Wife Is Baffled When Husband Chooses To Eat Female Coworker s Food Instead Of The Dinner She s Made
Wife Is Baffled When Husband Chooses To Eat Female Coworker's Food Instead Of The Dinner She's Made Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Wife Is Baffled When Husband Chooses To Eat Female Coworker’ s Food Instead Of The Dinner She’ s Made Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 139points User submission 1.6K 418.5K Other5 months ago
Denis Tymulis
Being in a serious relationship is not just getting to know each other really well, like revealing the name of your childhood pet or what you hated about college. It's about connecting on a deep personal level, aligning your life goals, and driving your partner, helping them to chase their hopes and fight their fears. Sadly, not every couple achieves these things. Recently, a woman told her story to the subreddit "Am I a [Jerk]?", asking its members if she overreacted when her husband brought home a meal that his female coworker had made for him. However, almost everyone who read the anonymous confession thought that it was actually her spouse who was being inconsiderate. One thing's for sure, though. This marital conflict, as unpleasant as it is for the folks involved, is a perfect reminder that you must never stop communicating with your significant other.
Image credits: fauxels(not the actual photo)
April Eldemire, LMFT, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 15 years of experience helping couples improve their sense of friendship and lessen conflict, believes that all healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. "Boundaries aren't restricting or limiting. They provide the freedom to express your needs and values while also honoring the needs and values of your partner," she wrote in Psychology Today. According to Eldemire, setting boundaries is:The essential antidote to codependency;A prerequisite for emotional well-being;A learnable skill that determines the success and longevity of any relationship;Setting healthy boundaries can transform your relationship and elevate your own self-respect. We all have different limits, small and big. They serve as an outward expression of our core values and beliefs and reflect what we need to feel safe, respected, and loved. Eldemire said that successfully married couples often establish boundaries in the following areas:In-laws and family (e.g., how often we visit the in-laws, how much personal details they should know about the marriage);Personal privacy (e.g., agreeing not to go through each other's phones, not being forced to share details about the past);Communication (e.g., zero tolerance for shouting or name-calling);Autonomy (e.g., the freedom to make your own decisions, work toward goals, or maintain friendships outside the marriage);Physical space (e.g., zero tolerance for violence, agreements about sex including when, where, and how);Money (e.g., not hiding money or debt from each other);Home life (e.g., expectations on shared parenting, household chores, quality time spent together);Relationship rules (e.g., the expectation of loyalty and fidelity, trust and respect). Judging from this list, the author of the story and her husband have failed to touch on multiple subjects. The therapist believes that those couples who wish to stay together have at least four ways to set and respect each other's boundaries. Use clear communication. "Spend time identifying what is important to you in your relationship and your life," Eldemire advised. "What [do you refuse to compromise on] and what are you willing to be more flexible about? Once you've identified your specific boundaries, use clear language when discussing them with your partner." This means using phrases like, "I am not OK with raised voices during conflict." Next, set clear consequences. "Once you and your partner have discussed your boundaries-the 'musts' and 'must nots' your relationship needs to be successful-the next step is to be clear about what the consequences are if and when boundaries aren't respected," Eldemire explained. Let's take the before-mentioned example and imagine that you and your spouse agree that you will not raise your voices during conflict. A possible consequence of yelling during an argument could be pausing it and taking a 30-minute break. "It is imperative that you follow through on the consequences of any boundary violation," Eldemire highlighted. "Not following through shows your partner that you don't respect your own boundaries-and if you don't respect your boundaries, why should they?" This brings us to number three. Take responsibility. "Everything you do and say has a natural consequence, whether positive or negative," the therapist said. "For example, if you're frequently critical of your spouse, they probably won't want to be intimate with you. But if you speak kindly and refrain from yelling during an argument, they're more likely to feel secure and desire physical intimacy and connection." The same principle applies to honoring your partner's boundaries. "Realize that what you say and do (or don't do) affects your partner. Understand that you may slip up along the way, especially if you and your partner are new to setting healthy boundaries. Take responsibility when you make a mistake, offer genuine apologies, and always circle back to clear, respectful communication." And lastly, don't be afraid to seek professional help. Setting boundaries is hard, so why not consult with a therapist or another professional if you and your spouse wish to maintain your marriage? "It can be extremely beneficial, especially if you are creating 'big' boundaries around issues like alcoholism, infidelity, or child-rearing," Eldemire. So maybe not everything is lost for the woman who shared this story. I guess it depends on whether she and her husband still believe in each other.
