224 Of The Funniest And The Seal iest Animal Puns
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Saimonas Lukošius
Publish Not your original work? Add source In a world full of mediocre jokes and hackneyed puns, there's one category that'll never get banal. Yup, it's animal puns! And how could it ever get boring if there are around 8.7 million animal species on our planet, and a funny pun must be appointed to each of them! And, although Screaming Hairy Armadillo or Paradoxical Frog already sounds like the beginnings of a clever pun, those are actual animal names, and we're not here to make fun of them. So instead, check out our list of these peachy animal puns; there are so many, you could use a different one each day for the better part of the year! Starting with such classics as an alligator in a vest and a definition of Hamsterdam to such wild ones as season's greetings from a llama, this list covers all of the most popular animal species, celebrations, day-to-day happenings, and many more. Theoretically, you could make a DIY table calendar with a hilarious pun selected for each of the upcoming festivities, for instance, National Badger Day or National Lemon Cream Pie Day. Both are very real, and you can definitely commemorate them with a unique pun or two. By now, you know what comes next - our directions for you to scroll on down below to reveal the awesome puns that we've gathered! After you've tamed your giggles, be sure to vote for the most hilarious puns, and don't be shy to share this article, dedicated to animal puns, with your friends. You might even start your own monthly or weekly celebration - a Share A Pun Day! This post may include affiliate links. #1 What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador. Report 35points POST iffypedia iffypedia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago when you pull a rabbit out of a hat and its not a rabbit 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 What did the buffalo say when his son left home?
Bison. Report 29points POST #3 What would bears be without bees?
Ears. Report 26points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Honey-less 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #4 Elephants are absolutely banned in public pools. You see, this is because they have a very bad habit of dropping their trunks. Report 26points POST Animelover13ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ Animelover13ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I will have to tell my dad this one 1 1point reply View more comments #5 What's a cow eating grass?
A lawn mooer. Report 25points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Now you're just milking it 0 0points reply #6 Sharks love swimming only in saltwater.
They don't like pepper water as it makes them sneeze a lot. Report 23points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ?+?= +?...?+ 0 0points reply View more comments #7 Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring?
Because he heard it was 24 carrots. Report 21points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) ?And it was a golden opportunity? 1 1point reply #8 What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain. Report 20points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago thats hiss-terical 9 9points reply View more comments #9 What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk. Report 20points POST Abram I Abram I Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago lol 0 0points reply View more comments #10 Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon. Report 19points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Also a lot of the action happens at knight. 8 8points reply #11 What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato. Report 17points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago thats me but without the kangroo 5 5points reply #12 What city has the largest rodent population?
Hamsterdam. Report 17points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I thought it might have been Ratterdam. 7 7points reply View more comments #13 Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose. Report 17points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Upvoted bc it's funny... But did you know that all hooved animals ARE walking "on their toes"? As are Elephants ?? 0 0points reply View more comments #14 Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek?
Because he was always spotted! Report 17points POST #15 How did Noah see all the animals on the ark at night?
A flood light. Report 16points POST Patrick the Mediocre Patrick the Mediocre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago 0 0points reply #16 What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch! Report 16points POST #17 Can a bear dance?
Yes, but just barely. Report 15points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I can hardly bear this pun, it's unbearable. 5 5points reply View more comments #18 What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh. Report 15points POST Kookamunga Kookamunga Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago That's great. I'm going to read all these puns just for the halibut. 7 7points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 Why was the dog overwhelmed?
Because today was ruff. Report 15points POST xxkittyxx00 xxkittyxx00 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago really? my day was barktacular 5 5points reply #20 What was said during the feline couple's argument?
"You're such a cheetah!"
"No, you're lion!" Report 15points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And that's what started the hissy-fit 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist. Report 15points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I'd call it "Aaarrghh!!!" as I ran away 0 0points reply #22 Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work! Report 14points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago *honk honk* they work just fine... oh wait that's a goose nevermind 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #23 What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch?
"Well, this is hawkward." Report 14points POST #24 What do llama’s say during the holiday season?
Fleece navidad! Report 14points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago this is cute ( also just so you know i love llamas) 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras! Report 14points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago On the Orca-strasse 1 1point reply View more comments #26 A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering. Report 13points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Awwww 1 1point reply View more comments #27 What do you call an explosive monkey?
A ba-boom. Report 13points POST Patrick the Mediocre Patrick the Mediocre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I thought "BOOM!" Was the sound of an elephant passing gas. 1 1point reply View more comments #28 What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
"Do you have any water? I'm a little horse." Report 13points POST #29 How can you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles! Report 13points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago But not squids, you'll make them "ink" their pants 0 0points reply View more comments #30 What did the cat and dog sing together at karaoke night?
"Don't stop retrieving… hold on to that feline!" Report 13points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And they had a howling good time 0 0points reply #31 What do you call an alligator with a vest?
Invest-igator. Report 12points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago invesigator is on the case 1 1point reply #32 What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows! Report 12points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Some are funny A flock, flight, brace or volery (in general) and... Ducks= raft, brace, paddling, badling. Crows= murder, horde, congress. Doves= bevy, cote, flight. Cranes= herd, sedge. Eagles= aerie, congregation, convocation. Chickens= brood, clutch, peep. Emus=mob. Parrots= company. Woodpeckers= descent. Starlings= murmuration. Ravens= unkindness. Buzzards= a wake. Flamingoes=a stand. Jays= party, scold. Owls= parliament. Turkeys= gang, rafter. 0 0points reply #33 Why was the dolphin was sorry?
