30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That Hardly Ever Fail To Make Others Laugh
30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That Hardly Ever Fail To Make Others Laugh Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That Hardly Ever Fail To Make Others Laugh Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 161points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter Entertainment, Funny10 months ago
Saulė Tolstych
Publish Not your original work? Add source A lot of us appreciate a good joke, knowing that to make someone laugh is a pretty tough thing to do. Especially when people tend to have a different taste in humor, have different views on a certain matter, or simply don't know the broader context to understand the joke. There is a thin line between making someone giggle and harshly offending them. And of course, there is no one good recipe on how to make someone laugh. Having this in mind, one Reddit user asked others online to share their one "go-to" joke. The question that received almost 19k upvotes was followed by many hilarious jokes that people were proud to share. Users were quick to reveal some of the short and punny jokes that can put a smile on someone's face. Which one of these jokes is your favorite? Maybe you have one of yours that could be added to this list? Don't forget to leave it in the comments down below! More Info: Reddit This post may include affiliate links. #1 A farmer looks up and sees his prized sheepdog running toward him.
The sheepdog is panting, and says, "Boss, I did it. It took me all morning, but I finally got all 100 sheep in the barn."
The farmer says, "That's great, but we only have 97 sheep."
The sheepdog says, "Yeah, I know. I rounded them up." Chiliad9 , cotaro70s Report Final score: 200points POST Lima Beanie Lima Beanie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago math be like 32 32points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 I went to the coffee shop the other day, and the lady behind the counter asked me what I wanted. I said "Give me your mildest roast".
She looked at me for a moment and said "You have the most average ears". TonySPhillips , Jenn Turner Report Final score: 186points POST Mary Rose Kent Mary Rose Kent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago SO GOOD!!!! 21 21points reply View more comments #3 What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?
I don't know either, but they're awake all night wondering if there is a dog give_me_two , Tony Alter Report Final score: 172points POST Lord Mysticlaw Lord Mysticlaw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago The answer to "is there a dog" should ALWAYS be "yes" 39 39points reply View More Replies... View more comments #4 God spoke to John and said, "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster. Grond21 , Neil Drumm Report Final score: 171points POST Kate Wooding Kate Wooding Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago to be fair... toast. 33 33points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 I keep confusing the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza", and now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia. MoltenVoid , Tom Chapman Report Final score: 165points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago At least you get your jacuzzi with yakuza 21 21points reply View more comments #6 Don't know if that will translate into English lol
Do you have anything to drink? - I have water. -Do you have anything harder? -Ice AlfieBilly , Arthur Quicho Report Final score: 156points POST Destiney Haddox Destiney Haddox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago It translates perfectly for me. We say "hard" or "harder" when we're talking about alcohol so I got it right away. 52 52points reply View More Replies... View more comments #7 Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “Do you know how to drive this thing?” GBBanditt , matt Report Final score: 142points POST Sky Render Sky Render Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Two fish swam into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 67 67points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "what's a steering wheel doing in your pants?" And the pirate says "It's driving me nuts!" sh4w5h4nk , Ryan Ruppe Report Final score: 138points POST Terilee Bruyere Terilee Bruyere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I heard that in a piratey (ish?) accent XD 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 Do you know what is the opposite of lady fingers?
mentos Muhammad_Ali_00 , Nelo Hotsuma Report Final score: 130points POST Terilee Bruyere Terilee Bruyere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I'm a bit ashamed at how long it took me to get this one. 35 35points reply View More Replies... View more comments #10 i told my girlfriend she draws her eyebrows on too high. she looked surprised. mspote , bigredpenguin Report Final score: 128points POST Vicky Z Vicky Z Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Comments about my appearance is where i draw a line 38 38points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 A man walks into a zoo.
There's only one dog in it.
It's a shih tzu. harperhobbit , angela n. Report Final score: 117points POST R Carson R Carson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Sure is. 14 14points reply View more comments #12 A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ColeslawProd , Steven Miller Report Final score: 113points POST Mazer Mazer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Midvale School for the Gifted!! For those unfamiliar, there was a really popular comic artist named Gary Larson. He created comics about many things and called it The Far Side. JUST GOOGLE Midvale School for the Gifted I miss his work and that of the creator of Calvin and Hobbes 2 2points reply View more comments #13 What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. AshleySchaefferWoo , marc falardeau Report Final score: 105points POST ?? ?? Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Ah I love anti-jokes! “What’s green and has wheels?” - “grass, I lied about the wheels” 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 My favorite joke of all time in the history of forever.
