158 Bad Jokes Of The Day That Are So Lame They re Hilarious
158 Bad Jokes Of The Day That Are So Lame They're Hilarious Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 158 Bad Jokes Of The Day That Are So Lame They re Hilarious Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 23points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter Funny, Jokes1 month ago
Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė
Publish Not your original work? Add source Same as with anything in life, not all jokes are made equal. Some are deep and intellectual, others are sheepishly funny, and some deliver the most majestical wordplays. Still, there's one more category that is as controversial as Prince was in the '80s - bad jokes. Which, in their own right, can also be divided into two categories. Bad jokes that are just terrible, and bad jokes that are funny. Mostly because they are so blatantly lame, and you wouldn't expect someone to come up with such a travesty. But hey, there's no need to be humble here - we like these really bad jokes and would like to share them with you too. So, this is our compendium called Bad Jokes Of The Day. Why Bad Jokes Of The Day? Well, because these babies should be dosed one per day. Again, why? Well, because these funny bad jokes are like nothing you've seen before. They will touch you in the deepest places that haven't been tickled by amusement in a long while. They will coax a burst of laughter out of you so loud that your neighbors might think you've got your hands on a canister of laughing gas. And well, these lame jokes should be cherished, and a day for each is the perfect amount of time. So, let's skip straight to the silly jokes, shall we? They are, just as usual, a bit further down, and once you get there, you should give your vote for the worst joke you encounter. After that, there's only one more thing left to do, and it is to share this article with your friends, of course! This post may include affiliate links. #1 Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow. Report 39points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Let's appreciate they are still able to blink. 5 5points reply View more comments #2 I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Report 33points POST Nicole Bryan Nicole Bryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Ok this is one of my favorites, the first time I heard this one I started laughing out loud from the mental image I created 3 3points reply View more comments #3 Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs. It's also their biggest import. Report 28points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The product runs a huge chunk of their economy, amazing. 2 2points reply View more comments #4 I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over. Report 21points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What gave it away? 1 1point reply #5 I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back. Report 21points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Some pirate grammar I sea 5 5points reply View more comments #6 I watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming. Report 20points POST TheAquarius1978 TheAquarius1978 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Ba dum tsssss 6 6points reply #7 I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. Report 19points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just the dolls? 0 0points reply #8 What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. Report 19points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My mind pictured some special breed of fungus before i got to the brick part. What's wrong with me? 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 I'm really excited for the next autopsy club. It's open Mike night! Report 17points POST Sparkysheep Sparkysheep Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Lol! The first one that really made me laugh XD! 2 2points reply #10 I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise. Report 17points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This one deserves to be higher 1 1point reply #11 Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because it lifts their spirits. Report 17points POST Iconic Iconic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Bdmtss 1 1point reply #12 What did the clock do when it was hungry?
It went back four seconds. Report 16points POST Will Fussell Will Fussell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago bdmtsss 0 0points reply View more comments #13 I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find. Report 15points POST #14 What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but its flag is a big plus! Report 15points POST #15 Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion! Report 15points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago TRUE THO 1 1point reply View more comments #16 What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?
Artificial Swedener. Report 15points POST String cheese muppet String cheese muppet Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So that’s what’s really in those packets… 3 3points reply View more comments #17 Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use. Report 15points POST XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just to make sure everyone knows; Boxing Chess is a thing. 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener. Report 15points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago ?? 1 1point reply #19 My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, it's also terrible. Report 13points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I don't get this? 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it. Report 13points POST Alditekim Alditekim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago And when they do, it's equally funny to everyone. 0 0points reply View more comments #21 What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels. Report 13points POST Eleanor Green Eleanor Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Somehow, this is my favorite. 4 4points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt. Report 12points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's head on visual 1 1point reply View more comments #23 I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal. Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want. Report 12points POST #24 I'm a geologist, I don't take things for granite. Report 12points POST Kate Kate Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I think you're full of schist. 2 2points reply View more comments #25 What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool?
