Woman Celebrates Her Birthday Even Though It's On The Same Date As Her Nephew's 1-Year Death Anniversary, Family Drama Ensues Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Woman Celebrates Her Birthday Even Though It s On The Same Date As Her Nephew s 1-Year Death Anniversary Family Drama Ensues Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 48points 2K People, Relationships1 month ago

Woman Celebrates Her Birthday Even Though It s On The Same Date As Her Nephew s 1-Year Death Anniversary Family Drama Ensues

Jonas Grinevičius and
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Everyone grieves differently and at different paces. Losing a loved one is a major shock and it seems like your life as you know it comes to an end. However, the cold hard truth is that… life goes on, as unfair as it sounds. Even after someone's passing, eventually, you'll need to go back to work, pay your taxes, cook food, and move on in some shape or form. It doesn't mean that you forget about them, but it does mean that the world doesn't stop turning. Celebrations and parties, however, might be a bit of a sensitive issue in these cases. A redditor turned to the AITA online community for advice regarding a very sensitive subject. She explained how she had a very low-key birthday celebration on the 1-year anniversary of her nephew's passing, and how this accidentally led to a lot of hurt feelings. Scroll down to read the full story, in the author's own words, Pandas. If you'd like to share your thoughts on this highly sensitive subject, you can do so in the comments.

Losing a loved one hurts incredibly badly and it can take a long while before you even start thinking of moving on

Image credits: profivideos (not the actual photo)

A woman explained what happened when she had a private birthday celebration on the anniversary of her nephew s passing

Image credits: Webster2703 (not the actual photo) Image credits: TAMyBDay The OP explained that she only celebrated with her girlfriend. It was an intimate way to recognize the fact that her birthday even happened. However, the redditor's family got wind of this after her girlfriend shared a photo of them holding hands on social media. This led to an uproar: the OP was accused of being heartless. However, many redditors from the AITA community came out in support of the OP. Some opened up about very similar situations that happened when a loved one passed away. Others noted that what the author of the post did was in no way insensitive, and there was nothing to be mad about: a tiny dinner was not a raucous party. Earlier, psychotherapist Silva Neves kindly shared his thoughts about grieving with Bored Panda. "Some grieve with a lot of crying and others grieve with being practical, and anything else in between. Not seeing any tears does not mean that people are not grieving. The process lasts as long as it needs to last, there is no time limit," he explained. "Usually, grieving diminishes over time, which means that people become less and less upset over time, but some people will never 'recover' from grieving, especially those who lost a very important person. Most people learn to live with grief and sad
ness. Significant dates, such as anniversaries, may always be painful," the psychotherapist said. "Although there is some common knowledge about grief, such as 'stages of grief', a lot of people don't follow 'stages' of grief because grief can be messy and unpredictable. The best way to support someone who is grieving is by sitting with them, listening to them and that's it," he said. "It is also important not to tell people 'I know how you feel' because grieving is so unique, nobody can know what another person's grieving feels like, but perhaps we can imagine how painful it is. A lot of people get a lot of support with grief at the beginning of the loss, but often people stop talking about it after a while," Silva told us. "Grieving people usually do appreciate their friends asking about it, even a year later or two years later. Don't be afraid to ask the question, 'How are you?' and allow the grieving person to speak. Ask them for what they need but don't assume what they need. Sometimes a grieving person might need a hug, but sometimes they may need to sit in silence. Sometimes they may need to be distracted with something else, other times they may want to talk about their pain."

