"My Mother Started Crying And Left The Room": Parents Kick Out 18-Year-Old Son, Then Get Upset He Doesn't Want To Return Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda “ My Mother Started Crying And Left The Room” Parents Kick Out 18-Year-Old Son Then Get Upset He Doesn t Want To Return Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 194points 4.6K People, Social Issues8 months ago

“ My Mother Started Crying And Left The Room” Parents Kick Out 18-Year-Old Son Then Get Upset He Doesn t Want To Return

Robertas Lisickis and
Saulė Tolstych
Moving out of your parents' home is one of the most common signs of becoming an adult. And while it's more of a social norm than law, most people move out because they start school in another location, or they have a job that pays well, proving them with financial stability that leads to independence. But staying with your parents is cool too, for more or less the same reasons, and there is no shame in it. But then there are more unique situations. One such situation recently found its way onto Reddit where an 18-year-old son was specifically asked to move out once he's old enough, but then the parents had a change of heart, but were too late, and for some reason the son's at fault? More Info: Reddit

Moving out is part of becoming an adult but what do you do if your parents suddenly start asking you to move back in with them after asking you to leave

Image credits: Fil.Al (not the actual photo) OK, so let's rewind. Reddit user u/Independent-Boot-789 went to the Am I The A-Hole community to get some perspective on a quite unorthodox predicament involving him moving out. In particular, the 18-year-old's parents always wanted to be child-free, but ended up with a son, whom they kept because of religious reasons. While they have always supported him financially, they were emotionally distant and had agreed with the son at a younger age that he was to prepare to leave them once he hit 18.

Well one Redditor had quite a unique situation regarding moving out which he shared with the AITA community

Image credits: Independent-Boot-789 So, fast forward to about a week before the fateful birthday, they all sit down, have a chat, during which they make sure the son isn't leaving the nest unprepared, and the day after his birthday, he departs. Now, instead of moving in with friends and sharing an apartment, like he originally had planned, he was offered a much better deal in a friend's family's furnished basement for $150, which includes utilities. He took the latter. It is important to mention that both he and the family that offered him a place to stay are all of Indian descent. Image credits: Independent-Boot-789 OP had no contact with his parents for a while, until one day he was asked to come over for dinner. This was when the parents offered him the opportunity to move back in, rent-free and all. But he didn't want to. You see, when he was living with them, he always felt this awkwardness at home, but now that he's independent, he doesn't feel that way, and he actually feels great. So, he declined the offer, which immediately upset both of the parents. So much, in fact, that mom started crying and dad started scolding him, saying friends are distancing themselves from the family because there's apparently a rumor that they had kicked their own son out and another Indian family took him in. Image credits: Independent-Boot-789 The only thing he had to say is that it was exactly that, it wasn't his concern to do damage control for something the parents decided to do, and they ought to face the consequences. And now the whole family is effectively terrorizing the 18-year-old for this. The AITA community didn't even have to think, they immediately knew who the a-holes were in this situation and ruled OP isn't one. The general consensus was that OP's family is very wrong here, wanting to create a good image of themselves rather than actually caring for their son, let alone being willing to deal with the consequences of their own actions. It should have been something they ought to have at least considered at that point.