It didn’t do it on porpoise. Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago He was just fishing for a compliment 0 0points reply #34 I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.
It's impeccable! Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Me too, my neighbors let their cats run loose 0 0points reply #35 I hate insects, they really bug me. Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ??They make me want to commit "pesticide"?? 0 0points reply View more comments #36 Where Do Polar Bears Vote?
The North Poll! Report 11points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And the south poll too? 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #37 Why didn't the crab share it's toys?
It was too shellfish! Report 10points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I bet he's also very crabby in the mornings 2 2points reply #38 Take away the hungry cat’s food?
You’ve got to be kitten. Report 10points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago He does want it right meow 2 2points reply #39 How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you will see later, and the other after a while. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I look at the nose..."A" shaped is crocodiles and "C" shaped is alligators. (Thus "A" for the C's and "C" for the A's.) 0 0points reply #40 French people like eating snails because they don't like fast foods. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago TIL...Frogs actually eat snails (I didn't think they would because of the shells). 0 0points reply #41 Robin's farm animals have great humor.
They are a laughing stock. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ?Then turkeys are a must because when you laugh, they join in? 0 0points reply #42 Ducks don't watch movies.
They only like watching duck-umenteries. Report 10points POST #43 The teenage giraffe was called into the principal’s office for his bad grades.
They said his head was always in the clouds. Report 10points POST #44 What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
A shell-met. Report 10points POST #45 Giraffes are not exactly everyone's favorite pet.
They're just too high maintenance. Report 10points POST #46 The favorite genre of music for rabbits is the genre of hip-hop. Report 9points POST #47 What's a snake's favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory. Report 9points POST #48 What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost. Report 9points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) Humboldts live in desert landscapes in Chile and Peru, Jackass penguins in Namibia and South African desert area 0 0points reply View more comments #49 What does a one-legged turkey say?
Wobble wobble! Report 9points POST Shine Caramia Shine Caramia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Two snare drums and a cymbal fell down a canyon 1 1point reply #50 How does a farmer count cows?
With a cow-culator. Report 8points POST #51 Why are most horses so slim?
Because they are on a stable diet! Report 8points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago They neighver eat! 0 0points reply #52 A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him.
The doctor described his condition as stable! Report 8points POST #53 What did the llama’s mom say when it was leaving for college?
Alpaca your things. Report 8points POST #54 These giant squid jokes are kraken me up! Report 8points POST #55 What do you call a lizard that steals?
A crook-o-dile. Report 8points POST #56 There was once a chicken who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken. Report 8points POST #57 Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good. Report 8points Saimonas Lukošius POST #58 My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game. Report 8points POST #59 Why didn't anyone believe the tiger?
Because they thought it was a lion! Report 8points POST #60 What did the dog say before he left for work?
Just another day at the paw-ffice! Report 8points POST #61 Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.
It was otter chaos. Report 8points POST #62 How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?
You look at the scales. Report 8points POST #63 What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Dam!" Report 8points POST #64 What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks! Report 8points POST #65 How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck! Report 8points POST #66 Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk. Report 8points POST #67 The office of monkeys doesn't fire anyone. They just transfer them to a different branch. Report 8points POST #68 When does a kitty want to be pet?
Right meow. Report 7points POST #69 What is the best response when you see a herd of deer?
Oh, dear. Report 7points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) Look over deer! 1 1point reply #70 Why should you never play poker at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs. Report 7points POST #71 By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same. Report 7points POST #72 Where was the lion most comfortable?
On the fur-niture. Report 7points POST #73 What kind of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy. Report 7points POST #74 I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away. Report 7points POST #75 What did the goat say to the criminal?
You’re baaaaaaaad. Report 7points POST #76 Why did the barred owl have to go back to the computer store?
It kept eating its mouse. Report 7points POST #77 Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they’re all dead. Report 7points POST Kara Bismarck Kara Bismarck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ? my fave -1 -1point reply #78 The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict. Report 7points POST #79 We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog. Report 7points POST #80 Which animal will you probably meet on Tinder?
A catfish! Report 7points POST #81 You get only a vegetable when you cross a sheepdog with daffodils—a collie-flower. Report 7points POST #82 Snakes that are found in cars are usually windshield vipers. Report 7points POST #83 You get a rocker spaniel when you cross a dog and a hammock. Report 7points POST #84 The best savory food to serve a dog who is running a temperature is mustard. Mustard goes really well with hot dogs. Report 7points POST #85 If we wrap a roll of wool around a kangaroo, we would get a woolly jumper. Report 7points POST #86 Sharks and computers have one very vital thing in common.
Both of them have megabites. Report 7points POST #87 Where Do Rabbits Eat Breakfast? IHOP Report 7points POST #88 What do you call a sad dog?
A melon-collie. Report 7points POST #89 Bears do not need arms - they fight with their bear hands. Report 7points POST #90 What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?
A per-key! Report 7points POST #91 One animal was hoping to be king of the forest.
He had all the koalifications. Report 6points POST #92 Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday. Report 6points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago *sizzling oil* 3 3points reply View more comments #93 Do owls like jokes?
Sure, they think they’re a hoot. Report 6points POST #94 How does a walrus mail a letter?
He seals them with a kiss. Report 6points POST #95 The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line. Report 6points POST #96 Why isn’t the hen in charge?
It’s likely she’ll just pass the buckbuckbuckbuck. Report 6points POST #97 Why are elephants not kept indoors?
