"This Is Why Dating Is Miserable": Guy Accuses Date Of Using Him For His Money After She Goes To The Bathroom And The Check Arrives Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda “This Is Why Dating Is Miserable”: Guy Accuses Date Of Using Him For His Money After She Goes To The Bathroom And The Check Arrives Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 13points 2.3K Relationships9 months ago
“ This Is Why Dating Is Miserable” Guy Accuses Date Of Using Him For His Money After She Goes To The Bathroom And The Check Arrives Interview
Rokas Laurinavičius and
Ilona Baliūnaitė
A woman has turned to TikTok to express her frustration with a man who took her on a date, ghosted her, and then accused her of using him financially. In the clip that has since racked up over 1.5 million views, Nik explains that she met the guy through a dating app. Everything seemed great at first but after their first night out, the man ghosted her. When he finally came back, Nik learned that he wasn't too psyched about seeing her again because she "excused [herself] when the check came for dinner and then also drinks." Believing that the whole thing was a big misunderstanding, Nik shared their conversation with the caption "this is why dating is miserable." After matching with a guy on a dating site and absolutely hitting it off Nik went out with him for dinner and drinks
Image credits: __nikk1 But things took a weird turn right after it
Celebrity dating coach & relationship expert, keynote speaker, and author James Preece told Bored Panda that new beginnings are tricky. "People naturally judge far too quickly," Preece said. "Quite often they look for reasons a person isn't right for them rather than for reasons why they are suited. This is because deep down they are nervous about getting into a new relationship. If they are secure in themselves and clear about what they want, then they can make much better choices." UK's premier dating and relationship coach Kate Mansfield agrees. "A huge mistake that I see is where people make snap judgments to exclude someone who has great potential to be a good match too quickly, and equally where they decide that they are madly in love with someone who is not a good fit too fast as well," Mansfield, who won relationship expert of the year 2019 with Corporate Live Wire, explained. "The solution in all cases is to take your time before making a decision, unless you have a solid reason to make that decision." Mansfield said that everything depends on the situation and how well those involved read it. "Someone in the middle of a messy divorce probably isn't going to make a great partner right now, this is a red flag not to ignore if you want something serious. It's good to know your non-negotiables, such as drug-taking, smoking, and flakiness, and to stay strong to your boundaries. This way you are protecting yourself from pain and disappointment later." The good news is that James Preece reassured us rash decision-making is actually something we can fix. "I see this a lot with my dating coaching clients. I remind them that nobody is perfect, and we can all make mistakes," he said. "Until you know someone well, you are purely guessing that their behavior is a red flag. Maybe they are nervous, busy, or have other things going on in their lives. When you first start dating then you are not each other's priorities. So, it's important to look at the bigger picture. If problems reoccur then yes, it's probably a good idea to end things. However, if it's a one-off it may be more of an amber flag than a red one." Eventually the guy reappeared in her messages
Image credits: __nikk1 Image credits: __nikk1 Sadly, ghosting is a big part of today's dating. According to results from two 2018 studies, around 25 percent of people have experienced it at some point. The rise of electronic communications and popular dating apps like Grindr, Tinder, and Bumble have seemingly made it easier not only to make but also to break quick connections with someone you just met. Experts say that people ghost for all sorts of reasons. Here are just some of the many:Fear. Fear of the unknown is hardwired into humans. Some may just decide to end it because they're scared of getting to know someone new or scared of the possibility of breaking up;Conflict avoidance. Humans are instinctively social, and disrupting a social relationship of any sort, whether good or bad, can have an effect on our quality of life. As a result, people may feel more comfortable never seeing someone again rather than facing the potential conflict or resistance that can happen during a breakup;Lack of consequences. If they've barely just met someone, they might feel like there isn't anything at stake since the two of them probably don't share any friends or much else in common. It may not seem like a big deal if they just walk away;Self-care. If a relationship is having a negative effect on their quality of life, cutting off contact can sometimes seem like the only way to seek your own well-being without the fallout of a breakup or parting of way. And said that he didn t appreciate her using him just for his money
Nik said he got the wrong impression
