30 People Share The Funniest Things They ve Heard Their Partners Say In Their Sleep
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Publish Not your original work? Add source Living with a sleep-talker is an adventure in itself. You wake up in the middle of the night to your partner mumbling complete gibberish - or muttering elaborate midnight monologues - while their mind is deep in dreamland. Time and again, you hope they will spill a juicy secret, but all they do is whisper sweet nothings and swiftly go back to sleep. And when morning rolls around, they have no clue it even happened. Sleep talking is one of those bizarre activities that lead to hilarious late-night utterances. Usually. Because once in a blue moon, your loved one will declare something so odd, you're bound to scratch your head from confusion. So one person reached out to Reddit and asked fellow users to share the creepiest, weirdest, and downright random things their partner has ever said in their sleep. And the people have spoken! From "I'm your fan" to "Open the window, Abigail, I'm burning like a meatball!", we have compiled an entertaining collection of short stories to share with you all. So grab a warm blanket and get ready to laugh through these amusing exchanges. And if you're feeling up to it, let us know if you or someone you know has ever experienced anything like this down below in the comments. Psst! For more sleep-talking goodness, check out our earlier posts right here and here. This post may include affiliate links. #1 I'm sitting in bed, scrolling through Reddit, my wife is asleep next to me. This exchange ensues:
Wife: *pushes me to get my attention*
Me: What?
Wife: I want a crunch wrap supreme.
Me: I am not going to Taco Bell right now. It's after midnight.
Wife: But we're already here.
Me: What..?
Wife: We're already at Taco Bell...see, there's the Chihuahua that says "Yo quiero Taco Bell".
Me: ....We're in bed.
Wife: *starting to get irritated* Yes, because we took the bed!
Me: We took the bed.
Wife: Yes!
Me: And how did we do that?
Wife: Are you telling me you don't know how to drive a bed?! NapoleonTheAfromite Report Final score: 303points POST Avocado Toast Avocado Toast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You seriously don't know how to drive a bed? How dare you?! 119 119points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 I woke up restless and hot, turned on the AC. Husband appeared to wake up too. He sat up and said “I’m your fan”, and waved his hands like a fan, and then laughed at his own joke and went back to sleep. Did not remember it in the morning. Wahine468 , Delaney Van Report Final score: 285points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Who needs an AC when you have such a great fan? 78 78points reply View more comments #3 My husband once sat bolt upright in bed (still fast asleep) and yelled “CAN I GET A HELL YEAH?!?”. Being the supportive wife, I of course replied “HELL YEAH!”. To which he responded “Yeah! Woo!” before falling back down on the bed and resuming the snoring.
Wish I had a video of it. He still doesn’t believe me. badger-chow Report Final score: 250points POST potato potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago lol! 36 36points reply View more comments #4 I crawled into bed when she was asleep, she reached over and grabbed my arm. She snuggled my arm a bit and I thought it was sweet...
Until, with a thick Russian accent, she says "I BREAK YOU" and acted like she was snapping my arm.
Edit: while I appreciate all of the attention this post is getting, I need to inform you all that my wife would REALLY appreciate it if I stopped trying to "activate her" with random words. Thank you. daspip , Anna Pou Report Final score: 240points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That edit needs more context? "activate"? 58 58points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 My freshmen year of school I lived with two guys in a dorm room that talked in their sleep. They wouldn’t just talk though, they’d have separate conversations with each other.
One night I woke up and one was chanting “I am the spring berry, I am the spring berry.” The other just responded “yeah, but chick-fil-a said no in 2011.”
They have no memory of this. FeloniusDirtBurglary , Eren Li Report Final score: 215points POST Vorknkx Vorknkx Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I had a sleepwalker/sleeptalker college roommate too. Once he randomly sprang up and started rummaging around his sheets and blankets, murmuring something about finding the "radio that keeps playing that music." There was no radio or music playing in the room during that exact moment. About 30 seconds later he just went back to sleep, as if nothing had happened. No memories of this event in the morning. 43 43points reply View more comments #6 A.R - "Don't rock the boat."
Me - "What boat, why?"
