quot Am I The Jerk For Kicking My Husband Out Of The Delivery Room? quot
"Am I The Jerk For Kicking My Husband Out Of The Delivery Room?" Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda “ Am I The Jerk For Kicking My Husband Out Of The Delivery Room ” Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 109points 1.4K People, Relationships1 month ago
Rasa Žilinskaitė
The miracle of birth is one of the most difficult and life-changing events in a person's life. As a partner, it's up to you to become a one-stop shop of kindness, support, and entertainment. From rubbing their back to offering reassuring words, your role is to create an overall stress-free environment and just be there for your loved one. What childbirth doesn't involve is for you to play games and constantly talk on the phone with your "bros". But not everyone gets that, as this is exactly what the husband of a recent poster Moody009 on Reddit's AITA community did. As the woman explained in her story, her experience was neither convenient nor pretty as she opted for an epidural-free delivery and was in labor for 26 hours straight. Yet, her other half made everything even more challenging by being on his phone, complaining. Wishing to "be in pain in peace", the user decided to kick him out of the room, something that only ensued further family drama. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the community reactions that followed. Then decide whether the wife's actions are justified or not and be sure to weigh in on the situation in the comments.
Image credits: Jimmy Conover
Image credits: Thom Holmes
Image credits: Moody009 Many commenters expressed overwhelming support for the woman and noticed several red flags from the husband that burdened the relationship. Childbirth does not happen every day - it's an emotional and physical journey like no other - so the fact that the man was more willing to spend this time talking with his friends and family frustrated the community members. Not to mention he left the hospital and missed the birth of his child, something that made people deem the husband was in the wrong in this situation. Bringing a child into this world is an overwhelming adventure. A birth partner carries a vital role that may have a significant impact on the outcome of the birth experience. In fact, research shows that continuous support during childbirth leads to positive results for the person in labor and the little one. They are less likely to report negative ratings or feelings about their childbirth experience, and it might even reduce the length of the delivery process. A supportive partner nearby creates a safe and comfortable environment, so people should strive to learn as many tips and tricks to know what to expect in the delivery room. To gain insight from an expert in the field, we reached out to Aleksandra Evanguelidi LM, CPM, who has been a midwife in Los Angeles for over 20 years and is the co-creator and host of the podcast Under the Hood. She currently specializes in prenatal nutrition, home waterbirth, and prepping women for the rigors of conception and pregnancy. She says we don't just need more babies, we need healthy babies. When it comes to the main things expected from a birth partner during labor, Aleks told Bored Panda the number one thing is for them to be present, capital P. "It's fantastic if they can do a childbirth preparation class so that they can help their loved ones navigate the landscape of birth. Labor is for real the hardest thing a person will ever go through. There is literally no comparison in what it demands of you – so showing up means being present, being calm, and for the love of God, DO NOT GET ON YOUR CELL PHONE." Aleks pointed out a few wonderful things you can do during the delivery process: rub their back, continue to offer hydration, and speak sweet words. "Tell them the story about when you fell totally in love with them. Tell them how beautiful they are again and again. Thank them for doing this hard work for them and their child." "The amount of effort required to birth a baby is beyond imagination," she continued. "The ability to focus on the sensations which are mind-blowingly intense requires everything we have and then more. This means that we have to focus on each contraction or wave as if our life depends on it. It is also massively rewarding work to birth your child into this world." But if the partner is not supportive, such as in the story in question, it can cause the other person to feel alone and vulnerable, and even contribute to having a traumatic birth experience. "When we do not feel heard during the process of childbirth, it can often trigger trauma from our childhood when we were not listened to or when we had experiences of pain that were beyond our ability to control," Aleks said. The expert noted that, unfortunately, trauma during childbirth happens far more often than we realize "and impacts not only the outcome of the birth experience but stays with us and our babies for the rest of our lives." "I often meet people having their second or third child who still grieve years later about how the birth of their children impacted them and remain a daily source of pain," she added. "During childbirth, we are in the most vulnerable time of our lives - having support, being cared for, feeling safe and loved and witnessed is critical in informing how we feel about ourselves and our partners in years to come."
