MIL Pierces 3-Month-Old Baby's Ears Behind Mom's Back, Family Drama Ensues Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda MIL Pierces 3-Month-Old Baby s Ears Behind Mom s Back Family Drama Ensues Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 135points 1.8K Parenting1 year ago
MIL Pierces 3-Month-Old Baby s Ears Behind Mom s Back Family Drama Ensues
Liucija Adomaite and
Justinas Keturka
It's no secret that little things can stir up some serious issues in our extended families. Especially if it's something that involves kids and decisions made against their parents. "One tiny thing that came about when I had a daughter was ear piercing," wrote one woman on r/AITA who added she was not comfortable with the idea from the beginning. Moreover, there have been some "cultural difference issues in the past" with her husband's family. Turns out, the woman's mother-in-law decided to pierce their daughter's ears, saying it's something "she has done for all the babies in the family and it was tradition." The author of the post said that it was a turning point from which she decided not to have her "mother-in-law alone with the kids." Wondering if it was the right decision, the author has gone on Reddit to ask for advice on this whole situation. After her mother-in-law decided to pierce her granddaughter s ears behind her back this mom decided she won t allow the MIL alone with the kids
Image credits: Andrew Bardwell (not the actual photo) So she shared the incident on r AITA asking if it s the right decision
Image credits: PatientEase And this is what people had to comment on the whole situation
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Justinas Keturka Justinas Keturka Author, BoredPanda staff Justin is a photo editor at Bored Panda. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. In his spare time, he creates graphic collages and even had his first artwork exhibition at "Devilstone". Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up Ieva Pečiulytė 16 Y.O. 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I don't just mean this kind of thing, but female and male circumcision, other genital mutilation, tattoos, and any other vile mutilation in the name of "culture" or "religious tradition". 63 63points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm so with you here. I feel like this is a mutilation. For reference, I am American, and not from any culture that finds this acceptable. And I do have pierced ears. And I wanted them so badly when I was a kid, but my father, who never put his foot down on anything, put his foot down on that. Which is odd, it's not like one set of pierced ears were some fashion rage. I walked out the door on my 18th birthday and thumbed my nose at him. Literally. But he did have the last laugh when I developed a nickel allergy. All that being said, it's not that I'm against them, but I am against babies getting them, when they have no ability to even give an opinion. Even if a child is, say, 5. They at least can understand that there will be some pain, and do they like them at that age. My stepdaughter got hers pierced at 3, and remembers it to this day (she's 30). She said she had nightmares for years. But her mother wanted a little doll to dress up. And the hell with cultural norms. 12 12points reply Load More Replies... Bunzilla Bunzilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I had mine pierced at 4-5 years old, because I wanted it. I remember it fairly vividly as well. My mom asking if I was really sure, saying it would hurt, and the poor teenager at the shop who looked nervous as hell to do it. And... it didn't hurt. I felt a little pinch and that was it. They both told me I was so brave, and that confused me, haha. When I was older, I had to have one of them re-pierced, since it had closed up. Now THAT hurt like hell! I also have a nickel allergy, I'm glad there's a lot more nickel-free options now. 2 2points reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Your step daughter wouldn’t have remembered it or had nightmares about it if she had been a baby though. Piercing the ears of a three year old who doesn’t want it is a lot more messed up than doing it on a baby who won’t remember a minute later. MIL in this story is still absolutely out of line going behind the mom’s back though. 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Seriously? Just because they won't remember a terrifying, unnecessary experience, that makes it okay? 2 2points reply osbkids osbkids Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would not compare ear piercing to circumcision, but I totally agree: body modifications, especially blood shedding or alteration of normal anatomy, should not be performed on any child. It is ignorant, cruel and demonstrates sheer disrespect and disregard for young children, which is not the best example of culture. 1 1point reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The MIL is absolutely out of line, but calling pierced ears mutilation is ridiculous and insulting. I have two sets in each ear, I guess I’m double mutilated? -1 -1point reply Ray Martin Ray Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Calm down - In this case I'm talking about a baby. Pretty much every woman I know has pierced ears, and in every case it was by choice. A three month old baby can no more make an informed choice about pierced ears than it can about a tattoo or a nose ring. That's the point here, not trying to dictate what grown adults choose to do to their own bodies. 