A.R - "Just. Don't. Rock. The. Boat."
***So what do I do? I rock her a little.***
A.R - "Oh God, no!"
Me - "What's wrong?"
A.R - "There's spiders everywhere! I told you not to rock the boat."
Then, then she screamed, jerked around, I got kicked in the chest, and she woke up to me being winded without being able to speak. Jhaydun_Dinan Report Final score: 205points POST Oliver Coine Oliver Coine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, she DID warn you! XD 134 134points reply View more comments #7 Completely at random: "OPEN THE WINDOW ABIGAIL IM BURNING LIKE A MEATBALL" we don't even know an Abigail. thoughtcasserole , Kinga Cichewicz Report Final score: 192points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago well? did Abigail open the window? 69 69points reply View more comments #8 It was me. Wife was getting ready for work in the morning. I was asleep. She kissed me goodbye. I then said, out loud, "boy, I sure hope that was my wife."
Like there are random women sneaking into my bedroom to give me kisses.
Edit: She did not think I had side women. She thought it was hilarious. I do sleep talk sometimes, mostly gibberish, like word salad-type stuff. ShortyLow , Gabriela Mendes Report Final score: 191points POST LilFishy LilFishy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Word salad type stuff made me laugh 63 63points reply View more comments #9 My wife swears up and down, that while she was reading before bed, I said: "I see you didn't bring the bag of leaves, so I know you're not serious." Zkv , Tony Alter Report Final score: 188points POST DerangedFrogPrincess1 DerangedFrogPrincess1 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, the leaves are a VERY serious matter 68 68points reply View More Replies... View more comments #10 Rolled over once to snuggle my sleeping husband and he pulled away from me growling “don’t touch me I’m married!” He got lots of brownie points.
Edit: whoa thanks for all the love guys. Hubby used to be a baker who did farmers markets and he’s pretty hot (if I do say so myself). All the lil desperate housewives would hit on him so I would imagine that was a practiced line in his head.
I also never told him what he said.... he just got some extra favors whenever I thought about it. sp_who2 , Vaibhav Jadhav Report Final score: 184points POST Full Name Full Name Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's sweet 54 54points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 "No, I DON'T want discounted health insurance, I want it to be FREE!"
-My roommate, asleep at 6AM
Also my roommate, at varying ungodly hours "Satan, not now" and "I don't have time to die I have a final tomorrow" issapun Report Final score: 183points POST Amanda Rose Amanda Rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That last one sums up the college experience in a nutshell. 100 100points reply View More Replies... View more comments #12 I’m the one who does the sleep talking. My fiancé woke up and saw me petting the blanket and referring to it as our dog who had recently passed. chrisbullock , cottonbro Report Final score: 179points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Sorry for your loss. 107 107points reply View more comments #13 Once, me and our roommate were downstairs, while my husband was sleeping upstairs. We heard him yelling in his sleep and I figured he was having a nightmare and went to check on him.
Turns out he was, in fact, not yelling. in his dream he had a bunch of creepy ghost children trapped in a hole and was mocking them by saying "WoOoOoO~ WoOoOoO~... Bitches." zikeel Report Final score: 174points POST Aroace tiger (she/they/he) Aroace tiger (she/they/he) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Omg I'm dying 71 71points reply View more comments #14 “BRACE YOURSELF!”
Then he let one rip and cackled like a maniac. missmetalz Report Final score: 170points POST Xavi Palacios Xavi Palacios Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This is awesome on another level 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 Wife: Oh no
Me: What's wrong?
Wife: I forgot
Me: Forgot what?
Wife: Gravity
Me: You forgot gravity?
Wife: Yeah
Me: It's okay, you can't forget gravity
Wife: I can't?
Me: No, it's okay.
Wife: Good.
Out like a light. Riverforasong Report Final score: 165points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago pleasant interaction. 47 47points reply View more comments #16 I was told by my fiancé that he came to bed one night after I had fallen asleep and started rubbing my back, which apparently prompted me to sleep-say “This just in! Local boy massages.. other local boy!!”
