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Viral Post Shows What Friendship Between Women Looks Like After One Of Them Has A Miscarriage

Rokas Laurinavičius and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Ashlee Gadd said the hardest part of her miscarriage was reconciling how to walk through her normal days while bleeding and grieving. "There's so much I didn't know about this kind of loss," the 35-year-old California mom of three told TODAY Parents. "I never understood how much ordinary life continues swirling around… how this process doesn't happen in a day. It lasts and lingers. I never considered how many women are walking around in public places in the process of silently miscarrying." Luckily, Gadd had people to support her. Like Anna Quinlan, a dear friend who she has known for about a decade.

Ashlee Gadd was seven weeks pregnant with her fourth child when she learned that she had suffered her first miscarriage

Image credits: ashleegadd

So her friend Anna Quinlan  reached out to her

Image credits: ashleegadd

But instead of asking how Ashlee was doing Quinlan texted a multiple choice question

The mom replied to the text with a photo of a single roll of toilet paper

Image credits: ashleegadd

That afternoon toilet paper and Cheez-its arrived on Gadd s porch

Image credits: ashleegadd Gadd told Good Morning America that a miscarriage wasn't even on her radar. "It took a couple of minutes to really hit me and I was crushed," she said. "The doctor asked if she could give me a hug and the moment her arms wrapped around my neck, I started sobbing." It got even worse in the week that followed, while the mom waited to undergo a dilation and curettage, a medical procedure performed to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage. "In that week, I was still feeling very pregnant, feeling nauseous and my boobs hurt," Gadd recalled. "My body felt very pregnant but my mind knew that I wasn't going to be much longer. That was a really hard thing to reconcile." It was also during that trying time that Anna showed her support. The gesture meant so much to Gadd that she just had to share it on her social media.

Ashlee had never experienced a loss like this

Image credits: ashleegadd Image credits: ashleegadd

But she considers herself one of the lucky ones

Image credits: ashleegadd According to the Mayo Clinic, about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. The actual number, however, is likely higher because many miscarriages occur very early in pregnancy - before the couple even finds out about it. The term "miscarriage" might suggest that something went wrong in the way the woman carried out the pregnancy. But this is rarely true - most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn't developing as expected. Iris Gorfinkel, who is a General Practitioner and Principal Investigator/Founder of PrimeHealth Clinical Research in Toronto, Ontario, has written an excellent piece on why we should consider aborting the term miscarriage altogether. Image credits: ashleegadd

Everyone who heard Ashlee s story was incredibly touched by it

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Being specific is pretty much how to help someone: tell them exactly what you can do to help. "Let me know if I can do anything" is vague to someone under stress and may sound like something said out of politeness. 62 62points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago That's a good one Viviane, I'll remember that, thank you.. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Rannveig Ess Rannveig Ess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes! Don't ask, "what can I do?" or "How can I help" Just DO IT. Give them choices of what you can do. Ask them if they'd like A, B or C for dinner, because you're bringing it. Just think of something(s) to buy and leave. Many people, out of pride or not wanting to "be a burden" or just in their own depression and dealing with things, don't want to "impose" So just do it. As much as you can. Having someone take the reins and put some stability into your life at times like that is a gift, too 4 4points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Love this. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had my MIL stay with us for two weeks as I had to take it easy after emergency surgery. She helped so much doing things like house work, going to the shops and taking my daughter to and from school. She also didn't pester me when I wanted to be alone. She was amazing and a great help during a tough time. she even made me a new friend (one of my besties). 31 31points reply Monty Glue Monty Glue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Foxxy (The Original), I always appreciate your insights and perspectives. I have read so many of your comments, I feel like I almost know you. And that's a good thing! 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Bobert Robertson Bobert Robertson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Lucky to have such a loving mother in law, mine is pretty great too 3 3points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) She has been amazing and a massive support in so many ways. Unfortunately our relationship strained last few years due to her drinking. She apologised for her actions, for first time this year. We only recently started having a relationship again. Cutting her out was heartbreaking coz she was like a second mum. I don't know if we will ever get to that stage again. Alcoholism destroys families. 3 3points reply Pamela24 Pamela24 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago A beautiful bittersweet story that was honestly also educational. I will remembered this way of offering support to loved ones in difficult striations. So many people just say "let me know if you need anything" (I did that too a couple of times) but that just puts the burden of asking on the person who's hurting. The list of options is a great way to offer actual help yet not pressure the vulnerable person too much. 25 25points reply Load More Comments POST Viviane Viviane Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Being specific is pretty much how to help someone: tell them exactly what you can do to help. "Let me know if I can do anything" is vague to someone under stress and may sound like something said out of politeness. 62 62points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago That's a good one Viviane, I'll remember that, thank you.. 22 22points reply Load More Replies... Rannveig Ess Rannveig Ess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Yes! Don't ask, "what can I do?" or "How can I help" Just DO IT. Give them choices of what you can do. Ask them if they'd like A, B or C for dinner, because you're bringing it. Just think of something(s) to buy and leave. Many people, out of pride or not wanting to "be a burden" or just in their own depression and dealing with things, don't want to "impose" So just do it. As much as you can. Having someone take the reins and put some stability into your life at times like that is a gift, too 4 4points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Love this. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had my MIL stay with us for two weeks as I had to take it easy after emergency surgery. She helped so much doing things like house work, going to the shops and taking my daughter to and from school. She also didn't pester me when I wanted to be alone. She was amazing and a great help during a tough time. she even made me a new friend (one of my besties). 31 31points reply Monty Glue Monty Glue Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Foxxy (The Original), I always appreciate your insights and perspectives. I have read so many of your comments, I feel like I almost know you. And that's a good thing! 8 8points reply Load More Replies... Bobert Robertson Bobert Robertson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago Lucky to have such a loving mother in law, mine is pretty great too 3 3points reply Foxxy (The Original) Foxxy (The Original) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago (edited) She has been amazing and a massive support in so many ways. Unfortunately our relationship strained last few years due to her drinking. She apologised for her actions, for first time this year. We only recently started having a relationship again. Cutting her out was heartbreaking coz she was like a second mum. I don't know if we will ever get to that stage again. Alcoholism destroys families. 3 3points reply Pamela24 Pamela24 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 11 months ago A beautiful bittersweet story that was honestly also educational. I will remembered this way of offering support to loved ones in difficult striations. So many people just say "let me know if you need anything" (I did that too a couple of times) but that just puts the burden of asking on the person who's hurting. The list of options is a great way to offer actual help yet not pressure the vulnerable person too much. 25 25points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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