2 2points reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Mutilate means to disfigure. I am calm, but I think the description is hyperbolic and is not using the word in the correct way. I have known plenty of people who got their ears pierced as babies and it’s common for them to see it positively as it was gotten over before they can remember. Parents make lots of decisions for their kids, and ear piercings are viewed as a norm socially whereas other body mods aren’t. If it is done it should be the parent’s choice though, not the MIL’s. 2 2points reply Vladimíra Matejová Vladimíra Matejová Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago piercing ears takes a few seconds only and if you are not using the hole it will close itself. it doesnt affect your life in any way. to compare piercing ears with mutilations such as FGM which is permanent, painful and significantly lowers quality of your life is a nonsense. we pierce ears as it is considered by default women pierce their ears anyway so we do it when the child is small so she is not afraid when she is older. if she doesnt want to wear earrings it is her decision and the holes will disappear anyway. no harm here. little girls are even proud to wear earrings, but they can choose later to stop wearing them of course if they dont want to. I have pierced ears since I was a baby and I am thankful. To me for example I dont understand why americans circumsize their sons when it is not reversible and this is not considered mutilation. Apart from all this the MIL should have respected the parents and OP did well to refuse her unsupervised contact with the child. 1 1point reply WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago File a report for child abuse against the MIL. I would do that to my own mother if she would have the gall to pierce my children's ears while she knew my wife wouldn't have it. Actions do have consequences and I don't care what my relationship to you is, hurt my children or my wife's feelings and your mine. 33 33points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm with you. I think this is so beyond the pale. But I'm afraid it sounds like hubby wouldn't go along. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's an unreasonable reaction. 2 2points reply Banana Rama Banana Rama Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Unless it is consistent and/or threatening behavior. Pierced ears come with a lot of dangers as well. Babies can pull them out and rip the ear lobe, and they can get infected too. 9 9points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's always been one of my beefs with pierced ears on babies. That's crazy. 7 7points reply Francesca Annoni Francesca Annoni Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My son's nursery school forbid earrings and bracelets for child safety... for this a girls could be sent back at home until they remove the earrings.. if I have to call a babysittes or eventually stay at home from work until I can safely remove the earrings I would be very pissed... 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not really. If my dad had protected his children from HIS mother? We'd all have been better off. 5 5points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Leo, this dad is protecting them by agreeing with his wife and not letting his mother babysit again. A report of child abuse will do nothing except put even more strain on the family relationships. 1 1point reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well, Martha, give some folks an inch, they'd run a mile with it, better to close that gap. 'Cause the arrogant woman would tell ya "well you didn't mind so much before" A report of child abuse would be loud and CLEAR "you mind". 3 3points reply Delboy Delboy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not really, it is a reasonable action to report it to the police, they committed actual bodily harm to the child, they purposely put holes in her ears! 1 1point reply Just saying Just saying Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago There are ways grown ups can sort these things out that can be tried before jumping straight to litigation or the police. Ear piercing without permission is a violation but is not a criminal act. 1 1point reply WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Oh yes, it is. Ear piercing is literally shooting a needle through the earlobe. It's painful and it was done without the consent of the parents. No mercy for the idiots who think that they are entitled to do whatever they want. 0 0points reply Jus Jus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My idea of a husband, awesome 0 0points reply Gene Perry Gene Perry Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd have the MIL arrested for assulting a child 0 0points reply Ezigma Ezigma Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Lol 0 0points reply Andrew Bridge Andrew Bridge Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah it's hilarious, look at how much I'm laughing at this in my avatar here 0 0points reply NsG NsG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I am 100% with the person who asked "but what about YOUR traditions?". Having it all one way, where there are still two separate influences is not good for a successful relationship and raising of children. If OP hasn't fully embraced and bought into her husband's culture she still has her OWN to consider and that is being overridden and obliterated in the rudest way possible. 29 29points reply Just saying Just saying Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Although it does sound like they've talked all this through as mature and equal adults and come to decisions together about this - we can see that they have decided together to honour some traditions and to leave other traditions that they as a couple are unhappy with. AND the husband backs his wife in the things she feel strongly about. Sounds like a pretty good relationship to me. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Vladimíra Matejová Vladimíra Matejová Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago to me it seems OP just described the situation from her western "default" opinion. anything what is her tradition she considers a default while husband's tradition is "his culture" she also wants to keep. they probably keep the best from both the traditions she just used a wrong word choice to describe it 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Ray Martin Ray Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Any "traditions" that involve the mutilation of children (or any person who cannot give informed consent) should be completely excised from the world. I don't just mean this kind of thing, but female and male circumcision, other genital mutilation, tattoos, and any other vile mutilation in the name of "culture" or "religious tradition". 63 63points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm so with you here. I feel like this is a mutilation. For reference, I am American, and not from any culture that finds this acceptable. And I do have pierced ears. And I wanted them so badly when I was a kid, but my father, who never put his foot down on anything, put his foot down on that. Which is odd, it's not like one set of pierced ears were some fashion rage. I walked out the door on my 18th birthday and thumbed my nose at him. Literally. But he did have the last laugh when I developed a nickel allergy. All that being said, it's not that I'm against them, but I am against babies getting them, when they have no ability to even give an opinion. Even if a child is, say, 5. They at least can understand that there will be some pain, and do they like them at that age. My stepdaughter got hers pierced at 3, and remembers it to this day (she's 30). She said she had nightmares for years. But her mother wanted a little doll to dress up. And the hell with cultural norms. 12 12points reply Load More Replies... Bunzilla Bunzilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I had mine pierced at 4-5 years old, because I wanted it. I remember it fairly vividly as well. My mom asking if I was really sure, saying it would hurt, and the poor teenager at the shop who looked nervous as hell to do it. And... it didn't hurt. I felt a little pinch and that was it. They both told me I was so brave, and that confused me, haha. When I was older, I had to have one of them re-pierced, since it had closed up. Now THAT hurt like hell! I also have a nickel allergy, I'm glad there's a lot more nickel-free options now. 2 2points reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Your step daughter wouldn’t have remembered it or had nightmares about it if she had been a baby though. Piercing the ears of a three year old who doesn’t want it is a lot more messed up than doing it on a baby who won’t remember a minute later. MIL in this story is still absolutely out of line going behind the mom’s back though. 0 0points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Seriously? Just because they won't remember a terrifying, unnecessary experience, that makes it okay? 2 2points reply osbkids osbkids Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I would not compare ear piercing to circumcision, but I totally agree: body modifications, especially blood shedding or alteration of normal anatomy, should not be performed on any child. It is ignorant, cruel and demonstrates sheer disrespect and disregard for young children, which is not the best example of culture. 1 1point reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago The MIL is absolutely out of line, but calling pierced ears mutilation is ridiculous and insulting. I have two sets in each ear, I guess I’m double mutilated? -1 -1point reply Ray Martin Ray Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Calm down - In this case I'm talking about a baby. Pretty much every woman I know has pierced ears, and in every case it was by choice. A three month old baby can no more make an informed choice about pierced ears than it can about a tattoo or a nose ring. That's the point here, not trying to dictate what grown adults choose to do to their own bodies. 2 2points reply Nia Loves Art Nia Loves Art Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Mutilate means to disfigure. I am calm, but I think the description is hyperbolic and is not using the word in the correct way. I have known plenty of people who got their ears pierced as babies and it’s common for them to see it positively as it was gotten over before they can remember. Parents make lots of decisions for their kids, and ear piercings are viewed as a norm socially whereas other body mods aren’t. If it is done it should be the parent’s choice though, not the MIL’s. 2 2points reply Vladimíra Matejová Vladimíra Matejová Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago piercing ears takes a few seconds only and if you are not using the hole it will close itself. it doesnt affect your life in any way. to compare piercing ears with mutilations such as FGM which is permanent, painful and significantly lowers quality of your life is a nonsense. we pierce ears as it is considered by default women pierce their ears anyway so we do it when the child is small so she is not afraid when she is older. if she doesnt want to wear earrings it is her decision and the holes will disappear anyway. no harm here. little girls are even proud to wear earrings, but they can choose later to stop wearing them of course if they dont want to. I have pierced ears since I was a baby and I am thankful. To me for example I dont understand why americans circumsize their sons when it is not reversible and this is not considered mutilation. Apart from all this the MIL should have respected the parents and OP did well to refuse her unsupervised contact with the child. 