Cheating Ex-Fiancé Won't Pay For The Canceled Wedding Costs, So Woman Decides To Sell His Family Heirloom Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Cheating Ex-Fiancé Won’t Pay For The Canceled Wedding Costs, So Woman Decides To Sell His Family Heirloom Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 64points 3K People, Relationships9 months ago

Cheating Ex-Fiancé Won’ t Pay For The Canceled Wedding Costs So Woman Decides To Sell His Family Heirloom Interview With Author

Ieva Gailiūtė and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Cheating is probably one of the biggest relationship killers. More often than not, finding out that the love of your life was disloyal to you causes a whirlwind of emotions and an aching heart. And it's especially difficult when it leaves you with a canceled wedding and a considerable amount of debt. One woman took her story to Reddit, confessing she found out that her fiancé was having an affair just a few weeks before tying the knot. Having to call off the venue, catering, and other services (which were mostly non-refundable), the author found herself $20,000 out of pocket. "It isn't my problem you took out a loan you can't pay back," her former partner said, not planning to help her out. The woman turned to the AITA community to ask if she was in the wrong for selling her ex's great-grandmother's ring-a family heirloom-to cover the costs of their canceled wedding. Read on for the full story.

This woman shared the drama-filled argument with her cheating ex-fiancé after she sold his family heirloom ring to cover the canceled wedding costs

Image credits: Unsplash (not the actual photo) Image credits: ISoldAFamilyHeirloom Bored Panda reached out to the author of this post, user ISoldAFamilyHeirloom, whose real name is Regina, to talk a bit more about this situation and the reaction it received. Regina decided to share her story online because she felt really bad and wanted to get an outside opinion, so she sought Reddit's AITA forum. "When I first posted the story, I was hoping I would be able to get at least one or two comments that would tell me it straight, so I was surprised to get so much attention from it," the author said. Regina thought that the thread got so much attention because of Mason's behavior: "Many were surprised that he ignored my initial threats of selling it then got angry when I actually did it. A lot of people's comments were negative towards him and I feel like it was his erratic behavior that made the post blow up." The author revealed that she was in complete shock when she read the comments: "After all the hate I got from my family, I was sure the comments would be ripping me to shreds, so I was relieved when I got voted NTA. I convinced myself that I was an awful person for doing it and was being selfish trying to clear my own debts. So I'm incredibly grateful for everyone who has shown support." Regina would still like to add that despite the outpouring of support, she still feels awful about selling the ring. "If I could go back and change it, I would've waited longer before doing something so extreme. After contacting the website ample times, Mason's been unable to get the ring back and we don't think he's going to see it again," she told Bored Panda. So while some Redditors commented that the author is NTA, saying that "if you don't want to lose a valuable family heirloom, don't give it to someone and then cheat on them." Others really couldn't decide, thinking that both partners were at fault here. However, many of them were truly concerned about the legality of it all. According to FindLaw, the world's leading provider of online legal information for consumers and small businesses, there are generally three ways that courts can classify engagement rings. The first would be to see it as an outright gift that cannot be recovered. For that, there needs to be proof of the giver's intent to give the item as a gift, the actual giving process, and the receiver's acceptance of the ring. "In most cases involving revoked gifts (where all three requirements were shown), courts have held that the item involved was a gift, and the receiver got to keep the item," they stated. Then there's treating the ring as a conditional gift that is based on a future event or action taking place. "If the event doesn't occur, then the gift-giver has the right to get the gift back. Most courts classify engagement rings as a conditional gift and award the engagement ring to the giver in broken engagement cases." Lastly, there are times when an engagement ring can qualify as compensation. "For example, in one case, a woman had given her fiancé money and even labor to improve his business. In exchange for her money and labor, he gave her a valuable diamond ring and proposed marriage." In such a situation, the court could award the ring to the receiver. When it comes to family heirlooms, they are much more than just pretty knick-knacks. Giving back anything that holds special sentimental value is generally the right thing to do. However, the situation varies from couple to couple. It's is not always crystal clear who is the lawful owner of the gift, and then there are different approaches by the courts. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you could try meeting with a family law attorney for advice or if you want to see a state-by-state breakdown of who gets to keep the ring, you can find it right here.

Some Redditors were very supportive of the woman thinking she s NTA in this situation

