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Man Slammed For Being Bitter Years After Brother Married His Childhood Crush

Jurgita Dominauskaitė and
Saulė Tolstych
Your crush not liking you back is hurtful, but you can live with that, because nothing good comes out of forcing out affection from someone. Having your crush taken by someone who knows about your feelings is a whole different story and the bitter taste of it can haunt you for the rest of your life. Or at least a decade, like what happened to Reddit user Routine-Let-2090 who confided in his older brother about his crush but he turned around and married her. The younger brother is still mad about it and refuses to be friends with his now SIL, even though they were close when they were younger. More info: Reddit

Man distanced himself from his childhood crush who entered the family through his brother and refused to be her comfort even after her dad s death

Image credits: babystumpy (not the actual photo) The Original Poster (OP) is 25 years old now, has a girlfriend and feels happy in his relationship, but he is still mad at his older brother Liam who started dating his childhood friend Emily after he told him that he had a crush on the girl. Actually, the OP went to his brother for advice, because Liam had more experience with girls and the younger brother was a little awkward and never made a move towards Emily.

The OP had a crush on Emily since he was a child but never tried to ask her out although he went to his brother to ask for advice

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 That didn't stop Liam from advancing towards Emily himself and the OP was very upset. When he found out that Liam and Emily were a couple, he wanted to distance himself from the girl, which was kind of hard to do given that they went to the same classes and worked the same shifts. It became even harder when the couple announced that they were having a baby, which meant that Emily would forever stay in the family. The OP decided to transfer to a college in another state, didn't attend his brother's wedding and distanced himself from his niece.

So he was not expecting to find out that Liam and Emily started dating

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 The OP claims that he has completely moved on and he doesn't think Emily owes him a relationship or would want to be with her, but it took time and during that time, the two of them have not been as close friends as before, so they kind of drifted apart. And while the man wasn't that mad at Emily, he really feels a grudge towards his older brother to this day and they aren't close whatsoever. All of this time, the OP has tried to be polite, buy gifts for his niece and not cause drama, but it seems that Emily remembered what good friends the two of them were in the past and turned to him for comfort after her dad died.

The OP tried very hard to escape from Emily but that didn t work out because she got pregnant and later married his brother

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 Image credits: Alison Groves (not the actual photo) Emily's dad wasn't around, but the woman still loved him and really wanted that kind of relationship, so when he died, it was a painful loss. The OP knew about her situation with her dad and how she desired that family dynamic, but despite their close friendship in the past, the man wasn't much of a comfort. It was a hard time for Emily and she needed a friend who would understand her. She thought the OP could be that person because they had known each other for so long, but even though the man allowed his former crush to cry, he wasn't giving anything much more than that.

The younger brother was never as close to Emily or Liam since then so he found it strange when his SIL came to him for comfort after her dad s death

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 It threw Emily off and she asked why he was being so cold, so he told her that she shouldn't expect him to be her comfort person. On top of that, he added that they were close just because they were young and now she has a husband, so if she needs a shoulder to cry on, going to Liam is more appropriate. Such hostility hurt Emily and word spread around the family, most of which thought that what the OP said was heartless not only because it was spiteful, but also because Emily's dad had just died and she was emotionally distraught.

However she noticed that her childhood friend was rather cold to her and he didn t hide the fact that he wasn t too happy about being her comfort person

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 The young man felt that he was just setting a boundary which helped him to retain his sanity and was confused why everyone expected him to keep being friends with Emily. People in the comments helped him understand that how he acted was not very nice and in an update, he admitted that the way he said it and the timing to say it was awful. Although, he didn't regret being honest. Furthermore, he didn't regret staying away from his niece and he still hates his brother to the point that he is planning to cut ties with him as soon as their parents pass away.

Emily took that to heart and when the family found out that the OP was so cruel to a family member that once was his good friend called him a jerk

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090

The OP was pretty confused why he was expected to be the emotional support for Emily when they weren t friends anymore and she had a husband

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo) Redditors shared their observations about the situation and actually thought that the problem might be too serious for an online forum to discuss. They deemed the OP to be the jerk in the situation. First of all, ignoring your niece because she is the baby of your high school crush and your older brother isn't healthy. Also, he never asked Emily out, so he can't expect her not to say yes to other people who did. Finally, she is his SIL, so she is family and it isn't unusual to seek support from family members, especially if your friendship dates back to high school.