Rock pay-for scissors. Report 11points POST Electra Complex Electra Complex Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Shoot! 0 0points reply View more comments #26 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!" Report 11points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago 0 0points reply #27 I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Never again. Report 11points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Indeed 1 1point reply #28 I like to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding. Report 11points POST Vix Spiderthrust Vix Spiderthrust Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This was a Jeremy Hardy joke, except instead of "calling for pudding" he said "f****d off my face on morphine" 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles. Report 11points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago An oldie but a goodie 2 2points reply View more comments #30 What did Blackbeard the pirate say when he turned eighty?
"Aye, matey." Report 11points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just in case any thinks this, Blackbeard didn't live to turn 80. I know this is a joke, but just making sure 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #31 What do you call a cat with no legs?
You can call it whatever you want, it's still not coming. Report 11points POST James James Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Same applies to a cat with legs. 7 7points reply View more comments #32 I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it. Report 10points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, now I know what I'm doing today ? 1 1point reply View more comments #33 Why are social media influencers afraid when they go to the woods alone at night?
They're constantly being followed. Report 10points POST Peign Gaming Peign Gaming Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Meh 1 1point reply #34 I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around. Report 10points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Loll! 0 0points reply #35 Ever tried to eat a clock?
It's time-consuming. Report 10points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago And once you're done eating it just makes your mid section larger. What a big waist of time. 0 0points reply #36 How do you feel when there's no coffee?
Depresso. Report 10points POST #37 What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?
The guardians of the Galaxy. Report 10points POST #38 Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it. Report 10points POST #39 Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing! Report 9points POST Alditekim Alditekim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I thought it's because the forklift fell over. I saw it in fail army 1 1point reply View more comments #40 What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
"Oh sheet!" Report 9points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Don't worry, I got you covered buddy...sigh 0 0points reply #41 I put my root beer into a square glass. Now it's just beer. Report 9points POST #42 There are three types of people in the world. Those of us who are good at math and those of us who aren't. Report 9points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) That confused me at first. I love math 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #43 My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she wrote in her diary. Report 8points POST #44 Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag! Report 8points POST #45 Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in! Report 8points POST #46 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they're bagels! Report 8points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That would be my first time buttering a bird, I guess 1 1point reply #47 Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands. Report 8points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Lol 0 0points reply #48 They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket. They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants. Report 8points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Too soon. 0 0points reply #49 My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo. Report 8points POST B.Nelson B.Nelson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Dude... 2 2points reply #50 I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me. Report 8points POST #51 What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" Report 8points POST #52 A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50. Report 8points POST #53 Why don't crabs donate?
Because they're shellfish. Report 8points POST #54 What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment. Report 8points POST #55 What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you. Report 8points POST Peign Gaming Peign Gaming Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago "Smell where I've been!" 0 0points reply #56 What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew! Report 8points POST #57 What's the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle. Report 8points POST #58 Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose. Report 8points POST #59 How can you make seven an even number?
Just take away the "s"! Report 8points POST #60 A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't." Report 8points POST #61 What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
"HDMI." Report 7points POST #62 What kind of car runs on leaves?
An autumn-mobile! Report 7points POST #63 What do you call a hippie's wife?
A Mississippi! Report 7points POST #64 What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
"Graaaaaaaains!" Report 7points POST #65 How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents. Report 7points POST #66 What's green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree?
A pool table. Report 7points POST #67 Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent. Report 7points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Because they're extinct. 1 1point reply #68 Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes?
Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet. Report 7points POST #69 Where do mansplainers get their water?
From a well, actually. Report 7points POST #70 What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe, damn it! Breathe!" Report 7points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago 0 0points reply #71 Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. Report 7points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Loll 0 0points reply #72 My dad's answer to everything is alcohol. He doesn't drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles. Report 7points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, alcohol is a solution. 1 1point reply #73 Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
Because it was too tired. Report 7points POST Dave the English guy. Dave the English guy. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Two-tired? 2 2points reply #74 A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. Report 7points POST #75 Where did the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies. Report 7points POST #76 What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast. Report 7points POST #77 Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference. Report 7points POST #78 Did you hear about the kid napping at school?
