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Teen Babysits Her 3 Cousins Full-Time Almost Every Day All Hell Breaks Loose When She Asks To Get Paid

Ignas Vieversys and
Gabija Palšytė
There are accusatory murmurs flying around the world blaming the last couple of generations for having fewer kids than ever. The truth is, it's a luxury that simply cannot be afforded by many. Take childcare, for example: having a professional nanny look after your munchkin starts from $650 per week. And that's only for one, perfectly healthy child. No wonder, then, why almost 4 in 5 parents choose to employ their relatives: they get to cut their spending, save their careers, and have a family member to look after the little ones. And everything would be fine if not for the fact that most of them see it as a favor rather than an honest-to-goodness job. When this 18-year-old babysitter decided it was finally time to speak up and discuss reimbursement with her aunt and uncle, things didn't go the way she expected. After being called "entitled" and selfish for charging family for looking after her little cousins, she decided to seek perspective from the 'Am I The [Jerk]' community.

Being a babysitter is emotionally and physically taxing work - even when it s your little cousins you have to look after

Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)

So when this 18 Y O decided to speak up and ask about being paid for her help she didn t expect this would cause a family feud

Image credits: Maleficent-Goat-197 Scrolling through the most recent babysitting statistics, you'll find two conflicting facts that explain each other perfectly: almost 70% of parents complain that quality babysitters are hard to find. However, learning that half of them are unpaid, we wonder why that is… In order to learn more about the challenges that nannies and babysitters alike face in their noble profession, Bored Panda reached out to Michelle LaRowe Conover who's the lead editor of Nanny Magazine and award-winning nanny herself with 25 years worth of experience under her belt. Discussing the financial side of babysitting, Conover suggests always having the talk first before accepting the job. "Before leaving anyone with your children, it's essential to establish qualifications, boundaries and expectations. And that includes having conversations surrounding pay," Conover explained. She thinks that part of the main problem of nannies and babysitters being massively underpaid - or not paid at all - lies in having no boundaries set beforehand. What many of them fail to recognize is that more often than not, an employer will not give you a huge jump in compensation all at once to catch you up to where you should be. Plus, you don't want to cause unnecessary drama or put the relationship with your clients-parents in jeopardy. That's why Conover underlines the importance of speaking up before the ship sails - doesn't mind if you're a qualified nanny or placeholder babysitter. "While caring for your niece or nephew once in a while is part of the role, providing ongoing care is a totally different story," she told us. Conover suggests scouring through local social media pages to learn about the ongoing rates of babysitting in your area. "You'll want to consider the duties, responsibilities, and caregiver qualifications when setting your babysitting rate."

People agreed that the author is not the one who is being unreasonable in this messy situation