In the end people ruled that OP s family are the bad guys here showering OP with support

Others even pointed out that moving back in won't resolve the issue in any way, mostly because of them not caring, but also because the damage is done. All in all, the community was supportive, and OP even added an edit thanking them for it. The post ended up going viral with over 21,100 upvotes, 60 plus Reddit awards, and nearly 1,200 comments. You can look through the post in context here, but don't run off just yet as we'd like to hear your ideas and opinions in the comment section below! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Robertas Lisickis Follow Unfollow Robertas Lisickis Writer, BoredPanda staff Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and content creator. After his studies at LCC International University, where he got a BA in English Language and Literature, Robertas went on to do freelance teaching, translation, and copywriting work, primarily specializing in IT. He spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked up by Bored Panda. Whenever there’s free time, he spends it playing Gwent, or hosting Dungeons & Dragons sessions for his mostly chaotic neutral team. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Long story short, I had been having trouble with combined highschool and college classes, with severe clinical depression boardering on suicidal, and had not left the house in three months. Middle child of 7 and neither parent cared what happened with me. Eldest brother helped me find jobs that paid enough for a squallor, and I moved. My divorced mother had a fit, constantly calling to shame me since "no woman should move on her own, only into her husbands house". I didnt even date at the time, and she was normally absent in my life. I didn't realize the suffocating damage they were doing to me until I was gone. I have rarely stayed in contact since, and with years I learned how horrible they really were. 84 84points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Eiram, I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel relieved to live somewhere else and I hope you are happy now. Hugs for you Eiram. 37 37points reply Load More Replies... Immortal Emperor Paradox Immortal Emperor Paradox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago You're a brave person. 6 6points reply Quinn Enestvedt Quinn Enestvedt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs 1 1point reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago American here. It was no secret that I was the "oops baby". I was asked how I was planning on supporting myself since the age of 16. I was in advanced prep classes in high school and taking additional classes at the local college. I dropped some classes and got a waitress job. Saved up as much money as I could. The day after my high school graduation I packed my car and drove 5 states away. I didn't say a word to my parents. I called a week later and dear old mom yelled at me to get home and clean her house. As she was yelling at me, I said, "goodbye, mother", and hung up. The next week I called again (to say I got a job and an apartment). Mom changed her tune. She said she missed her "little helper" and wanted me home. She didn't want her daughter, she wanted her maid. I never looked back. That is an extremely common story for Gen Xers. The Boomers have a subset called The Me Generation, they put their kids last. 48 48points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Linda, I know many "Boomers" and they have always been kind and loving to their children. I'm Gen X and have always been welcome and could stay at home as long as needed. I have unfortunately, heard many stories from the USA that at 18 yo you are meant to bugger off which is cruel imo. I have heard that that idiot Dr Phil has been saying this for years that children should leave house at 18. I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope that you are happy now. 26 26points reply Load More Replies... Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Chucking your kids out in their teens has gotten less and less common in the US, as the 20th century progressed. Towards the turn of the century, when having 10+ kids was common, teens from working famlies got a job and moved out so their parents wouldn't have the extra mouth to feed. But as child labor was outlawed and advanced education became more important, kids normally lived at home or got parental support until their education was finished (18-22), and as the century turned to the big 21 the cost of living rose so much that there was no place for young people with entry-level jobs to go. When I got the boot circa 1980 it was unheard-of for a middle class kid to be thrown out at 18, around 2000 when a co-worker told me that she wanted her kids out at 18 I was shocked, nobody did that in 2000! And then the cost of housing skyrocketed, and kicking your kid out became unthinkable, because they'd have to share "a squallor" with 5 other people or be homeless. 13 13points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hi Otter, I'm wondering what your parents did for a living to be middle class. You said kicking kids out at 18 was unheard of for the middle class. My mother was a hair dresser, my father was a factory worker. Is that middle class or lower class? I'm honestly not sure. It was my experience that all kids left at 18. The lucky ones went to college. 5 5points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Linda Lee, the definition of "middle class" means "not a blue-collar worker". So my family was lower class by that standard ----- mom a nurse, dad in construction after Navy. Same with me. Most didn't have the dream of college. It was get-a-job-survive. Those of us who went to college/uni were given till graduation from *that*. In theory. In practice, it varied. 