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Petty Husband Sparks Family Drama After Throwing Out All The Traditional Food His Loving Wife Made For Her Family

159Kviews Jonas Grinevičius and
Denis Tymulis
Some slight disagreements are par for course in most relationships, as nobody's perfect. But when it comes to food and cooking… things can get a bit extremely spicy. Case in point, redditor u/Throwar563577 shared the family drama that happened with her husband when her family were supposed to visit. The thing that you need to know about the redditor's husband is that he absolutely loathes the traditional Asian food that she makes for her relatives. So much so that he refuses to even touch the food. Another bone of contention for him is that his wife refuses to make any other meals until all the leftovers are finished. And considering that the husband doesn't cook, he's left grumbling and eating fast food. Things got incredibly heated, however, when the husband threw away all of the food his wife had prepared for her family. They got into an argument, and things quickly got out of hand. You can read the full story in the redditor's own words below, dear Pandas. It just goes to show how important open and honest communication is when it comes to chores and grievances. Bored Panda reached out to pie artist and cooking expert Jessica Clark-Bojin to hear her opinion about the situation, what to do if our partners have issues with the smells and the flavors of certain dishes, and what lies at the core of confidence in the kitchen. "With time and patience and a bit of humor you can adjust your palate over time," Jessica points out. "Remember that at the end of the day the reason behind all the time we spend preparing traditional food and learning fancy cooking and baking techniques is to create memorable happy experiences with the people we care about. Food is just food. 'Traditional food' is love. The gentleman who chucked all of his wife's cooking would do well to remember that!" Scroll down for our full interview with Jessica that delves deep into how to replace arguments over food with love and respect!

A woman shared how her husband disrespected her time and effort and caused a fierce argument

Image credits: Yuya Yoshioka

Here s the full story all in her own words

Pie artist and cooking expert Jessica explained that some dishes naturally have "very strong aromas," so some people who didn't grow up with those smells and flavors. For them, these can be "rather jarring initially." However, there are various ways around this. "If it is a significant concern for a couple, opting to convert a pantry or closet/nook into a dedicated spice kitchen-an enclosed cooking space with a special vent system to keep strong smells from entering the main kitchen-could be the perfect solution, albeit a pricey one! That's not an option for most couples, however. If the larger concern is that one of the pair 'hates' the other's traditional food, to the point of throwing away any instances of it encountered in the house, that requires a rather different approach," Jessica explained to Bored Panda and launched into the possible solutions. "The 'offended' party basically has three options, 1. Leave the house any time their spouse is cooking, and resign themselves to eating solo much of the time, 2. Guilt/bully their spouse into giving up a meaningful part of their life and never cook their traditional foods in the house again, or 3. Choose to commit to changing their attitude towards their partner's traditional food slowly over time in an effort to understand and share more fully in each other's lives. You can probably guess which one I would advocate for!" Jessica said. And we fully agree, the third path is obviously the best for a sound and healthy long-term relationship. "Although 'door number three' is not for the faint of heart, with time and patience and a bit of humor you can adjust your palate over time. Begin with micro-exposures to the flavors you find most jarring. Rather than force yourself to eat a twelve-course meal of foods you have traditionally not enjoyed, start with taking just a few of the components, such as a certain spice or flavor combination, and add a bit of them to something you do already like," the cooking expert shared with Bored Panda. "Try adding a bit of curry powder to a baked mac and cheese, or tahini instead of peanut butter in home-baked chocolate peanut butter cookies. Over time you'll get used to the flavors and will eventually become more amenable to trying a full traditional dish! It is an undertaking, no doubt, but if you care about your partner, and this is something very important to them, it's probably worth the effort." If that doesn't work out, you could always go for the old 'quid pro quo' approach. "You'll take the time to learn about and get accustomed to their traditional food if they take the time to learn about something you care deeply about, like a particular sport or hobby of yours they don't love. 'I'll learn to love kimchee if you learn to love listening to Steely Dan, watching WWE, and playing Magic the Gathering with me.' That sort of deal," she suggested. I was also interested to learn more about confidence in the kitchen. In Jessica's opinion, confidence comes from "manufacturing positive experiences" in the kitchen. Successes, large and small, are great for bolstering your confidence, but it's also vital to remember to have fun. "Nailing a complex recipe and creating something delicious that friends and family heap praise on you for is lovely, and a sure-fire way to encourage someone to get back in the kitchen for a go at another recipe. But simply having fun in the kitchen is also a great way to foster confidence and encourage experimentation," she told Bored Panda. "Baking with a friend, or friendly family member, and having a great time together even if everything is going sideways on you will keep you coming back for more. Baking together through Zoom with a friend works too! Just don't take things too seriously, have a sense of humor, and learn to laugh at your disasters as you learn from them."

