilst both still important) are not one and the same. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... JayWantsACat JayWantsACat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I wouldn't classify being vegan as 100% a choice as there are people who are vegan for medical reasons. But your point remains true. 6 6points reply Max Max Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I've known people who have gone from being vegan to being vegetarian and had to be very careful 'weaning' themselves onto lactose and egg proteins. Like, unexpected animal products when you're vegan won't have as horrible effects as coeliac, but it will make you sh*t for hours if you're not careful. 5 5points reply littlesaresare littlesaresare Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago What Max said. I had a restaurant put duck in my meal by mistake and it had the same effect as food poisoning. A vegan eating meat or dairy won't risk their actual health like it would for a coelic, but it still makes you feel like s**t, both mentally and physically. 3 3points reply
[email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago If they have a reaction to many things that are off the vegan diet, it's easier to just eat a vegan diet instead of listing all the foods they can't eat. 0 0points reply OhForSmegSake OhForSmegSake Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Egg and dairy allergies are not a choice and here in Australia there are some people develop a rare meat allergy after being bitten by a type of tick. If you were unlucky enough to have all 3 you wouldn't be vegan by choice 3 3points reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago You’re ignoring the nuance and acting like they said it was literally the same thing. Intentionally obtuse. -1 -1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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