To help your loved one get through the delivery process, start preparing early. "Hire a skilled and loving doula," Aleks advised. Doulas are there to help the birth process and advocate on behalf of the family to ensure their desires outweigh hospital policies. "They help educate you on your options and choices and often become the translator between the hospital staff and you." Another tip Aleks shared for a supported birth and happy postpartum is to hire a midwife. "Midwives have excellent outcomes. In fact, countries that use midwives for Low-Risk pregnancies (including home birth) have the best Perinatal outcomes." "The United States is ranked 50th in perinatal outcomes among industrialized countries and we spend 2x as much on each pregnancy. There needs to be further research and education on the benefits and outcomes of safe midwifery care in the US." The expert mentioned that the myth that home birth is dangerous puts fear into us and makes people choose hospital birth over home birth, "even though they might prefer an unmedicated delivery or want to feel empowered during the birth process, both of which are much harder to come by in the hospital." Moreover, Aleks suggested spending more time planning for postpartum care. "While it's a luxury trend to hire a night nurse so new parents can sleep, the real benefit comes when you hire a postpartum doula who can cook nourishing foods, rub you in warming oils and help bind your belly postpartum." Lastly, take a childbirth preparation class. "You are not the expert in childbirth. Birth is a foreign landscape for most of us and the first time we are acquainted with pregnancy is when we pee positive and suddenly are faced with life taking on a completely new trajectory." According to her, there are a variety of classes available nowadays that offer the very best knowledge to help people prepare for the many parenting and life decisions ahead. "All the prep work done before labor really informs the kind of outcome we will end up with. The more we take classes and hire a provider that puts our desires and agendas first, the better the outcome. With birth, if you don't educate yourself about your options, you don't have any and the outcome will not be what you wanted but what the agenda is in the environment you give birth," Aleks said. At the end of the day, birth partners must be present and ensure their loved ones feel like they are in a supportive environment. Something that, unfortunately, the woman's husband failed to fulfill. What did you think of his actions? Was kicking him out of the room the right choice? Do you have any similar experiences you would like to share? Be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments, we'd love to hear more from you down below!
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Rasa Žilinskaitė Rasa Žilinskaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Rasa is a photo editor at Bored Panda, they have a college degree in photography and are currently studying sewing. Ever since childhood Rasa was interested in visual arts, including painting, photography, knitting and so on. When not at work or studying they like to knitting, cooking and spending quality time with their cats. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 30 Times Rich People Made It Clear To Everyone Else Just How Out Of Touch They Are Without Even Trying Ieva Pečiulytė Husband Asks If He Is Wrong For Cancelling Trip As His Pregnant Wife Asked Him To Not Drink Any Alcohol Saulė Tolstych 50 Times Old People Had No Right To Be This Wholesome And Awesome Akvile Petraityte Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Share your thoughts POST Justme Justme Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Oh honey.. take your daughter and run. Fast. 84 84points reply Seb Benson Seb Benson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Amen! 14 14points reply Load More Replies... Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She chose such a man to have a baby with, who knows what relationship the 2 of them had and how she is. "Take your daughter and run"... But not without his money ofcourse. Maybe that's how he was coping with stress, maybe that's how he always was. Ppl are not the same and react differently to different situations, some better some worse when you look from the side. Imo they both are AHs. -13 -13points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Right! She tolerated his behavior until this moment. You don't get to put up with selfish behavior for extended periods and then SUDDENLY be "surprised " that the childish twat that you've been living with is a childish twat ALL THE TIME. -12 -12points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She couldn't possibly have missed all have missed all of the glaring signs that would tell her what a douchebag this guy is. She needs to stay with him because neither one of them deserves any better. -14 -14points reply AmberR AmberR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So he was perfectly okay with going on a boys trip and likely missing the birth, but gets mad that he missed it because of his own pettiness? Seems a little like some gaslighting to shift his own issues... 82 82points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Do you really believe that this is new behavior for him? Do you really believe that this woman has not put up with a childish twat of a man man since she started dating him?? Childish behavior like this is something that has been going on for years and she has put up with it the whole time. Frankly, it's kind of stupid to live with somebody and expect them to suddenly change their behavior simply because you're about to spit out a crotch goblin. That's not how spoiled brats work. That's not how entitled turds work. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1. How do you know he is always like this? 2. "Crotch Goblin"? You mean his child that he should give 1000 efs about? That he put inside his wife? That crotch goblin? You know I don't like either, but remember, that's HIS CHILD. That should say something to him. 7 7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Comment above someone wrote how everyone reacts differently to different situations and you said "Right!" but now moan and groan how she should have seen his reaction to childbirth from a mile ago lmao. Weird flex, Tina. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 2 2points reply Katie Lutesinger Katie Lutesinger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What an unbelievably selfish turd. I smell a divorce in the very near future. 57 57points reply Charlie Charlie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago One can only hope! 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Logan Garwacki Logan Garwacki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Adding selfish turd to vocabulary 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The thing is she has been putting up with his b******t from day 1. Somebody who is this incredibly selfish is not just suddenly selfish. He was born this way. He was raised this way. And he has behaved this way since this woman met him. She was so in love, that is stupid stupid woman for the sex was so good, that she chose to ignore his behavior. I'm sorry I just don't believe he suddenly turned into a selfish douchebag. Takes years to become this this selfish. -3 -3points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Therapy. You need therapy. Desperately. She is never at fault for another adult making s**t choices. The sex was so good? Have YOU ever married a guy because the sex was good? You sound like a dude. 8 8points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago No, I'm a woman who is sick and tired of seeing women playing "oh poor pitiful me" when they know what kind of garbage they have living with them. This is not new behavior. One does not suddenly become an entitled selfish twat overnight. She's known this for at least the length of her pregnancy. She put up with this for at least a year and now is mad because the child that she's been living with all along is still a child. It was O OK until it was inconvenient for her. -2 -2points reply Ladytron Ladytron Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things are never going to change if we blame women for not being cynical enough instead of expecting men to raise up to beyond the bare minimum. That will just keep the spiral going. I see nothing wrong in expecting more of men. I believe they ARE capable and by blaming women we create excuses for shitty behavior like this (and it's nothing new, especially regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting). It's not on her. Regardless if "she should have known", his behavior is not her responsibility. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well said. By the way OP was questioning her actions indicated he might have been gaslighting her for some time. The MIL also sounds like the type that raised a narcissist. Which is a trait in emotionally abusive people. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Hey Tina Newman: Read my above comment to you as I'm sick and tired of women like you who blame possibly emotionally abused women. You're so not helping the whole problem of victims stuck in gaslighting/abusive relationships! 2 2points reply Maggie Avilla Maggie Avilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're right, they don't become a selfish twat overnight. They lovebomb you, and show you how wonderful they are for a good while, and then slip so slowly over time that you don't even see it until the a*****e is staring you in the face. She probably has had no dealings with toxic people before, and had no idea the signs or red flags until now. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Exactly. Thank you! 0 0points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 1 1point reply Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. But is it his fault she married such a dude and chose to have a baby with? -7 -7points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She's at fault for trusting someone else not to be a f*****g a*****e? No. Just no. He's at fault for his own actions every time he acts like that. Even if nobody ever stops him, it's always his fault. She didn't choose for him to be an a*****e, he chose that. 5 5points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Piotr gtfo. He is a father now but he wants to stay a teenage creep 3 3points reply Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's his fault for being a douche and then continuing to be a douche when his wife is about to give birth to THEIR BABY! 2 2points reply Load More Comments POST Justme Justme Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Oh honey.. take your daughter and run. Fast. 84 84points reply Seb Benson Seb Benson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Amen! 14 14points reply Load More Replies... Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She chose such a man to have a baby with, who knows what relationship the 2 of them had and how she is. "Take your daughter and run"... But not without his money ofcourse. Maybe that's how he was coping with stress, maybe that's how he always was. Ppl are not the same and react differently to different situations, some better some worse when you look from the side. Imo they both are AHs. -13 -13points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Right! She tolerated his behavior until this moment. You don't get to put up with selfish behavior for extended periods and then SUDDENLY be "surprised " that the childish twat that you've been living with is a childish twat ALL THE TIME. -12 -12points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She couldn't possibly have missed all have missed all of the glaring signs that would tell her what a douchebag this guy is. She needs to stay with him because neither one of them deserves any better. -14 -14points reply AmberR AmberR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So he was perfectly okay with going on a boys trip and likely missing the birth, but gets mad that he missed it because of his own pettiness? Seems a little like some gaslighting to shift his own issues... 82 82points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Do you really believe that this is new behavior for him? Do you really believe that this woman has not put up with a childish twat of a man man since she started dating him?? Childish behavior like this is something that has been going on for years and she has put up with it the whole time. Frankly, it's kind of stupid to live with somebody and expect them to suddenly change their behavior simply because you're about to spit out a crotch goblin. That's not how spoiled brats work. That's not how entitled turds work. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1. How do you know he is always like this? 2. "Crotch Goblin"? You mean his child that he should give 1000 efs about? That he put inside his wife? That crotch goblin? You know I don't like either, but remember, that's HIS CHILD. That should say something to him. 7 7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Comment above someone wrote how everyone reacts differently to different situations and you said "Right!" but now moan and groan how she should have seen his reaction to childbirth from a mile ago lmao. Weird flex, Tina. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 2 2points reply Katie Lutesinger Katie Lutesinger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What an unbelievably selfish turd. I smell a divorce in the very near future. 57 57points reply Charlie Charlie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago One can only hope! 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Logan Garwacki Logan Garwacki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Adding selfish turd to vocabulary 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The thing is she has been putting up with his b******t from day 1. Somebody who is this incredibly selfish is not just suddenly selfish. He was born this way. He was raised this way. And he has behaved this way since this woman met him. She was so in love, that is stupid stupid woman for the sex was so good, that she chose to ignore his behavior. I'm sorry I just don't believe he suddenly turned into a selfish douchebag. Takes years to become this this selfish. -3 -3points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Therapy. You need therapy. Desperately. She is never at fault for another adult making s**t choices. The sex was so good? Have YOU ever married a guy because the sex was good? You sound like a dude. 8 8points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago No, I'm a woman who is sick and tired of seeing women playing "oh poor pitiful me" when they know what kind of garbage they have living with them. This is not new behavior. One does not suddenly become an entitled selfish twat overnight. She's known this for at least the length of her pregnancy. She put up with this for at least a year and now is mad because the child that she's been living with all along is still a child. It was O OK until it was inconvenient for her. -2 -2points reply Ladytron Ladytron Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things are never going to change if we blame women for not being cynical enough instead of expecting men to raise up to beyond the bare minimum. That will just keep the spiral going. I see nothing wrong in expecting more of men. I believe they ARE capable and by blaming women we create excuses for shitty behavior like this (and it's nothing new, especially regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting). It's not on her. Regardless if "she should have known", his behavior is not her responsibility. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well said. By the way OP was questioning her actions indicated he might have been gaslighting her for some time. The MIL also sounds like the type that raised a narcissist. Which is a trait in emotionally abusive people. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Hey Tina Newman: Read my above comment to you as I'm sick and tired of women like you who blame possibly emotionally abused women. You're so not helping the whole problem of victims stuck in gaslighting/abusive relationships! 2 2points reply Maggie Avilla Maggie Avilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're right, they don't become a selfish twat overnight. They lovebomb you, and show you how wonderful they are for a good while, and then slip so slowly over time that you don't even see it until the a*****e is staring you in the face. She probably has had no dealings with toxic people before, and had no idea the signs or red flags until now. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Exactly. Thank you! 0 0points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 1 1point reply Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. But is it his fault she married such a dude and chose to have a baby with? -7 -7points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She's at fault for trusting someone else not to be a f*****g a*****e? No. Just no. He's at fault for his own actions every time he acts like that. Even if nobody ever stops him, it's always his fault. She didn't choose for him to be an a*****e, he chose that. 5 5points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Piotr gtfo. He is a father now but he wants to stay a teenage creep 3 3points reply Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's his fault for being a douche and then continuing to be a douche when his wife is about to give birth to THEIR BABY! 2 2points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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“ Am I The Jerk For Kicking My Husband Out Of The Delivery Room ”
Ieva Gailiūtė andRasa Žilinskaitė
The miracle of birth is one of the most difficult and life-changing events in a person's life. As a partner, it's up to you to become a one-stop shop of kindness, support, and entertainment. From rubbing their back to offering reassuring words, your role is to create an overall stress-free environment and just be there for your loved one. What childbirth doesn't involve is for you to play games and constantly talk on the phone with your "bros". But not everyone gets that, as this is exactly what the husband of a recent poster Moody009 on Reddit's AITA community did. As the woman explained in her story, her experience was neither convenient nor pretty as she opted for an epidural-free delivery and was in labor for 26 hours straight. Yet, her other half made everything even more challenging by being on his phone, complaining. Wishing to "be in pain in peace", the user decided to kick him out of the room, something that only ensued further family drama. Scroll down to read the story in full, as well as the community reactions that followed. Then decide whether the wife's actions are justified or not and be sure to weigh in on the situation in the comments.