Most redditors were firmly on the wife s side Here s what they had to say about the entire drama

The redditor's husband trashed all of the food his wife had cooked for her relatives who didn't show up at the last minute. That was his juvenile way of 'convincing' his partner to cook some of his favorite meals because she said she'd only do it once the fridge was empty. Of course, things didn't go according to his plan. Though he ended up apologizing, his wife promised to never cook for him again. However, she was still unsure about whether or not she did the right thing, so she shared the story on the AITA subreddit, asking for a verdict. The vast majority of people thought that her husband was clearly the one who messed up in this situation and the redditor's reaction was measured. However, what do you think, dear Pandas? Whose side are you on? Dividing up chores at home can be a headache that leads to a bunch of drama if tackled incorrectly. A bit earlier, I spoke about chores with relationship expert Dan Bacon from The Modern Man. According to him, if we want to avoid unnecessary, ongoing arguments and building up resentment, we have to be prepared to have honest conversations about practical things like chores. "Housework used to be seen as women's work only, due to a man traditionally being the breadwinner and the woman staying at home all day. Yet, in today's society, if both the man and woman are working, it's more fair, loving, and respectful for both of them to contribute to keeping the house clean," the relationship expert said. "On the other hand, if a man is the sole breadwinner and the woman stays home all day, many people would agree that she should do most or even all of the housework. That said, no one actually 'has to' do anything in a relationship," he told Bored Panda earlier. "A woman shouldn't ever force a man to do housework and a man shouldn't force a woman to do it either. Instead, the couple should honestly agree on what they feel is fair and then go with that. If it feels unfair to one of them, resentment will build up, arguments will happen and they will feel less connected and happy as a couple," Dan warned. One way to move forward is to ask your partner if it's fair, loving, and respectful for them to make you do a particular chore, e.g. cooking, all the time. "Have a conversation about how it seems like there's not enough time to do everything in today's life, but also point out that you want to enjoy a more balanced life. Then, have a discussion about what adjustments you can make, if any, to live a more balanced life," he said. "Once you've achieved that, try to make some more adjustments and keep going until you feel like you have a more enjoyable, balanced lifestyle given the circumstances. Also, keep in mind the life of each family is different. It's not possible to be exactly the same as another family, so be the best that you can be based on your circumstances." Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 159Kviews Share on Facebook Follow Hungry Panda Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Author, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Oh boo hoo. I hope she dumps his racist ass. 116 116points reply LH25 LH25 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago My brother married an Asian women because "You American women are too independent". He wouldn't listen when I tried to reason that women who didn't want to play the "traditional" role of being subservient are the ones who want to leave and come here. His wife is anything but subservient and it's been a rocky marriage. 35 35points reply Load More Replies... Metallic Geisha Metallic Geisha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Pisses me off when a desired character trait in your potential partner is 'let me own you'. Disgusting. 18 18points reply Vojtěch Valigura Vojtěch Valigura Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Metallic Geisha: That may work when the other one wants to be owned and is upfront with it. But try to force it on somebody? As you said, disgusting. 2 2points reply Chandelure F-5 Chandelure F-5 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago So how'd it go? 1 1point reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This poor woman absolutely did not need to clarify that she was Asian and her husband is American for any thinking person to conclude that she is NTA. The husband is a petulant child and has no respect for his wife. Now, is he also racist? We'll never know, but she absolutely needs to #DTMFA either way. 11 11points reply Marguerite White Marguerite White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago She's an AH. She completely ignores the fact that her husband doesn't like Asian food but expects him to not only eat it when her family visits but then until the leftovers are gone. How would you like to be served something you don't like for a week? BTW, he did feed himself by getting take out. -2 -2points reply KK KK Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Word. 4 4points reply Rachael Sampson Rachael Sampson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Well said! That's exactly what I thought. 3 3points reply Marguerite White Marguerite White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago He obviously isn't racist as he would sit at the table politely and converse with her parents. He simply doesn't like Asian food. Many don't. It is unreasonable for her to only serve something she knows her husband doesn't like and then expect him to eat leftovers until they are gone. BTW, he did feed himself by getting take out. Stop being so supersensitive. Wife is wrong. 