However others were on the fence saying that both partners acted like jerks

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like “The Police Arrived, Saw The Scale Of The Brawl And Called For Backup”: 30 Of The Most Shocking And Inappropriate Things People Witnessed At Weddings Indrė Lukošiūtė 40 Times Weddings Were So Bad, They Deserved To Be Shamed On This Facebook Page Viktorija Ošikaitė 30 Times Rich People Made It Clear To Everyone Else Just How Out Of Touch They Are Without Even Trying Ieva Pečiulytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Leave a comment POST buttonpusher buttonpusher Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Don't gift a valuable family heirloom to someone you're gonna cheat on. I saw this elsewhere and someone said it's a conditional gift, he broke the conditions so it's hers. Not sure how true that is though. The worst decision here is getting yourself into debt for a wedding. 42 42points reply DaVo DaVo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Wait. What? Taking out a loan for a wedding? And on top of that: only in your name??? 21 21points reply John Baker John Baker Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) Assuming this story is true (and that's a very big "if"), your fiance was a jerk, but a family heirloom has significance that goes beyond whatever problems the two of you had. It was important to more people than just him. Yes, you're the asshole. 9 9points reply Alma Muminovic Alma Muminovic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Why does she have to worry about his family being upset? Isn’t that something he should worry about and keep his word and help pay for the cancelled wedding since it was cancelled because of him? Then she never would of sold the ring to begin with. He basically forced her hand cause who wants to be cheated on a month before the wedding AND be in debt for 20k for something that didn’t happen? While the asshole gets away scott free. Come now…that ain't right. 47 47points reply Load More Replies... Ms.GB Ms.GB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Not only that but she messaged him twice telling him if he didn't agree to help pay his share she would sell the ring and he didn't take it seriously, if I were the family I would be pissed off at him. 9 9points reply abby smink abby smink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Because it's a family heirloom ring. As in, he didn't just go to Walmart and pick something up. It had been in his family for generations. -18 -18points reply There Is No Planet B There Is No Planet B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Who cares? He and his family didn't care when she was risking bankruptcy for what was supposed to be their wedding, so now they can all go pound sand, in my opinion. 8 8points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Yes it is and I would be very sad to sell it, but if neither he nor his family would help me pay for the wedding HE broke, then it's on them. 3 3points reply Fat Harry Fat Harry Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago An engagement ring is a contract to marry. If she breaks it off, she gives the ring back. If he breaks it off, she keeps it. While she may have been the one to cancel the wedding, it was *his* infidelity that caused it. She is definitely not the asshole here, and I'm amazed that anyone can think she is. 18 18points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Here in the US, it varies by state and only 5 states consider fault in who gets the ring. In the other 45, it's no-fault. So the ring goes back to the giver no matter what the reason was for the marriage not going through, and no matter which party initiated cancelling the wedding. -2 -2points reply Eepe Eepe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) Honu … The ring is typically considered a gift. Look up laws on gifting… 4 4points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago In the US, it is not like regular gifts. It is a conditional gift. It is given in consideration of marriage. 0 0points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I don't care about laws like these. I would give a ring back regardless. But this is a special circumstance. He left her in debt! -1 -1point reply Jack Holt Jack Holt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago No she's not the AH. If the dude thought so much if the family heirloom in the first place he wouldn't have offered it ti a chick he was half-arsed about, cheated on her, then not respond when fairly warned. If the heirloom was that precious, he wouldn't have been such a d**k about it. 14 14points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Then he shouldn't have cheated on her and ignored her texts. 10 10points reply Aliquid Aliquid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago John - you said "heirloom has significance that goes beyond whatever problems the two of you had"... yes but $20,000 of debt that will follow her for many years ALSO has significance beyond whatever problems they have. 7 7points reply John Baker John Baker Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago It was her decision to assume that debt. She has no one to blame for it but herself - but now she's forcing the delinquent would-be groom's relatives to pay the price for actions they had no part in and likely could have done nothing about. 0 0points reply Aliquid Aliquid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago It was his decision to give her the ring, he has no one to blame for that but himself. It was his fault that the engagement didn't go through, he has no one to blame but himself. The relatives shouldn't have let him have the ring in the first place if he was so irresponsible. 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Agreed, upvote 100 times. This was just... There's so many red flags and so much a-holery going around... 3 3points reply Tish Carter Tish Carter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago There's a long standing tradition of the woman keeping the ring if an engagement is broken due to the traditional wedding costs belonging to the bride's family. For many years it was illegal to even require the ring to be returned and I'm certain in some states it still is on the books. The second the ring is given it's not his property anymore and as there is no monetary value for sentiment... Needed to be purchased back like you would any other exchanged property. 1 1point reply abby smink abby smink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Yeah, and never, ever take out a loan you can't repay. S**t happens. You can't always count on things going the way you want them too. He was wrong, but she solved it the wrong way too. 1 1point reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago If he'd kept his part of the bargain and paid half the cost, she wouldn't have had to do that. 9 9points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago She didn't have to do that. It was one avenue to getting money back, but not the only or best. She could've tried something legal, like going to court or arbitration. She is totally justified in being furious with him, but that doesn't legally or ethically justify every action she may choose to take. -2 -2points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I would have gone to his family first. Tell them what he did and ask them to either get him to pay or ask them to pay themselves. 