Look, no one wants to talk about that. Report 6points POST Shine Caramia Shine Caramia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I can't upvote this enough. -1 -1point reply #98 What did the rodent say as he was leaving work?
"Wow, it's been a long day. I could really gopher a drink!" Report 6points POST #99 Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaaaaahamas. Report 6points POST #100 Why is the bee's hair always sticky?
Because he uses a honeycomb! Report 6points POST #101 Pandas are fond of old movies as they are black and white. Report 6points POST #102 What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! Report 6points POST #103 Never ask a cat to tell you stories.
They only have one tale. Report 6points POST #104 What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish! Report 6points POST #105 What's a wolf's favorite holiday?
Howl-o-ween! Report 6points POST #106 A cat's favorite book is 'The Great Cat-sby'! Report 6points POST #107 The little bear turned out to be very spoiled and lazy as his mother always panda'd to his every need. Report 6points POST #108 The funny seal kept on laughing continuously at lame jokes until his friend reminded him that it was the seal-iest thing to do. Report 6points POST #109 Lion, who is the king of the jungle, usually greets other animals by saying, "Hey, nice eating you!" Report 6points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And then everyone gets Hide-and-Seeking. But leopard is always spotted. 1 1point reply #110 My cat has a favorite breakfast comprising mice Krispies and milk! Report 6points POST #111 Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet. Report 6points POST #112 How do fish stay so healthy?
Vitamin sea!
Report 6points POST #113 A cow was toppled by a tornado. From that day onwards, the owner of the cow would only get milkshakes. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #114 Fishes are the most health-conscious animals. They have an inbuilt set of scales to keep a good watch of their weight. Report 6points POST #115 What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?
"Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk." Report 6points POST #116 Even monkeys will sing if you gibbon the chance. Report 6points POST #117 Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry! Report 6points POST #118 What do you call a reptile phoning a friend?
A crocodial. Report 6points POST #119 What do you call a bird that fights?
A taekwon-dodo. Report 6points POST #120 Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
She got too jumpy! Report 6points POST #121 Where are fish in orbit?
In trout-er space. Report 6points POST #122 Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker. Report 6points POST #123 What's the first thing you should do if a bull charges you?
Pay him! Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #124 Why shouldn't you play basketball with a pig?
Because it'll hog the ball! Report 6points POST #125 What did the elephant want on its birthday?
A trunk filled with gifts. Report 6points POST #126 The serpents had finalized their deal.
They decided to snake on it. Report 6points POST #127 The crow is always bragging about his fortunes.
He makes sure to let everybody know the caw-st of being so successful. Report 6points POST #128 The owls are so supportive, they're always hooting for you! Report 6points POST #129 Giraffes are the worst managers.
They really can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees. Report 6points POST #130 There was a jungle party happening in the night. The monkeys agreed to bring the chimp and dip. Report 6points POST #131 Wild cats have the best teeth in the zoo because they fl-ocelot. Report 6points POST #132 If you want something done right, do it yourself. Best not leave it to salmon else. Report 6points POST #133 Pandas are so lazy, they only do the bear minimum. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #134 When panda bears rob banks, they always wear a pandana! Report 6points POST #135 What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper. Report 6points POST #136 If whales were benevolent, they would be whale-wishers. Report 6points POST #137 I'm having a ruff day.
Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome! Report 5points POST #138 I watched a documentary about beavers last night.
It was the best dam show ever! Report 5points POST #139 Hear about the disease birds give you if you kiss them?
It’s untweetable. Report 5points POST #140 What does a bee sit on?
Its bee-hind. Report 5points POST #141 When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees?
In the ark-hives! Report 5points POST #142 Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah? Report 5points POST #143 Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano?
He was playing by ear! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #144 Why did the frog have to walk to work?
Her car was toad. Report 5points POST #145 Why is it so hard to ride a camel on the weekend?
You’ve got to get over the hump. Report 5points POST #146 What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop. Report 5points POST #147 When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough. Report 5points POST #148 What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef. Report 5points POST #149 What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff.
BA DUM TS. Report 5points POST #150 How does the cat stop a video?
He presses the paws button. Report 5points POST #151 What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus. Report 5points POST #152 What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny. Report 5points POST #153 Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #154 What did the fish say after proposing an idea to his boss?
"Let minnow what you think." Report 5points POST #155 The only result you get when you watch a couple of silkworms wrestle is a tie. Report 5points POST #156 Shepherds are really bad at counting numbers in mathematics. They always fall asleep while counting sheep. Report 5points POST #157 A very popular destination of vacation for cows is not Hawaii but Moo Zealand. Report 5points POST #158 The pony wanted to drink water as his throat was a little horse. Report 5points POST #159 An elephant renders an argument invalid by claiming it to be irr-elephant. Report 5points POST #160 If your dog eats only garlic, then his bark will be worse than his bite. Report 5points POST #161 An absolute favorite city for all dogs is New Yorkie. Report 5points POST #162 Why was the bird sad?
Because he's a bluebird. Report 5points POST #163 What's a dog's favorite movie?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer's Bone. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) #164 What did the dolphin say when he was confused?
"Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?" Report 5points POST #165 The bear wanted to eat honey and fish, so he visited a restaurant. But he soon, angrily walked out as food there was un-bear-able. Report 5points POST #166 The tiger claimed that he climbed the biggest mountain in the forest.
No one believed the tiger as they thought he was lion! Report 5points POST #167 Cows that make up the bovine population in the Arctics are of a different breed.