0 0points reply Sam Kunz Sam Kunz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. So not liking a type of food makes you racist now a days? Good God what DOESN'T make you a racist? Oh yeah. Not being White. Just say you hate white people and move on. I think the husband is lazy and should cook for himself, but not liking food makes him a racist? You are beyond stupid. -5 -5points reply Suz66 Suz66 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I thought the racism remark was a stretch. It's more of a control issue, she didn't cook what HE wanted. She cooked to please her family vs. him. Didn't matter what kind of food it was. He married an Asian. -5 -5points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. The guy is a huge asshole for sure. But explain me, why he is racist? His wife is asian, a racist would never marry another man from a different race. Would you also say, he is racist, if his wife would be danish/romanian/austrian/italian, and acting in the same way ? I think no. Or would you call him racist, if he would be a black guy, not a white one? Just think a bit about.... You, guys, are overusing the term "racist", so sooner or later, it will lost it's true meaning, -16 -16points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Some people seem to think "racism" only applies to people who actively want to kill everyone who is not of their own race. Yes racists marry people of different races, have friends of other races, adopt kids from other races, etc etc. That doesn't mean they don't harbor attitudes that put down entire groups of people based on skin color or part of the world they come from. 25 25points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago THANK YOU. Back American girl here. Used to date a white American guy and he was FULL of racist comments (mostly the ignorant instead of the hateful kind, but a few of those, too). To guys like that, a girlfriend is a trophy or a servant, not a partner, and racist attitudes can easily come out in that kind of dynamic 9 9points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I hope , you were exaggerating with your first sentence, calling me dumb. Anyway, it's an unrealistic weird world there, in USA. It's okay for me, but please don't export your racial issues . You know, other countries, other cultures... in mine, for example black skinned people are called "neger" officially, and nobody is finding or meaning that racist. -16 -16points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh, yeah! Being downvoted for saying they are other cultures and countries, what differ from US, and giving an example, in what. How insecure are you guys, not accepting facts?:D -13 -13points reply classbag classbag Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Racism exists in your country. It may look a little different, but it's there. I've traveled in Europe and been friends with non-white Europeans, so I don't buy this for one split second. 9 9points reply MimSorensson MimSorensson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) And you shouldn’t, I’d say. Of COURSE there’s racism in the European countries, jeez. I’m also very confused as to what country could possibly use the word “neger” as “official” anything. It exists in swedish as well - we do not use it. Ever. It’s outdated, incorrect, racist and derogatory. Only full blown racists would ever, ever use that word under any circumstances, and the same goes for the European countries I know anything about - Scandinavian countries for sure. I don’t buy this for one split second either and I LIVE here. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Some racists are perfectly happy to have sex with people of races they consider inferior, or even marry them. They just expect the person of "inferior" race or ethnicity to consider themselves as inferior through the relationship. 15 15points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago THANK YOU. I was trying to say this before, but it didn't come out nearly so well 1 1point reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Okay, so answer, please my first question: "Would you also say, he is racist, if his wife would be danish/romanian/austrian/italian, and acting in the same way ?". Because, I think that's the big difference between our way of thinking. You are assuming, the guy is racist, just because knowing his wife is asian. I'm assuming, he is a big asshole, and it's nothing to do with race. He would act exactly the same way, with an austrian wife, if he wouldn't like the austrian kitchen. -6 -6points reply Ka Se Ka Se Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Dear Gaby, it is maybe mind blowing for you but there are quite some people of other cultures that thinking that the european people are quite inferior. This is racist too. And at least in the german language "Neger" is considered offensive and no politican - except some from parties with racist tendency - would use this word in public. I would be highly interested in witch culture "Neger" is ok. 8 8points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Hungarian...we learned so in school, and we are using without any offense, or racist note. So, please, keep your racial issues inside your borders. Thank you. -7 -7points reply Francesca Irene Chiara Bezzone Francesca Irene Chiara Bezzone Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Hi Gaby. Italian woman here. The word "negro" is offensive in Italy, but you have a point when you say it may not be in your language. It comes from Latin and it did get a negative connotation in time and while it does have racist undertones in most cultures, I accept there probably are instances where it doesn't. Italy has been having a rampant racism issue for years, but things escalated since populist movements (Lega Nord) have gained momentum. This has been happening everywhere in Europe, including - and perhaps most notoriously - in Hungary (the idea of building a wall to keep refuges out of the country came from your far right representatives I think...an idea by the way that our Lega Nord disgracefully supported). So, my point is... Don't say "keep your racist issues within your own borders," as of you didn't. Because you do, too. That said, my post doesnt want to be polemic in any way, so please