Tweet Showing How Moms Are Still Considered To Be The Default Parent Went Viral With 283k Likes
Tweet Showing How Moms Are Still Considered To Be The Default Parent Went Viral With 283k Likes Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Tweet Showing How Moms Are Still Considered To Be The Default Parent Went Viral With 283k Likes Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 34points 281 Parenting3 weeks ago
Saulė Tolstych
Young couples with children try to equally contribute to parenting, the family's financial state and chores. But it is still often assumed that the woman does the most work when it comes to children and to the home. Schools tend to call the moms by default even if the family asked to firstly contact the dad, and moms are responsible for gift buying for the child's school Christmas party. A woman on Twitter jokingly remarked that when she asked her child's classmates' dads to give her their emails for birthday party purposes, all 3 of them gave her their wives' contacts. However, people in the comments didn't take it lightly and a discussion broke out about how moms are expected to take care of organizational things. More info: Twitter
She is a positive and hard-working panda. In her spare time this panda likes to read, learn new languages and go for long walks. Her favorite writer is Umberto Eco and she will trade bamboo for strawberries. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers Denis Tymulis It’s Time For The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This June (40 Pics) Mantas Kačerauskas 50 Of The Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Are Just Trying To Get Through July Viktorija Ošikaitė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Write comments POST N Gregory N Gregory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago So we have the "men are useless" argument, the "avoids infidelity accusations" argument, the "society has defaulted to..." argument, and the "maybe they've delegated responsibilities" argument. I'd say it's some combination of all the above. No single parental interaction will be the result of the same set of circumstances as the next or previous one. And, as one commenter pointed out, it's really no one else's business. As long as the child makes it to the party/dentist/soccer practice. Push back against the societal default and let the rest go. 16 16points reply Ael Ael Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago If men say it's just agreed in their relationship that the wife takes care of these things - fine (although we might ask if they ever considered doing it otherwise, or if they just copy old patterns). But grown men telling me "I can't remember birthdays"? Boy, how do they function at their job? Telling their boss "Oh sorry, I didn't prepare for the talk I was to hold, I just can't remember dates"? No - they manage fine. 14 14points reply Gábor Molnár Gábor Molnár Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) The date when you have to do a presentation is more important than your kids nth friend's birthday. The former can get you fired and so you will lose your stable income and other benefits. The latter can be remedied by going over later and handing the gift over and apologising. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago As someone who Was barely invited to Kids birthdays i can say: but it is important to your kid to manage this. And it should not be an 'either - or' question. A grown up and parent has to handle all, Job dates, family dates and householdstuff. It is exhausting, yes, but the more for the other Person in house to do it for the others too. if you can't remember, train your brain and use a kalender (maybe your Phone). Don't let the partner Do all the brainwork, is what i am reading here from frustrated partners 3 3points reply Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I think it is often a problem of responsibilty people feel and effort they are (or not) willing to make for their family. Of course, it is much easier to not put energy in it, when the Partner is already remembering and organising stuff but it would be less stress for this caring Person, if the other did this too because then, the juggling Person can relax a bit and has not to carry All the brain load alone.... Waaaah, sorry, i am lost in what i want to say 1 1point reply Mabelbabel Mabelbabel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago My husband had sole custody of his 3 children from the time they were toddlers to their teenage years-I'm now stepmother to 3 teens (14-17). They haven't lived with their mother since they were babies, they have no contact with her. I've got a parental responsibility order meaning I can give consent for medical treatment and get involved in their schooling etc, but every year since they started school we've had the same issues. Their schools finds it impossible to understand that their mother isn't part of their lives-every single year we get asked for her contact details, her email address, they automatically default to putting her down as next of kin or first point of contact, and when we say we legally can't have her being contacted, it's like their brains collectively short circuit and they don't understand. Surely families come in so many different variations these days that there shouldn't be the automatic assumption that mother is the immediate contact person? 7 7points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I'm friends with a woman who's stepmother to a teenager. Apparently bio-Mom has serious issues, and willingly had her parental rights terminated. Before my friend married her husband, but they were a serious item, he had my friend listed as his daughter's second point of contact after him. Apparently they had some issues about, "Well, she's not officially a step-parent (yet), so she doesn't count." Even after they got married, there were some instances where ppl refused to believe that my friend had any rights insofar as her stepdaughter was concerned, even after my friend officially adopted her, and the daughter herself kept saying to anyone who'd listen, "My bio-mom is a flake. Stepmom *is* my mom, as far as I'm concerned. Please stop insisting on bio-mom's contact info, even I, her daughter, don't know what it is, nor do I care." Apparently it blew a lot of ppl's minds that Daughter didn't even want to have contact with bio-mom, apparently for a lot of very good reasons. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST N Gregory N Gregory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago So we have the "men are useless" argument, the "avoids infidelity accusations" argument, the "society has defaulted to..." argument, and the "maybe they've delegated responsibilities" argument. I'd say it's some combination of all the above. No single parental interaction will be the result of the same set of circumstances as the next or previous one. And, as one commenter pointed out, it's really no one else's business. As long as the child makes it to the party/dentist/soccer practice. Push back against the societal default and let the rest go. 16 16points reply Ael Ael Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago If men say it's just agreed in their relationship that the wife takes care of these things - fine (although we might ask if they ever considered doing it otherwise, or if they just copy old patterns). But grown men telling me "I can't remember birthdays"? Boy, how do they function at their job? Telling their boss "Oh sorry, I didn't prepare for the talk I was to hold, I just can't remember dates"? No - they manage fine. 14 14points reply Gábor Molnár Gábor Molnár Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) The date when you have to do a presentation is more important than your kids nth friend's birthday. The former can get you fired and so you will lose your stable income and other benefits. The latter can be remedied by going over later and handing the gift over and apologising. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago As someone who Was barely invited to Kids birthdays i can say: but it is important to your kid to manage this. And it should not be an 'either - or' question. A grown up and parent has to handle all, Job dates, family dates and householdstuff. It is exhausting, yes, but the more for the other Person in house to do it for the others too. if you can't remember, train your brain and use a kalender (maybe your Phone). Don't let the partner Do all the brainwork, is what i am reading here from frustrated partners 3 3points reply Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I think it is often a problem of responsibilty people feel and effort they are (or not) willing to make for their family. Of course, it is much easier to not put energy in it, when the Partner is already remembering and organising stuff but it would be less stress for this caring Person, if the other did this too because then, the juggling Person can relax a bit and has not to carry All the brain load alone.... Waaaah, sorry, i am lost in what i want to say 1 1point reply Mabelbabel Mabelbabel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago My husband had sole custody of his 3 children from the time they were toddlers to their teenage years-I'm now stepmother to 3 teens (14-17). They haven't lived with their mother since they were babies, they have no contact with her. I've got a parental responsibility order meaning I can give consent for medical treatment and get involved in their schooling etc, but every year since they started school we've had the same issues. Their schools finds it impossible to understand that their mother isn't part of their lives-every single year we get asked for her contact details, her email address, they automatically default to putting her down as next of kin or first point of contact, and when we say we legally can't have her being contacted, it's like their brains collectively short circuit and they don't understand. Surely families come in so many different variations these days that there shouldn't be the automatic assumption that mother is the immediate contact person? 7 7points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I'm friends with a woman who's stepmother to a teenager. Apparently bio-Mom has serious issues, and willingly had her parental rights terminated. Before my friend married her husband, but they were a serious item, he had my friend listed as his daughter's second point of contact after him. Apparently they had some issues about, "Well, she's not officially a step-parent (yet), so she doesn't count." Even after they got married, there were some instances where ppl refused to believe that my friend had any rights insofar as her stepdaughter was concerned, even after my friend officially adopted her, and the daughter herself kept saying to anyone who'd listen, "My bio-mom is a flake. Stepmom *is* my mom, as far as I'm concerned. Please stop insisting on bio-mom's contact info, even I, her daughter, don't know what it is, nor do I care." Apparently it blew a lot of ppl's minds that Daughter didn't even want to have contact with bio-mom, apparently for a lot of very good reasons. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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Tweet Showing How Moms Are Still Considered To Be The Default Parent Went Viral With 283k Likes
Jurgita Dominauskaitė andSaulė Tolstych
Young couples with children try to equally contribute to parenting, the family's financial state and chores. But it is still often assumed that the woman does the most work when it comes to children and to the home. Schools tend to call the moms by default even if the family asked to firstly contact the dad, and moms are responsible for gift buying for the child's school Christmas party. A woman on Twitter jokingly remarked that when she asked her child's classmates' dads to give her their emails for birthday party purposes, all 3 of them gave her their wives' contacts. However, people in the comments didn't take it lightly and a discussion broke out about how moms are expected to take care of organizational things. More info: Twitter
Mom on Twitter shared how when she asked dads at her kid s school for emails they gave her their wives and she jokingly remarked that this is a social experiment
Image credits: Kamaji Ogino (not the actual photo) The Twitter user who started the conversation is Sonya Bonczek, the Director of Publicity at the University of North Carolina Press. The tweet went viral with 283k likes and even though the woman was joking about conducting a social experiment, people in the comments got involved in a heated discussion. Women were sharing that this is very true and that they have to handle the kids' birthdays, presents and other organizational things. Dads may think that because moms handle it so well, they enjoy it, but judging from the comments, it appears not to be true. Image credits: SonyaBonczekWhile Sonya was joking others took it more seriously and a heated discussion opened up in her comments