They are eski-moos. Report 5points POST #168 Bowling is a beloved sport only for an alley cat and not a house cat. Report 5points POST #169 The lamb reached the wrong place while driving as he missed the ewe turn. Report 5points POST #170 There are only a few ants that are larger than an elephant. This is because they are a couple of gi-ants. Report 5points POST #171 The frog's car broke down in the middle of the road.
It had to be toad away. Report 5points POST #172 Whenever a cat goes to a party, he becomes delighted when he hears the song 'Three Blind Mice'! Report 5points POST #173 The alpaca returned home and asked his wife to get ready as they were leaving for a vacation. He said, "you get ready asap, alpaca your luggage". Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs #174 A corg-key is a bad dog as he only picks locks. Report 5points POST #175 What's so special about your deer?
I have no-eye-deer! Report 5points POST #176 Why did the pelican get banned from the restaurant?
He had a big bill and tried to get out of paying. Report 5points POST #177 Why did Mozart end up getting rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying "bach bach!" Report 5points POST #178 Why did the eagle get arrested for stealing from the doctor?
It was ill-eagle. Report 5points POST #179 What kind of ducks steal soap from the bath?
Robber ducks! Report 5points POST #180 The favorite color of cats is not red but purrrrrrr-ple. Report 5points POST #181 What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer. Report 5points POST #182 An utterly confused moose usually exclaims by saying, "I have absolutely no i-deer". Report 5points POST #183 If there was ever a jumping contest, then a kangaroo would easily jump higher than the Burj Khalifa. Kangaroos can jump, buildings can't! Report 5points POST #184 Once, 1000 hares were running loose at the city junction. The police went to see the situation and combed the entire area to capture them. Report 5points POST #185 A bunch of sheep was acting crazy on the ranch.
You see, it was shear madness! Report 5points POST #186 Bees become very dangerous when they start eating human brains.
They become little zombees. Report 5points POST #187 What did the horse say when it fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” Report 5points POST #188 Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Report 5points POST #189 What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?
“Odor in the court!” Report 5points POST #190 Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy. Report 5points POST #191 What is a goat’s favorite rom-com?
You’ve goat mail. Report 5points POST #192 What is a snake’s favorite childhood game?
Hide and sneak. Report 5points POST #193 A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas.
It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community! Report 5points POST #194 What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Report 5points POST #195 Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide. Report 5points POST #196 How much money does a skunk have?
One scent! Report 5points POST #197 You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish. Report 5points POST #198 The leopard got caught by the police after the robbery.
He was so easy to spot! Report 5points POST #199 Thank ewe for being so kind to the animals at the petting zoo. Report 5points POST #200 What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?
Steven Seagull Report 5points POST #201 The lion woke up with a big smile on his face.
It was his favorite day of the week, Chewsday! Report 5points POST #202 Pelicans can do anything - it's called pelican, not pelican't. Report 5points POST #203 Snakes are only measured in inches - they don't have feet. Report 5points POST #204 Primates can go grab a drink - at the monkey bar! Report 5points POST #205 People flocked around the cute lion cubs in the enclosure. They were the mane attraction at the zoo. Report 5points POST #206 Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them. Report 4points POST #207 Pig puns are so boaring. Report 4points POST #208 What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George. Report 4points POST #209 What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard is the best thing for a hot dog. Report 4points POST #210 Why won’t a clam share?
I don’t know. I asked them but they just clam up. Report 4points POST #211 A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn't amoosed. Report 4points POST #212 What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
"Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant." Report 4points POST #213 I was going to tell you some animal puns about pigs… But they're a little boaring. Report 4points POST #214 The best way to greet a toad is by addressing it as, "Wart's new?" Report 4points POST #215 Spiders are very tech-savvy animals.
They communicate with each other using the World Wide Web. Report 4points POST #216 If there were 20 cats on a bus and suddenly one cat jumps out of the window. Seeing that, every single cat will jump out, and there will be not one cat left on the bus as they are all copycats. Report 4points POST #217 Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs. Report 4points POST #218 What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor. Report 4points POST #219 What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
A pie-thon! Report 4points POST #220 What kind of math do owls like?
Owlgebra. Report 4points POST #221 All monkeys have a favorite month of the year.
It’s Ape-ril. Report 4points Saimonas Lukošius POST #222 You can make a makeshift telephone in the wild with toucans and a string. Report 4points POST #223 What is the best way to cook a gator?
In a crock-pot. Report 3points POST #224 You goata be kidding me! Report 2points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Writer, BoredPanda staff Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.
Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything! Read more » Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Barely smile-worthy. 2 2points reply Janice Strickland Janice Strickland Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Be better if someone made cartoons to accommodate the joke 1 1point reply WatermelonTheDutchie WatermelonTheDutchie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago i share a dad joke with my tennis coach each practice- these are awesome lol 0 0points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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224 Of The Funniest And The Seal-iest Animal Puns
Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė andSaimonas Lukošius
Publish Not your original work? Add source In a world full of mediocre jokes and hackneyed puns, there's one category that'll never get banal. Yup, it's animal puns! And how could it ever get boring if there are around 8.7 million animal species on our planet, and a funny pun must be appointed to each of them! And, although Screaming Hairy Armadillo or Paradoxical Frog already sounds like the beginnings of a clever pun, those are actual animal names, and we're not here to make fun of them. So instead, check out our list of these peachy animal puns; there are so many, you could use a different one each day for the better part of the year! Starting with such classics as an alligator in a vest and a definition of Hamsterdam to such wild ones as season's greetings from a llama, this list covers all of the most popular animal species, celebrations, day-to-day happenings, and many more. Theoretically, you could make a DIY table calendar with a hilarious pun selected for each of the upcoming festivities, for instance, National Badger Day or National Lemon Cream Pie Day. Both are very real, and you can definitely commemorate them with a unique pun or two. By now, you know what comes next - our directions for you to scroll on down below to reveal the awesome puns that we've gathered! After you've tamed your giggles, be sure to vote for the most hilarious puns, and don't be shy to share this article, dedicated to animal puns, with your friends. You might even start your own monthly or weekly celebration - a Share A Pun Day! This post may include affiliate links. #1 What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador. Report 35points POST iffypedia iffypedia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago when you pull a rabbit out of a hat and its not a rabbit 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 What did the buffalo say when his son left home?