Image credits: __nikk1 Research shows even more nuance to the complex emotions behind being ghosted. Two studies from 2010 and 2011 suggest that a breakup like this can sting even physically, since ghosting (and rejection in general) results in similar brain activity associated with bodily pain. Ghosting can also affect your self-esteem and negatively impact your current and future relationships, both romantic and otherwise. So it's not surprising that in an age where the online world is a big part of starting and maintaining relationships, being ghosted by someone with whom you've kept up with closely through text or social media can make you feel alienated or isolated from your digital communities. But he refused to change his mind
Image credits: __nikk1 "Don't take [ghosting] personally," Mansfield advised. "Try to move on and feel grateful instead of sad-that person isn't for you! Don't get hung up on the 'why'. You will drive yourself crazy. Use your energy and time exploring dating people who are into you and are not going to ghost you. Move on and keep going, don't allow it to put you off." Here are some ways you can help yourself confront and accept your feelings about being ghosted:Set boundaries. Is it just want a fling? Or are you interested in something more? Do you expect them to check in every day? Week? Month? Honesty and transparency can help you and the other person make sure neither of you cross any lines unknowingly;Give the person a time limit. Haven't heard from them for a few weeks or months and are getting tired of waiting? Give them an ultimatum. For instance, you can send them a message asking them to call or text in the next week, or you'll assume whatever relationship you had is over. This can sound harsh, but it can give you closure and restore lost feelings of control and power;Don't automatically blame yourself. You have no evidence or context for concluding why the other person left the relationship, so don't be too hard on yourself and cause yourself further emotional harm;Don't 'treat' your feelings with substances. Don't numb the pain with drugs, alcohol, or other quick fixes. They are temporary, and you may find yourself confronting the difficult feelings later at a more inconvenient time, such as in your next relationship;Spend time with friends or family. Seek the companionship of people whom you trust the most and with whom you share mutual feelings of love and respect. The warmth of positive, healthy relationships can put your ghosting situation into perspective;Seek professional help. Don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or counselor who can help you articulate the complex feelings you're having. They can also give you further coping strategies to make sure you come out the other side just as strong, if not stronger, than before. In dating, as in many other aspects of life, be honest with yourself, trust your gut, and things will fall into place sooner or later. "Treat people how you'd like to be treated," dating guru James Preece summarized the ordeal. "It's better to be honest and politely let someone down rather than simply vanishing. It might be hard, but at least it allows them the opportunity for some closure. If you ghost them then they'll always be wondering what they did wrong and hoping you might pop back up again one day." The woman s description of the situation went viral on TikTok
@__nikk1& this is why dating is miserable🙃♬ original sound – Nik So she released a part two
Image credits: __nikk1 Image credits: __nikk1 Image credits: __nikk1 Image credits: __nikk1@__nikk1 Reply to @veemoney4 ♬ original sound – Nik Here s what people said after learning what had happened
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Ilona Baliūnaitė Ilona Baliūnaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Ilona is a photo editor at Bored Panda with an MA in Communication Of Creative Society. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a social media manager and freelance graphic designer. When she is not photoshopping or searching for the most interesting photos for stories, she is usually watching good movies and says that The Godfather is the best. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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"Well let's get the check. What? You already paid? What was my portion? I'll catch the drinks then..." And if he's complaining this much about picking up the tab, he does not have a trust fund. I work with people that have trust funds...they don't give treating friends or dates a second thought. I'm also wondering if he never left for a "business trip" but had other girls or possibly a wife he had to go home to. 54 54points reply Random Panda Random Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago That's what I thought too, why didn't she ask to cover her part? Or bought drinks at the next place after he paid for dinner? Awfully convenient she was off to the restroom every time the bill came. 35 35points reply Load More Replies... ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) She only went to the restroom one of the times. I assume she thought it was his treat since he asked her out and picked everything, though she did pay for her own ice cream. He could have said something about wanting her to pay half before the date, while they were on the date, or afterward, like, "Hey, I had a great time, but next time, can we go halfsies? We can also plan the date together instead of me picking everything." Instead, he never said anything and then ghosted her for weeks. When he did finally speak to her, he accused her of purposefully running out on the check. He could have been less rude and simply said he didn't like paying for everything on their date (despite the fact that, again, he planned and picked it all), but instead he chose to make accusations and criticize her. I think she made an honest mistake in her assumption that he intended to pay, but he's the one who was presumptuous and rude by never speaking up and then turning around and accusing her of being conniving and using him for a free meal. 4 4points reply Rocky Mom Rocky Mom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) How are you getting down voted! People, take charge of your own needs and wants and do not assume other people "should just know better". If it meant that much to this man, as he is claiming is his entire reason for "avoiding " her, then he should have spoken about it, at LEAST one time! 6 6points reply Wendy Dyba Wendy Dyba Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago He says she did it at the restaurant and at the bar. Assuming that's correct, it does seem a bit odd. 1 1point reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I'd think same from her acting and from her unnecessary explanation first sentence it sounded like she went to bathroom more than once. Which can happen. 1 1point reply george mihaita george mihaita Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Assuming you get a free meal is the problem with women today. -3 -3points reply Donna Leske Donna Leske Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I also think she spun it a tad to make herself a more innocent BUT he 'feels' like a moody headcase. And, once again, we likely do not have all of the story. 0 0points reply ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) He invited her out as far as I can tell. I usually expect the person who invited me on a date to pay (or I pay if I invited them) unless they say they would like to go halfsies, especially if they choose the restaurant. The place he chose could have been out of her budget, but he didn't even bother to ask her first. He also basically picked the ice cream place without asking her budget. If he expected her to pay half, he should have mentioned it and not made reservations without asking her if she was okay to pay for the dinner, ice cream, and drinks he had planned first. Expecting someone to "innately" know to offer to pay for a night YOU planned and then criticizing them when they don't is rude when you asked them out and picked everything. Open your mouth and say what you prefer instead of expecting people to be mindreaders. 11 11points reply Nia Feels Nia Feels Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago If I had read your comment sooner I would not have posted mine. Its refreshing to see that chivalry,manners & proper etiquette are alive and well somewhere. 1 1point reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Somewhere maybe. In old books and romantic dreams. Real world not so much. 1 1point reply De Gueb De Gueb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I knew a young guy that was loaded, his Dad was very (private jet) wealthy. He was tired of people milking him, he couldn't trust anybody and let alone the girls. You can't imagen the gold diggers that flocked around him. As a Man I used to like to pay, specially on the first date but when girls take it for granted that you going to whip out your plastic and cover everything it's annoying. Thanks for the dinner I'll pay for the drinks, or next time I'll take you to a nice restaurant would be nice occasionally. 5 5points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago BTA. I agree. He recated like a child with his "trip" and ghosting her. But she should have offered to pay half dinner or the drinks. I could believe that the first time she left was an honest coincidence. But she never offered to pay anything. Both assholes. 4 4points reply Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Thanks. Both just had to be more open and honest. He is surely to blame aswell, but she is likewise. At least both quite clearly know that they aren’t meant to be 2 2points reply Imogene Cargeaux Imogene Cargeaux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Maybe he already paid and like.. she just thought that's what he wanted to do? If he wanted to split the check he could have waited for her to come back and given her the option to ask... she was in the bathroom. How was she supposed to split the check? Especially if he already paid for it. Did she think he was going to be rude if she asked after? Did she think he wanted to pay for it all? Why does she have to make her intentions clear... but he gets to do whatever he wants and not make his clear!? He could have saved the check to split.. since he's the one that pressed about it. She had zero obligation to ask after the fact. HE PAID FOR IT WITHOUT HER! lol. Why are we blaming her for his issues? 1 1point reply Nikki Sevven Nikki Sevven Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Right? Did she think they just left without paying? 