don't take it personally! :) 3 3points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Why do you doubt the guy would be called racist if the wife were European? I (a black American) would call him racist for that in a second. In fact, I'd say it's almost worst because European food might be less "exotic" to an American. Plus he's AMERICAN. Part of our culture is supposed to be embracing the cultures of others, so I might be less disgusted with his behavior if he weren't American, but since he IS, it looks worse. And I'd call out an American of ANY race for this. So, yeah, he's racist. Heads up: asking a question like this in the **tone** in which you have asked might come off to people like you could be a bit racist because it might imply to others that you feel that race issues are less salient than people say they are. Minorities are everywhere, and humans are assholes, therefore, racial issues are bound to come up. Saying "keep those in your own country" might imply that if there is any kind of ethnic stratification in YOUR culture, you're blind to it or don't care? ? 1 1point reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes you’d call him racist if he was black. What the fûck? Do some of you think that non black minorities can’t experience racism at the hands of black folks? We can and certainly do. People fetishize Asian and middle eastern women a lot. 8 8points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Therefore I was asking... ;) -2 -2points reply Signe Manat Hansen Signe Manat Hansen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Go back to school, I'm begging you 6 6points reply Signe Manat Hansen Signe Manat Hansen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago I see you've made it a mission to defend racists. How sad. 4 4points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Keep your national race-issues inside your own borders. Thanks. -6 -6points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Honey, acting like racial issues are the problem of a sole nation and not a global, universally human problem is what is giving people the (hopefully) wrong impression about your attitudes on race. 4 4points reply Lillukka79 Lillukka79 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Funniest thing is, Hungary is one of the worst in europe right now with their nationalist bs. 2 2points reply Tara Raay Tara Raay Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Keep your cunty ways to yourself idiot. 0 0points reply Anto Gamunev Anto Gamunev Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago The same way u r assuming he is an asshole, others assume he is racist. That woman needs to divorce him asap. 0 0points reply Leah L Leah L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago As usual these threads are never about the incident itself. This woman married a man who does not respect her culture, her family or her. I can’t imagine he just became like this after marriage. He will not change. She needs to leave and if she makes the choice not to then she better start cooking 84 84points reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago I get what you say, however I have experience that it's not how it works. Sometimes you just don't want to notice those little hints or jokes. And yes they may be obvious for everyone except for the one. 18 18points reply Load More Replies... Pamda Panda Pamda Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Agree 100%! That's actually part of the tactic. Abusers start nice to lure in the victim and slowly up their antics. It's not a floodgate of crazy. It's a slow and malicious pushing and chipping away. One small compromise leads to another small one until one person is compromising on everything, including things they never would have before the abuse started. 15 15points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Exactly. 2 2points reply OhForSmegSake OhForSmegSake Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago You'd be surprised at how good abusers are at hiding their true nature for a long time. They use manipulation, gaslighting, and other psychological techniques to groom their victims. 4 4points reply Grace and Lucy Grace and Lucy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes and more nonsense will be in the forecast. Seems like he doesn't like to share her with the family. Bit of a King Tut, it's all about me. 3 3points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Yep. And he’s shown he’s willing to lie and manipulate. 2 2points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago There is still time for her to draw a line and see if he changes. She just needs to put her foot down hard no. 2 2points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago People rarely change, and while behaviors can be adjusted, a lack of respect is a fundamental flaw. 11 11points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago The women married a very large spoiled five-year-old, who throws temper tantrums when he's not the center of her attention. 1 1point reply lara lara Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I don't see much respect on either side. -15 -15points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago How is she disrespecting him? The only time she cooks Asian food is when her relatives visit, which is not all the time. He can make himself a forking sandwich or go out for fast food. 15 15points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago She offered to cook him a dish of his choosing all the other times that her parents ate with them and he refused but then didn't eat during the meal, at the table. Leaving her parents to question why he wasn't eating and him to tell them that he doesn't like the food to be sure they know he's not eating because they're eating Asian foods. That would hurt my feelings as well knowing that I had just offered to make him a traditional dish for himself amongst all the other cooking and he refused but complained anyway. She'd done everything else possible to cater to his needs before he showed his ass. This is not the first time lara has missed critical information to her own statement in the story. I've seen several other people tell her the same thing. 