What do you call a broken can opener?
A can't opener. Medical_Spy , Donna Nicholson Arnott Report Final score: 102points POST Softball05 Softball05 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Very punny 5 5points reply View more comments #15 My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better JirenDeGray , Gareth Williams Report Final score: 100points POST RandomX123 RandomX123 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago "You see it's funny because marriage is terrible" - Grunkle Stan 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #16 I dont trust Elevators.
I am taking steps to avoid them. Nimar_Jenkins , felizfeliz Report Final score: 92points POST Ranax Ranax Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Yes, elevators do often let you down. 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 Why did the old man fall down into the well? Cuz he couldn't see that well. Abdul_Exhaust , Steve Baker Report Final score: 92points POST Dylan Bess Dylan Bess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Well well well 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back.
A stick. RightZeros , richie graham Report Final score: 88points POST BananaJo BananaJo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I mean if you have a dog… 17 17points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #19 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! SemifuncationalKoala , allen watkin Report Final score: 83points POST wickbits wickbits Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I learned this joke from a 4 year old and I tell it every chance I get. 3 3points reply View more comments #20 What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steamroller?
They became Flatman and Ribbon. MisterBigDude , allen watkin Report Final score: 83points POST Iván Galarraga Iván Galarraga Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago 57b1e1d7e3...f-jpeg.jpg 13 13points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say “Hey you, get off of my cloud” and a Scotsman says “Hey Mcloud, get off of my ewe.” haynesholiday , Kevin Gessner Report Final score: 72points POST R Carson R Carson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago eeeewww 19 19points reply View more comments #22 A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?" HawaiianShirtsOR , Joe Goldberg Report Final score: 71points POST John Smith John Smith Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A priest, a nun, a rabbit, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what you doing here", the rabbit replies, "I think I am a typo" 73 73points reply View More Replies... View more comments #23 Where did the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies! omglookawhale , Audrey Report Final score: 70points POST Karynne Williams Karynne Williams Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago This has been one of my all time favorite jokes since I was a kid. Right up there what is green and sings? Elvis Parsley! 29 29points reply View more comments #24 How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh Prints. Urbloodmyblade , Gage Skidmore Report Final score: 64points POST Antz Online Antz Online Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Lol, I loved that show 15 15points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #25 What do you call a fish with eight eyes? Fiiiiiiiish Seagrove Report Final score: 63points POST Sky Render Sky Render Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! 33 33points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and poorly dressed one on a bicycle?
Attire (a tire) BosstownCs , Dmitry Djouce Report Final score: 61points POST Les Izmore Les Izmore Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Attire and attire 5 5points reply View more comments #27 Why do ducks have feathers? To hide their buttquacks Oldbayisthes**t , steve p2008 Report Final score: 61points POST iffypedia iffypedia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago love it 7 7points reply View more comments #28 Two drums and cymbals fell off a cliff.