This woman recently asked if she was wrong to kick her husband out of the delivery room for constantly being on the phone
Image credits: Jimmy Conover
Image credits: Thom Holmes
Image credits: Moody009 Many commenters expressed overwhelming support for the woman and noticed several red flags from the husband that burdened the relationship. Childbirth does not happen every day - it's an emotional and physical journey like no other - so the fact that the man was more willing to spend this time talking with his friends and family frustrated the community members. Not to mention he left the hospital and missed the birth of his child, something that made people deem the husband was in the wrong in this situation. Bringing a child into this world is an overwhelming adventure. A birth partner carries a vital role that may have a significant impact on the outcome of the birth experience. In fact, research shows that continuous support during childbirth leads to positive results for the person in labor and the little one. They are less likely to report negative ratings or feelings about their childbirth experience, and it might even reduce the length of the delivery process. A supportive partner nearby creates a safe and comfortable environment, so people should strive to learn as many tips and tricks to know what to expect in the delivery room. To gain insight from an expert in the field, we reached out to Aleksandra Evanguelidi LM, CPM, who has been a midwife in Los Angeles for over 20 years and is the co-creator and host of the podcast Under the Hood. She currently specializes in prenatal nutrition, home waterbirth, and prepping women for the rigors of conception and pregnancy. She says we don't just need more babies, we need healthy babies. When it comes to the main things expected from a birth partner during labor, Aleks told Bored Panda the number one thing is for them to be present, capital P. "It's fantastic if they can do a childbirth preparation class so that they can help their loved ones navigate the landscape of birth. Labor is for real the hardest thing a person will ever go through. There is literally no comparison in what it demands of you – so showing up means being present, being calm, and for the love of God, DO NOT GET ON YOUR CELL PHONE." Aleks pointed out a few wonderful things you can do during the delivery process: rub their back, continue to offer hydration, and speak sweet words. "Tell them the story about when you fell totally in love with them. Tell them how beautiful they are again and again. Thank them for doing this hard work for them and their child." "The amount of effort required to birth a baby is beyond imagination," she continued. "The ability to focus on the sensations which are mind-blowingly intense requires everything we have and then more. This means that we have to focus on each contraction or wave as if our life depends on it. It is also massively rewarding work to birth your child into this world." But if the partner is not supportive, such as in the story in question, it can cause the other person to feel alone and vulnerable, and even contribute to having a traumatic birth experience. "When we do not feel heard during the process of childbirth, it can often trigger trauma from our childhood when we were not listened to or when we had experiences of pain that were beyond our ability to control," Aleks said. The expert noted that, unfortunately, trauma during childbirth happens far more often than we realize "and impacts not only the outcome of the birth experience but stays with us and our babies for the rest of our lives." "I often meet people having their second or third child who still grieve years later about how the birth of their children impacted them and remain a daily source of pain," she added. "During childbirth, we are in the most vulnerable time of our lives - having support, being cared for, feeling safe and loved and witnessed is critical in informing how we feel about ourselves and our partners in years to come."
