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Counselor Reveals Why Encouraging Your Offspring To Stop Crying Is Emotionally Damaging

Darja Zinina and
Saulė Tolstych
Parenting is a lifelong commitment. By bringing a child into this world, you automatically make them your full-time responsibility, and you're obliged to give them a healthy and loving environment. It's not a secret that folks from older generations have a completely different view on the way one's upbringing should be done – however, nowadays, people are very open about their emotional traumas, making parents reconsider the raising methods they use on their offspring. Gentle parenting was introduced a while ago and is based on four main factors – empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries. It's a way to ensure that your children are not lacking in emotional connections and are growing up in wholesome environments. Many are mistaken and think that just because the technique has the word "gentle" in it, discipline doesn't exist, though it very much does – however, it's focused on teaching various valuable life lessons rather than focusing on punishments. This TikToker and parenting coach shared a video helping parents to accurately handle their children's emotional outbursts. The technique covers aspects of gentle parenting and ensures that your child feels loved, valued and protected. More info: TikTok

Parenting is hard but this woman has a great number of helpful tips

Image credits: Jax Anderson , LPC There are no ultimate instructions for raising your kid correctly, though – it's important to always validate your offspring's feelings, regardless of their age. Humans long for connections and it's extremely easy to harm their emotional health, leaving the child scarred for life.

A TikTok video with over 814K views reveals how a parent should help their offspring in moments of emotional distress

Image credits: psyko_therapy Emotional tantrums are equally stressful for parents and their kids. Just imagine how your child feels going through all these crazy changes in a very small amount of time. Of course they're going to struggle with their feelings, and by validating your child's emotions, you're making them feel important and safe. If your child doesn't feel heard, they'll do whatever it takes for you to notice. Image credits: psyko_therapy The woman begins with an example of how some parents would handle their children's emotional outbursts, or in this case – just crying. When you don't know why your little one (or not so little one) is struggling mentally, telling them that they're fine and that there's nothing to cry about is, in fact, a very unhelpful response. Image credits: psyko_therapy That kind of response conveys to your child that they're not taken seriously and that there is something wrong with them. Children begin to think that their emotions are not reasonable, which later could terribly impact their mental well-being. It could be hard for parents to understand their child's outbursts, but it helps to remember that by validating their feelings, you're not saying that you allow/agree with this behavior, you're only showing that you're actually listening and trying to understand their thoughts. Image credits: psyko_therapy So, in reality, what you should really do is reassure them that it's absolutely normal to feel frustrated and that crying and letting your feelings out is okay, as you will be there to talk everything out as soon as they're ready. Again, it's crucial not to show any kind of judgement and just acknowledge their feelings. It's not easy and sometimes takes a lot of practice – however, it's all worth it in the end. Image credits: psyko_therapy After all, being understood is an essential part of a healthy lifestyle, whether you're a toddler or not. When someone close to us accepts and feels our struggles, it supports and improves our self-compassion, as well as teaches little ones to be empathetic with others. Scolding someone for their feelings and emotions is a horrible thing to do, so why not focus on bringing your child up in a kind and considerate environment?

You can watch the video here

@psyko_therapy Crying is okay #parent #kids #fyp #momsoftiktok #mom #parentsoftiktok #foryoupage #xyzbca #tiktoktherapy #mentalhealth #pov #crying ♬ original sound – TiKToKmom