2 2points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) My mother was a teacher who had some certifications that earned her more money than her peers, my father was an executive. They made very good money, so they didn't kick their kids out because they were too poor to feed or house them, they did it because they were assholes. As for your family, if your parents were a hairdresser and a factory worker they would probably be considered working class, and can I ask *when* you left home at 18? Before or after the price of housing went through the roof? Working-class families have always had children leave home a bit earlier, as the kids typically got less education, or joined the military. That's what happened with my co-worker circa 2000 who startled me by wanted her kids to leave at 18, they'd spent their high school years planning to join the military so it's not like they were going out on the street. They all lived in a dead-end town where anyone who wanted to better themselves joined up. 1 1point reply Immortal Emperor Paradox Immortal Emperor Paradox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago What does a person know at 18? They don't have enough money to call their own, and they don't have enough qualification. In fact, that's the worst time to be distracted from your academic career since you aren't far off from a good degree. Also, being 18 doesn't exactly mean you immediately become mature and responsible. One may become an 'adult', but they still remain 'dependent'. 10 10points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hi Caro, I know some very kind Boomers, too. Please let me clarify. I referred to a subset of Boomers called, "The Me Generation". Their children, known as Latch key kids, were left alone so much that laws had to be made to protect the children from neglect. I was a Latch key kid. My parents were already at work when I was getting myself off to school by 3rd grade. I wore my house key on a shoestring around my neck, hence "The Latch Key kids". I came home to an empty house. Sometimes one or both of my parents would come home within a couple hours. Sometimes my parent(s) might call to say they would be late and to get myself to bed. They were The Me Generation and wouldn't be held back by their children. There were consecutive days where I didn't see my parents. I'd leave the field trip permission slip on the table and hope it would be signed. Hope they'd leave me lunch money. Hope I'd see them that week. Communicating via notes. Then kicked out at 18. 9 9points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Jeees Linda, what a horrible thing for a child. I'm truly sorry. I'm sending you a HUG (the ones in capital are bear hugs). 6 6points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) I was a latchkey kid, too, and if I didn't have chores done and dinner in progress by the time the parent got home from work I was in for it! And then out on my ass at 18. So many kids today have NO idea what a "toxic family" is. 5 5points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Hey Otter. My mom left when I was 12. She said she was "done raising kids". Dad told me I was now, "the woman of the house". I was now the maid, laundress, and cook. My mom came back 4 years later 'to celebrate my 16th birthday' and she was my 'surprise present'! I skipped the family party. I did go back home a few days later. As I walked in the door she told me the laundry needed to be done. Can ya feel the love? /s 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Otter. That sounds more like being the parent's carer and maid instead of being a kid. X 3 3points reply The Starsong Princess The Starsong Princess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My parents were the same generation. And yes, we looked after ourselves after school. It was great - we played outside. Our parents had us living at home (except when we were in university dorms) until we were in our mid twenties and it was the same for our friends. Don’t blame the generation, blame your parents. 4 4points reply Dama A Dama A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago No, blame the generation. There are multiple studies of latch-key kids "raised" by boomers. Boomers worsened capitalism & ruined our chance to fix climate change. They are the "me generation " My mother is still like that. Once her kids were "old enough" she moved out of the country to live her "dream life." My mother has only seen my daughter once for her 1st bday. My kid is now 12. Our daughter isn't going to move out until she's good & ready. Most of my friends have the same boomer neglectful parents varying degrees of selfishness of course. Gen Xers like myself are trying to break those cycles of bad parenting. 3 3points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It doesn't sound like your parents were part of "The Me Generation". 0 0points reply miss miss miss miss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Dr Phil seems like a bald headed beady eyed b______. 5 5points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Caro, just FYI, (and I'm from the US), I only know of one family that expected this of their kids. Everyone else I know, their kids generally stay at home, unless they're going to school away. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Louloubelle. Thank goodness for that! 1 1point reply Eb Eb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Caro Caro, you're right about the majority of boomers, of course, but I'm one of the gen X subset Linda mentions. I from the UK and spent much of my youth and early adulthood looking for substitute parents and then partners who would need me as I wasn't good enough for my parents. It's a long time ago but I haven't been able to allow my parents back into my life. Not saying it's ideal, but you cope however you can. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Aaw Eb, that's horrible. You do know that you are good enough I hope. Hugs for you Eb. 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My parents were pre-Boomers, and were "at 18, you're out," not from cruelty but b/c that was just how it was ----- you were a legal adult, time to move into adulthood, and adults don't live with their parents. No Dr. Phil required. The exceptions: If you entered military and needed a place to be on leave, until 21; if you were going to university. My older sister lived at home till she was 25. I was out at 17. Families. We cannot grasp the dynamics even when we live them, sometimes. *sigh* 1 1point reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Leo. But at 18 you might be a legal adult but in no way are you a functioning adult with enough life experience and tools. I understand that for some it's simple economics but it's still sad. X 4 4points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Caro Caro, It depends on the culture/subculture/circumstances, I suspect, and what is meant by "tools". It's a fascinating debate, too, to have on "functioning". 