Here s what the AITA community had to say on the sensitive subject

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jonas Grinevičius Follow Unfollow Jonas Grinevičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. Read more » Ilona Baliūnaitė Ilona Baliūnaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Ilona is a photo editor at Bored Panda with an MA in Communication Of Creative Society. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a social media manager and freelance graphic designer. When she is not photoshopping or searching for the most interesting photos for stories, she is usually watching good movies and says that The Godfather is the best. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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About a year ago, my sister was about to give birth. We all knew there were going to be complications, so she was supposed to have it at a special hospital in a different city 4 hrs away. Meanwhile, I don't even live there, I live across the country. But there was no father in the picture, and my sis has a touchy relationship with our parents, so she wanted me to be the one in the room with her. I drive out, and I guess with the stress of it all, I ended up getting shingles a few days before she was to be induced. So, I ended up staying at my parents house while they went to the hospital. Baby was fine. Later, I was telling someone about all this, and how I'd been so stressed and in so much pain at that point, I was almost just glad when I got off the road and could just crawl into bed at my mom and dad's. The person basically called me an a-hole for being so selfish about it. Maybe they didn't understand that people with shingles shouldn't be around newborns, idk, but I was like, excuse me? I'm sorry? The world doesn't stop turning just because one person is having a baby. Other people still exist. You can't gatekeep suffering. I was *sick*. It really made me see that just because someone else might be experiencing something terrible, something worse than you, even, it doesn't invalidate your own feelings. They're still yours. Your life is 100% of what *you* experience. If you're going to start comparing yourself to other people just to ask if you're allowed to feel a certain way, you might as well ask if they're allowed to feel the way they do, too. Because it just goes up and up. You might as well compare them to, idk, holocaust victims, or the one person in the world who has suffered the absolute most in life, and nobody else gets to feel anything. That's not how it works. The same thing can be applied to happiness, too. If you can snatch at little pieces of happiness In life, god bless you. And I don't really know what this person was talking about anyway. I basically dropped everything, and put my life on hold for 3 months to go live in another state, and look after someone else's child. And they're going to call me selfish? Incredible. 53 53points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What a kind thing to do for your family. Don't listen to the negative idiots. You couldn't help getting sick. Hugs Izzy. 21 21points reply Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) If you have shingles it is from the fact that you had chicken pox at some point. The virus never leaves your body. Under stress it can reactivate, as it were, as shingles. For anyone who has never had chicken pox, or been vaccinated, they can catch the virus from someone with active shingles. For sure the baby would be in danger if you had been in the room or anywhere near, a newborn or anyone else who has never had the virus or not immunized. If that’s the case with your sister you should be nowhere near her either. If the baby caught it, their life would at that point surely be in danger. Every possibility at that point the baby may very well have died. You are NTA. You could have well saved a life just begun if you had been there. 13 13points reply Silre Silre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's exactly right. I had chicken pox at the same time my grandfather was receiving treatment for cancer and my mother would not allow me anywhere near him. Am I sad that I lost that time with him? Hell yeah, but I'm glad I didn't give him something his immune system was unable to fight. 9 9points reply Craig Reynolds Craig Reynolds Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Umm, you were right to do what you did because although you cannot give anyone else shingles, you absolutely can give them chickenpox if they have never had it before. 3 3points reply Jordi Sharpe Jordi Sharpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're the bees' knees Izzy. Bless you and your kind heart. 1 1point reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You did the exact right thing. This was the opposite of selfish through love and care for yourself and that new baby. I'm sorry your sister had a rough birth and you ended up with shingles. 0 0points reply Bella V Bella V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This is nuts. My Dad passed away in March. My son's 18th birthday is next month on my dad's 6 month anniversary. Will I be sad? You bet ya. Am i gonna miss him real bad and be triggered be cause he's not there to see his Grandson turn into a "man" (speaking legal age) Yes. Am I gonna shut down my Son's day and not do our tradition of going to the movies just him and me and throwing him a party because my dad is gone? Absolutely not. I also have my first grand child on the way. (daughter - 21 not son lol) Baby is due next April which is very close to my dad's one year anniversary. Am I torn up he won't be here to see his first great grand child? Yes... in fact I've already cried and will most likely cry some more several times. But does life stop? No I have to keep going for my loved ones still here and in MY beliefs (not forcing anyone here to believe it) I believe my dad is watching over us and sees everything happening, so that brings a bit of comfort. 29 29points reply Zenozenobee Zenozenobee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1st december, my dad will be gone for 22y. I still miss him, I will think about him, that day, and then the day he should have been 65, and Xmas he will be missing again. I have a thought for him, every time I'm listening to a song he loved, when I look at my kids he never met... You will miss your father every step of the way but you are going to walk anyway, and laught, love, sing and dance on the same walk. And you will be both extremly enthousiast carrying your grand child and sad they will not know him. You're right, life goes on, and while we keep going, we keep a little part of them alive with us. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... S S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago F*****g hell you didn't throw a rager, you had an evening at home with your girlfriend. Your family is nuts. 23 23points reply Emme Magnolia Emme Magnolia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Honestly, even if she did throw a rager it's ok. It's not fair and it's not ok for her sister and mother to demand she stop living her life. Of course she should be supportive of her sister but that doesn't mean she can't live her life to the fullest. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... S S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Absolutely agree. 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST Izzy Curer Izzy Curer Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) This sort of thing has really started to trigger me lately. About a year ago, my sister was about to give birth. We all knew there were going to be complications, so she was supposed to have it at a special hospital in a different city 4 hrs away. Meanwhile, I don't even live there, I live across the country. But there was no father in the picture, and my sis has a touchy relationship with our parents, so she wanted me to be the one in the room with her. I drive out, and I guess with the stress of it all, I ended up getting shingles a few days before she was to be induced. So, I ended up staying at my parents house while they went to the hospital. Baby was fine. Later, I was telling someone about all this, and how I'd been so stressed and in so much pain at that point, I was almost just glad when I got off the road and could just crawl into bed at my mom and dad's. The person basically called me an a-hole for being so selfish about it. Maybe they didn't understand that people with shingles shouldn't be around newborns, idk, but I was like, excuse me? I'm sorry? The world doesn't stop turning just because one person is having a baby. Other people still exist. You can't gatekeep suffering. I was *sick*. It really made me see that just because someone else might be experiencing something terrible, something worse than you, even, it doesn't invalidate your own feelings. They're still yours. Your life is 100% of what *you* experience. If you're going to start comparing yourself to other people just to ask if you're allowed to feel a certain way, you might as well ask if they're allowed to feel the way they do, too. Because it just goes up and up. You might as well compare them to, idk, holocaust victims, or the one person in the world who has suffered the absolute most in life, and nobody else gets to feel anything. That's not how it works. The same thing can be applied to happiness, too. If you can snatch at little pieces of happiness In life, god bless you. And I don't really know what this person was talking about anyway. I basically dropped everything, and put my life on hold for 3 months to go live in another state, and look after someone else's child. And they're going to call me selfish? Incredible. 53 53points reply Caro Caro Caro Caro Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What a kind thing to do for your family. Don't listen to the negative idiots. You couldn't help getting sick. Hugs Izzy. 21 21points reply Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter Miss Frankfurter Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) If you have shingles it is from the fact that you had chicken pox at some point. The virus never leaves your body. Under stress it can reactivate, as it were, as shingles. For anyone who has never had chicken pox, or been vaccinated, they can catch the virus from someone with active shingles. For sure the baby would be in danger if you had been in the room or anywhere near, a newborn or anyone else who has never had the virus or not immunized. If that’s the case with your sister you should be nowhere near her either. If the baby caught it, their life would at that point surely be in danger. Every possibility at that point the baby may very well have died. You are NTA. You could have well saved a life just begun if you had been there. 13 13points reply Silre Silre Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's exactly right. I had chicken pox at the same time my grandfather was receiving treatment for cancer and my mother would not allow me anywhere near him. Am I sad that I lost that time with him? Hell yeah, but I'm glad I didn't give him something his immune system was unable to fight. 9 9points reply Craig Reynolds Craig Reynolds Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Umm, you were right to do what you did because although you cannot give anyone else shingles, you absolutely can give them chickenpox if they have never had it before. 3 3points reply Jordi Sharpe Jordi Sharpe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're the bees' knees Izzy. Bless you and your kind heart. 1 1point reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You did the exact right thing. This was the opposite of selfish through love and care for yourself and that new baby. I'm sorry your sister had a rough birth and you ended up with shingles. 0 0points reply Bella V Bella V Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This is nuts. My Dad passed away in March. My son's 18th birthday is next month on my dad's 6 month anniversary. Will I be sad? You bet ya. Am i gonna miss him real bad and be triggered be cause he's not there to see his Grandson turn into a "man" (speaking legal age) Yes. Am I gonna shut down my Son's day and not do our tradition of going to the movies just him and me and throwing him a party because my dad is gone? Absolutely not. I also have my first grand child on the way. (daughter - 21 not son lol) Baby is due next April which is very close to my dad's one year anniversary. Am I torn up he won't be here to see his first great grand child? Yes... in fact I've already cried and will most likely cry some more several times. But does life stop? No I have to keep going for my loved ones still here and in MY beliefs (not forcing anyone here to believe it) I believe my dad is watching over us and sees everything happening, so that brings a bit of comfort. 29 29points reply Zenozenobee Zenozenobee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1st december, my dad will be gone for 22y. I still miss him, I will think about him, that day, and then the day he should have been 65, and Xmas he will be missing again. I have a thought for him, every time I'm listening to a song he loved, when I look at my kids he never met... You will miss your father every step of the way but you are going to walk anyway, and laught, love, sing and dance on the same walk. And you will be both extremly enthousiast carrying your grand child and sad they will not know him. You're right, life goes on, and while we keep going, we keep a little part of them alive with us. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... S S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago F*****g hell you didn't throw a rager, you had an evening at home with your girlfriend. Your family is nuts. 23 23points reply Emme Magnolia Emme Magnolia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Honestly, even if she did throw a rager it's ok. It's not fair and it's not ok for her sister and mother to demand she stop living her life. Of course she should be supportive of her sister but that doesn't mean she can't live her life to the fullest. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... S S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Absolutely agree. 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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