It's fine, he eventually woke up! Report 7points POST #79 Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot. Report 7points POST #80 What did the drummer call his two twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two. Report 7points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #81 What do you call cheese that works out?
Shredded. Report 7points POST #82 Where do spiders seek health advice?
WebMD. Report 6points POST #83 Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything. Report 6points POST #84 I'd like to go to Holland someday.
Wooden shoe? Report 6points POST #85 Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?
It was about a weak back! Report 6points POST #86 What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?
Corny! Report 6points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Classic! 0 0points reply #87 Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze! Report 6points POST #88 What do you tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast! Report 6points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I actually heard just the other day that this came from the "leg" they used to open and close the curtain. The hope was there would be so many curtain calls that it would cause that leg to break. 0 0points reply #89 Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge. Report 6points POST #90 My favorite word is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #91 What did one dish say to the other?
Dinner is on me! Report 6points POST #92 Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months. Report 6points POST #93 I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them. Report 6points POST #94 What are the biggest enemies of caterpillars?
Dogerpillers. Report 6points POST #95 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Because he always gets a hole in one! Report 6points POST #96 What to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable. Report 6points POST #97 What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto! Report 5points POST #98 What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon aid! Report 5points POST #99 What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi Cliff! Report 5points POST #100 When's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurtie! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #101 What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends! Report 5points POST #102 What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
"Show me the honey!" Report 5points POST #103 What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad! Report 5points POST #104 What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
"Robin, get in the car." Report 5points POST #105 Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless! Report 5points POST #106 What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! Report 5points POST #107 What's red and shaped like a bucket?
A blue bucket painted red. Report 5points POST Dave the English guy. Dave the English guy. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Bu-bu-but, why not ‘ a red bucket’ ? 1 1point reply #108 What don't ants get sick?
They have anty-bodies. Report 5points POST #109 What does a house wear?
Address! Report 5points POST Jessica Johnson Jessica Johnson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Asked fiance this question. He responded with propper ties hahahahahahah 2 2points reply #110 Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #111 What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear! Report 5points POST #112 Where did the computer go dancing?
The disc-o! Report 5points POST #113 Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed his space. Report 5points POST #114 There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it? Report 5points POST #115 It's hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They take things so literally. Report 5points POST Shelby P Shelby P Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago the punch line is "they take everything, literally." ugh!!!! 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #116 Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it. Report 5points POST #117 How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?
Ten-ants. Report 5points POST #118 How do you organize a space-themed hurrah?
You planet. Report 5points POST #119 I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me?
"Stay out of those places!" Report 5points POST #120 What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #121 What's the award for being best dentist?
A little plaque. Report 5points POST #122 What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you. Report 5points POST #123 What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time. Report 5points POST #124 What did the lawyer wear to court?
A lawsuit! Report 5points POST #125 What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
Well, now, all of them. Report 5points POST #126 Why did the teacher love the whiteboard?
She just thought it was remarkable! Report 5points POST #127 What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
A stick. Report 5points POST #128 Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well. Report 5points POST #129 What's Mozart up to these days?
Decomposing. Report 5points POST #130 How do you make an egg roll?
You push it. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) #131 Two guys with a monocle fighting makes a spectacle. Report 5points POST #132 How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tube a glue. Report 5points POST #133 Why was the math teacher late to work?
She took the rhombus. Report 4points POST #134 A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel. Report 4points POST #135 What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick?
Put it on my bill! Report 4points POST #136 What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef! Report 4points POST #137 What do bees do if they need a ride?
Wait at the buzz stop! Report 4points POST #138 I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. Report 4points POST #139 What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs! Report 4points POST #140 What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows. Report 4points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs #141 What do you call it when one cow spies on another?