4 4points reply Jessica Rabbit Jessica Rabbit Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I concur 1 1point reply Memere Memere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) I totally agree. She really should have gone to his family when he refused to help pay off the loan (even tho I agree that the loan was a stupid thing to do). I would have contacted his parents/sibling/whoever & let them know the situation first. She's just as big an a**hole as he is. -2 -2points reply Load More Comments POST buttonpusher buttonpusher Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Don't gift a valuable family heirloom to someone you're gonna cheat on. I saw this elsewhere and someone said it's a conditional gift, he broke the conditions so it's hers. Not sure how true that is though. The worst decision here is getting yourself into debt for a wedding. 42 42points reply DaVo DaVo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Wait. What? Taking out a loan for a wedding? And on top of that: only in your name??? 21 21points reply John Baker John Baker Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) Assuming this story is true (and that's a very big "if"), your fiance was a jerk, but a family heirloom has significance that goes beyond whatever problems the two of you had. It was important to more people than just him. Yes, you're the asshole. 9 9points reply Alma Muminovic Alma Muminovic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Why does she have to worry about his family being upset? Isn’t that something he should worry about and keep his word and help pay for the cancelled wedding since it was cancelled because of him? Then she never would of sold the ring to begin with. He basically forced her hand cause who wants to be cheated on a month before the wedding AND be in debt for 20k for something that didn’t happen? While the asshole gets away scott free. Come now…that ain't right. 47 47points reply Load More Replies... Ms.GB Ms.GB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Not only that but she messaged him twice telling him if he didn't agree to help pay his share she would sell the ring and he didn't take it seriously, if I were the family I would be pissed off at him. 9 9points reply abby smink abby smink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Because it's a family heirloom ring. As in, he didn't just go to Walmart and pick something up. It had been in his family for generations. -18 -18points reply There Is No Planet B There Is No Planet B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Who cares? He and his family didn't care when she was risking bankruptcy for what was supposed to be their wedding, so now they can all go pound sand, in my opinion. 8 8points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Yes it is and I would be very sad to sell it, but if neither he nor his family would help me pay for the wedding HE broke, then it's on them. 3 3points reply Fat Harry Fat Harry Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 9 months ago An engagement ring is a contract to marry. If she breaks it off, she gives the ring back. If he breaks it off, she keeps it. While she may have been the one to cancel the wedding, it was *his* infidelity that caused it. She is definitely not the asshole here, and I'm amazed that anyone can think she is. 18 18points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Here in the US, it varies by state and only 5 states consider fault in who gets the ring. In the other 45, it's no-fault. So the ring goes back to the giver no matter what the reason was for the marriage not going through, and no matter which party initiated cancelling the wedding. -2 -2points reply Eepe Eepe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) Honu … The ring is typically considered a gift. Look up laws on gifting… 4 4points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago In the US, it is not like regular gifts. It is a conditional gift. It is given in consideration of marriage. 0 0points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I don't care about laws like these. I would give a ring back regardless. But this is a special circumstance. He left her in debt! -1 -1point reply Jack Holt Jack Holt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago No she's not the AH. If the dude thought so much if the family heirloom in the first place he wouldn't have offered it ti a chick he was half-arsed about, cheated on her, then not respond when fairly warned. If the heirloom was that precious, he wouldn't have been such a d**k about it. 14 14points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Then he shouldn't have cheated on her and ignored her texts. 10 10points reply Aliquid Aliquid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago John - you said "heirloom has significance that goes beyond whatever problems the two of you had"... yes but $20,000 of debt that will follow her for many years ALSO has significance beyond whatever problems they have. 7 7points reply John Baker John Baker Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago It was her decision to assume that debt. She has no one to blame for it but herself - but now she's forcing the delinquent would-be groom's relatives to pay the price for actions they had no part in and likely could have done nothing about. 0 0points reply Aliquid Aliquid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago It was his decision to give her the ring, he has no one to blame for that but himself. It was his fault that the engagement didn't go through, he has no one to blame but himself. The relatives shouldn't have let him have the ring in the first place if he was so irresponsible. 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Agreed, upvote 100 times. This was just... There's so many red flags and so much a-holery going around... 3 3points reply Tish Carter Tish Carter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago There's a long standing tradition of the woman keeping the ring if an engagement is broken due to the traditional wedding costs belonging to the bride's family. For many years it was illegal to even require the ring to be returned and I'm certain in some states it still is on the books. The second the ring is given it's not his property anymore and as there is no monetary value for sentiment... Needed to be purchased back like you would any other exchanged property. 1 1point reply abby smink abby smink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago Yeah, and never, ever take out a loan you can't repay. S**t happens. You can't always count on things going the way you want them too. He was wrong, but she solved it the wrong way too. 1 1point reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago If he'd kept his part of the bargain and paid half the cost, she wouldn't have had to do that. 9 9points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago She didn't have to do that. It was one avenue to getting money back, but not the only or best. She could've tried something legal, like going to court or arbitration. She is totally justified in being furious with him, but that doesn't legally or ethically justify every action she may choose to take. -2 -2points reply Vicky Zar Vicky Zar Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I would have gone to his family first. Tell them what he did and ask them to either get him to pay or ask them to pay themselves. 4 4points reply Jessica Rabbit Jessica Rabbit Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago I concur 1 1point reply Memere Memere Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 9 months ago (edited) I totally agree. She really should have gone to his family when he refused to help pay off the loan (even tho I agree that the loan was a stupid thing to do). I would have contacted his parents/sibling/whoever & let them know the situation first. She's just as big an a**hole as he is. -2 -2points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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