After reading the story people expressed support for the woman and sounded the alarm about this relationship
To help your loved one get through the delivery process, start preparing early. "Hire a skilled and loving doula," Aleks advised. Doulas are there to help the birth process and advocate on behalf of the family to ensure their desires outweigh hospital policies. "They help educate you on your options and choices and often become the translator between the hospital staff and you." Another tip Aleks shared for a supported birth and happy postpartum is to hire a midwife. "Midwives have excellent outcomes. In fact, countries that use midwives for Low-Risk pregnancies (including home birth) have the best Perinatal outcomes." "The United States is ranked 50th in perinatal outcomes among industrialized countries and we spend 2x as much on each pregnancy. There needs to be further research and education on the benefits and outcomes of safe midwifery care in the US." The expert mentioned that the myth that home birth is dangerous puts fear into us and makes people choose hospital birth over home birth, "even though they might prefer an unmedicated delivery or want to feel empowered during the birth process, both of which are much harder to come by in the hospital." Moreover, Aleks suggested spending more time planning for postpartum care. "While it's a luxury trend to hire a night nurse so new parents can sleep, the real benefit comes when you hire a postpartum doula who can cook nourishing foods, rub you in warming oils and help bind your belly postpartum." Lastly, take a childbirth preparation class. "You are not the expert in childbirth. Birth is a foreign landscape for most of us and the first time we are acquainted with pregnancy is when we pee positive and suddenly are faced with life taking on a completely new trajectory." According to her, there are a variety of classes available nowadays that offer the very best knowledge to help people prepare for the many parenting and life decisions ahead. "All the prep work done before labor really informs the kind of outcome we will end up with. The more we take classes and hire a provider that puts our desires and agendas first, the better the outcome. With birth, if you don't educate yourself about your options, you don't have any and the outcome will not be what you wanted but what the agenda is in the environment you give birth," Aleks said. At the end of the day, birth partners must be present and ensure their loved ones feel like they are in a supportive environment. Something that, unfortunately, the woman's husband failed to fulfill. What did you think of his actions? Was kicking him out of the room the right choice? Do you have any similar experiences you would like to share? Be sure to weigh in on the discussion in the comments, we'd love to hear more from you down below!
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Rasa Žilinskaitė Rasa Žilinskaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Rasa is a photo editor at Bored Panda, they have a college degree in photography and are currently studying sewing. Ever since childhood Rasa was interested in visual arts, including painting, photography, knitting and so on. When not at work or studying they like to knitting, cooking and spending quality time with their cats. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 30 Times Rich People Made It Clear To Everyone Else Just How Out Of Touch They Are Without Even Trying Ieva Pečiulytė Husband Asks If He Is Wrong For Cancelling Trip As His Pregnant Wife Asked Him To Not Drink Any Alcohol Saulė Tolstych 50 Times Old People Had No Right To Be This Wholesome And Awesome Akvile Petraityte Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Share your thoughts POST Justme Justme Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Oh honey.. take your daughter and run. Fast. 84 84points reply Seb Benson Seb Benson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Amen! 14 14points reply Load More Replies... Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She chose such a man to have a baby with, who knows what relationship the 2 of them had and how she is. "Take your daughter and run"... But not without his money ofcourse. Maybe that's how he was coping with stress, maybe that's how he always was. Ppl are not the same and react differently to different situations, some better some worse when you look from the side. Imo they both are AHs. -13 -13points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Right! She tolerated his behavior until this moment. You don't get to put up with selfish behavior for extended periods and then SUDDENLY be "surprised " that the childish twat that you've been living with is a childish twat ALL THE TIME. -12 -12points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She couldn't possibly have missed all have missed all of the glaring signs that would tell her what a douchebag this guy is. She needs to stay with him because neither one of them deserves any better. -14 -14points reply AmberR AmberR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So he was perfectly okay with going on a boys trip and likely missing the birth, but gets mad that he missed it because of his own pettiness? Seems a little like some gaslighting to shift his own issues... 82 82points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Do you really believe that this is new behavior for him? Do you really believe that this woman has not put up with a childish twat of a man man since she started dating him?? Childish behavior like this is something that has been going on for years and she has put up with it the whole time. Frankly, it's kind of stupid to live with somebody and expect them to suddenly change their behavior simply because you're about to spit out a crotch goblin. That's not how spoiled brats work. That's not how entitled turds work. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1. How do you know he is always like this? 2. "Crotch Goblin"? You mean his child that he should give 1000 efs about? That he put inside his wife? That crotch goblin? You know I don't like either, but remember, that's HIS CHILD. That should say something to him. 7 7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Comment above someone wrote how everyone reacts differently to different situations and you said "Right!" but now moan and groan how she should have seen his reaction to childbirth from a mile ago lmao. Weird flex, Tina. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 2 2points reply Katie Lutesinger Katie Lutesinger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What an unbelievably selfish turd. I smell a divorce in the very near future. 57 57points reply Charlie Charlie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago One can only hope! 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Logan Garwacki Logan Garwacki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Adding selfish turd to vocabulary 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The thing is she has been putting up with his b******t from day 1. Somebody who is this incredibly selfish is not just suddenly selfish. He was born this way. He was raised this way. And he has behaved this way since this woman met him. She was so in love, that is stupid stupid woman for the sex was so good, that she chose to ignore his behavior. I'm sorry I just don't believe he suddenly turned into a selfish douchebag. Takes years to become this this selfish. -3 -3points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Therapy. You need therapy. Desperately. She is never at fault for another adult making s**t choices. The sex was so good? Have YOU ever married a guy because the sex was good? You sound like a dude. 8 8points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago No, I'm a woman who is sick and tired of seeing women playing "oh poor pitiful me" when they know what kind of garbage they have living with them. This is not new behavior. One does not suddenly become an entitled selfish twat overnight. She's known this for at least the length of her pregnancy. She put up with this for at least a year and now is mad because the child that she's been living with all along is still a child. It was O OK until it was inconvenient for her. -2 -2points reply Ladytron Ladytron Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things are never going to change if we blame women for not being cynical enough instead of expecting men to raise up to beyond the bare minimum. That will just keep the spiral going. I see nothing wrong in expecting more of men. I believe they ARE capable and by blaming women we create excuses for shitty behavior like this (and it's nothing new, especially regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting). It's not on her. Regardless if "she should have known", his behavior is not her responsibility. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well said. By the way OP was questioning her actions indicated he might have been gaslighting her for some time. The MIL also sounds like the type that raised a narcissist. Which is a trait in emotionally abusive people. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Hey Tina Newman: Read my above comment to you as I'm sick and tired of women like you who blame possibly emotionally abused women. You're so not helping the whole problem of victims stuck in gaslighting/abusive relationships! 2 2points reply Maggie Avilla Maggie Avilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're right, they don't become a selfish twat overnight. They lovebomb you, and show you how wonderful they are for a good while, and then slip so slowly over time that you don't even see it until the a*****e is staring you in the face. She probably has had no dealings with toxic people before, and had no idea the signs or red flags until now. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Exactly. Thank you! 0 0points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 1 1point reply Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. But is it his fault she married such a dude and chose to have a baby with? -7 -7points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She's at fault for trusting someone else not to be a f*****g a*****e? No. Just no. He's at fault for his own actions every time he acts like that. Even if nobody ever stops him, it's always his fault. She didn't choose for him to be an a*****e, he chose that. 5 5points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Piotr gtfo. He is a father now but he wants to stay a teenage creep 3 3points reply Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's his fault for being a douche and then continuing to be a douche when his wife is about to give birth to THEIR BABY! 2 2points reply Load More Comments POST Justme Justme Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Oh honey.. take your daughter and run. Fast. 84 84points reply Seb Benson Seb Benson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Amen! 14 14points reply Load More Replies... Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She chose such a man to have a baby with, who knows what relationship the 2 of them had and how she is. "Take your daughter and run"... But not without his money ofcourse. Maybe that's how he was coping with stress, maybe that's how he always was. Ppl are not the same and react differently to different situations, some better some worse when you look from the side. Imo they both are AHs. -13 -13points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. Right! She tolerated his behavior until this moment. You don't get to put up with selfish behavior for extended periods and then SUDDENLY be "surprised " that the childish twat that you've been living with is a childish twat ALL THE TIME. -12 -12points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. She couldn't possibly have missed all have missed all of the glaring signs that would tell her what a douchebag this guy is. She needs to stay with him because neither one of them deserves any better. -14 -14points reply AmberR AmberR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So he was perfectly okay with going on a boys trip and likely missing the birth, but gets mad that he missed it because of his own pettiness? Seems a little like some gaslighting to shift his own issues... 