1 1point reply WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago File a report for child abuse against the MIL. I would do that to my own mother if she would have the gall to pierce my children's ears while she knew my wife wouldn't have it. Actions do have consequences and I don't care what my relationship to you is, hurt my children or my wife's feelings and your mine. 33 33points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'm with you. I think this is so beyond the pale. But I'm afraid it sounds like hubby wouldn't go along. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's an unreasonable reaction. 2 2points reply Banana Rama Banana Rama Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago (edited) Unless it is consistent and/or threatening behavior. Pierced ears come with a lot of dangers as well. Babies can pull them out and rip the ear lobe, and they can get infected too. 9 9points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago That's always been one of my beefs with pierced ears on babies. That's crazy. 7 7points reply Francesca Annoni Francesca Annoni Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago My son's nursery school forbid earrings and bracelets for child safety... for this a girls could be sent back at home until they remove the earrings.. if I have to call a babysittes or eventually stay at home from work until I can safely remove the earrings I would be very pissed... 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not really. If my dad had protected his children from HIS mother? We'd all have been better off. 5 5points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago @Leo, this dad is protecting them by agreeing with his wife and not letting his mother babysit again. A report of child abuse will do nothing except put even more strain on the family relationships. 1 1point reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Well, Martha, give some folks an inch, they'd run a mile with it, better to close that gap. 'Cause the arrogant woman would tell ya "well you didn't mind so much before" A report of child abuse would be loud and CLEAR "you mind". 3 3points reply Delboy Delboy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Not really, it is a reasonable action to report it to the police, they committed actual bodily harm to the child, they purposely put holes in her ears! 1 1point reply Just saying Just saying Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago There are ways grown ups can sort these things out that can be tried before jumping straight to litigation or the police. Ear piercing without permission is a violation but is not a criminal act. 1 1point reply WilvanderHeijden WilvanderHeijden Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago Oh yes, it is. Ear piercing is literally shooting a needle through the earlobe. It's painful and it was done without the consent of the parents. No mercy for the idiots who think that they are entitled to do whatever they want. 0 0points reply Jus Jus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My idea of a husband, awesome 0 0points reply Gene Perry Gene Perry Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago I'd have the MIL arrested for assulting a child 0 0points reply Ezigma Ezigma Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Lol 0 0points reply Andrew Bridge Andrew Bridge Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Yeah it's hilarious, look at how much I'm laughing at this in my avatar here 0 0points reply NsG NsG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 year ago I am 100% with the person who asked "but what about YOUR traditions?". Having it all one way, where there are still two separate influences is not good for a successful relationship and raising of children. If OP hasn't fully embraced and bought into her husband's culture she still has her OWN to consider and that is being overridden and obliterated in the rudest way possible. 29 29points reply Just saying Just saying Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago Although it does sound like they've talked all this through as mature and equal adults and come to decisions together about this - we can see that they have decided together to honour some traditions and to leave other traditions that they as a couple are unhappy with. AND the husband backs his wife in the things she feel strongly about. Sounds like a pretty good relationship to me. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Vladimíra Matejová Vladimíra Matejová Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 year ago to me it seems OP just described the situation from her western "default" opinion. anything what is her tradition she considers a default while husband's tradition is "his culture" she also wants to keep. they probably keep the best from both the traditions she just used a wrong word choice to describe it 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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Son Tells His Parents He’ll Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out They’re Paying For Sister’s Education Yet Didn’t Pay For His Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed 50 Times Teachers Hung The Funniest Signs In Their Classrooms And They Ended Up Being Praised Online Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them 50 Times People Spotted Stupid Design Decisions In Public Places And Just Had To Share Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics) The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. 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