A steak out! Report 4points POST #142 Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder! Report 4points POST #143 It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad. It's a faux pa. Report 4points POST #144 I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild. Report 4points POST #145 Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam. Report 4points POST #146 When is your door not actually a door?
When it's ajar. Report 4points POST #147 What do you call a dangerous sun shower?
A rain of terror! Report 4points POST #148 How does your feline shop?
By reading a catalogue. Report 4points POST #149 Who can jump higher than a house?
Pretty much anyone. Report 4points POST #150 What do an apple and an orange have in common?
Neither one can drive. Report 4points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's like trying to compare apples and oranges. 0 0points reply #151 This sweet ride has four wheels and flies. It's a garbage truck. Report 4points POST #152 Wait, you don't want to hear a joke about potassium?
K. Report 4points POST #153 What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?
A chipmunk! Report 3points POST #154 Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent. Report 3points POST #155 Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky?
He wanted to stake his claim. Report 3points POST #156 What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
"It's not you, it's a-me!" Report 3points POST #157 What do you call HIJKLMNO?
H20! Report 3points POST #158 A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you START ANYTHING!" Report 3points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Writer, BoredPanda staff Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.
Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything! Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Leave a comment POST Nuage Laboratoire Nuage Laboratoire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Text 1 1point reply Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago There's two olives sitting on a table. One falls off and the other leans over and asks "Are you OK?" The other says "Olive". 0 0points reply POST Nuage Laboratoire Nuage Laboratoire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Text 1 1point reply Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago There's two olives sitting on a table. One falls off and the other leans over and asks "Are you OK?" The other says "Olive". 0 0points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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158 Bad Jokes Of The Day That Are So Lame They re Hilarious
Saimonas Lukošius andJustė Kairytė - Barkauskienė
Publish Not your original work? Add source Same as with anything in life, not all jokes are made equal. Some are deep and intellectual, others are sheepishly funny, and some deliver the most majestical wordplays. Still, there's one more category that is as controversial as Prince was in the '80s - bad jokes. Which, in their own right, can also be divided into two categories. Bad jokes that are just terrible, and bad jokes that are funny. Mostly because they are so blatantly lame, and you wouldn't expect someone to come up with such a travesty. But hey, there's no need to be humble here - we like these really bad jokes and would like to share them with you too. So, this is our compendium called Bad Jokes Of The Day. Why Bad Jokes Of The Day? Well, because these babies should be dosed one per day. Again, why? Well, because these funny bad jokes are like nothing you've seen before. They will touch you in the deepest places that haven't been tickled by amusement in a long while. They will coax a burst of laughter out of you so loud that your neighbors might think you've got your hands on a canister of laughing gas. And well, these lame jokes should be cherished, and a day for each is the perfect amount of time. So, let's skip straight to the silly jokes, shall we? They are, just as usual, a bit further down, and once you get there, you should give your vote for the worst joke you encounter. After that, there's only one more thing left to do, and it is to share this article with your friends, of course! This post may include affiliate links. #1 Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow. Report 39points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Let's appreciate they are still able to blink. 5 5points reply View more comments #2 I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Report 33points POST Nicole Bryan Nicole Bryan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Ok this is one of my favorites, the first time I heard this one I started laughing out loud from the mental image I created 3 3points reply View more comments #3 Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs. It's also their biggest import. Report 28points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago The product runs a huge chunk of their economy, amazing. 2 2points reply View more comments #4 I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over. Report 21points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago What gave it away? 1 1point reply #5 I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back. Report 21points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Some pirate grammar I sea 5 5points reply View more comments #6 I watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming. Report 20points POST TheAquarius1978 TheAquarius1978 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Ba dum tsssss 6 6points reply #7 I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves. Report 19points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just the dolls? 0 0points reply #8 What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. Report 19points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago My mind pictured some special breed of fungus before i got to the brick part. What's wrong with me? 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #9 I'm really excited for the next autopsy club. It's open Mike night! Report 17points POST Sparkysheep Sparkysheep Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Lol! The first one that really made me laugh XD! 2 2points reply #10 I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise. Report 17points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This one deserves to be higher 1 1point reply #11 Why do ghosts love elevators?