82 82points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Do you really believe that this is new behavior for him? Do you really believe that this woman has not put up with a childish twat of a man man since she started dating him?? Childish behavior like this is something that has been going on for years and she has put up with it the whole time. Frankly, it's kind of stupid to live with somebody and expect them to suddenly change their behavior simply because you're about to spit out a crotch goblin. That's not how spoiled brats work. That's not how entitled turds work. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) 1. How do you know he is always like this? 2. "Crotch Goblin"? You mean his child that he should give 1000 efs about? That he put inside his wife? That crotch goblin? You know I don't like either, but remember, that's HIS CHILD. That should say something to him. 7 7points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Comment above someone wrote how everyone reacts differently to different situations and you said "Right!" but now moan and groan how she should have seen his reaction to childbirth from a mile ago lmao. Weird flex, Tina. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 2 2points reply Katie Lutesinger Katie Lutesinger Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What an unbelievably selfish turd. I smell a divorce in the very near future. 57 57points reply Charlie Charlie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago One can only hope! 31 31points reply Load More Replies... Logan Garwacki Logan Garwacki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Adding selfish turd to vocabulary 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The thing is she has been putting up with his b******t from day 1. Somebody who is this incredibly selfish is not just suddenly selfish. He was born this way. He was raised this way. And he has behaved this way since this woman met him. She was so in love, that is stupid stupid woman for the sex was so good, that she chose to ignore his behavior. I'm sorry I just don't believe he suddenly turned into a selfish douchebag. Takes years to become this this selfish. -3 -3points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Therapy. You need therapy. Desperately. She is never at fault for another adult making s**t choices. The sex was so good? Have YOU ever married a guy because the sex was good? You sound like a dude. 8 8points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago No, I'm a woman who is sick and tired of seeing women playing "oh poor pitiful me" when they know what kind of garbage they have living with them. This is not new behavior. One does not suddenly become an entitled selfish twat overnight. She's known this for at least the length of her pregnancy. She put up with this for at least a year and now is mad because the child that she's been living with all along is still a child. It was O OK until it was inconvenient for her. -2 -2points reply Ladytron Ladytron Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things are never going to change if we blame women for not being cynical enough instead of expecting men to raise up to beyond the bare minimum. That will just keep the spiral going. I see nothing wrong in expecting more of men. I believe they ARE capable and by blaming women we create excuses for shitty behavior like this (and it's nothing new, especially regarding pregnancy, childbirth and parenting). It's not on her. Regardless if "she should have known", his behavior is not her responsibility. 4 4points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well said. By the way OP was questioning her actions indicated he might have been gaslighting her for some time. The MIL also sounds like the type that raised a narcissist. Which is a trait in emotionally abusive people. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Hey Tina Newman: Read my above comment to you as I'm sick and tired of women like you who blame possibly emotionally abused women. You're so not helping the whole problem of victims stuck in gaslighting/abusive relationships! 2 2points reply Maggie Avilla Maggie Avilla Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You're right, they don't become a selfish twat overnight. They lovebomb you, and show you how wonderful they are for a good while, and then slip so slowly over time that you don't even see it until the a*****e is staring you in the face. She probably has had no dealings with toxic people before, and had no idea the signs or red flags until now. 2 2points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Exactly. Thank you! 0 0points reply Hobbes Dogz Hobbes Dogz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Are you sure he is not an emotional abuser in said relationship? Do you know if perhaps he's been gaslighting her? The sign of her questioning if she is wrong is a classic symptom of victims of gaslighting and years of emotional abuse. The victim does not leave an abusive relationship because they don't have a grasp of reality anymore. That's what gaslighting does to them. And gaslighters are typically narcissistic - judging by the MIL's behaviour that makes sense as she raised him that way. Perhaps stop being the kind that blames the victim and shaming them, okay? 1 1point reply Piotr W Piotr W Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. But is it his fault she married such a dude and chose to have a baby with? -7 -7points reply Becca Hauck Becca Hauck Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She's at fault for trusting someone else not to be a f*****g a*****e? No. Just no. He's at fault for his own actions every time he acts like that. Even if nobody ever stops him, it's always his fault. She didn't choose for him to be an a*****e, he chose that. 5 5points reply Kristina H.N. Kristina H.N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Piotr gtfo. He is a father now but he wants to stay a teenage creep 3 3points reply Bisces Bisces Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's his fault for being a douche and then continuing to be a douche when his wife is about to give birth to THEIR BABY! 2 2points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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