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 419Kviews Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Author, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Write comments POST CLG CLG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should send Nelly a photo of herself eating Nelly's dinner. 115 115points reply Winter Winter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yes! Or dumping it into the trash. 81 81points reply Load More Replies... Jp@nda Jp@nda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago See i would take a pic of myself eating it while i was in bed with the hubby asleep on me, obviously undressed under the covers, and say "thanks i needed that after the night we had" and send that to the to the wanna be home wrecking twāt 32 32points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago And sending back a smashed plate. 7 7points reply Joyce Monty Joyce Monty Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Great idea. Or a picture of you feeding it to the dog. 23 23points reply J D J D Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Definitely should take a picture with your husband's phone either eating the food or trashing it....and have him send it. See how he responds....definitely something more than food. Emotional affair...why is your husband having conversations about your cooking...very disrespectful to the marriage dynamic. I wonder what else he talks to the co-worker about. I wish you the best with peace and serenity. 11 11points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. "Emotional affair" is a phrase coined by controlling people looking to control who their spouse talks to. -16 -16points reply Falcon Falcon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Now that's what I call a power move. xD 2 2points reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That sounds perfect 1 1point reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That is perfect 0 0points reply Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Priceless! 0 0points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should eat it off Nellys body..... win/win/win -3 -3points reply Darian Starfrog Darian Starfrog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Is Nelly dead? 1 1point reply Pisco Pisco Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I dont understand why is she even cooking for him. He doesnt like her food? Then he can cook his meals or move to his "lovely" coworkers house to user her as a maid. F*****g a*****e 86 86points reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Well said! There is an element of antiquated "gender roles" to this. 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Liesl English Liesl English Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I love her response of saying she doesn't owe him a damn thing. She really doesn't. 9 9points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Neither does he though. Why do feel he "owes" if she doesnt? -7 -7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago So you mean to say he should eat co-worker's meals from time to time but expect a meal from his wife when his coworkers hasn't cooked for him, and he doesn't own his wife to take her side when his coworker humiliates her? I mean, why they even married then? Why anyone married when their coworkers can run their lives lol 6 6points reply Fenel F. Fenel F. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago That's not about the food. 3 3points reply Kensi Kensi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Exactly what I was thinking. 3 3points reply Anne Purkey Caulfield Anne Purkey Caulfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Nelly is trying to make the wife feel badly. She can't cook? I can! I'm a better wife, pick me! Pick me! The suit comment really drives that home. Nelly is a pick me 2 2points reply jessica nora jessica nora Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> ???.??????.??? -58 -58points reply Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yeah, this is a thing. When my boyfriend and I started dating, a co-worker noticed what kind of food he was bringing in for lunch. A few times it was something like Ramen instead of leftovers and she assumed that was because our relationship was doing bad (no, missy, I was depressed and he was learning to cook). He had no idea why I was so alarmed. If a person at work is starting to notice things about your behavior, that's not always a bad thing (like that you are sad so they try to cheer you up) but when they insert themselves into the situation ("oh my cooking is better"), that is something completely different. It's like a male Peacock flashing their feathers for a mate; the coworker is putting all her good skills (feathers) on blast to attract a mate. 82 82points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Sorry, but if a man who has a girlfriend/wife AND a coworker that are both trying to please him, you bet your a*s he's aware of it. I refuse to believe he 'had no idea why you were so alarmed', if the roles were reversed and a male coworker was making you lunch everyday because they felt you didn't get adequate food served at home, how would your bf feel? 24 24points reply Load More Replies... Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Okay, you can refuse to believe it. I believed it because he is on the autistic spectrum and social stuff like that went over his head in our early years. I'm not going to respond to your directed question, no reason to accuse me of something you only know a snippet about. Good day. 3 3points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It wasn't my intention to accuse you of anything and I'm sorry I formulated it that way. I meant it in a more general sense, but I see that that isn't evident from the post I typed. 