3 3points reply Rachael Sampson Rachael Sampson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago How so? She was never disrespectful to him in any way. 9 9points reply Oki Oki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Picky eater here. There are plenty of things that my SO, kids and extended families eat that I don't. That's on me, though, and if my wife cooked stuff I don't like that sucks for me but I just make something for myself. It's called being an adult. 70 70points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yeah, it's not his baby tastes that are the problem here, it's his insistence that the wife and her family should adopt his baby tastes. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... Anto Gamunev Anto Gamunev Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Im a picky eater too and I also can't eat spicy food or seeds (diverticulosis) soo sometimes I just bring my food or find some food that I can eat. I can expect the whole world to change just bc of me 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Ellis Reed Ellis Reed Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Did someone not get the subservient slave-wife from another country that he envisioned from harmful stereotypes? Oh boo hoo. I hope she dumps his racist ass. 116 116points reply LH25 LH25 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago My brother married an Asian women because "You American women are too independent". He wouldn't listen when I tried to reason that women who didn't want to play the "traditional" role of being subservient are the ones who want to leave and come here. His wife is anything but subservient and it's been a rocky marriage. 35 35points reply Load More Replies... Metallic Geisha Metallic Geisha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Pisses me off when a desired character trait in your potential partner is 'let me own you'. Disgusting. 18 18points reply Vojtěch Valigura Vojtěch Valigura Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Metallic Geisha: That may work when the other one wants to be owned and is upfront with it. But try to force it on somebody? As you said, disgusting. 2 2points reply Chandelure F-5 Chandelure F-5 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago So how'd it go? 1 1point reply FrancesCat FrancesCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This poor woman absolutely did not need to clarify that she was Asian and her husband is American for any thinking person to conclude that she is NTA. The husband is a petulant child and has no respect for his wife. Now, is he also racist? We'll never know, but she absolutely needs to #DTMFA either way. 11 11points reply Marguerite White Marguerite White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago She's an AH. She completely ignores the fact that her husband doesn't like Asian food but expects him to not only eat it when her family visits but then until the leftovers are gone. How would you like to be served something you don't like for a week? BTW, he did feed himself by getting take out. -2 -2points reply KK KK Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Word. 4 4points reply Rachael Sampson Rachael Sampson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Well said! That's exactly what I thought. 3 3points reply Marguerite White Marguerite White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago He obviously isn't racist as he would sit at the table politely and converse with her parents. He simply doesn't like Asian food. Many don't. It is unreasonable for her to only serve something she knows her husband doesn't like and then expect him to eat leftovers until they are gone. BTW, he did feed himself by getting take out. Stop being so supersensitive. Wife is wrong. 0 0points reply Sam Kunz Sam Kunz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. So not liking a type of food makes you racist now a days? Good God what DOESN'T make you a racist? Oh yeah. Not being White. Just say you hate white people and move on. I think the husband is lazy and should cook for himself, but not liking food makes him a racist? You are beyond stupid. -5 -5points reply Suz66 Suz66 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I thought the racism remark was a stretch. It's more of a control issue, she didn't cook what HE wanted. She cooked to please her family vs. him. Didn't matter what kind of food it was. He married an Asian. -5 -5points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. The guy is a huge asshole for sure. But explain me, why he is racist? His wife is asian, a racist would never marry another man from a different race. Would you also say, he is racist, if his wife would be danish/romanian/austrian/italian, and acting in the same way ? I think no. Or would you call him racist, if he would be a black guy, not a white one? Just think a bit about.... You, guys, are overusing the term "racist", so sooner or later, it will lost it's true meaning, -16 -16points reply ChickyChicky ChickyChicky Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Some people seem to think "racism" only applies to people who actively want to kill everyone who is not of their own race. Yes racists marry people of different races, have friends of other races, adopt kids from other races, etc etc. That doesn't mean they don't harbor attitudes that put down entire groups of people based on skin color or part of the world they come from. 25 25points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago THANK YOU. Back American girl here. Used to date a white American guy and he was FULL of racist comments (mostly the ignorant instead of the hateful kind, but a few of those, too). To guys