Bison. Report 29points POST #3 What would bears be without bees?
Ears. Report 26points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Honey-less 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #4 Elephants are absolutely banned in public pools. You see, this is because they have a very bad habit of dropping their trunks. Report 26points POST Animelover13ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ Animelover13ฅ(• ɪ •)ฅ Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I will have to tell my dad this one 1 1point reply View more comments #5 What's a cow eating grass?
A lawn mooer. Report 25points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Now you're just milking it 0 0points reply #6 Sharks love swimming only in saltwater.
They don't like pepper water as it makes them sneeze a lot. Report 23points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ?+?= +?...?+ 0 0points reply View more comments #7 Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring?
Because he heard it was 24 carrots. Report 21points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) ?And it was a golden opportunity? 1 1point reply #8 What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain. Report 20points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago thats hiss-terical 9 9points reply View more comments #9 What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk. Report 20points POST Abram I Abram I Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago lol 0 0points reply View more comments #10 Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon. Report 19points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Also a lot of the action happens at knight. 8 8points reply #11 What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato. Report 17points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago thats me but without the kangroo 5 5points reply #12 What city has the largest rodent population?
Hamsterdam. Report 17points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I thought it might have been Ratterdam. 7 7points reply View more comments #13 Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose. Report 17points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Upvoted bc it's funny... But did you know that all hooved animals ARE walking "on their toes"? As are Elephants ?? 0 0points reply View more comments #14 Why did the leopard hate playing Hide and Seek?
Because he was always spotted! Report 17points POST #15 How did Noah see all the animals on the ark at night?
A flood light. Report 16points POST Patrick the Mediocre Patrick the Mediocre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago 0 0points reply #16 What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch! Report 16points POST #17 Can a bear dance?
Yes, but just barely. Report 15points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I can hardly bear this pun, it's unbearable. 5 5points reply View more comments #18 What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh. Report 15points POST Kookamunga Kookamunga Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago That's great. I'm going to read all these puns just for the halibut. 7 7points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 Why was the dog overwhelmed?
Because today was ruff. Report 15points POST xxkittyxx00 xxkittyxx00 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago really? my day was barktacular 5 5points reply #20 What was said during the feline couple's argument?
"You're such a cheetah!"
"No, you're lion!" Report 15points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And that's what started the hissy-fit 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist. Report 15points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I'd call it "Aaarrghh!!!" as I ran away 0 0points reply #22 Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work! Report 14points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago *honk honk* they work just fine... oh wait that's a goose nevermind 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #23 What did the hawk say when he fell off the branch?
"Well, this is hawkward." Report 14points POST #24 What do llama’s say during the holiday season?
Fleece navidad! Report 14points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago this is cute ( also just so you know i love llamas) 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras! Report 14points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago On the Orca-strasse 1 1point reply View more comments #26 A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering. Report 13points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Awwww 1 1point reply View more comments #27 What do you call an explosive monkey?
A ba-boom. Report 13points POST Patrick the Mediocre Patrick the Mediocre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I thought "BOOM!" Was the sound of an elephant passing gas. 1 1point reply View more comments #28 What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
"Do you have any water? I'm a little horse." Report 13points POST #29 How can you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles! Report 13points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago But not squids, you'll make them "ink" their pants 0 0points reply View more comments #30 What did the cat and dog sing together at karaoke night?
"Don't stop retrieving… hold on to that feline!" Report 13points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And they had a howling good time 0 0points reply #31 What do you call an alligator with a vest?
Invest-igator. Report 12points POST Henry Russell Henry Russell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago invesigator is on the case 1 1point reply #32 What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows! Report 12points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Some are funny A flock, flight, brace or volery (in general) and... Ducks= raft, brace, paddling, badling. Crows= murder, horde, congress. Doves= bevy, cote, flight. Cranes= herd, sedge. Eagles= aerie, congregation, convocation. Chickens= brood, clutch, peep. Emus=mob. Parrots= company. Woodpeckers= descent. Starlings= murmuration. Ravens= unkindness. Buzzards= a wake. Flamingoes=a stand. Jays= party, scold. Owls= parliament. Turkeys= gang, rafter. 0 0points reply #33 Why was the dolphin was sorry?
It didn’t do it on porpoise. Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago He was just fishing for a compliment 0 0points reply #34 I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.
It's impeccable! Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Me too, my neighbors let their cats run loose 0 0points reply #35 I hate insects, they really bug me. Report 11points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ??They make me want to commit "pesticide"?? 0 0points reply View more comments #36 Where Do Polar Bears Vote?
The North Poll! Report 11points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And the south poll too? 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #37 Why didn't the crab share it's toys?