I am a 26 year old female but that night I was a young 19th century newsboy at heart. cardedformilk , Kampus Production Report Final score: 164points POST Aly.J Aly.J Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago We mush channel our inner young 19th century newsboys! 32 32points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 One of my friends little brothers came into the room where we were sleeping when he was sleepwalking. He kicked open the door and said,
"[friend's name]! Did you tell mom abou the soup thing?" To which my friend replied,
"What soup thing?"
"You know, the thing with the [strangled screaming noise] and the [bird noise]!" Then he stood there for a minute before leaving. Legally_Pumpkin , Ksenia Chernaya Report Final score: 162points POST Ronda News Channel Ronda News Channel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago need to be investigated further 65 65points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 Not a partner but my brother. He spoke English.
This is noteworthy because we had only adopted him from Romania 3 months earlier knowing zero English. He spoke better English in his sleep than while he was awake. carney338 , Omar Lopez Report Final score: 162points POST InvincibleRodent InvincibleRodent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That checks out imo, some people tend to be anxious speaking a language different from their native, and when one is asleep, the anxiety is gone. One can't gain abilities one doesn't already have in their sleep. 89 89points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 One time while sleeping I grabbed my partner by the shoulder and told her “hey, people are just stacks of years” like it was the most important thing in the world. ewhit276 , Ron Lach Report Final score: 158points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago no, no he's got a point 68 68points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 Husband: “It’s all over the floor”
Me (mostly asleep and very confused): “What is?”
Husband: “Candy! But it’s okay, they’ll get it.”
Me: “Who will get it?”
Husband (quite happily): “The mice!”
Rossakamcfreakyd Report Final score: 138points POST Xavi Palacios Xavi Palacios Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago *happy Bruno noises* 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 Random:
While rubbing my thigh "you sure do have a nice engine in your van" 3bigdogs Report Final score: 138points POST Cupid Cupid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Very nice engine (wink) 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 "The money is hidden off the road by the Indian Reservation." I tried to get her to talk more but she mumbled something I couldn't understand and went back to sleep.
She doesn't remember her dreams after she wakes up so it's this mystery of whether or not she hid money in the desert
anon , Pixabay Report Final score: 135points POST Oliver Coine Oliver Coine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I mean, it's worth a look though, right? 47 47points reply View more comments #23 My girlfriend would be stressed about work, talking about speed sheets and emails. I would answer her and say the most outrageous things.
"The spreadsheets got ice cream on them and need to be set on fire" upvoteguy5 , NONAMESONTHEWAY Report Final score: 124points POST DerangedFrogPrincess1 DerangedFrogPrincess1 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Arson!!! 29 29points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 My ex wife once said "We'll see how f*****g funny you think it is when you're dead" in the middle of the night. Not mumbled. Fully articulated in a calm voice. Scared the s**t out of me.
Current wife once indignantly shouted "I can't poop here! Everyone is watching!" And I do mean shouted. I cannot imagine how I would have reacted had I been asleep. As it was, I was playing with my iPad in bed while she slept and I about jumped out of my skin.
TheFire_Eagle , Liza Summer Report Final score: 120points POST Malus Darkblade Malus Darkblade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) I don't think your ex wife was sleep talking. You had a lucky escape. 74 74points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #25 We both talk in our sleep but I think this one was so far the weirdest.
One night he started giggling and I asked him why he's doing it. Then he just replied with "I want to tap your teeth and make them go 'hello'!"
Still no idea what that meant.
Edit:
Just remembered another one that was very weird.
One time in his sleep he started making very weird, distressed noises. I asked if he was having a nightmare and he told me he's in a war with colanders, trying to rip them apart with his bare hands. anon , Alex Hiller Report Final score: 118points POST Amanda Rose Amanda Rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Holey war? 137 137points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 "There's no love here."
Also, he studied so hard for an organic Chem final a few semesters ago that in the middle of the night he dead a*s said - "Aldehyde" at a louder than normal talking volume. I still get a good laugh at this bpwatk , Lux Graves Report Final score: 115points POST Jason Mills Jason Mills Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Really surprised I don't have any PTSD dreams about Org Chem classes . . . 22 22points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 My wife would jump to tell you that I said; "How come you get the cool spaceships and I get the Jetsons?" Then made the Jetsons flying car sound and went back to sleep
Taodragons , imdb Report Final score: 109points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago that does seem like an unfair business deal, I must admit. 34 34points reply View more comments #28 My roommate sleep talks almost every night and I once walked in on him sobbing. Full on bawling.