1 1point reply Moezzzz Moezzzz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago She did pay for their ice cream 0 0points reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago @Moezzzz ..Re-read that. She paid for HER Ice cream. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Who cares. Go away. 20 20points reply Ham Explosion Ham Explosion Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Thats the spirit 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Lyn Moffett Lyn Moffett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I couldn't read most of her responses as she put her photo in front of them. It's only manners to offer to go Dutch 17 17points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago There are cultural differences. In many cultures in Europe, it's considered extremely rude to ask someone out and expect them to pay. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago That’s why she pointed out so eagerly that he reserved and picked the places. Same as he pointed out „and you ordered everything you liked“. Both seem to have a quite firm point of view, but none could express and stress this point as it seems. He seems a bit more honest in the later responses, while she seems kinda in denial about her not wanting to pay. Convenience might align with your own intentions, but it’s up to you to act accordingly, or against, plus to express your true feelings and intentions. Her not asking to pay her part, or at least if he was fine paying hers gives me the impression she never had the intent of paying for herself. Which can be ok, if you at least express this desire, and stand behind it. What I see here though is deflecting and pushing the blame around, so none needs to take any responsibility. And this I quite dislike in humans. 10 10points reply ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) She paid for her own ice cream, so clearly she was okay paying for herself. As you said, he picked everything and never spoke up about wanting her to pay half, so I don't really understand how she was supposed to assume. He should have mentioned wanting her to go half and asked her if she was okay with the restaurant before he made the reservation. If someone asks me out and makes a reservation, I assume it's their treat unless they say otherwise. Don't commit me to pay for a restaurant you haven't asked if I'm willing to pay for, and don't expect me to be a mindreader. 13 13points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago ^This. 4 4points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Why do you assume that? Is there a rule in your family or something? I never assumed that, like ever. -2 -2points reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Where in Europe? I lived in one European country 24 years and now 10 in another and in both it's not rude nor expected. Besides it's pretty stupid to expect anything, simply if someone paid for you, you ask about it (when you were in bathroom). Oh btw in Netherlands you'd be not only splitting bill but big chance you'd split exactly what you consumed, not 50/50. 5 5points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago The entire Eastern part and France apparently. At least my French classmate didn't allow me to pay (it wasn't a date, we went out to grab something after a party, I barely knew the guy). He said that in France it's a matter of pride that women don't pay. 0 0points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago That's totally false information. -1 -1point reply george mihaita george mihaita Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago It's never, in any culture on Earth, considered rude ro OFFER TO PAY for yourself. It's just a line golddiggers use. 1 1point reply Kate Johnson Kate Johnson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago They weren't in Europe, so it doesn't matter in this case. 1 1point reply Hugo Raible Hugo Raible Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago "Asking out" means "meet each other to get to know each other better", not "I'm paying you so that you spend time with me". That is a different thing. 1 1point reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Now, these days where a woman wants equality, let her pitch in.half or pick up the tip. That's polite. 0 0points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago In many cultures in Europe? In which cave exacty? Name one. Let alone that they were matched up, both on a dating site, nobody asked nobody in particular. -1 -1point reply Load More Comments POST Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Why did she never question about him paying for it when she returned from the restrooms? "Well let's get the check. What? You already paid? What was my portion? I'll catch the drinks then..." And if he's complaining this much about picking up the tab, he does not have a trust fund. I work with people that have trust funds...they don't give treating friends or dates a second thought. I'm also wondering if he never left for a "business trip" but had other girls or possibly a wife he had to go home to. 54 54points reply Random Panda Random Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago That's what I thought too, why didn't she ask to cover her part? Or bought drinks at the next place after he paid for dinner? Awfully convenient she was off to the restroom every time the bill came. 35 35points reply Load More Replies... ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) She only went to the restroom one of the times. I assume she thought it was his treat since he asked her out and picked everything, though she did pay for her own ice cream. He could have said something about wanting her to pay half before the date, while they were on the date, or afterward, like, "Hey, I had a great time, but next time, can we go halfsies? We can also plan the date together instead of me picking everything." Instead, he never said anything and then ghosted her for weeks. When he did finally speak to her, he accused her of purposefully running out on the check. He could have been less rude and simply said he didn't like paying for everything on their date (despite the fact that, again, he planned and picked it all), but instead he chose to make accusations and criticize her. I think she made an honest mistake in her assumption that he intended to pay, but he's the one who was presumptuous and rude by never speaking up and then turning around and accusing her of being conniving and using him for a free meal. 4 4points reply Rocky Mom Rocky Mom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) How are you getting down voted! People, take charge of your own needs and wants and do not assume other people "should just know better". If it meant that much to this man, as he is claiming is his entire reason for "avoiding " her, then he should have spoken about it, at LEAST one time! 6 6points reply Wendy Dyba Wendy Dyba Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago He says she did it at the restaurant and at the bar. Assuming that's correct, it does seem a bit odd. 1 1point reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I'd think same from her acting and from her unnecessary explanation first sentence it sounded like she went to bathroom more than once. Which can happen. 1 1point reply george mihaita george mihaita Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Assuming you get a free meal is the problem with women today. -3 -3points reply Donna Leske Donna Leske Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I also think she spun it a tad to make herself a more innocent BUT he 'feels' like a moody headcase. And, once again, we likely do not have all of the story. 0 0points reply ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) He invited her out as far as I can tell. I usually expect the person who invited me on a date to pay (or I pay if I invited them) unless they say they would like to go halfsies, especially if they choose the restaurant. The place he chose could have been out of her budget, but he didn't even bother to ask her first. He also basically picked the ice cream place without asking her budget. If he expected her to pay half, he should have mentioned it and not made reservations without asking her if she was okay to pay for the dinner, ice cream, and drinks he had planned first. Expecting someone to "innately" know to offer to pay for a night YOU planned and then criticizing them when they don't is rude when you asked them out and picked everything. Open your mouth and say what you prefer instead of expecting people to be mindreaders. 11 11points reply Nia Feels Nia Feels Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago If I had read your comment sooner I would not have posted mine. Its refreshing to see that chivalry,manners & proper etiquette are alive and well somewhere. 1 1point reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Somewhere maybe. In old books and romantic dreams. Real world not so much. 1 1point reply De Gueb De Gueb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I knew a young guy that was loaded, his Dad was very (private jet) wealthy. He was tired of people milking him, he couldn't trust anybody and let alone the girls. You can't imagen the gold diggers that flocked around him. As a Man I used to like to pay, specially on the first date but when girls take it for granted that you going to whip out your plastic and cover everything it's annoying. Thanks for the dinner I'll pay for the drinks, or next time I'll take you to a nice restaurant would be nice occasionally. 5 5points reply Ozacoter Ozacoter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago BTA. I agree. He recated like a child with his "trip" and ghosting her. But she should have offered to pay half dinner or the drinks. I could believe that the first time she left was an honest coincidence. But she never offered to pay anything. Both assholes. 4 4points reply Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Thanks. Both just had to be more open and honest. He is surely to blame aswell, but she is likewise. At least both quite clearly know that they aren’t meant to be 2 2points reply Imogene Cargeaux Imogene Cargeaux Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Maybe he already paid and like.. she just thought that's what he wanted to do? If he wanted to split the check he could have waited for her to come back and given her the option to ask... she was in the bathroom. How was she supposed to split the check? Especially if he already paid for it. Did she think he was going to be rude if she asked after? Did she think he wanted to pay for it all? Why does she have to make her intentions clear... but he gets to do whatever he wants and not make his clear!? He could have saved the check to split.. since he's the one that pressed about it. She had zero obligation to ask after the fact. HE PAID FOR IT WITHOUT HER! lol. Why are we blaming her for his issues? 