like that, a girlfriend is a trophy or a servant, not a partner, and racist attitudes can easily come out in that kind of dynamic 9 9points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I hope , you were exaggerating with your first sentence, calling me dumb. Anyway, it's an unrealistic weird world there, in USA. It's okay for me, but please don't export your racial issues . You know, other countries, other cultures... in mine, for example black skinned people are called "neger" officially, and nobody is finding or meaning that racist. -16 -16points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh, yeah! Being downvoted for saying they are other cultures and countries, what differ from US, and giving an example, in what. How insecure are you guys, not accepting facts?:D -13 -13points reply classbag classbag Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Racism exists in your country. It may look a little different, but it's there. I've traveled in Europe and been friends with non-white Europeans, so I don't buy this for one split second. 9 9points reply MimSorensson MimSorensson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) And you shouldn’t, I’d say. Of COURSE there’s racism in the European countries, jeez. I’m also very confused as to what country could possibly use the word “neger” as “official” anything. It exists in swedish as well - we do not use it. Ever. It’s outdated, incorrect, racist and derogatory. Only full blown racists would ever, ever use that word under any circumstances, and the same goes for the European countries I know anything about - Scandinavian countries for sure. I don’t buy this for one split second either and I LIVE here. 0 0points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Some racists are perfectly happy to have sex with people of races they consider inferior, or even marry them. They just expect the person of "inferior" race or ethnicity to consider themselves as inferior through the relationship. 15 15points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago THANK YOU. I was trying to say this before, but it didn't come out nearly so well 1 1point reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Okay, so answer, please my first question: "Would you also say, he is racist, if his wife would be danish/romanian/austrian/italian, and acting in the same way ?". Because, I think that's the big difference between our way of thinking. You are assuming, the guy is racist, just because knowing his wife is asian. I'm assuming, he is a big asshole, and it's nothing to do with race. He would act exactly the same way, with an austrian wife, if he wouldn't like the austrian kitchen. -6 -6points reply Ka Se Ka Se Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Dear Gaby, it is maybe mind blowing for you but there are quite some people of other cultures that thinking that the european people are quite inferior. This is racist too. And at least in the german language "Neger" is considered offensive and no politican - except some from parties with racist tendency - would use this word in public. I would be highly interested in witch culture "Neger" is ok. 8 8points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Hungarian...we learned so in school, and we are using without any offense, or racist note. So, please, keep your racial issues inside your borders. Thank you. -7 -7points reply Francesca Irene Chiara Bezzone Francesca Irene Chiara Bezzone Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Hi Gaby. Italian woman here. The word "negro" is offensive in Italy, but you have a point when you say it may not be in your language. It comes from Latin and it did get a negative connotation in time and while it does have racist undertones in most cultures, I accept there probably are instances where it doesn't. Italy has been having a rampant racism issue for years, but things escalated since populist movements (Lega Nord) have gained momentum. This has been happening everywhere in Europe, including - and perhaps most notoriously - in Hungary (the idea of building a wall to keep refuges out of the country came from your far right representatives I think...an idea by the way that our Lega Nord disgracefully supported). So, my point is... Don't say "keep your racist issues within your own borders," as of you didn't. Because you do, too. That said, my post doesnt want to be polemic in any way, so please don't take it personally! :) 3 3points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Why do you doubt the guy would be called racist if the wife were European? I (a black American) would call him racist for that in a second. In fact, I'd say it's almost worst because European food might be less "exotic" to an American. Plus he's AMERICAN. Part of our culture is supposed to be embracing the cultures of others, so I might be less disgusted with his behavior if he weren't American, but since he IS, it looks worse. And I'd call out an American of ANY race for this. So, yeah, he's racist. Heads up: asking a question like this in the **tone** in which you have asked might come off to people like you could be a bit racist because it might imply to others that you feel that race issues are less salient than people say they are. Minorities are everywhere, and humans are assholes, therefore, racial issues are bound to come up. Saying "keep those in your own country" might imply that if there is any kind of ethnic stratification in YOUR culture, you're blind to it or don't care? ? 