2 2points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Yes, it is and can't be done here, but the rosé is chilled so ... 0 0points reply Jo Firth Jo Firth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh please, don't blame a whole generation for your f-ed up mother!! -5 -5points reply Xenon Xenon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago Wow, called to scream at you to clean her house??? WTF? I'm really hoping you're are doing extremely well, Linda. Virtual hugs to you. 4 4points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Linda. I'm a "boomer", although I hate the term. I have a 30 year old stepdaughter that still lives with my husband and I, and a 22 year old daughter, as well. Until my stepdaughter was 27, she paid rent (a token amount, honestly). But my husband and I encouraged her to go to college, which she now is. My other daughter is also going to school. And my son, although he is now in a different city for college, was with us until he was 21. As long as my kids are working or going to school, they can stay. And most of my friends treat their kids the same way. I NEVER put my kids last. They are the first thing I think of when I wake, and the last thing before I sleep. My parents were the same with me. And they were depression era kids. 2 2points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It doesn't sound like your a part of "The Me Generation" that I referred to. Glad to hear it. 1 1point reply Natalie Kudryashova Natalie Kudryashova Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I’m really sorry to see this. Don’t understand how someone being an “oops baby” is ever supposed to be justification for treating them less than a planned baby. However the baby comes into the world, if you chose to keep and raise the baby, you need to do that responsibility fully. It doesn’t work like, we’ll I wasn’t intending to do this initially so I can only do this halfway now and it’s good enough anyway. 2 2points reply Linda Kubiak Linda Kubiak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm a Linda Lee and a Gen X too! I recently moved 2 hours from my mom and she told me for a year she wished I didn't move. I asked her if she missed me or if she needed me to do things for her and she said she needed me to do things for her. I have 3 adult kids that moved with me and my husband and they have told me many times they would not want to live far from us and they are happy we are close! Don't just move on with your life, break the cycle! 1 1point reply Joyce Blodgett Joyce Blodgett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm a "boomer," and I told my son that he could live with me for as long as he wanted to do so. Unfortunately, he chose to go live with his father---my ex-husband---because ex was a hunter and fisherman. Long story shortened, our son was killed 14 years ago in an accident, and I have often wondered, if he'd chosen to stay with me, would he still be alive? He'd have turned 46 on Feb. 1, probably would be a husband and father himself, but I'll never know. He was never last, he was my only surviving child--his baby sister died at birth, and I was unable to have more after her---but was always and ever FIRST in everything I made decisions about. Don't blame any one generation for anything; every generation of man has made huge mistakes, and there isn't one single person who has lived, other than Jesus Christ, who has ever been blameless in their life. 0 0points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Don't blame this on boomers. I am a boomer and I don't know anyone my in my age group who has treated their children like this. However, I do know a lot of people my age who were treated like that by THEIR parents, the people born in the 1920s and 30s. 0 0points reply malenchki malenchki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago She was referring to a certain type of boomer 3 3points reply Suzi Q Suzi Q Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago For 8 years, I lived in a neighborhood which was predominantly Indian families. I got to know many of them well. The thing that really stuck with me was that several generations of family lived in one house. Family was priority over everything. No wonder your parents are being shamed. But first of all they let you know you weren't wanted but "had" to keep you. They were cold then made you move out right out of school. Now THEIR actions have led to being shamed, they have to face their consequences. If you move back in, it wouldn't be long until they'd kick you out again. Then maybe you wouldn't have the option you have now. I'm so glad you're happy. Their problem is their problem. 44 44points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago That's what's so odd about this story. It's assholish by any standards, but by the standards of Indian culture... from what I know this is just unthinkable! Especially treating a son, an only son badly, usually an only son is treated like royalty. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Rijkærd Rijkærd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago They wanted to be a childfree couple but even then 18 yrs is a long time to resent ones own offspring...in 18 yrs even enemies will have become friends...damn these people..OP would have been better off adopted I think 12 12points reply Rissie Rissie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Something happened and left a scar. The "family oriented" culture, that is clearly very suffocating, might be the reason. We don't know these people, but harsh judgement has probably been a great part of their lives. Resulting in this crazy situation. People are crazy, but not wanting the best for your offspring means they are beyond that and completely broken. 