0 0points reply Liz Schwab Liz Schwab Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Not all allistic people have autistic people in their lives or think to have them on their radar. Not excusing the behavior, just explaining. I have more autistic and neuro- divergent friends than allistic and neuro-typical, so... -1 -1point reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) I'm not sure every guy is like that, Susie, unless you want to represent all men. He might really think his coworker is just being nice because he's married and isn't material for flirting. Does that make him naive? Yes. But not every guy is alpha male with some developed 'instincts towards women' 1 1point reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why do men get a pass when they act badly? We constantly make excuses and allow them to over explain to get their way or should I say cake? 0 0points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I guess you're right, I was extremely generalizing there. 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. Me and my partner dont care 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. It's not that big of a deal me and my partner woukd not care whatsoever 0 0points reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago HIT THEM IN THE POCKET BOOK! Tell Nelly's boss what's happening. There are rules against romances in the office. Get her fired. Play that your husband is an "innocent" party here to protect his salary and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but needs help from H.R. Next, file a billion dollar suit against Nelly for interference in your marriage and serve her at the office. Judge will find for you and assess damages.. Drag out the suit so she has to pay her lawyer for each action. Make your husband pay for your lawyer. Then, tell the b**** you will make her life so miserable and expensive unless she backs off and you will enjoy doing so. Give her examples of diabolical events, like hiring teens to egg her as she enters work. Just talk about the inconveniences she will encounter while staring coldly. Then tell your family and his family. Air the dirty laundry. Shame him. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Dump salt on or toss meals in the garbage. -1 -1point reply Jessica254 Jessica254 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com -142 -142points reply Load More Comments POST CLG CLG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should send Nelly a photo of herself eating Nelly's dinner. 115 115points reply Winter Winter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yes! Or dumping it into the trash. 81 81points reply Load More Replies... Jp@nda Jp@nda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago See i would take a pic of myself eating it while i was in bed with the hubby asleep on me, obviously undressed under the covers, and say "thanks i needed that after the night we had" and send that to the to the wanna be home wrecking twāt 32 32points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago And sending back a smashed plate. 7 7points reply Joyce Monty Joyce Monty Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Great idea. Or a picture of you feeding it to the dog. 23 23points reply J D J D Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Definitely should take a picture with your husband's phone either eating the food or trashing it....and have him send it. See how he responds....definitely something more than food. Emotional affair...why is your husband having conversations about your cooking...very disrespectful to the marriage dynamic. I wonder what else he talks to the co-worker about. I wish you the best with peace and serenity. 11 11points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. "Emotional affair" is a phrase coined by controlling people looking to control who their spouse talks to. -16 -16points reply Falcon Falcon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Now that's what I call a power move. xD 2 2points reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That sounds perfect 1 1point reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That is perfect 0 0points reply Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Priceless! 0 0points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should eat it off Nellys body..... win/win/win -3 -3points reply Darian Starfrog Darian Starfrog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Is Nelly dead? 1 1point reply Pisco Pisco Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I dont understand why is she even cooking for him. He doesnt like her food? Then he can cook his meals or move to his "lovely" coworkers house to user her as a maid. F*****g a*****e 86 86points reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Well said! There is an element of antiquated "gender roles" to this. 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Liesl English Liesl English Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I love her response of saying she doesn't owe him a damn thing. She really doesn't. 9 9points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Neither does he though. Why do feel he "owes" if she doesnt? -7 -7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago So you mean to say he should eat co-worker's meals from time to time but expect a meal from his wife when his coworkers hasn't cooked for him, and he doesn't own his wife to take her side when his coworker humiliates her? I mean, why they even married then? Why anyone married when their coworkers can run their lives lol 6 6points reply Fenel F. Fenel F. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago That's not about the food. 3 3points reply Kensi Kensi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Exactly what I was thinking. 