1 1point reply Mewton’s Third Paw Mewton’s Third Paw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes you’d call him racist if he was black. What the fûck? Do some of you think that non black minorities can’t experience racism at the hands of black folks? We can and certainly do. People fetishize Asian and middle eastern women a lot. 8 8points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Therefore I was asking... ;) -2 -2points reply Signe Manat Hansen Signe Manat Hansen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Go back to school, I'm begging you 6 6points reply Signe Manat Hansen Signe Manat Hansen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago I see you've made it a mission to defend racists. How sad. 4 4points reply Gaby Almodovar Gaby Almodovar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Keep your national race-issues inside your own borders. Thanks. -6 -6points reply Falanu Hlaalu Falanu Hlaalu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Honey, acting like racial issues are the problem of a sole nation and not a global, universally human problem is what is giving people the (hopefully) wrong impression about your attitudes on race. 4 4points reply Lillukka79 Lillukka79 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Funniest thing is, Hungary is one of the worst in europe right now with their nationalist bs. 2 2points reply Tara Raay Tara Raay Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Keep your cunty ways to yourself idiot. 0 0points reply Anto Gamunev Anto Gamunev Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago The same way u r assuming he is an asshole, others assume he is racist. That woman needs to divorce him asap. 0 0points reply Leah L Leah L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago As usual these threads are never about the incident itself. This woman married a man who does not respect her culture, her family or her. I can’t imagine he just became like this after marriage. He will not change. She needs to leave and if she makes the choice not to then she better start cooking 84 84points reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago I get what you say, however I have experience that it's not how it works. Sometimes you just don't want to notice those little hints or jokes. And yes they may be obvious for everyone except for the one. 18 18points reply Load More Replies... Pamda Panda Pamda Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Agree 100%! That's actually part of the tactic. Abusers start nice to lure in the victim and slowly up their antics. It's not a floodgate of crazy. It's a slow and malicious pushing and chipping away. One small compromise leads to another small one until one person is compromising on everything, including things they never would have before the abuse started. 15 15points reply Aeon Flux Aeon Flux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Exactly. 2 2points reply OhForSmegSake OhForSmegSake Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago You'd be surprised at how good abusers are at hiding their true nature for a long time. They use manipulation, gaslighting, and other psychological techniques to groom their victims. 4 4points reply Grace and Lucy Grace and Lucy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes and more nonsense will be in the forecast. Seems like he doesn't like to share her with the family. Bit of a King Tut, it's all about me. 3 3points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) Yep. And he’s shown he’s willing to lie and manipulate. 2 2points reply Martha Meyer Martha Meyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago There is still time for her to draw a line and see if he changes. She just needs to put her foot down hard no. 2 2points reply lenka lenka Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago People rarely change, and while behaviors can be adjusted, a lack of respect is a fundamental flaw. 11 11points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago The women married a very large spoiled five-year-old, who throws temper tantrums when he's not the center of her attention. 1 1point reply lara lara Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I don't see much respect on either side. -15 -15points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago How is she disrespecting him? The only time she cooks Asian food is when her relatives visit, which is not all the time. He can make himself a forking sandwich or go out for fast food. 15 15points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago She offered to cook him a dish of his choosing all the other times that her parents ate with them and he refused but then didn't eat during the meal, at the table. Leaving her parents to question why he wasn't eating and him to tell them that he doesn't like the food to be sure they know he's not eating because they're eating Asian foods. That would hurt my feelings as well knowing that I had just offered to make him a traditional dish for himself amongst all the other cooking and he refused but complained anyway. She'd done everything else possible to cater to his needs before he showed his ass. This is not the first time lara has missed critical information to her own statement in the story. I've seen several other people tell her the same thing. 3 3points reply Rachael Sampson Rachael Sampson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago How so? She was never disrespectful to him in any way. 9 9points reply Oki Oki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Picky eater here. There are plenty of things that my SO, kids and extended families eat that I don't. That's on me, though, and if my wife cooked stuff I don't like that sucks for me but I just make something for myself. It's called being an adult. 70 70points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yeah, it's not his baby tastes that are the problem here, it's his insistence that the wife and her family should adopt his baby tastes. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... Anto Gamunev Anto Gamunev Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Im a picky eater too and I also can't eat spicy food or seeds (diverticulosis) soo sometimes I just bring my food or find some food that I can eat. I can expect the whole world to change just bc of me 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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