Fellow followers appreciated the advice and even shared their own stories

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Darja Zinina Darja Zinina Writer, BoredPanda staff Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. She studied at the University of Westminster, where she got her Bachelor's degree in Contemporary Media Practice. She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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That day I had an entrance exam, and I was completely numb. I did not feel like crying, or feel sad, or anything. Fast forward to evening after the exam, I'm sitting on bed, and suddenly all those tears start flooding out of my eyes. My mom comes near me, hugs me, pats my back and says, "Let it all out, honey. Let it all out." The grief was so bad back then that I had no idea how her soothing words helped me calm down. Today as I read this article, all the memories came flooding back, and now I'm an emotional wreck again. 12 12points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Dun I feel your pain. My mom passed away in April last year and the periods of grief come and go. I'll smell something that reminds me of her and I start to cry. It's very difficult. I wish you moments of peace as well. Hugs to you. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I don't know if it sounds immature, but I've always felt that moms and grandmas should be immortal. I'm so sorry you had to go through such loss and grief. Virtual hugs to you too. 4 4points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I agree! The world would be a much safer kinder warmer gentler lovely and wonderful place. :) 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It absolutely would! ? 3 3points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 2 2points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Your mom did right. And take a virtual mom-like hug if you want. It's been well over 10 years since I lost my grandma and I will just sit down and be in tears.... the waves come in, the waves roll out.... 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Thank you, mam. Virtual hugs to you too. 2 2points reply Chris Scritchfield Chris Scritchfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Same. My grandma raised me when my mother ditched me because she didn't feel safe in her house. So my grandmother raised me while my dad payed for things. Unfortunately I was raised in an environment that suffered greatly from toxic masculinity. Not going into things beyond this phrase "are you crying I will give you a reason to cry". So basically I had all my tears physically punished out of my body. So when my grandma died no tears. When aunt died no tears. My other aunt no tears. When my stepmother(came in later in life just as toxic but no with a religious element) her mother died and later when her father died no tears. It left me in a weird state I know longer feel emotion other that when I go through my bipolar depression cycles. Most of the time I am meh. I have learned to fake emotions to keep others happy but no longer have them for myself. My wife is supportive and my biggest goal is to have my kids to grow in a happy environment. 4 4points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. So glad your wife is loving and good for you breaking the cycle. 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It's really heartbreaking you had to go all through those things at such a young age. I have heard that same phrase at many of my friends' houses, and I've always come home in tears thinking what would be happening after I left their home. Virtual hugs to you, Chris. 3 3points reply ZentheOgre ZentheOgre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Thanks. Hope you feel better soon from the memory overflow. 2 2points reply A Jones A Jones Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago At a young young age I learned how to cry without making a sound so my family couldn't hear. I did this for too long it just stuck. It's not a good thing. I just stopped coming to my folks whenever I was hurt emotionally/physically due to the toxic nonsense. 9 9points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago If I could hug you, I would. But with what we have, virtual hugs to you. I'm really sorry you had to go through all those as a child. I hope you're okay now. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... E B E B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This sounds much better than "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about." 8 8points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Oh, I *loathe* that being said. 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Samantha Samantha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Usually said when they're directly responsible for your tears in the first place. 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My grandma passed away last year this month. That day I had an entrance exam, and I was completely numb. I did not feel like crying, or feel sad, or anything. Fast forward to evening after the exam, I'm sitting on bed, and suddenly all those tears start flooding out of my eyes. My mom comes near me, hugs me, pats my back and says, "Let it all out, honey. Let it all out." The grief was so bad back then that I had no idea how her soothing words helped me calm down. Today as I read this article, all the memories came flooding back, and now I'm an emotional wreck again. 12 12points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Dun I feel your pain. My mom passed away in April last year and the periods of grief come and go. I'll smell something that reminds me of her and I start to cry. It's very difficult. I wish you moments of peace as well. Hugs to you. 8 8points reply Load More Replies... DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I don't know if it sounds immature, but I've always felt that moms and grandmas should be immortal. I'm so sorry you had to go through such loss and grief. Virtual hugs to you too. 4 4points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I agree! The world would be a much safer kinder warmer gentler lovely and wonderful place. :) 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It absolutely would! ? 3 3points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 2 2points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Your mom did right. And take a virtual mom-like hug if you want. It's been well over 10 years since I lost my grandma and I will just sit down and be in tears.... the waves come in, the waves roll out.... 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Thank you, mam. Virtual hugs to you too. 2 2points reply Chris Scritchfield Chris Scritchfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Same. My grandma raised me when my mother ditched me because she didn't feel safe in her house. So my grandmother raised me while my dad payed for things. Unfortunately I was raised in an environment that suffered greatly from toxic masculinity. Not going into things beyond this phrase "are you crying I will give you a reason to cry". So basically I had all my tears physically punished out of my body. So when my grandma died no tears. When aunt died no tears. My other aunt no tears. When my stepmother(came in later in life just as toxic but no with a religious element) her mother died and later when her father died no tears. It left me in a weird state I know longer feel emotion other that when I go through my bipolar depression cycles. Most of the time I am meh. I have learned to fake emotions to keep others happy but no longer have them for myself. My wife is supportive and my biggest goal is to have my kids to grow in a happy environment. 4 4points reply K Witmer K Witmer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. So glad your wife is loving and good for you breaking the cycle. 4 4points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It's really heartbreaking you had to go all through those things at such a young age. I have heard that same phrase at many of my friends' houses, and I've always come home in tears thinking what would be happening after I left their home. Virtual hugs to you, Chris. 3 3points reply ZentheOgre ZentheOgre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Thanks. Hope you feel better soon from the memory overflow. 2 2points reply A Jones A Jones Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago At a young young age I learned how to cry without making a sound so my family couldn't hear. I did this for too long it just stuck. It's not a good thing. I just stopped coming to my folks whenever I was hurt emotionally/physically due to the toxic nonsense. 9 9points reply DUN DUN (she/her) DUN DUN (she/her) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago If I could hug you, I would. But with what we have, virtual hugs to you. I'm really sorry you had to go through all those as a child. I hope you're okay now. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... E B E B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This sounds much better than "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about." 8 8points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Oh, I *loathe* that being said. 7 7points reply Load More Replies... Samantha Samantha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Usually said when they're directly responsible for your tears in the first place. 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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