Bah dum tish! MonkeyChoker80 , bigdrumthump.com Report Final score: 60points POST Auntriarch Auntriarch Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Snort-laugh! 8 8points reply View more comments #29 Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Pepperwater makes them sneeze. jnizzforizz , Andrew Kuchling Report Final score: 59points POST ZAPanda ZAPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What do you call it when you put too much salt on your food? Assault. 12 12points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam. Hamlindigo_Blue , Emil . Report Final score: 52points POST Mary Rose Kent Mary Rose Kent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Dam’s response: There’s something fishy going on behind my back. 20 20points reply View more comments Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Konstancija Gasaitytė Konstancija Gasaitytė Writer, BoredPanda staff Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Chicken Nugget Chicken Nugget Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally. 11 11points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees. 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I think this is part of a longer joke someone once told me. It had the elephants with painted toe nails and some ducks (a pun about feet maybe?) I can't for the life of me remember how it went, but it was funny 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time for a new fence 2 2points reply Agnes Jekyll Agnes Jekyll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? Footprints in the jello. How do you fit four elephants in a car? Two in the front, two in the back. 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, stick the elephant in, close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out, stick the giraffe in, close the door -insert some more other jokes- EDIT (see next comment please) 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A new lion cub was born. We've all seen the Lion King, so all the animals gather to admire the new furry prince. They are all there, except for 1 animal, which one? The giraffe, because you haven't taken it out of the fridge yet 4 4points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Just finsihed writing my book on penquins. Took a long time. Think I might use paper next time. 10 10points reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's brown an sticky? A stick. 8 8points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's blue and not heavy? Light blue 11 11points reply Load More Replies... KB KB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I was thinking of this one while reading through these 1 1point reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Because of the boomerang joke, ring? 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Chicken Nugget Chicken Nugget Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally. 11 11points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees. 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I think this is part of a longer joke someone once told me. It had the elephants with painted toe nails and some ducks (a pun about feet maybe?) I can't for the life of me remember how it went, but it was funny 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time for a new fence 2 2points reply Agnes Jekyll Agnes Jekyll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? Footprints in the jello. How do you fit four elephants in a car? Two in the front, two in the back. 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, stick the elephant in, close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out, stick the giraffe in, close the door -insert some more other jokes- EDIT (see next comment please) 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A new lion cub was born. We've all seen the Lion King, so all the animals gather to admire the new furry prince. They are all there, except for 1 animal, which one? The giraffe, because you haven't taken it out of the fridge yet 4 4points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Just finsihed writing my book on penquins. Took a long time. Think I might use paper next time. 10 10points reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's brown an sticky? A stick. 8 8points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's blue and not heavy? Light blue 11 11points reply Load More Replies... KB KB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I was thinking of this one while reading through these 1 1point reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Because of the boomerang joke, ring? 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda 30 Y.O. 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30 People In This Online Group Reveal Their Best Jokes That Hardly Ever Fail To Make Others Laugh
Konstancija Gasaitytė andSaulė Tolstych
Publish Not your original work? Add source A lot of us appreciate a good joke, knowing that to make someone laugh is a pretty tough thing to do. Especially when people tend to have a different taste in humor, have different views on a certain matter, or simply don't know the broader context to understand the joke. There is a thin line between making someone giggle and harshly offending them. And of course, there is no one good recipe on how to make someone laugh. Having this in mind, one Reddit user asked others online to share their one "go-to" joke. The question that received almost 19k upvotes was followed by many hilarious jokes that people were proud to share. Users were quick to reveal some of the short and punny jokes that can put a smile on someone's face. Which one of these jokes is your favorite? Maybe you have one of yours that could be added to this list? Don't forget to leave it in the comments down below! More Info: Reddit This post may include affiliate links. #1 A farmer looks up and sees his prized sheepdog running toward him.
The sheepdog is panting, and says, "Boss, I did it. It took me all morning, but I finally got all 100 sheep in the barn."
The farmer says, "That's great, but we only have 97 sheep."
The sheepdog says, "Yeah, I know. I rounded them up." Chiliad9 , cotaro70s Report Final score: 200points POST Lima Beanie Lima Beanie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago math be like 32 32points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 I went to the coffee shop the other day, and the lady behind the counter asked me what I wanted. I said "Give me your mildest roast".
She looked at me for a moment and said "You have the most average ears". TonySPhillips , Jenn Turner Report Final score: 186points POST Mary Rose Kent Mary Rose Kent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago SO GOOD!!!! 21 21points reply View more comments #3 What do you call a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?