It was too shellfish! Report 10points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I bet he's also very crabby in the mornings 2 2points reply #38 Take away the hungry cat’s food?
You’ve got to be kitten. Report 10points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago He does want it right meow 2 2points reply #39 How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One you will see later, and the other after a while. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I look at the nose..."A" shaped is crocodiles and "C" shaped is alligators. (Thus "A" for the C's and "C" for the A's.) 0 0points reply #40 French people like eating snails because they don't like fast foods. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago TIL...Frogs actually eat snails (I didn't think they would because of the shells). 0 0points reply #41 Robin's farm animals have great humor.
They are a laughing stock. Report 10points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ?Then turkeys are a must because when you laugh, they join in? 0 0points reply #42 Ducks don't watch movies.
They only like watching duck-umenteries. Report 10points POST #43 The teenage giraffe was called into the principal’s office for his bad grades.
They said his head was always in the clouds. Report 10points POST #44 What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
A shell-met. Report 10points POST #45 Giraffes are not exactly everyone's favorite pet.
They're just too high maintenance. Report 10points POST #46 The favorite genre of music for rabbits is the genre of hip-hop. Report 9points POST #47 What's a snake's favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory. Report 9points POST #48 What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost. Report 9points POST TheAnimalLady TheAnimalLady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) Humboldts live in desert landscapes in Chile and Peru, Jackass penguins in Namibia and South African desert area 0 0points reply View more comments #49 What does a one-legged turkey say?
Wobble wobble! Report 9points POST Shine Caramia Shine Caramia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Two snare drums and a cymbal fell down a canyon 1 1point reply #50 How does a farmer count cows?
With a cow-culator. Report 8points POST #51 Why are most horses so slim?
Because they are on a stable diet! Report 8points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago They neighver eat! 0 0points reply #52 A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses inside him.
The doctor described his condition as stable! Report 8points POST #53 What did the llama’s mom say when it was leaving for college?
Alpaca your things. Report 8points POST #54 These giant squid jokes are kraken me up! Report 8points POST #55 What do you call a lizard that steals?
A crook-o-dile. Report 8points POST #56 There was once a chicken who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathemachicken. Report 8points POST #57 Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good. Report 8points Saimonas Lukošius POST #58 My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game. Report 8points POST #59 Why didn't anyone believe the tiger?
Because they thought it was a lion! Report 8points POST #60 What did the dog say before he left for work?
Just another day at the paw-ffice! Report 8points POST #61 Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.
It was otter chaos. Report 8points POST #62 How can you tell how much a reptile weighs?
You look at the scales. Report 8points POST #63 What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Dam!" Report 8points POST #64 What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks! Report 8points POST #65 How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck! Report 8points POST #66 Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk. Report 8points POST #67 The office of monkeys doesn't fire anyone. They just transfer them to a different branch. Report 8points POST #68 When does a kitty want to be pet?
Right meow. Report 7points POST #69 What is the best response when you see a herd of deer?
Oh, dear. Report 7points POST DennyS (denzoren) DennyS (denzoren) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago (edited) Look over deer! 1 1point reply #70 Why should you never play poker at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs. Report 7points POST #71 By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same. Report 7points POST #72 Where was the lion most comfortable?
On the fur-niture. Report 7points POST #73 What kind of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy. Report 7points POST #74 I'm so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away. Report 7points POST #75 What did the goat say to the criminal?
You’re baaaaaaaad. Report 7points POST #76 Why did the barred owl have to go back to the computer store?
It kept eating its mouse. Report 7points POST #77 Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they’re all dead. Report 7points POST Kara Bismarck Kara Bismarck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago ? my fave -1 -1point reply #78 The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict. Report 7points POST #79 We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog. Report 7points POST #80 Which animal will you probably meet on Tinder?
A catfish! Report 7points POST #81 You get only a vegetable when you cross a sheepdog with daffodils—a collie-flower. Report 7points POST #82 Snakes that are found in cars are usually windshield vipers. Report 7points POST #83 You get a rocker spaniel when you cross a dog and a hammock. Report 7points POST #84 The best savory food to serve a dog who is running a temperature is mustard. Mustard goes really well with hot dogs. Report 7points POST #85 If we wrap a roll of wool around a kangaroo, we would get a woolly jumper. Report 7points POST #86 Sharks and computers have one very vital thing in common.
Both of them have megabites. Report 7points POST #87 Where Do Rabbits Eat Breakfast? IHOP Report 7points POST #88 What do you call a sad dog?
A melon-collie. Report 7points POST #89 Bears do not need arms - they fight with their bear hands. Report 7points POST #90 What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey?
A per-key! Report 7points POST #91 One animal was hoping to be king of the forest.
He had all the koalifications. Report 6points POST #92 Which day do chickens hate the most?
Friday. Report 6points POST HuggyWuggy910 HuggyWuggy910 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago *sizzling oil* 3 3points reply View more comments #93 Do owls like jokes?
Sure, they think they’re a hoot. Report 6points POST #94 How does a walrus mail a letter?
He seals them with a kiss. Report 6points POST #95 The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line. Report 6points POST #96 Why isn’t the hen in charge?
It’s likely she’ll just pass the buckbuckbuckbuck. Report 6points POST #97 Why are elephants not kept indoors?
Look, no one wants to talk about that. Report 6points POST Shine Caramia Shine Caramia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago I can't upvote this enough. -1 -1point reply #98 What did the rodent say as he was leaving work?
"Wow, it's been a long day. I could really gopher a drink!" Report 6points POST #99 Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaaaaahamas. Report 6points POST #100 Why is the bee's hair always sticky?