Because it lifts their spirits. Report 17points POST Iconic Iconic Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Bdmtss 1 1point reply #12 What did the clock do when it was hungry?
It went back four seconds. Report 16points POST Will Fussell Will Fussell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago bdmtsss 0 0points reply View more comments #13 I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find. Report 15points POST #14 What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but its flag is a big plus! Report 15points POST #15 Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion! Report 15points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago TRUE THO 1 1point reply View more comments #16 What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?
Artificial Swedener. Report 15points POST String cheese muppet String cheese muppet Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago So that’s what’s really in those packets… 3 3points reply View more comments #17 Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use. Report 15points POST XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just to make sure everyone knows; Boxing Chess is a thing. 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener. Report 15points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago ?? 1 1point reply #19 My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, it's also terrible. Report 13points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I don't get this? 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it. Report 13points POST Alditekim Alditekim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago And when they do, it's equally funny to everyone. 0 0points reply View more comments #21 What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels. Report 13points POST Eleanor Green Eleanor Green Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Somehow, this is my favorite. 4 4points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22 What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt. Report 12points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That's head on visual 1 1point reply View more comments #23 I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal. Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want. Report 12points POST #24 I'm a geologist, I don't take things for granite. Report 12points POST Kate Kate Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I think you're full of schist. 2 2points reply View more comments #25 What do you call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool?
Rock pay-for scissors. Report 11points POST Electra Complex Electra Complex Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Shoot! 0 0points reply View more comments #26 What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!" Report 11points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago 0 0points reply #27 I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. Never again. Report 11points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Indeed 1 1point reply #28 I like to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding. Report 11points POST Vix Spiderthrust Vix Spiderthrust Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago This was a Jeremy Hardy joke, except instead of "calling for pudding" he said "f****d off my face on morphine" 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #29 How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles. Report 11points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago An oldie but a goodie 2 2points reply View more comments #30 What did Blackbeard the pirate say when he turned eighty?
"Aye, matey." Report 11points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Just in case any thinks this, Blackbeard didn't live to turn 80. I know this is a joke, but just making sure 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #31 What do you call a cat with no legs?
You can call it whatever you want, it's still not coming. Report 11points POST James James Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Same applies to a cat with legs. 7 7points reply View more comments #32 I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it. Report 10points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, now I know what I'm doing today ? 1 1point reply View more comments #33 Why are social media influencers afraid when they go to the woods alone at night?
They're constantly being followed. Report 10points POST Peign Gaming Peign Gaming Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Meh 1 1point reply #34 I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around. Report 10points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Loll! 0 0points reply #35 Ever tried to eat a clock?
It's time-consuming. Report 10points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago And once you're done eating it just makes your mid section larger. What a big waist of time. 0 0points reply #36 How do you feel when there's no coffee?
Depresso. Report 10points POST #37 What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?
The guardians of the Galaxy. Report 10points POST #38 Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it. Report 10points POST #39 Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Because it was soda pressing! Report 9points POST Alditekim Alditekim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I thought it's because the forklift fell over. I saw it in fail army 1 1point reply View more comments #40 What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
"Oh sheet!" Report 9points POST Duesvolent90 Duesvolent90 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Don't worry, I got you covered buddy...sigh 0 0points reply #41 I put my root beer into a square glass. Now it's just beer. Report 9points POST #42 There are three types of people in the world. Those of us who are good at math and those of us who aren't. Report 9points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) That confused me at first. I love math 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #43 My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she wrote in her diary. Report 8points POST #44 Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag! Report 8points POST #45 Why are there gates around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in! Report 8points POST #46 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they're bagels! Report 8points POST What even is this What even is this Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago That would be my first time buttering a bird, I guess 1 1point reply #47 Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands. Report 8points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Lol 0 0points reply #48 They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket. They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants. Report 8points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Too soon. 0 0points reply #49 My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo. Report 8points POST B.Nelson B.Nelson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Dude... 2 2points reply #50 I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me. Report 8points POST #51 What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" Report 8points POST #52 A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50. Report 8points POST #53 Why don't crabs donate?