I asked if he was good and he said in the calmest voice “yeah sure I just wanted to see it to the end”.... he doesn’t remember it one bit.
The runner-up was when he burst into laughter and then said “why did none you try to chop my head off just then?” spurtz_ , Annie Spratt Report Final score: 103points POST SomePeopleCallMeMaurice SomePeopleCallMeMaurice Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago He’s quite emotional in his sleep! 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 Son(sleeping): ONE HUNDRED?!?!
Me: 100 what?
Son: ONE HUNDRED PUSH UPS?!!!! Lyon0922 , cottonbro Report Final score: 100points POST LilFishy LilFishy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago DOWN ON THE GROUND SOLDier LEMME SEE U DO 100 pushups 40 40points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 It’s not something he said, he sort of mumbles when he talks, but it’s the sounds he makes. Sometimes he giggles like a little girl; which is terrifying.
The worst was when he sat straight up and gasped super loud while staring at the wall. I asked what was wrong, but he was asleep. Meanwhile, I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was so scared. shoeshiner19 , Nicola Barts Report Final score: 93points POST Jubum Jubum Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband talks in his sleep too. Most of the time, this leads to some pretty funny conversations. But once he suddenly got up in the middle of the night, robotically eating a yogurt, and sat rigidly on the edge of the bed, staring at me with absolutely blank eyes. Then I understood what dead eyes mean. 37 37points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 99 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Kotryna Brašiškytė Kotryna Brašiškytė Author, BoredPanda staff Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Carrie Laughs Carrie Laughs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband sleepwalks. Once he got up and went over to the bedroom door and opened it. I'm waking up as he does this. He then comes over to me and whispers, 'We have to leave the door open - so they can get in'. 18 18points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things I have said while sleeping: "We're all screwed. I told you not to touch that." "Deacon (my dog) put mustard in the donuts." "TOASTER OVEN!!!" "Mom, why is there an octopus in the toilet?" "*my crush's name*, don't tell your mom about what happened in the hot tub yesterday." "God dammit Bill, that was my last horse." "*my sister's name*, put away your robot. This is exactly how Nazi Germany started." (And that isn't even everything I have said) 10 10points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Also I do not know anyone with a hot tub. I do not know anyone named Bill. And I don't have a horse. 10 10points reply Load More Replies... Sally Kerr Sally Kerr Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I'm a sleep talker but it was much worse when I was pregnant. Once pushed my husband out of bed shouting 'we have to get off the train, it's badger cull station' 7 7points reply Load More Comments POST Carrie Laughs Carrie Laughs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband sleepwalks. Once he got up and went over to the bedroom door and opened it. I'm waking up as he does this. He then comes over to me and whispers, 'We have to leave the door open - so they can get in'. 18 18points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things I have said while sleeping: "We're all screwed. I told you not to touch that." "Deacon (my dog) put mustard in the donuts." "TOASTER OVEN!!!" "Mom, why is there an octopus in the toilet?" "*my crush's name*, don't tell your mom about what happened in the hot tub yesterday." "God dammit Bill, that was my last horse." "*my sister's name*, put away your robot. This is exactly how Nazi Germany started." (And that isn't even everything I have said) 10 10points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Also I do not know anyone with a hot tub. I do not know anyone named Bill. And I don't have a horse. 10 10points reply Load More Replies... Sally Kerr Sally Kerr Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I'm a sleep talker but it was much worse when I was pregnant. Once pushed my husband out of bed shouting 'we have to get off the train, it's badger cull station' 7 7points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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30 People Share The Funniest Things They ve Heard Their Partners Say In Their Sleep
Ieva Gailiūtė andKotryna Brašiškytė
Publish Not your original work? Add source Living with a sleep-talker is an adventure in itself. You wake up in the middle of the night to your partner mumbling complete gibberish - or muttering elaborate midnight monologues - while their mind is deep in dreamland. Time and again, you hope they will spill a juicy secret, but all they do is whisper sweet nothings and swiftly go back to sleep. And when morning rolls around, they have no clue it even happened. Sleep talking is one of those bizarre activities that lead to hilarious late-night utterances. Usually. Because once in a blue moon, your loved one will declare something so odd, you're bound to scratch your head from confusion. So one person reached out to Reddit and asked fellow users to share the creepiest, weirdest, and downright random things their partner has ever said in their sleep. And the people have spoken! From "I'm your fan" to "Open the window, Abigail, I'm burning like a meatball!", we have compiled an entertaining collection of short stories to share with you all. So grab a warm blanket and get ready to laugh through these amusing exchanges. And if you're feeling up to it, let us know if you or someone you know has ever experienced anything like this down below in the comments. Psst! For more sleep-talking goodness, check out our earlier posts right here and here. This post may include affiliate links. #1 I'm sitting in bed, scrolling through Reddit, my wife is asleep next to me. This exchange ensues:
Wife: *pushes me to get my attention*
Me: What?