8 8points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) You know something? If that was the case, I don't cut them much slack. If you're too messed up to raise a child, then have an abortion or let the kid be adopted by someone who can be a loving parent, or get therapy and damn well fix yourself, because once you become a parent, it's no longer about just you and your feelings and what you yourself want. And I say that as someone who got chucked out at 18 by parents who hadn't dealt with the fallout from their own childhoods, and FYI doing the bare minimum of parenting and throwing your kid out when it's legally possible just isn't good enough. It's not okay, no matter what your motivations are. 15 15points reply Load More Comments POST Eiram Eiram Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My dad came to me and asked when I was going to move out at 18 insinuating he was tired of my finanial burden (not the first time). Long story short, I had been having trouble with combined highschool and college classes, with severe clinical depression boardering on suicidal, and had not left the house in three months. Middle child of 7 and neither parent cared what happened with me. Eldest brother helped me find jobs that paid enough for a squallor, and I moved. My divorced mother had a fit, constantly calling to shame me since "no woman should move on her own, only into her husbands house". I didnt even date at the time, and she was normally absent in my life. I didn't realize the suffocating damage they were doing to me until I was gone. I have rarely stayed in contact since, and with years I learned how horrible they really were. 84 84points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Eiram, I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel relieved to live somewhere else and I hope you are happy now. Hugs for you Eiram. 37 37points reply Load More Replies... Immortal Emperor Paradox Immortal Emperor Paradox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago You're a brave person. 6 6points reply Quinn Enestvedt Quinn Enestvedt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs 1 1point reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago American here. It was no secret that I was the "oops baby". I was asked how I was planning on supporting myself since the age of 16. I was in advanced prep classes in high school and taking additional classes at the local college. I dropped some classes and got a waitress job. Saved up as much money as I could. The day after my high school graduation I packed my car and drove 5 states away. I didn't say a word to my parents. I called a week later and dear old mom yelled at me to get home and clean her house. As she was yelling at me, I said, "goodbye, mother", and hung up. The next week I called again (to say I got a job and an apartment). Mom changed her tune. She said she missed her "little helper" and wanted me home. She didn't want her daughter, she wanted her maid. I never looked back. That is an extremely common story for Gen Xers. The Boomers have a subset called The Me Generation, they put their kids last. 48 48points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Linda, I know many "Boomers" and they have always been kind and loving to their children. I'm Gen X and have always been welcome and could stay at home as long as needed. I have unfortunately, heard many stories from the USA that at 18 yo you are meant to bugger off which is cruel imo. I have heard that that idiot Dr Phil has been saying this for years that children should leave house at 18. I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope that you are happy now. 26 26points reply Load More Replies... Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Chucking your kids out in their teens has gotten less and less common in the US, as the 20th century progressed. Towards the turn of the century, when having 10+ kids was common, teens from working famlies got a job and moved out so their parents wouldn't have the extra mouth to feed. But as child labor was outlawed and advanced education became more important, kids normally lived at home or got parental support until their education was finished (18-22), and as the century turned to the big 21 the cost of living rose so much that there was no place for young people with entry-level jobs to go. When I got the boot circa 1980 it was unheard-of for a middle class kid to be thrown out at 18, around 2000 when a co-worker told me that she wanted her kids out at 18 I was shocked, nobody did that in 2000! And then the cost of housing skyrocketed, and kicking your kid out became unthinkable, because they'd have to share "a squallor" with 5 other people or be homeless. 13 13points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hi Otter, I'm wondering what your parents did for a living to be middle class. You said kicking kids out at 18 was unheard of for the middle class. My mother was a hair dresser, my father was a factory worker. Is that middle class or lower class? I'm honestly not sure. It was my experience that all kids left at 18. The lucky ones went to college. 5 5points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Linda Lee, the definition of "middle class" means "not a blue-collar worker". So my family was lower class by that standard ----- mom a nurse, dad in construction after Navy. Same with me. Most didn't have the dream of college. It was get-a-job-survive. Those of us who went to college/uni were given till graduation from *that*. In theory. In practice, it varied. 2 2points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) My mother was a teacher who had some certifications that earned her more money than her peers, my father was an executive. They made very good money, so they didn't kick their kids out because they were too poor to feed or house them, they did it because they were assholes. As for your family, if your parents were a hairdresser and a factory worker they would probably be considered working class, and can I ask *when* you left home at 18? Before or after the price of housing went through the roof? Working-class families have always had children leave home a bit earlier, as the kids typically got less education, or joined the military. That's what happened with my co-worker circa 2000 who startled me by wanted her kids to leave at 18, they'd spent their high school years planning to join the military so it's not like they were going out on the street. They all lived in a dead-end town where anyone who wanted to better themselves joined up. 1 1point reply Immortal Emperor Paradox Immortal Emperor Paradox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago What does a person know at 18? They don't have enough money to call their own, and they don't have enough qualification. In fact, that's the worst time to be distracted from your academic career since you aren't far off from a good degree. Also, being 18 doesn't exactly mean you immediately become mature and responsible. One may become an 'adult', but they still remain 'dependent'. 