People in the comments thought the OP was a jerk for crossing over all those years of friendship and not offering comfort when Emily needed it

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090

They were saying that being so mad at his brother over a childhood crush was taking it too far and not healthy

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 Some people admitted that his brother shouldn't have pursued a girl his little brother liked and there were people who didn't blame the OP for being so cold towards Emily, but being so bitter all of these years later doesn't make him look good. On the other hand, several popular comments held the NTA judgment, saying that Emily should have realized they weren't friends anymore because the OP was purposefully distancing himself from her and because they didn't keep in touch all of these years, he doesn't owe her emotional support.

While others supported the OP because he didn t owe Emily anything as they drifted apart as friends over the years

Image credits: Routine-Let-2090 What do you think about this situation? Was the OP acting cruel because he and Emily were once friends and that should mean something? Or do you think that if the man doesn't want to show affection to his childhood friend because he doesn't feel close to her, it is a healthy boundary to create? We are curious to know what your thoughts were after reading the story. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jurgita Dominauskaitė Follow Unfollow Jurgita Dominauskaitė Writer, BoredPanda staff Jurgita is a content creator at Bored Panda. She studied Lithuanian Philology and Italian Language, but it was not enough to feed her hunger for knowledge so she also got a Master’s degree in Translation.

She is a positive and hard-working panda. In her spare time this panda likes to read, learn new languages and go for long walks. Her favorite writer is Umberto Eco and she will trade bamboo for strawberries. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Girlfriend's Rude Italian-American Family Make Fun Of Her Boyfriend, Are Surprised When He Roasts Them With Fluent Italian Ieva Pečiulytė “What’s The Darkest Secret You Found Out About A Family Member?”: 35 People Share Heavy Stories Mindaugas Balčiauskas 50 Times People Surprised Family Members In Funny And Ridiculous Ways They Didn't See Coming Simona Kinderytė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Join the conversation POST Elea Bell Elea Bell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago NAH, just a guy who had really crappy timing. He probably should have told her that he didn't want to be her friend anymore a long time ago, but I can't blame him for feeling awkward around his brother's family. 53 53points reply Supernatural fan666 Supernatural fan666 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago 100% agreed!! 12 12points reply Load More Replies... Question everything Question everything Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago (edited) This guy is lying to himself if he thinks he's over her. The reason he doesn't want to be friends with her (and keep the distance from the brother) all these years later, is because it still hurts him to see her. When you love, and I mean LOVE, someone as a teenager, nothing after that will compare to it, and if that love is unrequited it could take decades to get over it. The OP still longs for the what-ifs. By the looks of it, the brother loves the girl so it was not a fling to spite the OP. Hopefully one day he will realise that and will be able to move on and be truly over it. I agree with you, no AH here. Some people will never know the kind of love the OP is talking about. (Alternatively he's the AH as he had many opportunities to tell her he doesn't want to be friends but chose the moment that would hurt her the most. We don't know this guy's personality or the brother's POV) ETA Some people are ok with their ex partners to be with their friends or siblings, we are all different. I would bite the bullet but not everybody can. Love is strange. Also this story was flagged as spam on reddit. 1 1point reply MsLou MsLou Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) There's a lot to unpack here...I do think he needs to speak to a therapist. I definitely understand the resentment and distrust with his brother. 47 47points reply AR AR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago But why? OP didn’t have a claim on Emily no matter what his feelings were. I had a big crush once on a guy, my friend knew, but ended up dating him. Was I upset at the time? Yes. But I didn’t have a claim to him and it turned out he simply wasn’t attracted to me like that. I got over it. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... Maryam Abdo Maryam Abdo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago The difference is if you asked your friend to be a wing woman for you. Cuz that's essentially the betrayal. It's not so much I LIKED HER FIRST! but more HOW COULD YOU SLEEP WITH THE GIRL I TOLD YOU I LIKED? Like, for prom, if I showed you a dress that I'm going to buy but hadn't yet secured the funds for it (like OP with his courage etc) but then I find out you ended up buying the dress I wanted?! (Thus is on the basis that you already had a dress before and I knew). In the end, I'm not going to rip the dress off you or try to go buy the same dress too. The dress is Emily. I'd just never talk to you again and we'd never be friends again. Cuz that's betrayal. I can't trust you on something small that to a senior hs found enormous. And OP can't trust his brother with his heart. Sure they could reconcile later as brothers but Emily is no longer the point of the matter. 