Wife: I want a crunch wrap supreme.
Me: I am not going to Taco Bell right now. It's after midnight.
Wife: But we're already here.
Me: What..?
Wife: We're already at Taco Bell...see, there's the Chihuahua that says "Yo quiero Taco Bell".
Me: ....We're in bed.
Wife: *starting to get irritated* Yes, because we took the bed!
Me: We took the bed.
Wife: Yes!
Me: And how did we do that?
Wife: Are you telling me you don't know how to drive a bed?! NapoleonTheAfromite Report Final score: 303points POST Avocado Toast Avocado Toast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago You seriously don't know how to drive a bed? How dare you?! 119 119points reply View More Replies... View more comments #2 I woke up restless and hot, turned on the AC. Husband appeared to wake up too. He sat up and said “I’m your fan”, and waved his hands like a fan, and then laughed at his own joke and went back to sleep. Did not remember it in the morning. Wahine468 , Delaney Van Report Final score: 285points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Who needs an AC when you have such a great fan? 78 78points reply View more comments #3 My husband once sat bolt upright in bed (still fast asleep) and yelled “CAN I GET A HELL YEAH?!?”. Being the supportive wife, I of course replied “HELL YEAH!”. To which he responded “Yeah! Woo!” before falling back down on the bed and resuming the snoring.
Wish I had a video of it. He still doesn’t believe me. badger-chow Report Final score: 250points POST potato potato Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago lol! 36 36points reply View more comments #4 I crawled into bed when she was asleep, she reached over and grabbed my arm. She snuggled my arm a bit and I thought it was sweet...
Until, with a thick Russian accent, she says "I BREAK YOU" and acted like she was snapping my arm.
Edit: while I appreciate all of the attention this post is getting, I need to inform you all that my wife would REALLY appreciate it if I stopped trying to "activate her" with random words. Thank you. daspip , Anna Pou Report Final score: 240points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That edit needs more context? "activate"? 58 58points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 My freshmen year of school I lived with two guys in a dorm room that talked in their sleep. They wouldn’t just talk though, they’d have separate conversations with each other.
One night I woke up and one was chanting “I am the spring berry, I am the spring berry.” The other just responded “yeah, but chick-fil-a said no in 2011.”
They have no memory of this. FeloniusDirtBurglary , Eren Li Report Final score: 215points POST Vorknkx Vorknkx Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I had a sleepwalker/sleeptalker college roommate too. Once he randomly sprang up and started rummaging around his sheets and blankets, murmuring something about finding the "radio that keeps playing that music." There was no radio or music playing in the room during that exact moment. About 30 seconds later he just went back to sleep, as if nothing had happened. No memories of this event in the morning. 43 43points reply View more comments #6 A.R - "Don't rock the boat."
Me - "What boat, why?"
A.R - "Just. Don't. Rock. The. Boat."
***So what do I do? I rock her a little.***
A.R - "Oh God, no!"
Me - "What's wrong?"
A.R - "There's spiders everywhere! I told you not to rock the boat."