Because he uses a honeycomb! Report 6points POST #101 Pandas are fond of old movies as they are black and white. Report 6points POST #102 What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! Report 6points POST #103 Never ask a cat to tell you stories.
They only have one tale. Report 6points POST #104 What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish! Report 6points POST #105 What's a wolf's favorite holiday?
Howl-o-ween! Report 6points POST #106 A cat's favorite book is 'The Great Cat-sby'! Report 6points POST #107 The little bear turned out to be very spoiled and lazy as his mother always panda'd to his every need. Report 6points POST #108 The funny seal kept on laughing continuously at lame jokes until his friend reminded him that it was the seal-iest thing to do. Report 6points POST #109 Lion, who is the king of the jungle, usually greets other animals by saying, "Hey, nice eating you!" Report 6points POST Gin. No tonic Gin. No tonic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago And then everyone gets Hide-and-Seeking. But leopard is always spotted. 1 1point reply #110 My cat has a favorite breakfast comprising mice Krispies and milk! Report 6points POST #111 Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet. Report 6points POST #112 How do fish stay so healthy?
Vitamin sea!
Report 6points POST #113 A cow was toppled by a tornado. From that day onwards, the owner of the cow would only get milkshakes. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #114 Fishes are the most health-conscious animals. They have an inbuilt set of scales to keep a good watch of their weight. Report 6points POST #115 What did the baby elephant ask his mom before they left for vacation?
"Can I borrow a suitcase? I only have a little trunk." Report 6points POST #116 Even monkeys will sing if you gibbon the chance. Report 6points POST #117 Why do cows never have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry! Report 6points POST #118 What do you call a reptile phoning a friend?
A crocodial. Report 6points POST #119 What do you call a bird that fights?
A taekwon-dodo. Report 6points POST #120 Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
She got too jumpy! Report 6points POST #121 Where are fish in orbit?
In trout-er space. Report 6points POST #122 Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker. Report 6points POST #123 What's the first thing you should do if a bull charges you?
Pay him! Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #124 Why shouldn't you play basketball with a pig?
Because it'll hog the ball! Report 6points POST #125 What did the elephant want on its birthday?
A trunk filled with gifts. Report 6points POST #126 The serpents had finalized their deal.
They decided to snake on it. Report 6points POST #127 The crow is always bragging about his fortunes.
He makes sure to let everybody know the caw-st of being so successful. Report 6points POST #128 The owls are so supportive, they're always hooting for you! Report 6points POST #129 Giraffes are the worst managers.
They really can’t see eye-to-eye with their employees. Report 6points POST #130 There was a jungle party happening in the night. The monkeys agreed to bring the chimp and dip. Report 6points POST #131 Wild cats have the best teeth in the zoo because they fl-ocelot. Report 6points POST #132 If you want something done right, do it yourself. Best not leave it to salmon else. Report 6points POST #133 Pandas are so lazy, they only do the bear minimum. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #134 When panda bears rob banks, they always wear a pandana! Report 6points POST #135 What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper. Report 6points POST #136 If whales were benevolent, they would be whale-wishers. Report 6points POST #137 I'm having a ruff day.
Don't terrier self up about it. There's sure to be a pawsitive outcome! Report 5points POST #138 I watched a documentary about beavers last night.
It was the best dam show ever! Report 5points POST #139 Hear about the disease birds give you if you kiss them?
It’s untweetable. Report 5points POST #140 What does a bee sit on?
Its bee-hind. Report 5points POST #141 When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees?
In the ark-hives! Report 5points POST #142 Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah? Report 5points POST #143 Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano?
He was playing by ear! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #144 Why did the frog have to walk to work?
Her car was toad. Report 5points POST #145 Why is it so hard to ride a camel on the weekend?
You’ve got to get over the hump. Report 5points POST #146 What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop. Report 5points POST #147 When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was rough. Report 5points POST #148 What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef. Report 5points POST #149 What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff.
BA DUM TS. Report 5points POST #150 How does the cat stop a video?
He presses the paws button. Report 5points POST #151 What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A Thesaurus. Report 5points POST #152 What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny. Report 5points POST #153 Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #154 What did the fish say after proposing an idea to his boss?
"Let minnow what you think." Report 5points POST #155 The only result you get when you watch a couple of silkworms wrestle is a tie. Report 5points POST #156 Shepherds are really bad at counting numbers in mathematics. They always fall asleep while counting sheep. Report 5points POST #157 A very popular destination of vacation for cows is not Hawaii but Moo Zealand. Report 5points POST #158 The pony wanted to drink water as his throat was a little horse. Report 5points POST #159 An elephant renders an argument invalid by claiming it to be irr-elephant. Report 5points POST #160 If your dog eats only garlic, then his bark will be worse than his bite. Report 5points POST #161 An absolute favorite city for all dogs is New Yorkie. Report 5points POST #162 Why was the bird sad?
Because he's a bluebird. Report 5points POST #163 What's a dog's favorite movie?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer's Bone. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) #164 What did the dolphin say when he was confused?
"Sorry, can you please be more Pacific?" Report 5points POST #165 The bear wanted to eat honey and fish, so he visited a restaurant. But he soon, angrily walked out as food there was un-bear-able. Report 5points POST #166 The tiger claimed that he climbed the biggest mountain in the forest.
No one believed the tiger as they thought he was lion! Report 5points POST #167 Cows that make up the bovine population in the Arctics are of a different breed.