3 3points reply Anne Purkey Caulfield Anne Purkey Caulfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Nelly is trying to make the wife feel badly. She can't cook? I can! I'm a better wife, pick me! Pick me! The suit comment really drives that home. Nelly is a pick me 2 2points reply jessica nora jessica nora Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> ???.??????.??? -58 -58points reply Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yeah, this is a thing. When my boyfriend and I started dating, a co-worker noticed what kind of food he was bringing in for lunch. A few times it was something like Ramen instead of leftovers and she assumed that was because our relationship was doing bad (no, missy, I was depressed and he was learning to cook). He had no idea why I was so alarmed. If a person at work is starting to notice things about your behavior, that's not always a bad thing (like that you are sad so they try to cheer you up) but when they insert themselves into the situation ("oh my cooking is better"), that is something completely different. It's like a male Peacock flashing their feathers for a mate; the coworker is putting all her good skills (feathers) on blast to attract a mate. 82 82points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Sorry, but if a man who has a girlfriend/wife AND a coworker that are both trying to please him, you bet your a*s he's aware of it. I refuse to believe he 'had no idea why you were so alarmed', if the roles were reversed and a male coworker was making you lunch everyday because they felt you didn't get adequate food served at home, how would your bf feel? 24 24points reply Load More Replies... Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Okay, you can refuse to believe it. I believed it because he is on the autistic spectrum and social stuff like that went over his head in our early years. I'm not going to respond to your directed question, no reason to accuse me of something you only know a snippet about. Good day. 3 3points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It wasn't my intention to accuse you of anything and I'm sorry I formulated it that way. I meant it in a more general sense, but I see that that isn't evident from the post I typed. 0 0points reply Liz Schwab Liz Schwab Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Not all allistic people have autistic people in their lives or think to have them on their radar. Not excusing the behavior, just explaining. I have more autistic and neuro- divergent friends than allistic and neuro-typical, so... -1 -1point reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) I'm not sure every guy is like that, Susie, unless you want to represent all men. He might really think his coworker is just being nice because he's married and isn't material for flirting. Does that make him naive? Yes. But not every guy is alpha male with some developed 'instincts towards women' 1 1point reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why do men get a pass when they act badly? We constantly make excuses and allow them to over explain to get their way or should I say cake? 0 0points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I guess you're right, I was extremely generalizing there. 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. Me and my partner dont care 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. It's not that big of a deal me and my partner woukd not care whatsoever 0 0points reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago HIT THEM IN THE POCKET BOOK! Tell Nelly's boss what's happening. There are rules against romances in the office. Get her fired. Play that your husband is an "innocent" party here to protect his salary and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but needs help from H.R. Next, file a billion dollar suit against Nelly for interference in your marriage and serve her at the office. Judge will find for you and assess damages.. Drag out the suit so she has to pay her lawyer for each action. Make your husband pay for your lawyer. Then, tell the b**** you will make her life so miserable and expensive unless she backs off and you will enjoy doing so. Give her examples of diabolical events, like hiring teens to egg her as she enters work. Just talk about the inconveniences she will encounter while staring coldly. Then tell your family and his family. Air the dirty laundry. Shame him. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Dump salt on or toss meals in the garbage. -1 -1point reply Jessica254 Jessica254 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com -142 -142points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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Wife Is Baffled When Husband Chooses To Eat Female Coworker’ s Food Instead Of The Dinner She’ s Made
419Kviews Rokas Laurinavičius andDenis Tymulis
Being in a serious relationship is not just getting to know each other really well, like revealing the name of your childhood pet or what you hated about college. It's about connecting on a deep personal level, aligning your life goals, and driving your partner, helping them to chase their hopes and fight their fears. Sadly, not every couple achieves these things. Recently, a woman told her story to the subreddit "Am I a [Jerk]?", asking its members if she overreacted when her husband brought home a meal that his female coworker had made for him. However, almost everyone who read the anonymous confession thought that it was actually her spouse who was being inconsiderate. One thing's for sure, though. This marital conflict, as unpleasant as it is for the folks involved, is a perfect reminder that you must never stop communicating with your significant other.