Then, then she screamed, jerked around, I got kicked in the chest, and she woke up to me being winded without being able to speak. Jhaydun_Dinan Report Final score: 205points POST Oliver Coine Oliver Coine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, she DID warn you! XD 134 134points reply View more comments #7 Completely at random: "OPEN THE WINDOW ABIGAIL IM BURNING LIKE A MEATBALL" we don't even know an Abigail. thoughtcasserole , Kinga Cichewicz Report Final score: 192points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago well? did Abigail open the window? 69 69points reply View more comments #8 It was me. Wife was getting ready for work in the morning. I was asleep. She kissed me goodbye. I then said, out loud, "boy, I sure hope that was my wife."
Like there are random women sneaking into my bedroom to give me kisses.
Edit: She did not think I had side women. She thought it was hilarious. I do sleep talk sometimes, mostly gibberish, like word salad-type stuff. ShortyLow , Gabriela Mendes Report Final score: 191points POST LilFishy LilFishy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Word salad type stuff made me laugh 63 63points reply View more comments #9 My wife swears up and down, that while she was reading before bed, I said: "I see you didn't bring the bag of leaves, so I know you're not serious." Zkv , Tony Alter Report Final score: 188points POST DerangedFrogPrincess1 DerangedFrogPrincess1 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, the leaves are a VERY serious matter 68 68points reply View More Replies... View more comments #10 Rolled over once to snuggle my sleeping husband and he pulled away from me growling “don’t touch me I’m married!” He got lots of brownie points.
Edit: whoa thanks for all the love guys. Hubby used to be a baker who did farmers markets and he’s pretty hot (if I do say so myself). All the lil desperate housewives would hit on him so I would imagine that was a practiced line in his head.
I also never told him what he said.... he just got some extra favors whenever I thought about it. sp_who2 , Vaibhav Jadhav Report Final score: 184points POST Full Name Full Name Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's sweet 54 54points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11 "No, I DON'T want discounted health insurance, I want it to be FREE!"
-My roommate, asleep at 6AM
Also my roommate, at varying ungodly hours "Satan, not now" and "I don't have time to die I have a final tomorrow" issapun Report Final score: 183points POST Amanda Rose Amanda Rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That last one sums up the college experience in a nutshell. 100 100points reply View More Replies... View more comments #12 I’m the one who does the sleep talking. My fiancé woke up and saw me petting the blanket and referring to it as our dog who had recently passed. chrisbullock , cottonbro Report Final score: 179points POST Mohsie Supposie Mohsie Supposie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Sorry for your loss. 107 107points reply View more comments #13 Once, me and our roommate were downstairs, while my husband was sleeping upstairs. We heard him yelling in his sleep and I figured he was having a nightmare and went to check on him.
Turns out he was, in fact, not yelling. in his dream he had a bunch of creepy ghost children trapped in a hole and was mocking them by saying "WoOoOoO~ WoOoOoO~... Bitches." zikeel Report Final score: 174points POST Aroace tiger (she/they/he) Aroace tiger (she/they/he) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Omg I'm dying 71 71points reply View more comments #14 “BRACE YOURSELF!”
Then he let one rip and cackled like a maniac. missmetalz Report Final score: 170points POST Xavi Palacios Xavi Palacios Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This is awesome on another level 46 46points reply View More Replies... View more comments #15 Wife: Oh no
Me: What's wrong?
Wife: I forgot
Me: Forgot what?
Wife: Gravity
Me: You forgot gravity?
Wife: Yeah
Me: It's okay, you can't forget gravity
Wife: I can't?
Me: No, it's okay.
Wife: Good.
Out like a light. Riverforasong Report Final score: 165points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago pleasant interaction. 47 47points reply View more comments #16 I was told by my fiancé that he came to bed one night after I had fallen asleep and started rubbing my back, which apparently prompted me to sleep-say “This just in! Local boy massages.. other local boy!!”
