Mother Freaks Out After Finding Out How Much Her Childfree Cousin Spent On A Vacation, Calls Her 'Disgusting' Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Mother Freaks Out After Finding Out How Much Her Childfree Cousin Spent On A Vacation Calls Her ‘ Disgusting’ Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 55points 3.6K Parenting, People1 month ago
Mother Freaks Out After Finding Out How Much Her Childfree Cousin Spent On A Vacation Calls Her ‘ Disgusting’
Rokas Laurinavičius and
Kotryna Brašiškytė
Our family's love grounds us. It increases our confidence and self-esteem, adds more stability to life, and provides a better understanding of social interactions. But as much as Reddit user OperaJunkie would like to enjoy the company of her closest kin, she can't. At least not at the moment. To explain her situation and possibly get some support, the 26-year-old made a post on the subreddit r/Childfree, where she detailed a recent conflict with her cousin. It all started when the woman asked OperaJunkie to look after her kids. The Redditor refused because she had a vacation approaching and as the two continued talking, the cousin asked how much OperaJunkie is spending on her trip. $9,000 was the answer. And the woman was so surprised by it that she rallied the whole family against OperaJunkie, criticizing her for stupid spending. This childfree woman has been planning her dream vacation for ages and she s prepared to pay $9 000 for it
Image credits: Claire Ward (not the actual photo) But her cousin thinks it s a huge mistake since the sum could take care of multiple kids for months and months
Image credits: Marisa Howenstine (not the actual photo) Image credits: operajunkie Such conflicts might be more common than we think. A research team from Michigan State University recently discovered over one in five Michigan adults do not want children. "We found that 21.6% of adults, or about 1.7 million people, in Michigan do not want children and therefore are 'childfree.' That's more than the population of Michigan's nine largest cities," said Zachary Neal, associate professor in MSU's psychology department and co-author of the study. While the study was conducted in just one state, according to the 2021 census, Michigan is demographically similar to the United States as a whole. Because of this, Neal said, if the pattern holds up nationally, it would mean 50 to 60 million Americans are childfree. "People - especially women - who say they don't want children are often told they'll change their mind, but the study found otherwise," Jennifer Watling Neal, associate professor in the psychology department at MSU and co-author of the study, added. "People are making the decision to be childfree early in life, most often in their teens and twenties. And, it's not just young people claiming they don't want children. Women who decided in their teens to be childfree are now, on average, nearly 40 and still do not have children." Because so many people are childfree, the researchers said this group warrants more attention from the general public. "Following the U.S. Supreme Court's overturning of Roe v. Wade, a large number of Americans are now at risk of being forced to have children despite not wanting them," Watling Neal said. As the post went viral its author provided more information about her life and family in the comments
While it's impossible to say who is right and who is wrong in this situation from an outsider's point of view, people noted that some things (like the use of the word "breeder") might indicate both parties crossed each other's line. Without pointing any fingers, it's interesting to note that Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon, USC Marshall School professor and author of Comebacks at Work: Using Conversation to Master Confrontation, estimates that 75% of how people treat us is under our own control. Because of this she advocates taking a different approach if you want to experience new, more positive results with these types of conflicts in the future. "Communication is like chess where every move one person makes influences the choices of the other," Reardon said. "A good rule of thumb is to not say what you would normally say in response to any provocation. If you usually meet a challenge with a challenge, try asking a question instead. If you let someone go on and on and that leads to anger, link something you have to say to his or her topic and then change to another one." If you think you're being blamed for something, instead of getting your back up, try saying, "There's some truth to that" or "I hadn't thought of it that way but I see your point." In other words, tweak what you normally do. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Rokas Laurinavičius Rokas Laurinavičius Writer, BoredPanda staff Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 235 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to. Read more » Kotryna Brašiškytė Kotryna Brašiškytė Author, BoredPanda staff Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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BUT. To be honest. If someone uses words like "breeder" in the actice vocabulary when discussing about other fellow human beings, that is bit a red flag.. 56 56points reply H05 H05 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Right? Maybe the reactions of the family have more to do with her attitude than her choices. 