Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant

Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant

Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 162points 2K Relationships8 months ago

Woman Asks If She Was Right To Cancel Dinner With Her Long Distance Boyfriend When She Saw Him Bring A Bell To The Restaurant

Rokas Laurinavičius and
Austėja Akavickaitė
After months of dating, you think you know a person. Or at the very least, know they won't make you want to hide from embarrassment. But as Reddit user Blain-Ad-5996 will soon tell you, that's not always the case. A few days ago, she submitted a story to the "Am I The [Jerk]?" community about one dinner date she had with her boyfriend. Everything was going fine until the man took out an actual bell to get the waiter's attention. I don't know what had gotten into his head and convinced him this was acceptable but the dude even defended himself, telling his confused girlfriend it was normal behavior in the US. In an attempt to find out if that's true, she turned to the popular subreddit to tell all about it and ask if she overreacted. Here's what the woman wrote.

One woman went to a restaurant with her boyfriend but the date ended quickly after he rang an actual bell to get the waiter s attention

Image credits: Marco Verch (not the actual photo)

The guy even accused her of making a needless scene out of it so she turned to the internet to ask if that s actually the case

Dating someone from another culture can often require partners to work more in the beginning stages of the relationship. Usually, you need to put in more effort to understand a person from another background. And not just linguistically; you really need to see the world through their eyes if you want to make it work. So the fact that Blain-Ad-5996 asked other people to share their take on what happened between her and her boyfriend is only-she's searching for answers. But a couple can embarrass each other even if they grew up on the same block. According to Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., who is an associate professor of psychology and chair of the psychology department at Albright College, this sometimes happens because we have a tendency to believe that others are paying more attention to our actions than they really are. "In one famous study, researchers asked college students to enter a room full of strangers while wearing a Barry Manilow T-shirt (pretty uncool attire for a college student). They then asked them to estimate the number of people in the room who had noticed the shirt. The students overestimated how many people had noticed the shirt, guessing on average a number twice as high as the reality," Seidman wrote in Psychology Today.