Because they're shellfish. Report 8points POST #54 What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment. Report 8points POST #55 What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you. Report 8points POST Peign Gaming Peign Gaming Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago "Smell where I've been!" 0 0points reply #56 What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Cashew! Report 8points POST #57 What's the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle. Report 8points POST #58 Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose. Report 8points POST #59 How can you make seven an even number?
Just take away the "s"! Report 8points POST #60 A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange." So I replied, "No it doesn't." Report 8points POST #61 What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
"HDMI." Report 7points POST #62 What kind of car runs on leaves?
An autumn-mobile! Report 7points POST #63 What do you call a hippie's wife?
A Mississippi! Report 7points POST #64 What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
"Graaaaaaaains!" Report 7points POST #65 How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents. Report 7points POST #66 What's green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree?
A pool table. Report 7points POST #67 Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent. Report 7points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Because they're extinct. 1 1point reply #68 Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes?
Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet. Report 7points POST #69 Where do mansplainers get their water?
From a well, actually. Report 7points POST #70 What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe, damn it! Breathe!" Report 7points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago 0 0points reply #71 Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. Report 7points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Loll 0 0points reply #72 My dad's answer to everything is alcohol. He doesn't drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles. Report 7points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Well, alcohol is a solution. 1 1point reply #73 Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
Because it was too tired. Report 7points POST Dave the English guy. Dave the English guy. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Two-tired? 2 2points reply #74 A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. Report 7points POST #75 Where did the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies. Report 7points POST #76 What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast. Report 7points POST #77 Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumference. Report 7points POST #78 Did you hear about the kid napping at school?
It's fine, he eventually woke up! Report 7points POST #79 Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot. Report 7points POST #80 What did the drummer call his two twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two. Report 7points POST See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #81 What do you call cheese that works out?
Shredded. Report 7points POST #82 Where do spiders seek health advice?
WebMD. Report 6points POST #83 Why can't you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything. Report 6points POST #84 I'd like to go to Holland someday.
Wooden shoe? Report 6points POST #85 Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine?
It was about a weak back! Report 6points POST #86 What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?
Corny! Report 6points POST dxisy xo dxisy xo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Classic! 0 0points reply #87 Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze! Report 6points POST #88 What do you tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast! Report 6points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I actually heard just the other day that this came from the "leg" they used to open and close the curtain. The hope was there would be so many curtain calls that it would cause that leg to break. 0 0points reply #89 Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge. Report 6points POST #90 My favorite word is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue. Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #91 What did one dish say to the other?
Dinner is on me! Report 6points POST #92 Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar?
They each got six months. Report 6points POST #93 I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them. Report 6points POST #94 What are the biggest enemies of caterpillars?
Dogerpillers. Report 6points POST #95 Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Because he always gets a hole in one! Report 6points POST #96 What to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable. Report 6points POST #97 What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto! Report 5points POST #98 What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon aid! Report 5points POST #99 What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi Cliff! Report 5points POST #100 When's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurtie! Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #101 What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends! Report 5points POST #102 What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?
"Show me the honey!" Report 5points POST #103 What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad! Report 5points POST #104 What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
"Robin, get in the car." Report 5points POST #105 Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless! Report 5points POST #106 What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! Report 5points POST #107 What's red and shaped like a bucket?
A blue bucket painted red. Report 5points POST Dave the English guy. Dave the English guy. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Bu-bu-but, why not ‘ a red bucket’ ? 1 1point reply #108 What don't ants get sick?
They have anty-bodies. Report 5points POST #109 What does a house wear?