10 10points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hi Caro, I know some very kind Boomers, too. Please let me clarify. I referred to a subset of Boomers called, "The Me Generation". Their children, known as Latch key kids, were left alone so much that laws had to be made to protect the children from neglect. I was a Latch key kid. My parents were already at work when I was getting myself off to school by 3rd grade. I wore my house key on a shoestring around my neck, hence "The Latch Key kids". I came home to an empty house. Sometimes one or both of my parents would come home within a couple hours. Sometimes my parent(s) might call to say they would be late and to get myself to bed. They were The Me Generation and wouldn't be held back by their children. There were consecutive days where I didn't see my parents. I'd leave the field trip permission slip on the table and hope it would be signed. Hope they'd leave me lunch money. Hope I'd see them that week. Communicating via notes. Then kicked out at 18. 9 9points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Jeees Linda, what a horrible thing for a child. I'm truly sorry. I'm sending you a HUG (the ones in capital are bear hugs). 6 6points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) I was a latchkey kid, too, and if I didn't have chores done and dinner in progress by the time the parent got home from work I was in for it! And then out on my ass at 18. So many kids today have NO idea what a "toxic family" is. 5 5points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Hey Otter. My mom left when I was 12. She said she was "done raising kids". Dad told me I was now, "the woman of the house". I was now the maid, laundress, and cook. My mom came back 4 years later 'to celebrate my 16th birthday' and she was my 'surprise present'! I skipped the family party. I did go back home a few days later. As I walked in the door she told me the laundry needed to be done. Can ya feel the love? /s 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Otter. That sounds more like being the parent's carer and maid instead of being a kid. X 3 3points reply The Starsong Princess The Starsong Princess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My parents were the same generation. And yes, we looked after ourselves after school. It was great - we played outside. Our parents had us living at home (except when we were in university dorms) until we were in our mid twenties and it was the same for our friends. Don’t blame the generation, blame your parents. 4 4points reply Dama A Dama A Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago No, blame the generation. There are multiple studies of latch-key kids "raised" by boomers. Boomers worsened capitalism & ruined our chance to fix climate change. They are the "me generation " My mother is still like that. Once her kids were "old enough" she moved out of the country to live her "dream life." My mother has only seen my daughter once for her 1st bday. My kid is now 12. Our daughter isn't going to move out until she's good & ready. Most of my friends have the same boomer neglectful parents varying degrees of selfishness of course. Gen Xers like myself are trying to break those cycles of bad parenting. 3 3points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It doesn't sound like your parents were part of "The Me Generation". 0 0points reply miss miss miss miss Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Dr Phil seems like a bald headed beady eyed b______. 5 5points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Caro, just FYI, (and I'm from the US), I only know of one family that expected this of their kids. Everyone else I know, their kids generally stay at home, unless they're going to school away. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Louloubelle. Thank goodness for that! 1 1point reply Eb Eb Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Caro Caro, you're right about the majority of boomers, of course, but I'm one of the gen X subset Linda mentions. I from the UK and spent much of my youth and early adulthood looking for substitute parents and then partners who would need me as I wasn't good enough for my parents. It's a long time ago but I haven't been able to allow my parents back into my life. Not saying it's ideal, but you cope however you can. 3 3points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Aaw Eb, that's horrible. You do know that you are good enough I hope. Hugs for you Eb. 0 0points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My parents were pre-Boomers, and were "at 18, you're out," not from cruelty but b/c that was just how it was ----- you were a legal adult, time to move into adulthood, and adults don't live with their parents. No Dr. Phil required. The exceptions: If you entered military and needed a place to be on leave, until 21; if you were going to university. My older sister lived at home till she was 25. I was out at 17. Families. We cannot grasp the dynamics even when we live them, sometimes. *sigh* 1 1point reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Leo. But at 18 you might be a legal adult but in no way are you a functioning adult with enough life experience and tools. I understand that for some it's simple economics but it's still sad. X 4 4points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @Caro Caro, It depends on the culture/subculture/circumstances, I suspect, and what is meant by "tools". It's a fascinating debate, too, to have on "functioning". 2 2points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Yes, it is and can't be done here, but the rosé is chilled so ... 