But people were dumbstruck by the whole ordeal as much as she was

She believes this spotlight effect extends to our significant others because our most important relationships tend to become incorporated into the self, as 'them' and 'me' become 'we.' "We begin to see our relationship partners as part of us. And so, for better or worse, what affects our partners affects us, too. Research shows that we can use our partners' accomplishments and positive traits as a way to boost our own self-esteem. It makes sense that since we experience our partners' gaffes as reflecting on us, we would also feel that we are in the spotlight when those embarrassing moments happen," Seidman explained. The psychologist also suggested that some people are more prone to this spotlight effect than others. Like those high in public self-consciousness, for example. Or those with low self-esteem. "They tend to distance themselves from a romantic partner they perceive as flawed in situations in which it seems the flaw would reflect negatively on them." But there's a silver lining in all of this after all. Think about it, if we overestimate how much others are paying attention to us, it's also very likely that we're also overestimating how much our partners are making us the center of ridicule. So with that in mind, Seidman invites everyone to let their embarrassing partner loose. Unless they call waiters with a bell, of course. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Austėja Akavickaitė Follow Unfollow Austėja Akavickaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. They have a diverse set of creative skills and a wide portfolio which ranges from photography to digital editing and traditional art. After graduating from Nottingham Trent University in 2018 they have worked as a freelance photographer until Bored Panda. When not editing, they enjoy biking, taking too many pictures of their dog and drawing. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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It's not ok in America either. Not ok anywhere. I hate how people like that give all Americans a bad name. 100 100points reply Ethan Lang Ethan Lang Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly! It’s always the.. you reading this? Ugh.. *ring ding ring ding* you seeing this? Ah ok, anyways it’s always the very few entitled jerks that go around doing these types of things, and only those get spread around these subreddits so it looks like a common thing Americans do. 27 27points reply Load More Replies... Kimberly Wiltshire Kimberly Wiltshire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Sadly, as a long time American expat. I have seen bucket loads of entitled American's act like fools while in Europe. It drives me crazy. Even family has embarrassed me. I completely understand why people think American's are AH. I will even go so far as to speak my second language while traveling to seperate myself from American's. Just so.much BS coming out of thier mouths, rude and obnoxious behavior. Because I cant just ignore it and will tell them to knock it off, I avoid my people. 5 5points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Entitled jerks? Grow up. -7 -7points reply Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago American here adding to the crowd of Americans saying WE DO NOT RING BELLS BECAUSE THAT IS RUDE AF 8 8points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. How is that rude "AF"? If you can't handle someone ringing a bell, you shouldn't be allowed in public. -11 -11points reply David A. David A. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Having worked in hospo in the US, his behavior is a sure fire way to get floor chicken (the one dropped earlier in the shift and set aside for a special customers). Note, not something I'd do or approve of, but have seen plenty of times. 5 5points reply Catlady6000 Catlady6000 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago As a server in America, please, feel free to ring that bell. And be sure to enjoy every bite of that food that I brought out with my own two hands. Please 2 2points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I’m picking up what you’re putting down 2 2points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh, poor baby, you have to carry some trays. -10 -10points reply Caroline Dyer Caroline Dyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hey, bro. Have you worked in a restaurant? No? Then shut the f**k up. Your opinion on how these people work is pure fantasy. 5 5points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Anti-Hyper blah blah blah is just a troll. If not a troll, just an AS*HAT. They both work. 1 1point reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Why is it not okay anywhere? It's a f*****g bell? If you can't handle someone ringing a bell, you shouldn't be allowed in public. -10 -10points reply Mad Dragon Mad Dragon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago When I was a server I had a guy snap his fingers to get my attention. The lady he was with told him the date was over and walked out. 99 99points reply Joanne Lawrence Joanne Lawrence Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Wow. Meanwhile I'm over here and I hate asking servers for things because they're always busy and I'm, frankly, not that important. Like, it has to be like they forgot to give me utensils or something before I feel like it's worth trying to get their attention. Just... wow. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Ask them for what you need, and if you need a lot, give them an extra extra big tip. 6 6points reply Eli Gaffke Eli Gaffke Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago You shouldn’t feel bad to ask servers for things, that’s literally the job of being a ‘server’. You do it respectfully of course. Otherwise bring on the robots, they won’t complain about not getting tips because they don’t don’t want to do their job. 4 4points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago (edited) You’re equally as important as any other customers. The server, is of course busy, but your needs should be met, also. 1 1point reply Marita Berndt Marita Berndt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Are you a Kiwi? 1 1point reply Joanne Lawrence Joanne Lawrence Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Canadian. I'm a stereotype, aren't I? 2 2points reply Stewart Craig Stewart Craig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 6 6points reply Tricia Georgetti Tricia Georgetti Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I knew someone who would throw a dish. Usually the bread dishes. 0 0points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She sounds like a c**t. -11 -11points reply Samuel Pelatan Samuel Pelatan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I 100% juge people on how they treat staffs. If you are respectful to people depending on their work, you are not respectful at all. 70 70points reply Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly! Same thing if you only treat women or men with respect if you find them attractive. 49 49points reply Load More Replies... Enlee Jones Enlee Jones Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly. Don’t look how how they treat people they like, look at how they treat people they don’t like. 14 14points reply Samuel Pelatan Samuel Pelatan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago omg true, the office reception is a real test for that 7 7points reply AD B AD B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I also find this to be akin to men only realizing women should be respected because they themselves have female relatives 0 0points reply Pas VotreAffaire Pas VotreAffaire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Two ways to find out a lot about someone quickly: watch how they treat "service"-type staff (not intended as derogatory in any way, I was a waitress for a long time), and how they react if you say no to them about something, big or small. 15 15points reply Kaitlyn Kormos Kaitlyn Kormos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago There is a flip side to treating them nice. My narcissistic FIL treats staff so nice it is demeaning. He does it to 'prove' he's a good guy while showing off his wealth, but what he is really saying is I'm better than you, and you poor stupid person must need my charity to survive. It is disgusting to watch! 8 8points reply Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago (edited) How do you know that's what he really means? Did he tell you that? Some men are just socially awkward and can come off as condescending and haughty. I have a law partner at my firm like that. He seems disingenuous because he has a weird vibe to him (the way he talks, and his mannerisms)--it feels like he's secretly thinking he's a lot better than everyone else. Maybe he IS sometimes--but he is actually just really socially awkward and doesn't understand how to dial down the saccharin so he doesn't weird people out. 2 2points reply Tricia Georgetti Tricia Georgetti Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My sister and I were raised you treat the janitor the same way you treat a CEO. 6 6points reply Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago SAME. 100%! Anyone can treat people who have power well, because it's self serving. How you treat people who are in the service industries reveals your TRUE nature. I also judge people's tipping habits--mainly because I know what it's like to work in service industries--how hard they work and how much they put up with for such little pay. So I tip bare minimum of 20% (for bad service) and have no problem going above 100%, sometimes even 200% or more for good service--because without a great server, even the best meal is going to be less enjoyable. I don't expect other people to be that generous, but they should definitely do better than the bare minimum--especially for great service. People who don't tip or barely tip have no business going out to eat. 5 5points reply Whowhatwherewhy? Whowhatwherewhy? Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Allison B Allison B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Yeah no. It's not ok in America either. Not ok anywhere. I hate how people like that give all Americans a bad name. 100 100points reply Ethan Lang Ethan Lang Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly! It’s always the.. you reading this? Ugh.. *ring ding ring ding* you seeing this? Ah ok, anyways it’s always the very few entitled jerks that go around doing these types of things, and only those get spread around these subreddits so it looks like a common thing Americans do. 27 27points reply Load More Replies... Kimberly Wiltshire Kimberly Wiltshire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Sadly, as a long time American expat. I have seen bucket loads of entitled American's act like fools while in Europe. It drives me crazy. Even family has embarrassed me. I completely understand why people think American's are AH. I will even go so far as to speak my second language while traveling to seperate myself from American's. Just so.much BS coming out of thier mouths, rude and obnoxious behavior. Because I cant just ignore it and will tell them to knock it off, I avoid my people. 5 5points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Entitled jerks? Grow up. -7 -7points reply Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago American here adding to the crowd of Americans saying WE DO NOT RING BELLS BECAUSE THAT IS RUDE AF 8 8points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. How is that rude "AF"? If you can't handle someone ringing a bell, you shouldn't be allowed in public. -11 -11points reply David A. David A. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago (edited) Having worked in hospo in the US, his behavior is a sure fire way to get floor chicken (the one dropped earlier in the shift and set aside for a special customers). Note, not something I'd do or approve of, but have seen plenty of times. 5 5points reply Catlady6000 Catlady6000 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago As a server in America, please, feel free to ring that bell. And be sure to enjoy every bite of that food that I brought out with my own two hands. Please 2 2points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago I’m picking up what you’re putting down 2 2points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Oh, poor baby, you have to carry some trays. -10 -10points reply Caroline Dyer Caroline Dyer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Hey, bro. Have you worked in a restaurant? No? Then shut the f**k up. Your opinion on how these people work is pure fantasy. 5 5points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago Anti-Hyper blah blah blah is just a troll. If not a troll, just an AS*HAT. They both work. 1 1point reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Why is it not okay anywhere? It's a f*****g bell? If you can't handle someone ringing a bell, you shouldn't be allowed in public. -10 -10points reply Mad Dragon Mad Dragon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago When I was a server I had a guy snap his fingers to get my attention. The lady he was with told him the date was over and walked out. 99 99points reply Joanne Lawrence Joanne Lawrence Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Wow. Meanwhile I'm over here and I hate asking servers for things because they're always busy and I'm, frankly, not that important. Like, it has to be like they forgot to give me utensils or something before I feel like it's worth trying to get their attention. Just... wow. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... Mine Truly Mine Truly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Ask them for what you need, and if you need a lot, give them an extra extra big tip. 6 6points reply Eli Gaffke Eli Gaffke Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago You shouldn’t feel bad to ask servers for things, that’s literally the job of being a ‘server’. You do it respectfully of course. Otherwise bring on the robots, they won’t complain about not getting tips because they don’t don’t want to do their job. 4 4points reply P.A.B. P.A.B. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 months ago (edited) You’re equally as important as any other customers. The server, is of course busy, but your needs should be met, also. 1 1point reply Marita Berndt Marita Berndt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Are you a Kiwi? 1 1point reply Joanne Lawrence Joanne Lawrence Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Canadian. I'm a stereotype, aren't I? 2 2points reply Stewart Craig Stewart Craig Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 6 6points reply Tricia Georgetti Tricia Georgetti Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I knew someone who would throw a dish. Usually the bread dishes. 0 0points reply Anti-HyperLink Anti-HyperLink Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She sounds like a c**t. -11 -11points reply Samuel Pelatan Samuel Pelatan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I 100% juge people on how they treat staffs. If you are respectful to people depending on their work, you are not respectful at all. 70 70points reply Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly! Same thing if you only treat women or men with respect if you find them attractive. 49 49points reply Load More Replies... Enlee Jones Enlee Jones Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Exactly. Don’t look how how they treat people they like, look at how they treat people they don’t like. 14 14points reply Samuel Pelatan Samuel Pelatan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago omg true, the office reception is a real test for that 7 7points reply AD B AD B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago I also find this to be akin to men only realizing women should be respected because they themselves have female relatives 0 0points reply Pas VotreAffaire Pas VotreAffaire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago Two ways to find out a lot about someone quickly: watch how they treat "service"-type staff (not intended as derogatory in any way, I was a waitress for a long time), and how they react if you say no to them about something, big or small. 15 15points reply Kaitlyn Kormos Kaitlyn Kormos Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago There is a flip side to treating them nice. My narcissistic FIL treats staff so nice it is demeaning. He does it to 'prove' he's a good guy while showing off his wealth, but what he is really saying is I'm better than you, and you poor stupid person must need my charity to survive. It is disgusting to watch! 8 8points reply Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago (edited) How do you know that's what he really means? Did he tell you that? Some men are just socially awkward and can come off as condescending and haughty. I have a law partner at my firm like that. He seems disingenuous because he has a weird vibe to him (the way he talks, and his mannerisms)--it feels like he's secretly thinking he's a lot better than everyone else. Maybe he IS sometimes--but he is actually just really socially awkward and doesn't understand how to dial down the saccharin so he doesn't weird people out. 2 2points reply Tricia Georgetti Tricia Georgetti Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 months ago My sister and I were raised you treat the janitor the same way you treat a CEO. 6 6points reply Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Klaatu Verrata (Cough) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago SAME. 100%! Anyone can treat people who have power well, because it's self serving. How you treat people who are in the service industries reveals your TRUE nature. I also judge people's tipping habits--mainly because I know what it's like to work in service industries--how hard they work and how much they put up with for such little pay. So I tip bare minimum of 20% (for bad service) and have no problem going above 100%, sometimes even 200% or more for good service--because without a great server, even the best meal is going to be less enjoyable. I don't expect other people to be that generous, but they should definitely do better than the bare minimum--especially for great service. People who don't tip or barely tip have no business going out to eat. 5 5points reply Whowhatwherewhy? Whowhatwherewhy? Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 8 months ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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