Similar to Conover, Dr. Susan Scheftel, a psychologist at the Columbia University Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research, argues that most parents tend to depersonalize nanny's role as a member of the family and that's what inspired her to pursue her award-winning 'Why Aren't We Curious about Nannies?' paper. "There's something about nannies occupying a blank space in parents' mind where they don't want to think about it," Scheftel told Bored Panda. "Don't want to think about the fact that they'd like to outsource their children's care to somebody else who might create a better bond with their child while they're out at work." Contrary to what statistics suggest, Scheftel thinks fewer and fewer parents choose to hire relatives as babysitters. While there's no need to do a background check on your niece ("you're having somebody that you can trust and know well"), relatives as babysitters can be a double-edged sword. "If there are any issues you have with your relative who's going to take care of your children, it might amplify them," Scheftel explained. In that sense, if the relative-babysitter has had a distant or unhealthy relationship with their own mother or father, "those struggles are likely going to be played out when taking care of the children." Conover also reminds us that "nannies are caregivers by nature and often find themselves neglecting their own needs in service to others." Often case they have little to no days off and work grueling hours. And when they do start to suffer from burning out being "on" all the time - they remain silent. "Having conversations with parents around burnout prior to getting there can help to ensure a supportive work environment and help parents understand how and why things like job creep, extended hours, and lack of downtime can contribute to nanny burnout." In that case, Conover suggests, it's better to move on and find a family which won't treat you like a near-invisible, tireless substitute for parents while they're away. If Mary Poppins, the world's most famous, magical super-nanny needs to set boundaries and take time off to rest, no real-life nanny - however young and altruistic - should allow being mistreated or undervalued. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ignas Vieversys Ignas Vieversys Writer, BoredPanda staff Ignas is an editor at Bored Panda with an MA in Magazine Journalism. When he is not writing about video games or hunting for interesting stories, chances are that you will find Ignas at the movies. Read more » Gabija Palšytė Gabija Palšytė Author, BoredPanda staff Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Single Mom Asks If She’s A Jerk For Refusing To Fix Babysitter’s Laptop After Her Kid Broke It Ilona Baliūnaitė Sister-In-Law Can't Meet Her Baby Nephew Because She's Too Broke To Stick To All The Rules His Parents Have Set Mindaugas Balčiauskas Woman Upset As Her Younger Brother Flatly Declares He’s Not A Nanny For Her 3 Kids, Calls Him A Jerk Monika Pašukonytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Share your thoughts POST howdylee howdylee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My niece (16) watched my 3 kids (including 3 yr old twins) for 5 days, 3 hrs a day, one summer while our work hours shifted. Her mom (my SIL) was insisting that I not pay niece. I slipped her a couple hundred bucks because, 1 - she was responsible for keeping my kids alive, 2 - she could have been home doing other odd jobs for $, 3 - she needs to learn her time is valuable and worth something, family or not. 43 43points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @howdylee: Good for you! I can't imagine what it was like for the OP. I spent a summer as the full time sitter when I was that age for my aunt and uncle. My auntie took me home on Friday nights and picked me up on Sunday nights so I could have weekends with my family. She was close to my Mom, who was her older sister, and she adored my Dad. Still, it was an hour each way, and she had a demanding job, she didn't have to do that. That's on top of the really good money they paid me, which got me started on my college fund (I went to a UC, the tuition rates were very manageable back in the late '70's.) My cousins loved it because, being such a tomboy most of my life, I'd go out and toss a baseball with them or try and shoot hoops instead of being on the phone all day with my friends, like my other cousins did when they babysat! I still have a very special relationship with all of them and cherish memories of that summer. It was a great gig. 6 6points reply Load More Replies... Angela Byrd Angela Byrd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 months ago My sisters would keep my kids on the weekends when they were teenagers. If they asked for $80 for both of them, I didn’t argue because I needed the break and I was infringing on their free time with their friends. The aunt was being unreasonable. A regular nanny would charge her more. The sing is being selfish if you ask me. 1 1point reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago So glad you did. Your SIL is teaching her daughter to devalue herself. Not good at all. She *should* earn money for her work, regardless of what it is and for who. If it was a family emergency, that's one thing. But this isn't the case. Families can value one another and still make money. 0 0points reply CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It's ironic the aunt called the poster entitled when she's the one who feels entitled to free childcare "because family" 36 36points reply Rijkærd Rijkærd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago A case of the log in ones eye....?? 10 10points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago Reword your question to "are financially stable/healthy couple in the wrong for forcing an 18 year old into unpaid labour, 12 hours a day without a break?" 31 31points reply Load More Comments POST howdylee howdylee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My niece (16) watched my 3 kids (including 3 yr old twins) for 5 days, 3 hrs a day, one summer while our work hours shifted. Her mom (my SIL) was insisting that I not pay niece. I slipped her a couple hundred bucks because, 1 - she was responsible for keeping my kids alive, 2 - she could have been home doing other odd jobs for $, 3 - she needs to learn her time is valuable and worth something, family or not. 43 43points reply Karen Lyon Karen Lyon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago @howdylee: Good for you! I can't imagine what it was like for the OP. I spent a summer as the full time sitter when I was that age for my aunt and uncle. My auntie took me home on Friday nights and picked me up on Sunday nights so I could have weekends with my family. She was close to my Mom, who was her older sister, and she adored my Dad. Still, it was an hour each way, and she had a demanding job, she didn't have to do that. That's on top of the really good money they paid me, which got me started on my college fund (I went to a UC, the tuition rates were very manageable back in the late '70's.) My cousins loved it because, being such a tomboy most of my life, I'd go out and toss a baseball with them or try and shoot hoops instead of being on the phone all day with my friends, like my other cousins did when they babysat! I still have a very special relationship with all of them and cherish memories of that summer. It was a great gig. 6 6points reply Load More Replies... Angela Byrd Angela Byrd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 months ago My sisters would keep my kids on the weekends when they were teenagers. If they asked for $80 for both of them, I didn’t argue because I needed the break and I was infringing on their free time with their friends. The aunt was being unreasonable. A regular nanny would charge her more. The sing is being selfish if you ask me. 1 1point reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 months ago So glad you did. Your SIL is teaching her daughter to devalue herself. Not good at all. She *should* earn money for her work, regardless of what it is and for who. If it was a family emergency, that's one thing. But this isn't the case. Families can value one another and still make money. 0 0points reply CatWoman312 CatWoman312 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago It's ironic the aunt called the poster entitled when she's the one who feels entitled to free childcare "because family" 36 36points reply Rijkærd Rijkærd Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago A case of the log in ones eye....?? 10 10points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago Reword your question to "are financially stable/healthy couple in the wrong for forcing an 18 year old into unpaid labour, 12 hours a day without a break?" 31 31points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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