I am a 26 year old female but that night I was a young 19th century newsboy at heart. cardedformilk , Kampus Production Report Final score: 164points POST Aly.J Aly.J Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago We mush channel our inner young 19th century newsboys! 32 32points reply View More Replies... View more comments #17 One of my friends little brothers came into the room where we were sleeping when he was sleepwalking. He kicked open the door and said,
"[friend's name]! Did you tell mom abou the soup thing?" To which my friend replied,
"What soup thing?"
"You know, the thing with the [strangled screaming noise] and the [bird noise]!" Then he stood there for a minute before leaving. Legally_Pumpkin , Ksenia Chernaya Report Final score: 162points POST Ronda News Channel Ronda News Channel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago need to be investigated further 65 65points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 Not a partner but my brother. He spoke English.
This is noteworthy because we had only adopted him from Romania 3 months earlier knowing zero English. He spoke better English in his sleep than while he was awake. carney338 , Omar Lopez Report Final score: 162points POST InvincibleRodent InvincibleRodent Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That checks out imo, some people tend to be anxious speaking a language different from their native, and when one is asleep, the anxiety is gone. One can't gain abilities one doesn't already have in their sleep. 89 89points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 One time while sleeping I grabbed my partner by the shoulder and told her “hey, people are just stacks of years” like it was the most important thing in the world. ewhit276 , Ron Lach Report Final score: 158points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago no, no he's got a point 68 68points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 Husband: “It’s all over the floor”
Me (mostly asleep and very confused): “What is?”
Husband: “Candy! But it’s okay, they’ll get it.”
Me: “Who will get it?”
Husband (quite happily): “The mice!”
Rossakamcfreakyd Report Final score: 138points POST Xavi Palacios Xavi Palacios Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago *happy Bruno noises* 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 Random:
While rubbing my thigh "you sure do have a nice engine in your van" 3bigdogs Report Final score: 138points POST Cupid Cupid Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Very nice engine (wink) 42 42points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 "The money is hidden off the road by the Indian Reservation." I tried to get her to talk more but she mumbled something I couldn't understand and went back to sleep.
She doesn't remember her dreams after she wakes up so it's this mystery of whether or not she hid money in the desert
anon , Pixabay Report Final score: 135points POST Oliver Coine Oliver Coine Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I mean, it's worth a look though, right? 47 47points reply View more comments #23 My girlfriend would be stressed about work, talking about speed sheets and emails. I would answer her and say the most outrageous things.
"The spreadsheets got ice cream on them and need to be set on fire" upvoteguy5 , NONAMESONTHEWAY Report Final score: 124points POST DerangedFrogPrincess1 DerangedFrogPrincess1 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Arson!!! 29 29points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 My ex wife once said "We'll see how f*****g funny you think it is when you're dead" in the middle of the night. Not mumbled. Fully articulated in a calm voice. Scared the s**t out of me.
Current wife once indignantly shouted "I can't poop here! Everyone is watching!" And I do mean shouted. I cannot imagine how I would have reacted had I been asleep. As it was, I was playing with my iPad in bed while she slept and I about jumped out of my skin.
TheFire_Eagle , Liza Summer Report Final score: 120points POST Malus Darkblade Malus Darkblade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) I don't think your ex wife was sleep talking. You had a lucky escape. 74 74points reply View More Replies... View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #25 We both talk in our sleep but I think this one was so far the weirdest.
One night he started giggling and I asked him why he's doing it. Then he just replied with "I want to tap your teeth and make them go 'hello'!"
Still no idea what that meant.
Edit:
Just remembered another one that was very weird.
One time in his sleep he started making very weird, distressed noises. I asked if he was having a nightmare and he told me he's in a war with colanders, trying to rip them apart with his bare hands. anon , Alex Hiller Report Final score: 118points POST Amanda Rose Amanda Rose Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Holey war? 137 137points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 "There's no love here."
Also, he studied so hard for an organic Chem final a few semesters ago that in the middle of the night he dead a*s said - "Aldehyde" at a louder than normal talking volume. I still get a good laugh at this bpwatk , Lux Graves Report Final score: 115points POST Jason Mills Jason Mills Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Really surprised I don't have any PTSD dreams about Org Chem classes . . . 22 22points reply View More Replies... View more comments #27 My wife would jump to tell you that I said; "How come you get the cool spaceships and I get the Jetsons?" Then made the Jetsons flying car sound and went back to sleep
Taodragons , imdb Report Final score: 109points POST The lesbian knitting panda The lesbian knitting panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago that does seem like an unfair business deal, I must admit. 34 34points reply View more comments #28 My roommate sleep talks almost every night and I once walked in on him sobbing. Full on bawling.