This woman thought she was going to surprise her husband by cooking him a nice dinner
Image credits: Live on Shot (not the actual photo)But the man came home with a meal that his female coworker had prepared for him
Image credits: fauxels(not the actual photo)
April Eldemire, LMFT, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 15 years of experience helping couples improve their sense of friendship and lessen conflict, believes that all healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. "Boundaries aren't restricting or limiting. They provide the freedom to express your needs and values while also honoring the needs and values of your partner," she wrote in Psychology Today. According to Eldemire, setting boundaries is:The essential antidote to codependency;A prerequisite for emotional well-being;A learnable skill that determines the success and longevity of any relationship;Setting healthy boundaries can transform your relationship and elevate your own self-respect. We all have different limits, small and big. They serve as an outward expression of our core values and beliefs and reflect what we need to feel safe, respected, and loved. Eldemire said that successfully married couples often establish boundaries in the following areas:In-laws and family (e.g., how often we visit the in-laws, how much personal details they should know about the marriage);Personal privacy (e.g., agreeing not to go through each other's phones, not being forced to share details about the past);Communication (e.g., zero tolerance for shouting or name-calling);Autonomy (e.g., the freedom to make your own decisions, work toward goals, or maintain friendships outside the marriage);Physical space (e.g., zero tolerance for violence, agreements about sex including when, where, and how);Money (e.g., not hiding money or debt from each other);Home life (e.g., expectations on shared parenting, household chores, quality time spent together);Relationship rules (e.g., the expectation of loyalty and fidelity, trust and respect). Judging from this list, the author of the story and her husband have failed to touch on multiple subjects. The therapist believes that those couples who wish to stay together have at least four ways to set and respect each other's boundaries. Use clear communication. "Spend time identifying what is important to you in your relationship and your life," Eldemire advised. "What [do you refuse to compromise on] and what are you willing to be more flexible about? Once you've identified your specific boundaries, use clear language when discussing them with your partner." This means using phrases like, "I am not OK with raised voices during conflict." Next, set clear consequences. "Once you and your partner have discussed your boundaries-the 'musts' and 'must nots' your relationship needs to be successful-the next step is to be clear about what the consequences are if and when boundaries aren't respected," Eldemire explained. Let's take the before-mentioned example and imagine that you and your spouse agree that you will not raise your voices during conflict. A possible consequence of yelling during an argument could be pausing it and taking a 30-minute break. "It is imperative that you follow through on the consequences of any boundary violation," Eldemire highlighted. "Not following through shows your partner that you don't respect your own boundaries-and if you don't respect your boundaries, why should they?" This brings us to number three. Take responsibility. "Everything you do and say has a natural consequence, whether positive or negative," the therapist said. "For example, if you're frequently critical of your spouse, they probably won't want to be intimate with you. But if you speak kindly and refrain from yelling during an argument, they're more likely to feel secure and desire physical intimacy and connection." The same principle applies to honoring your partner's boundaries. "Realize that what you say and do (or don't do) affects your partner. Understand that you may slip up along the way, especially if you and your partner are new to setting healthy boundaries. Take responsibility when you make a mistake, offer genuine apologies, and always circle back to clear, respectful communication." And lastly, don't be afraid to seek professional help. Setting boundaries is hard, so why not consult with a therapist or another professional if you and your spouse wish to maintain your marriage? "It can be extremely beneficial, especially if you are creating 'big' boundaries around issues like alcoholism, infidelity, or child-rearing," Eldemire. So maybe not everything is lost for the woman who shared this story. I guess it depends on whether she and her husband still believe in each other.