0 0points reply Jo Firth Jo Firth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh please, don't blame a whole generation for your f-ed up mother!! -5 -5points reply Xenon Xenon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago Wow, called to scream at you to clean her house??? WTF? I'm really hoping you're are doing extremely well, Linda. Virtual hugs to you. 4 4points reply Louloubelle Louloubelle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Linda. I'm a "boomer", although I hate the term. I have a 30 year old stepdaughter that still lives with my husband and I, and a 22 year old daughter, as well. Until my stepdaughter was 27, she paid rent (a token amount, honestly). But my husband and I encouraged her to go to college, which she now is. My other daughter is also going to school. And my son, although he is now in a different city for college, was with us until he was 21. As long as my kids are working or going to school, they can stay. And most of my friends treat their kids the same way. I NEVER put my kids last. They are the first thing I think of when I wake, and the last thing before I sleep. My parents were the same with me. And they were depression era kids. 2 2points reply Linda Lee Linda Lee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It doesn't sound like your a part of "The Me Generation" that I referred to. Glad to hear it. 1 1point reply Natalie Kudryashova Natalie Kudryashova Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I’m really sorry to see this. Don’t understand how someone being an “oops baby” is ever supposed to be justification for treating them less than a planned baby. However the baby comes into the world, if you chose to keep and raise the baby, you need to do that responsibility fully. It doesn’t work like, we’ll I wasn’t intending to do this initially so I can only do this halfway now and it’s good enough anyway. 2 2points reply Linda Kubiak Linda Kubiak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm a Linda Lee and a Gen X too! I recently moved 2 hours from my mom and she told me for a year she wished I didn't move. I asked her if she missed me or if she needed me to do things for her and she said she needed me to do things for her. I have 3 adult kids that moved with me and my husband and they have told me many times they would not want to live far from us and they are happy we are close! Don't just move on with your life, break the cycle! 1 1point reply Joyce Blodgett Joyce Blodgett Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm a "boomer," and I told my son that he could live with me for as long as he wanted to do so. Unfortunately, he chose to go live with his father---my ex-husband---because ex was a hunter and fisherman. Long story shortened, our son was killed 14 years ago in an accident, and I have often wondered, if he'd chosen to stay with me, would he still be alive? He'd have turned 46 on Feb. 1, probably would be a husband and father himself, but I'll never know. He was never last, he was my only surviving child--his baby sister died at birth, and I was unable to have more after her---but was always and ever FIRST in everything I made decisions about. Don't blame any one generation for anything; every generation of man has made huge mistakes, and there isn't one single person who has lived, other than Jesus Christ, who has ever been blameless in their life. 0 0points reply Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Don't blame this on boomers. I am a boomer and I don't know anyone my in my age group who has treated their children like this. However, I do know a lot of people my age who were treated like that by THEIR parents, the people born in the 1920s and 30s. 0 0points reply malenchki malenchki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago She was referring to a certain type of boomer 3 3points reply Suzi Q Suzi Q Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago For 8 years, I lived in a neighborhood which was predominantly Indian families. I got to know many of them well. The thing that really stuck with me was that several generations of family lived in one house. Family was priority over everything. No wonder your parents are being shamed. But first of all they let you know you weren't wanted but "had" to keep you. They were cold then made you move out right out of school. Now THEIR actions have led to being shamed, they have to face their consequences. If you move back in, it wouldn't be long until they'd kick you out again. Then maybe you wouldn't have the option you have now. I'm so glad you're happy. Their problem is their problem. 44 44points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago That's what's so odd about this story. It's assholish by any standards, but by the standards of Indian culture... from what I know this is just unthinkable! Especially treating a son, an only son badly, usually an only son is treated like royalty. 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Rijkærd Rijkærd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago They wanted to be a childfree couple but even then 18 yrs is a long time to resent ones own offspring...in 18 yrs even enemies will have become friends...damn these people..OP would have been better off adopted I think 12 12points reply Rissie Rissie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Something happened and left a scar. The "family oriented" culture, that is clearly very suffocating, might be the reason. We don't know these people, but harsh judgement has probably been a great part of their lives. Resulting in this crazy situation. People are crazy, but not wanting the best for your offspring means they are beyond that and completely broken. 8 8points reply Otter Otter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) You know something? If that was the case, I don't cut them much slack. If you're too messed up to raise a child, then have an abortion or let the kid be adopted by someone who can be a loving parent, or get therapy and damn well fix yourself, because once you become a parent, it's no longer about just you and your feelings and what you yourself want. And I say that as someone who got chucked out at 18 by parents who hadn't dealt with the fallout from their own childhoods, and FYI doing the bare minimum of parenting and throwing your kid out when it's legally possible just isn't good enough. It's not okay, no matter what your motivations are. 15 15points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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