They are eski-moos. Report 5points POST #168 Bowling is a beloved sport only for an alley cat and not a house cat. Report 5points POST #169 The lamb reached the wrong place while driving as he missed the ewe turn. Report 5points POST #170 There are only a few ants that are larger than an elephant. This is because they are a couple of gi-ants. Report 5points POST #171 The frog's car broke down in the middle of the road.
It had to be toad away. Report 5points POST #172 Whenever a cat goes to a party, he becomes delighted when he hears the song 'Three Blind Mice'! Report 5points POST #173 The alpaca returned home and asked his wife to get ready as they were leaving for a vacation. He said, "you get ready asap, alpaca your luggage". Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs #174 A corg-key is a bad dog as he only picks locks. Report 5points POST #175 What's so special about your deer?
I have no-eye-deer! Report 5points POST #176 Why did the pelican get banned from the restaurant?
He had a big bill and tried to get out of paying. Report 5points POST #177 Why did Mozart end up getting rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying "bach bach!" Report 5points POST #178 Why did the eagle get arrested for stealing from the doctor?
It was ill-eagle. Report 5points POST #179 What kind of ducks steal soap from the bath?
Robber ducks! Report 5points POST #180 The favorite color of cats is not red but purrrrrrr-ple. Report 5points POST #181 What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer. Report 5points POST #182 An utterly confused moose usually exclaims by saying, "I have absolutely no i-deer". Report 5points POST #183 If there was ever a jumping contest, then a kangaroo would easily jump higher than the Burj Khalifa. Kangaroos can jump, buildings can't! Report 5points POST #184 Once, 1000 hares were running loose at the city junction. The police went to see the situation and combed the entire area to capture them. Report 5points POST #185 A bunch of sheep was acting crazy on the ranch.
You see, it was shear madness! Report 5points POST #186 Bees become very dangerous when they start eating human brains.
They become little zombees. Report 5points POST #187 What did the horse say when it fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” Report 5points POST #188 Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Report 5points POST #189 What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?
“Odor in the court!” Report 5points POST #190 Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy. Report 5points POST #191 What is a goat’s favorite rom-com?
You’ve goat mail. Report 5points POST #192 What is a snake’s favorite childhood game?
Hide and sneak. Report 5points POST #193 A rancher was persuaded to cross-breed his cattle with hyenas.
It was a disaster. The offspring were the laughing stock of the community! Report 5points POST #194 What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Report 5points POST #195 Why did the whale cross the street?
To get to the other tide. Report 5points POST #196 How much money does a skunk have?
One scent! Report 5points POST #197 You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish. Report 5points POST #198 The leopard got caught by the police after the robbery.
He was so easy to spot! Report 5points POST #199 Thank ewe for being so kind to the animals at the petting zoo. Report 5points POST #200 What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?
Steven Seagull Report 5points POST #201 The lion woke up with a big smile on his face.
It was his favorite day of the week, Chewsday! Report 5points POST #202 Pelicans can do anything - it's called pelican, not pelican't. Report 5points POST #203 Snakes are only measured in inches - they don't have feet. Report 5points POST #204 Primates can go grab a drink - at the monkey bar! Report 5points POST #205 People flocked around the cute lion cubs in the enclosure. They were the mane attraction at the zoo. Report 5points POST #206 Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them. Report 4points POST #207 Pig puns are so boaring. Report 4points POST #208 What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George. Report 4points POST #209 What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard is the best thing for a hot dog. Report 4points POST #210 Why won’t a clam share?
I don’t know. I asked them but they just clam up. Report 4points POST #211 A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn't amoosed. Report 4points POST #212 What did the elephant say when he stopped in the middle of telling a story?
"Never mind, I realize this is irrelephant." Report 4points POST #213 I was going to tell you some animal puns about pigs… But they're a little boaring. Report 4points POST #214 The best way to greet a toad is by addressing it as, "Wart's new?" Report 4points POST #215 Spiders are very tech-savvy animals.
They communicate with each other using the World Wide Web. Report 4points POST #216 If there were 20 cats on a bus and suddenly one cat jumps out of the window. Seeing that, every single cat will jump out, and there will be not one cat left on the bus as they are all copycats. Report 4points POST #217 Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs. Report 4points POST #218 What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor. Report 4points POST #219 What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
A pie-thon! Report 4points POST #220 What kind of math do owls like?
Owlgebra. Report 4points POST #221 All monkeys have a favorite month of the year.
It’s Ape-ril. Report 4points Saimonas Lukošius POST #222 You can make a makeshift telephone in the wild with toucans and a string. Report 4points POST #223 What is the best way to cook a gator?
In a crock-pot. Report 3points POST #224 You goata be kidding me! Report 2points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Writer, BoredPanda staff Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.
Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything! Read more » Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Share your thoughts POST Duncan Duncan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Too long, I was done at #10, knowing there was 214 more to come. Barely smile-worthy. 2 2points reply Janice Strickland Janice Strickland Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Be better if someone made cartoons to accommodate the joke 1 1point reply WatermelonTheDutchie WatermelonTheDutchie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago i share a dad joke with my tennis coach each practice- these are awesome lol 0 0points reply POST Duncan Duncan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Too long, I was done at #10, knowing there was 214 more to come. Barely smile-worthy. 2 2points reply Janice Strickland Janice Strickland Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago Be better if someone made cartoons to accommodate the joke 1 1point reply WatermelonTheDutchie WatermelonTheDutchie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 months ago i share a dad joke with my tennis coach each practice- these are awesome lol 0 0points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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