After reading the story people said they think there s more to it than just food
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! 419Kviews Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Author, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Denis Tymulis Follow Unfollow Denis Tymulis Author, Community member Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding.
Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Or dumping it into the trash. 81 81points reply Load More Replies... Jp@nda Jp@nda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago See i would take a pic of myself eating it while i was in bed with the hubby asleep on me, obviously undressed under the covers, and say "thanks i needed that after the night we had" and send that to the to the wanna be home wrecking twāt 32 32points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago And sending back a smashed plate. 7 7points reply Joyce Monty Joyce Monty Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Great idea. Or a picture of you feeding it to the dog. 23 23points reply J D J D Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Definitely should take a picture with your husband's phone either eating the food or trashing it....and have him send it. See how he responds....definitely something more than food. Emotional affair...why is your husband having conversations about your cooking...very disrespectful to the marriage dynamic. I wonder what else he talks to the co-worker about. I wish you the best with peace and serenity. 11 11points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. "Emotional affair" is a phrase coined by controlling people looking to control who their spouse talks to. -16 -16points reply Falcon Falcon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Now that's what I call a power move. xD 2 2points reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That sounds perfect 1 1point reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That is perfect 0 0points reply Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Priceless! 0 0points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should eat it off Nellys body..... win/win/win -3 -3points reply Darian Starfrog Darian Starfrog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Is Nelly dead? 1 1point reply Pisco Pisco Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I dont understand why is she even cooking for him. He doesnt like her food? Then he can cook his meals or move to his "lovely" coworkers house to user her as a maid. F*****g a*****e 86 86points reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Well said! There is an element of antiquated "gender roles" to this. 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Liesl English Liesl English Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I love her response of saying she doesn't owe him a damn thing. She really doesn't. 9 9points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Neither does he though. Why do feel he "owes" if she doesnt? -7 -7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago So you mean to say he should eat co-worker's meals from time to time but expect a meal from his wife when his coworkers hasn't cooked for him, and he doesn't own his wife to take her side when his coworker humiliates her? I mean, why they even married then? Why anyone married when their coworkers can run their lives lol 6 6points reply Fenel F. Fenel F. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago That's not about the food. 3 3points reply Kensi Kensi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Exactly what I was thinking. 3 3points reply Anne Purkey Caulfield Anne Purkey Caulfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Nelly is trying to make the wife feel badly. She can't cook? I can! I'm a better wife, pick me! Pick me! The suit comment really drives that home. Nelly is a pick me 2 2points reply jessica nora jessica nora Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> ???.??????.??? -58 -58points reply Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yeah, this is a thing. When my boyfriend and I started dating, a co-worker noticed what kind of food he was bringing in for lunch. A few times it was something like Ramen instead of leftovers and she assumed that was because our relationship was doing bad (no, missy, I was depressed and he was learning to cook). He had no idea why I was so alarmed. If a person at work is starting to notice things about your behavior, that's not always a bad thing (like that you are sad so they try to cheer you up) but when they insert themselves into the situation ("oh my cooking is better"), that is something completely different. It's like a male Peacock flashing their feathers for a mate; the coworker is putting all her good skills (feathers) on blast to attract a mate. 82 82points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Sorry, but if a man who has a girlfriend/wife AND a coworker that are both trying to please him, you bet your a*s he's aware of it. I refuse to believe he 'had no idea why you were so alarmed', if the roles were reversed and a male coworker was making you lunch everyday because they felt you didn't get adequate food served at home, how would your bf feel? 24 24points reply Load More Replies... Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Okay, you can refuse to believe it. I believed it because he is on the autistic spectrum and social stuff like that went over his head in our early years. I'm not going to respond to your directed question, no reason to accuse me of something you only know a snippet about. Good day. 3 3points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It wasn't my intention to accuse you of anything and I'm sorry I formulated it that way. I meant it in a more general sense, but I see that that isn't evident from the post I typed. 