4 4points reply Laugh or not Laugh or not Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) She didn't owe him a romántico/sexual relationship when they were teenager. He doesn't owe her a friendship when they are adults. And not because she choosed someone else, just because nobody is entitled to any kind of relationship. Being someone's emotional support is draining and he cut off the relationship years ago as much as he could. His timing is not the best, but he is not wrong. 44 44points reply Azure Adams Azure Adams Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago *chose 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Laugh or not Laugh or not Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago Chose choose chosen. Turns out we were both wrong. Her choice was in the past, not present. 3 3points reply BlueDanube BlueDanube Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago AH -3 -3points reply Load More Comments POST Elea Bell Elea Bell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago NAH, just a guy who had really crappy timing. He probably should have told her that he didn't want to be her friend anymore a long time ago, but I can't blame him for feeling awkward around his brother's family. 53 53points reply Supernatural fan666 Supernatural fan666 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 month ago 100% agreed!! 12 12points reply Load More Replies... Question everything Question everything Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago (edited) This guy is lying to himself if he thinks he's over her. The reason he doesn't want to be friends with her (and keep the distance from the brother) all these years later, is because it still hurts him to see her. When you love, and I mean LOVE, someone as a teenager, nothing after that will compare to it, and if that love is unrequited it could take decades to get over it. The OP still longs for the what-ifs. By the looks of it, the brother loves the girl so it was not a fling to spite the OP. Hopefully one day he will realise that and will be able to move on and be truly over it. I agree with you, no AH here. Some people will never know the kind of love the OP is talking about. (Alternatively he's the AH as he had many opportunities to tell her he doesn't want to be friends but chose the moment that would hurt her the most. We don't know this guy's personality or the brother's POV) ETA Some people are ok with their ex partners to be with their friends or siblings, we are all different. I would bite the bullet but not everybody can. Love is strange. Also this story was flagged as spam on reddit. 1 1point reply MsLou MsLou Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) There's a lot to unpack here...I do think he needs to speak to a therapist. I definitely understand the resentment and distrust with his brother. 47 47points reply AR AR Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago But why? OP didn’t have a claim on Emily no matter what his feelings were. I had a big crush once on a guy, my friend knew, but ended up dating him. Was I upset at the time? Yes. But I didn’t have a claim to him and it turned out he simply wasn’t attracted to me like that. I got over it. 5 5points reply Load More Replies... Maryam Abdo Maryam Abdo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago The difference is if you asked your friend to be a wing woman for you. Cuz that's essentially the betrayal. It's not so much I LIKED HER FIRST! but more HOW COULD YOU SLEEP WITH THE GIRL I TOLD YOU I LIKED? Like, for prom, if I showed you a dress that I'm going to buy but hadn't yet secured the funds for it (like OP with his courage etc) but then I find out you ended up buying the dress I wanted?! (Thus is on the basis that you already had a dress before and I knew). In the end, I'm not going to rip the dress off you or try to go buy the same dress too. The dress is Emily. I'd just never talk to you again and we'd never be friends again. Cuz that's betrayal. I can't trust you on something small that to a senior hs found enormous. And OP can't trust his brother with his heart. Sure they could reconcile later as brothers but Emily is no longer the point of the matter. 4 4points reply Laugh or not Laugh or not Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago (edited) She didn't owe him a romántico/sexual relationship when they were teenager. He doesn't owe her a friendship when they are adults. And not because she choosed someone else, just because nobody is entitled to any kind of relationship. Being someone's emotional support is draining and he cut off the relationship years ago as much as he could. His timing is not the best, but he is not wrong. 44 44points reply Azure Adams Azure Adams Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 month ago *chose 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Laugh or not Laugh or not Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago Chose choose chosen. Turns out we were both wrong. Her choice was in the past, not present. 3 3points reply BlueDanube BlueDanube Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 weeks ago AH -3 -3points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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