Address! Report 5points POST Jessica Johnson Jessica Johnson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Asked fiance this question. He responded with propper ties hahahahahahah 2 2points reply #110 Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #111 What's the dumbest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear! Report 5points POST #112 Where did the computer go dancing?
The disc-o! Report 5points POST #113 Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed his space. Report 5points POST #114 There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it? Report 5points POST #115 It's hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They take things so literally. Report 5points POST Shelby P Shelby P Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago the punch line is "they take everything, literally." ugh!!!! 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #116 Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it. Report 5points POST #117 How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?
Ten-ants. Report 5points POST #118 How do you organize a space-themed hurrah?
You planet. Report 5points POST #119 I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me?
"Stay out of those places!" Report 5points POST #120 What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #121 What's the award for being best dentist?
A little plaque. Report 5points POST #122 What did the finger say to the thumb?
I'm in glove with you. Report 5points POST #123 What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time. Report 5points POST #124 What did the lawyer wear to court?
A lawsuit! Report 5points POST #125 What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
Well, now, all of them. Report 5points POST #126 Why did the teacher love the whiteboard?
She just thought it was remarkable! Report 5points POST #127 What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
A stick. Report 5points POST #128 Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well. Report 5points POST #129 What's Mozart up to these days?
Decomposing. Report 5points POST #130 How do you make an egg roll?
You push it. Report 5points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) #131 Two guys with a monocle fighting makes a spectacle. Report 5points POST #132 How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tube a glue. Report 5points POST #133 Why was the math teacher late to work?
She took the rhombus. Report 4points POST #134 A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel. Report 4points POST #135 What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick?
Put it on my bill! Report 4points POST #136 What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef! Report 4points POST #137 What do bees do if they need a ride?
Wait at the buzz stop! Report 4points POST #138 I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. Report 4points POST #139 What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs! Report 4points POST #140 What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows. Report 4points POST See Also on Bored Panda 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs #141 What do you call it when one cow spies on another?
A steak out! Report 4points POST #142 Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder! Report 4points POST #143 It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad. It's a faux pa. Report 4points POST #144 I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild. Report 4points POST #145 Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam. Report 4points POST #146 When is your door not actually a door?
When it's ajar. Report 4points POST #147 What do you call a dangerous sun shower?
A rain of terror! Report 4points POST #148 How does your feline shop?
By reading a catalogue. Report 4points POST #149 Who can jump higher than a house?
Pretty much anyone. Report 4points POST #150 What do an apple and an orange have in common?
Neither one can drive. Report 4points POST Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago It's like trying to compare apples and oranges. 0 0points reply #151 This sweet ride has four wheels and flies. It's a garbage truck. Report 4points POST #152 Wait, you don't want to hear a joke about potassium?
K. Report 4points POST #153 What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?
A chipmunk! Report 3points POST #154 Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent. Report 3points POST #155 Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky?
He wanted to stake his claim. Report 3points POST #156 What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
"It's not you, it's a-me!" Report 3points POST #157 What do you call HIJKLMNO?
H20! Report 3points POST #158 A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't you START ANYTHING!" Report 3points POST Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Saimonas Lukošius Saimonas Lukošius Author, BoredPanda staff Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. Saimonas has mainly worked as a freelance graphic designer, illustrator and finds joy in anything related to visual arts. Read more » Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė Writer, BoredPanda staff Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.
Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything! Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like 80 Of The Funniest Puns Ever Akvile Petraityte 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust Saimonas Lukošius It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up Ieva Pečiulytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Leave a comment POST Nuage Laboratoire Nuage Laboratoire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Text 1 1point reply Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago There's two olives sitting on a table. One falls off and the other leans over and asks "Are you OK?" The other says "Olive". 0 0points reply POST Nuage Laboratoire Nuage Laboratoire Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Text 1 1point reply Eat Dirt Crow Eat Dirt Crow Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago There's two olives sitting on a table. One falls off and the other leans over and asks "Are you OK?" The other says "Olive". 0 0points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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