I asked if he was good and he said in the calmest voice “yeah sure I just wanted to see it to the end”.... he doesn’t remember it one bit.
The runner-up was when he burst into laughter and then said “why did none you try to chop my head off just then?” spurtz_ , Annie Spratt Report Final score: 103points POST SomePeopleCallMeMaurice SomePeopleCallMeMaurice Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago He’s quite emotional in his sleep! 30 30points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 Son(sleeping): ONE HUNDRED?!?!
Me: 100 what?
Son: ONE HUNDRED PUSH UPS?!!!! Lyon0922 , cottonbro Report Final score: 100points POST LilFishy LilFishy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago DOWN ON THE GROUND SOLDier LEMME SEE U DO 100 pushups 40 40points reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 It’s not something he said, he sort of mumbles when he talks, but it’s the sounds he makes. Sometimes he giggles like a little girl; which is terrifying.
The worst was when he sat straight up and gasped super loud while staring at the wall. I asked what was wrong, but he was asleep. Meanwhile, I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was so scared. shoeshiner19 , Nicola Barts Report Final score: 93points POST Jubum Jubum Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband talks in his sleep too. Most of the time, this leads to some pretty funny conversations. But once he suddenly got up in the middle of the night, robotically eating a yogurt, and sat rigidly on the edge of the bed, staring at me with absolutely blank eyes. Then I understood what dead eyes mean. 37 37points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 99 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Kotryna Brašiškytė Kotryna Brašiškytė Author, BoredPanda staff Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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POST Carrie Laughs Carrie Laughs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband sleepwalks. Once he got up and went over to the bedroom door and opened it. I'm waking up as he does this. He then comes over to me and whispers, 'We have to leave the door open - so they can get in'. 18 18points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things I have said while sleeping: "We're all screwed. I told you not to touch that." "Deacon (my dog) put mustard in the donuts." "TOASTER OVEN!!!" "Mom, why is there an octopus in the toilet?" "*my crush's name*, don't tell your mom about what happened in the hot tub yesterday." "God dammit Bill, that was my last horse." "*my sister's name*, put away your robot. This is exactly how Nazi Germany started." (And that isn't even everything I have said) 10 10points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Also I do not know anyone with a hot tub. I do not know anyone named Bill. And I don't have a horse. 10 10points reply Load More Replies... Sally Kerr Sally Kerr Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I'm a sleep talker but it was much worse when I was pregnant. Once pushed my husband out of bed shouting 'we have to get off the train, it's badger cull station' 7 7points reply Load More Comments POST Carrie Laughs Carrie Laughs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My husband sleepwalks. Once he got up and went over to the bedroom door and opened it. I'm waking up as he does this. He then comes over to me and whispers, 'We have to leave the door open - so they can get in'. 18 18points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Things I have said while sleeping: "We're all screwed. I told you not to touch that." "Deacon (my dog) put mustard in the donuts." "TOASTER OVEN!!!" "Mom, why is there an octopus in the toilet?" "*my crush's name*, don't tell your mom about what happened in the hot tub yesterday." "God dammit Bill, that was my last horse." "*my sister's name*, put away your robot. This is exactly how Nazi Germany started." (And that isn't even everything I have said) 10 10points reply rose_colored_husky717 rose_colored_husky717 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Also I do not know anyone with a hot tub. I do not know anyone named Bill. And I don't have a horse. 10 10points reply Load More Replies... Sally Kerr Sally Kerr Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I'm a sleep talker but it was much worse when I was pregnant. Once pushed my husband out of bed shouting 'we have to get off the train, it's badger cull station' 7 7points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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Employee They Disrespected Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them “I Felt So Shaken Up”: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husband’s Conversation With Mother-In-Law "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight" 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs 23 Y.O. 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