I don't know either, but they're awake all night wondering if there is a dog give_me_two , Tony Alter Report Final score: 172points POST Lord Mysticlaw Lord Mysticlaw Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago The answer to "is there a dog" should ALWAYS be "yes" 39 39points reply View More Replies... View more comments #4 God spoke to John and said, "Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster. Grond21 , Neil Drumm Report Final score: 171points POST Kate Wooding Kate Wooding Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago to be fair... toast. 33 33points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 I keep confusing the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza", and now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia. MoltenVoid , Tom Chapman Report Final score: 165points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago At least you get your jacuzzi with yakuza 21 21points reply View more comments #6 Don't know if that will translate into English lol
Do you have anything to drink? - I have water. -Do you have anything harder? -Ice AlfieBilly , Arthur Quicho Report Final score: 156points POST Destiney Haddox Destiney Haddox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago It translates perfectly for me. We say "hard" or "harder" when we're talking about alcohol so I got it right away. 52 52points reply View More Replies... View more comments #7 Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “Do you know how to drive this thing?” GBBanditt , matt Report Final score: 142points POST Sky Render Sky Render Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Two fish swam into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 67 67points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "what's a steering wheel doing in your pants?" And the pirate says "It's driving me nuts!" sh4w5h4nk , Ryan Ruppe Report Final score: 138points POST Terilee Bruyere Terilee Bruyere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I heard that in a piratey (ish?) accent XD 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 Do you know what is the opposite of lady fingers?
mentos Muhammad_Ali_00 , Nelo Hotsuma Report Final score: 130points POST Terilee Bruyere Terilee Bruyere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I'm a bit ashamed at how long it took me to get this one. 35 35points reply View More Replies... View more comments #10 i told my girlfriend she draws her eyebrows on too high. she looked surprised. mspote , bigredpenguin Report Final score: 128points POST Vicky Z Vicky Z Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Comments about my appearance is where i draw a line 38 38points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 A man walks into a zoo.
There's only one dog in it.
It's a shih tzu. harperhobbit , angela n. Report Final score: 117points POST R Carson R Carson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Sure is. 14 14points reply View more comments #12 A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ColeslawProd , Steven Miller Report Final score: 113points POST Mazer Mazer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Midvale School for the Gifted!! For those unfamiliar, there was a really popular comic artist named Gary Larson. He created comics about many things and called it The Far Side. JUST GOOGLE Midvale School for the Gifted I miss his work and that of the creator of Calvin and Hobbes 2 2points reply View more comments #13 What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. AshleySchaefferWoo , marc falardeau Report Final score: 105points POST ?? ?? Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Ah I love anti-jokes! “What’s green and has wheels?” - “grass, I lied about the wheels” 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 My favorite joke of all time in the history of forever.
What do you call a broken can opener?
A can't opener. Medical_Spy , Donna Nicholson Arnott Report Final score: 102points POST Softball05 Softball05 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Very punny 5 5points reply View more comments #15 My ex-wife still misses me
But her aim is getting better JirenDeGray , Gareth Williams Report Final score: 100points POST RandomX123 RandomX123 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago "You see it's funny because marriage is terrible" - Grunkle Stan 53 53points reply View More Replies... View more comments #16 I dont trust Elevators.
I am taking steps to avoid them. Nimar_Jenkins , felizfeliz Report Final score: 92points POST Ranax Ranax Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Yes, elevators do often let you down. 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 Why did the old man fall down into the well? Cuz he couldn't see that well. Abdul_Exhaust , Steve Baker Report Final score: 92points POST Dylan Bess Dylan Bess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Well well well 25 25points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back.
A stick. RightZeros , richie graham Report Final score: 88points POST BananaJo BananaJo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I mean if you have a dog… 17 17points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #19 Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! SemifuncationalKoala , allen watkin Report Final score: 83points POST wickbits wickbits Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I learned this joke from a 4 year old and I tell it every chance I get. 3 3points reply View more comments #20 What happened when Batman and Robin got run over by a steamroller?
They became Flatman and Ribbon. MisterBigDude , allen watkin Report Final score: 83points POST Iván Galarraga Iván Galarraga Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago 57b1e1d7e3...f-jpeg.jpg 13 13points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say “Hey you, get off of my cloud” and a Scotsman says “Hey Mcloud, get off of my ewe.” haynesholiday , Kevin Gessner Report Final score: 72points POST R Carson R Carson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago eeeewww 19 19points reply View more comments #22 A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Hey, what is this, a joke?" HawaiianShirtsOR , Joe Goldberg Report Final score: 71points POST John Smith John Smith Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A priest, a nun, a rabbit, a doctor, and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what you doing here", the rabbit replies, "I think I am a typo" 73 73points reply View More Replies... View more comments #23 Where did the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies! omglookawhale , Audrey Report Final score: 70points POST Karynne Williams Karynne Williams Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago This has been one of my all time favorite jokes since I was a kid. Right up there what is green and sings? Elvis Parsley! 29 29points reply View more comments #24 How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You follow the Fresh Prints. Urbloodmyblade , Gage Skidmore Report Final score: 64points POST Antz Online Antz Online Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Lol, I loved that show 15 15points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #25 What do you call a fish with eight eyes? Fiiiiiiiish Seagrove Report Final score: 63points POST Sky Render Sky Render Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! 33 33points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and poorly dressed one on a bicycle?