21 21points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Came to say the same, plus she could just say "new york times author"... but no, "new york times best selling author" 11 11points reply MiriPanda MiriPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She isn't a journalist. Newspapers have lists of best selling authors, and she is on one of the NYT. 7 7points reply Bryn Bryn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago except to be a "new york times author" as you put, you have to be best selling. 4 4points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago (edited) So less reason for her to have to explicitly shout that out. And @Bryn that's how she referred to herself, it's not how I'm choosing to label her 0 0points reply AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Please. If I made the NYT bestseller list, I'd probably hire town criers. As for calling the cousin a breeder, I suspect it's probably out frustration. The hints about needing a new fridge may have tipped her over the edge. 2 2points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago To be fair, subreddits often develop their own accepted terminology and "breeder" is one used commonly in r/childfree. I agree that it has a disparaging tone, but it's hard to know if OP actually means it that way or is just obeying the conventions of the sub. 9 9points reply Cyndielouwhoo Cyndielouwhoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I thought it was referring to the sister's profession, like a horse breeder or something. 2 2points reply Scott Crowe Scott Crowe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) There's a big difference between an actual "parent' and a "breeder". Learn it. -3 -3points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Instead of being patronisingly rude, why not explain the difference oh guru? 6 6points reply Solar_Eclipse Solar_Eclipse Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Generally, a breeder is someone who has a lot of kids, usually well out of the realm that they can afford, and continues to have kids, and, rather than truly taking care of them, attempts to p awn them off on others as much as possible. 9 9points reply Bex Bex Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago In which case her usage was accurate. 4 4points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago It is still a derogatory term, whether it's the definition above or the one used in the gay community. However, this woman has TWO children and there is nothing to say she regularly leaves her children on others. And it's pretty clear she's using it as an insult - her entire thread is full of insults 6 6points reply Keith O Keith O Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanted attention, but won't say who you are. You called your cousin a "breeder", that's a pretty disgusting term in itself. I couldn't care less what you make or pay for vacations, but you clearly needed validation and went to reddit to find it an brag......give me a break. 33 33points reply Eve Sonnya Eve Sonnya Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Dont be jealous. And a breeder is a term for people that make children they cant afford. And then they expect others to help them take care of them. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Actually, another definition of 'breeder' is where it's used among the gay community as a derogatory term for heterosexual people. Noone is being jealous, the way OPs post is written gives off very "bragging" vibes and is clearly biased. 8 8points reply Serendipity911 Serendipity911 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I hate the term breeder too but clearly almost everyone replying is very jealous. -1 -1point reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago I can tell you 100% I'm not jealous 3 3points reply Tamra Tamra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I don't think anyone is jealous of this woman. Good on her for her success, she should absolutely enjoy it. However, use of the term breeder and her needy grab for validation is fairly pathetic. 6 6points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago I agree to most of the comments. Yes, you get harsh comments for being childfree at say what 35+. Usually they will leave twentysomethings alone. But i seriously dislike how she‘s insulting everyone mentioned. Breeder? Loser Boyfriend? Just mean. 26 26points reply Lorna Lay Lorna Lay Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago For sure. As a childfree woman in her thirties, I get it pretty frequently, and sometimes people with kids do get a tad entitled with me in terms of paying for things or providing free childcare. But to be honest, it seems like the judgement in OP’s case goes both ways. If you don’t wanna be treated poorly for your choices, stop talking sh*t about other people for theirs. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago agreed. Same for me. The comments started, when i first hit my 30s. I remember everyone saying, how i was still young and had so much time left when i was still in my twenties. suddenly i turned 30 and everyone‘s opion changed . 1 1point reply Load More Comments POST Jyri Hakola Jyri Hakola Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago No one shall judge your selections. BUT. To be honest. If someone uses words like "breeder" in the actice vocabulary when discussing about other fellow human beings, that is bit a red flag.. 56 56points reply H05 H05 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Right? Maybe the reactions of the family have more to do with her attitude than her choices. 