1 1point reply Nikki Sevven Nikki Sevven Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Right? Did she think they just left without paying? 1 1point reply Moezzzz Moezzzz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago She did pay for their ice cream 0 0points reply Carol Emory Carol Emory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago @Moezzzz ..Re-read that. She paid for HER Ice cream. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Who cares. Go away. 20 20points reply Ham Explosion Ham Explosion Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Thats the spirit 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Lyn Moffett Lyn Moffett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I couldn't read most of her responses as she put her photo in front of them. It's only manners to offer to go Dutch 17 17points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago There are cultural differences. In many cultures in Europe, it's considered extremely rude to ask someone out and expect them to pay. 17 17points reply Load More Replies... Kanuli Kanuli Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago That’s why she pointed out so eagerly that he reserved and picked the places. Same as he pointed out „and you ordered everything you liked“. Both seem to have a quite firm point of view, but none could express and stress this point as it seems. He seems a bit more honest in the later responses, while she seems kinda in denial about her not wanting to pay. Convenience might align with your own intentions, but it’s up to you to act accordingly, or against, plus to express your true feelings and intentions. Her not asking to pay her part, or at least if he was fine paying hers gives me the impression she never had the intent of paying for herself. Which can be ok, if you at least express this desire, and stand behind it. What I see here though is deflecting and pushing the blame around, so none needs to take any responsibility. And this I quite dislike in humans. 10 10points reply ForgotMyPWSendHelp ForgotMyPWSendHelp Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) She paid for her own ice cream, so clearly she was okay paying for herself. As you said, he picked everything and never spoke up about wanting her to pay half, so I don't really understand how she was supposed to assume. He should have mentioned wanting her to go half and asked her if she was okay with the restaurant before he made the reservation. If someone asks me out and makes a reservation, I assume it's their treat unless they say otherwise. Don't commit me to pay for a restaurant you haven't asked if I'm willing to pay for, and don't expect me to be a mindreader. 13 13points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago ^This. 4 4points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Why do you assume that? Is there a rule in your family or something? I never assumed that, like ever. -2 -2points reply snipergun snipergun Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Where in Europe? I lived in one European country 24 years and now 10 in another and in both it's not rude nor expected. Besides it's pretty stupid to expect anything, simply if someone paid for you, you ask about it (when you were in bathroom). Oh btw in Netherlands you'd be not only splitting bill but big chance you'd split exactly what you consumed, not 50/50. 5 5points reply UpupaEpops UpupaEpops Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago The entire Eastern part and France apparently. At least my French classmate didn't allow me to pay (it wasn't a date, we went out to grab something after a party, I barely knew the guy). He said that in France it's a matter of pride that women don't pay. 0 0points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago That's totally false information. -1 -1point reply george mihaita george mihaita Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago It's never, in any culture on Earth, considered rude ro OFFER TO PAY for yourself. It's just a line golddiggers use. 1 1point reply Kate Johnson Kate Johnson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago They weren't in Europe, so it doesn't matter in this case. 1 1point reply Hugo Raible Hugo Raible Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago "Asking out" means "meet each other to get to know each other better", not "I'm paying you so that you spend time with me". That is a different thing. 1 1point reply Diane Knight Diane Knight Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Now, these days where a woman wants equality, let her pitch in.half or pick up the tip. That's polite. 0 0points reply Monika Ikonomu Monika Ikonomu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago In many cultures in Europe? In which cave exacty? Name one. Let alone that they were matched up, both on a dating site, nobody asked nobody in particular. -1 -1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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