Attire (a tire) BosstownCs , Dmitry Djouce Report Final score: 61points POST Les Izmore Les Izmore Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Attire and attire 5 5points reply View more comments #27 Why do ducks have feathers? To hide their buttquacks Oldbayisthes**t , steve p2008 Report Final score: 61points POST iffypedia iffypedia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago love it 7 7points reply View more comments #28 Two drums and cymbals fell off a cliff.
Bah dum tish! MonkeyChoker80 , bigdrumthump.com Report Final score: 60points POST Auntriarch Auntriarch Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Snort-laugh! 8 8points reply View more comments #29 Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Pepperwater makes them sneeze. jnizzforizz , Andrew Kuchling Report Final score: 59points POST ZAPanda ZAPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What do you call it when you put too much salt on your food? Assault. 12 12points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? Dam. Hamlindigo_Blue , Emil . Report Final score: 52points POST Mary Rose Kent Mary Rose Kent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Dam’s response: There’s something fishy going on behind my back. 20 20points reply View more comments Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Konstancija Gasaitytė Konstancija Gasaitytė Writer, BoredPanda staff Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She has a bachelor’s degree in Translation and Interpreting and a master’s degree in Future Media and Journalism. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Chicken Nugget Chicken Nugget Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally. 11 11points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees. 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I think this is part of a longer joke someone once told me. It had the elephants with painted toe nails and some ducks (a pun about feet maybe?) I can't for the life of me remember how it went, but it was funny 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time for a new fence 2 2points reply Agnes Jekyll Agnes Jekyll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? Footprints in the jello. How do you fit four elephants in a car? Two in the front, two in the back. 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, stick the elephant in, close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out, stick the giraffe in, close the door -insert some more other jokes- EDIT (see next comment please) 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A new lion cub was born. We've all seen the Lion King, so all the animals gather to admire the new furry prince. They are all there, except for 1 animal, which one? The giraffe, because you haven't taken it out of the fridge yet 4 4points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Just finsihed writing my book on penquins. Took a long time. Think I might use paper next time. 10 10points reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's brown an sticky? A stick. 8 8points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's blue and not heavy? Light blue 11 11points reply Load More Replies... KB KB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I was thinking of this one while reading through these 1 1point reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Because of the boomerang joke, ring? 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Chicken Nugget Chicken Nugget Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table. What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. What else is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What's the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally. 11 11points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What is an elephant in a tree? One less on the ground. What is 2 elephants in a tree? One extra in the tree. What is 6 elephants in a tree? Very strong tree 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Iggy Iggy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Why do elephants paint their toenails red? To hide in cherry trees. 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I think this is part of a longer joke someone once told me. It had the elephants with painted toe nails and some ducks (a pun about feet maybe?) I can't for the life of me remember how it went, but it was funny 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time for a new fence 2 2points reply Agnes Jekyll Agnes Jekyll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge? Footprints in the jello. How do you fit four elephants in a car? Two in the front, two in the back. 2 2points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, stick the elephant in, close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out, stick the giraffe in, close the door -insert some more other jokes- EDIT (see next comment please) 3 3points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago A new lion cub was born. We've all seen the Lion King, so all the animals gather to admire the new furry prince. They are all there, except for 1 animal, which one? The giraffe, because you haven't taken it out of the fridge yet 4 4points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Just finsihed writing my book on penquins. Took a long time. Think I might use paper next time. 10 10points reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's brown an sticky? A stick. 8 8points reply Zaza Zaza Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago What's blue and not heavy? Light blue 11 11points reply Load More Replies... KB KB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I was thinking of this one while reading through these 1 1point reply Piet Puk Piet Puk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Because of the boomerang joke, ring? 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda 30 Y.O. 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