0 0points reply Liz Schwab Liz Schwab Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Not all allistic people have autistic people in their lives or think to have them on their radar. Not excusing the behavior, just explaining. I have more autistic and neuro- divergent friends than allistic and neuro-typical, so... -1 -1point reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) I'm not sure every guy is like that, Susie, unless you want to represent all men. He might really think his coworker is just being nice because he's married and isn't material for flirting. Does that make him naive? Yes. But not every guy is alpha male with some developed 'instincts towards women' 1 1point reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why do men get a pass when they act badly? We constantly make excuses and allow them to over explain to get their way or should I say cake? 0 0points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I guess you're right, I was extremely generalizing there. 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. Me and my partner dont care 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. It's not that big of a deal me and my partner woukd not care whatsoever 0 0points reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago HIT THEM IN THE POCKET BOOK! Tell Nelly's boss what's happening. There are rules against romances in the office. Get her fired. Play that your husband is an "innocent" party here to protect his salary and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but needs help from H.R. Next, file a billion dollar suit against Nelly for interference in your marriage and serve her at the office. Judge will find for you and assess damages.. Drag out the suit so she has to pay her lawyer for each action. Make your husband pay for your lawyer. Then, tell the b**** you will make her life so miserable and expensive unless she backs off and you will enjoy doing so. Give her examples of diabolical events, like hiring teens to egg her as she enters work. Just talk about the inconveniences she will encounter while staring coldly. Then tell your family and his family. Air the dirty laundry. Shame him. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Dump salt on or toss meals in the garbage. -1 -1point reply Jessica254 Jessica254 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. I make more then $12,000 a month online. It’s enough to comfortably replace my old jobs income, especially considering I only work about 11 to 12 hours a week from home. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried it… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====) www.fuljobz.com -142 -142points reply Load More Comments POST CLG CLG Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should send Nelly a photo of herself eating Nelly's dinner. 115 115points reply Winter Winter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yes! Or dumping it into the trash. 81 81points reply Load More Replies... Jp@nda Jp@nda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago See i would take a pic of myself eating it while i was in bed with the hubby asleep on me, obviously undressed under the covers, and say "thanks i needed that after the night we had" and send that to the to the wanna be home wrecking twāt 32 32points reply CL Rowan CL Rowan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago And sending back a smashed plate. 7 7points reply Joyce Monty Joyce Monty Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Great idea. Or a picture of you feeding it to the dog. 23 23points reply J D J D Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Definitely should take a picture with your husband's phone either eating the food or trashing it....and have him send it. See how he responds....definitely something more than food. Emotional affair...why is your husband having conversations about your cooking...very disrespectful to the marriage dynamic. I wonder what else he talks to the co-worker about. I wish you the best with peace and serenity. 11 11points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. "Emotional affair" is a phrase coined by controlling people looking to control who their spouse talks to. -16 -16points reply Falcon Falcon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Now that's what I call a power move. xD 2 2points reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That sounds perfect 1 1point reply Phee C Phee C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago That is perfect 0 0points reply Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Parenthood....it ain't for the weak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Priceless! 0 0points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Wife should eat it off Nellys body..... win/win/win -3 -3points reply Darian Starfrog Darian Starfrog Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Is Nelly dead? 1 1point reply Pisco Pisco Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I dont understand why is she even cooking for him. He doesnt like her food? Then he can cook his meals or move to his "lovely" coworkers house to user her as a maid. F*****g a*****e 86 86points reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Well said! There is an element of antiquated "gender roles" to this. 28 28points reply Load More Replies... Liesl English Liesl English Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago I love her response of saying she doesn't owe him a damn thing. She really doesn't. 9 9points reply G Kionik G Kionik Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Neither does he though. Why do feel he "owes" if she doesnt? -7 -7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago So you mean to say he should eat co-worker's meals from time to time but expect a meal from his wife when his coworkers hasn't cooked for him, and he doesn't own his wife to take her side when his coworker humiliates her? I mean, why they even married then? Why anyone married when their coworkers can run their lives lol 6 6points reply Fenel F. Fenel F. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago That's not about the food. 3 3points reply Kensi Kensi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Exactly what I was thinking. 3 3points reply Anne Purkey Caulfield Anne Purkey Caulfield Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Nelly is trying to make the wife feel badly. She can't cook? I can! I'm a better wife, pick me! Pick me! The suit comment really drives that home. Nelly is a pick me 2 2points reply jessica nora jessica nora Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Making money online more than $15k just by doing simple work from home. I have received $18376 last month. Its an easy and simple job to do and its earnings are much better than regular office job and even a little child can do this and earns money. Everybody must try this job by just use the info on this page… AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> ???.??????.??? -58 -58points reply Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Yeah, this is a thing. When my boyfriend and I started dating, a co-worker noticed what kind of food he was bringing in for lunch. A few times it was something like Ramen instead of leftovers and she assumed that was because our relationship was doing bad (no, missy, I was depressed and he was learning to cook). He had no idea why I was so alarmed. If a person at work is starting to notice things about your behavior, that's not always a bad thing (like that you are sad so they try to cheer you up) but when they insert themselves into the situation ("oh my cooking is better"), that is something completely different. It's like a male Peacock flashing their feathers for a mate; the coworker is putting all her good skills (feathers) on blast to attract a mate. 82 82points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Sorry, but if a man who has a girlfriend/wife AND a coworker that are both trying to please him, you bet your a*s he's aware of it. I refuse to believe he 'had no idea why you were so alarmed', if the roles were reversed and a male coworker was making you lunch everyday because they felt you didn't get adequate food served at home, how would your bf feel? 24 24points reply Load More Replies... Kristal Kristal Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Okay, you can refuse to believe it. I believed it because he is on the autistic spectrum and social stuff like that went over his head in our early years. I'm not going to respond to your directed question, no reason to accuse me of something you only know a snippet about. Good day. 3 3points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago It wasn't my intention to accuse you of anything and I'm sorry I formulated it that way. I meant it in a more general sense, but I see that that isn't evident from the post I typed. 0 0points reply Liz Schwab Liz Schwab Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago Not all allistic people have autistic people in their lives or think to have them on their radar. Not excusing the behavior, just explaining. I have more autistic and neuro- divergent friends than allistic and neuro-typical, so... -1 -1point reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago (edited) I'm not sure every guy is like that, Susie, unless you want to represent all men. He might really think his coworker is just being nice because he's married and isn't material for flirting. Does that make him naive? Yes. But not every guy is alpha male with some developed 'instincts towards women' 1 1point reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Why do men get a pass when they act badly? We constantly make excuses and allow them to over explain to get their way or should I say cake? 0 0points reply Susie Elle Susie Elle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago I guess you're right, I was extremely generalizing there. 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. Me and my partner dont care 0 0points reply Myaa Rae Roth Myaa Rae Roth Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 months ago Theres nothing wrong eating someone else's dinner. It's not that big of a deal me and my partner woukd not care whatsoever 0 0points reply [email protected] [email protected] Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago HIT THEM IN THE POCKET BOOK! Tell Nelly's boss what's happening. There are rules against romances in the office. Get her fired. Play that your husband is an "innocent" party here to protect his salary and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but needs help from H.R. Next, file a billion dollar suit against Nelly for interference in your marriage and serve her at the office. Judge will find for you and assess damages.. Drag out the suit so she has to pay her lawyer for each action. Make your husband pay for your lawyer. Then, tell the b**** you will make her life so miserable and expensive unless she backs off and you will enjoy doing so. Give her examples of diabolical events, like hiring teens to egg her as she enters work. Just talk about the inconveniences she will encounter while staring coldly. Then tell your family and his family. Air the dirty laundry. Shame him. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Dump salt on or toss meals in the garbage. -1 -1point reply Jessica254 Jessica254 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 5 months ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. 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