21 21points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Came to say the same, plus she could just say "new york times author"... but no, "new york times best selling author" 11 11points reply MiriPanda MiriPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago She isn't a journalist. Newspapers have lists of best selling authors, and she is on one of the NYT. 7 7points reply Bryn Bryn Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago except to be a "new york times author" as you put, you have to be best selling. 4 4points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago (edited) So less reason for her to have to explicitly shout that out. And @Bryn that's how she referred to herself, it's not how I'm choosing to label her 0 0points reply AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Please. If I made the NYT bestseller list, I'd probably hire town criers. As for calling the cousin a breeder, I suspect it's probably out frustration. The hints about needing a new fridge may have tipped her over the edge. 2 2points reply Honu Honu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago To be fair, subreddits often develop their own accepted terminology and "breeder" is one used commonly in r/childfree. I agree that it has a disparaging tone, but it's hard to know if OP actually means it that way or is just obeying the conventions of the sub. 9 9points reply Cyndielouwhoo Cyndielouwhoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I thought it was referring to the sister's profession, like a horse breeder or something. 2 2points reply Scott Crowe Scott Crowe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) There's a big difference between an actual "parent' and a "breeder". Learn it. -3 -3points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Instead of being patronisingly rude, why not explain the difference oh guru? 6 6points reply Solar_Eclipse Solar_Eclipse Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) Generally, a breeder is someone who has a lot of kids, usually well out of the realm that they can afford, and continues to have kids, and, rather than truly taking care of them, attempts to p awn them off on others as much as possible. 9 9points reply Bex Bex Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago In which case her usage was accurate. 4 4points reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago It is still a derogatory term, whether it's the definition above or the one used in the gay community. However, this woman has TWO children and there is nothing to say she regularly leaves her children on others. And it's pretty clear she's using it as an insult - her entire thread is full of insults 6 6points reply Keith O Keith O Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanted attention, but won't say who you are. You called your cousin a "breeder", that's a pretty disgusting term in itself. I couldn't care less what you make or pay for vacations, but you clearly needed validation and went to reddit to find it an brag......give me a break. 33 33points reply Eve Sonnya Eve Sonnya Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago Dont be jealous. And a breeder is a term for people that make children they cant afford. And then they expect others to help them take care of them. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago Actually, another definition of 'breeder' is where it's used among the gay community as a derogatory term for heterosexual people. Noone is being jealous, the way OPs post is written gives off very "bragging" vibes and is clearly biased. 8 8points reply Serendipity911 Serendipity911 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I hate the term breeder too but clearly almost everyone replying is very jealous. -1 -1point reply JD JD Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago I can tell you 100% I'm not jealous 3 3points reply Tamra Tamra Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago I don't think anyone is jealous of this woman. Good on her for her success, she should absolutely enjoy it. However, use of the term breeder and her needy grab for validation is fairly pathetic. 6 6points reply Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago I agree to most of the comments. Yes, you get harsh comments for being childfree at say what 35+. Usually they will leave twentysomethings alone. But i seriously dislike how she‘s insulting everyone mentioned. Breeder? Loser Boyfriend? Just mean. 26 26points reply Lorna Lay Lorna Lay Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago For sure. As a childfree woman in her thirties, I get it pretty frequently, and sometimes people with kids do get a tad entitled with me in terms of paying for things or providing free childcare. But to be honest, it seems like the judgement in OP’s case goes both ways. If you don’t wanna be treated poorly for your choices, stop talking sh*t about other people for theirs. 3 3points reply Load More Replies... Happy_Pandalover Happy_Pandalover Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago agreed. Same for me. The comments started, when i first hit my 30s. I remember everyone saying, how i was still young and had so much time left when i was still in my twenties. suddenly i turned 30 and everyone‘s opion changed . 1 1point reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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