Image credits: amyep9 Image credits: kathleen_belew Men joined the conversation as well and while there were some of them who felt that moms are considered the default parent and were actually annoyed at not being contacted first, more men expressed that they are just not cut out for the job. These comments were saying that the men don't have such a good memory, so they forget the things they might have organized or they don't have the skills for that and if they tried to handle it, they wouldn't come on time, they wouldn't be properly dressed and who knows what they would bring as a present.Men tried to justify the dads behavior by saying that it would be weird to have a strange woman s number in their contacts if their wives ever saw it
Image credits: afoeder Image credits: izzysdad22 Image credits: KathMSchmidt Another interesting and maybe unexpected point the men raised was that they don't feel comfortable giving their contacts to another woman. They feel that having a strange woman's contact in their phones might lead to misunderstandings with their wives. While that can be true, other commenters noted that this may be an indication that the marriage is not very strong and such trust issues should be solved because the wife shouldn't be suspicious of the dad having another parents' contacts for the kid's school or socializing purposes.Men also said that their wives handle such matters better and if they did it it would be an organizational mess
Image credits: Friel9th Image credits: Radman2299 Image credits: lschutte Sonya didn't think much of the situation she described in her viral tweet and some men explained that it might be that the parents have their own roles. Maybe the mom handles school and birthdays and the dad takes the kids to doctor's appointments. We may not know the situation of every family, but the tendency still remains: people expect less from dads and if they want things done or if they want to find out something, they will go to the mom.Women were doubtful because why can t a grown man schedule and organize things when they surely have to do it for themselves
Image credits: DriesOfficial22 Image credits: Andallthatjazz2 Image credits: ElizabethBRue You may be able to imagine why the mom is seen as the default parent, and if you're guessing it's because of society and people's expectations, that's correct. Therapist Nancy Coller LCSW, Rev. says that "Women are assumed to be the default parent in part because of long-entrenched and traditional gender roles, where women are the caretakers of the family and stayed home, while men worked outside the home." It worked fine during the cavemen era, but we have evolved since then and women also provide for their families; they have different roles in society, so it is interesting to observe how the expectations from specific genders haven't changed for thousands of years.Because the moms know they are considered the default parents and have to handle most of things that have to do with their kids
Image credits: Resister_Barb Image credits: weaveremily Image credits: Dziana Hasanbekava (not the actual photo) Mariah Maddox, a writer for Motherly and a mom, shared that it was very tiring not only to be considered the default parent, but for her husband and her child's dad to be always viewed as the secondary parent because even if the dad wants to be involved, other people don't take him seriously. The mom explores the topic further: "Dads being treated as the lesser parent out in the world plays into them feeling disconnected from their role as fathers in the home. For a while, my husband thought that the only way he could help me with our son was by changing his diaper-even though I needed so much more support. And then it struck me, that was the only thing the rude nurse at the hospital told him he could handle."Not only do some men think that this is a job for the mom but society as well which leads to other dads feeling excluded from their child s life
Image credits: AmpFloyd Image credits: theactualcathal Image credits: RockHardScoop It seems that not only are moms expected to take on this emotional workload and take care of parenting, but dads are conditioned to think that there is nothing they can do to help or that they wouldn't even be able to handle it. But men are no longer just providers – they are dads, which means they should be involved in parenting as much as moms are and the workload on both of the parents doesn't just depend on the family dynamic, but on how society views them. That is why such public discussions are valuable.Or it may be that the couple has divided responsibilities equally and it just happened that the mom is in charge of the scheduling
Image credits: ladymitopinion Image credits: JeridEvan Image credits: aelliottshannon Does Sonya's experience sound familiar? Why do you think it is so hard to change the assumption that the mom handles family affairs? Do you think there is a fair explanation why the dads in Sonya's story would give their wives' emails? Let us know your thoughts and share your stories in the comments! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Jurgita Dominauskaitė Follow Unfollow Jurgita Dominauskaitė Writer, BoredPanda staff Jurgita is a content creator at Bored Panda. She studied Lithuanian Philology and Italian Language, but it was not enough to feed her hunger for knowledge so she also got a Master’s degree in Translation.She is a positive and hard-working panda. In her spare time this panda likes to read, learn new languages and go for long walks. Her favorite writer is Umberto Eco and she will trade bamboo for strawberries. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! You May Like Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers Denis Tymulis It’s Time For The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This June (40 Pics) Mantas Kačerauskas 50 Of The Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Are Just Trying To Get Through July Viktorija Ošikaitė Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Write comments POST N Gregory N Gregory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago So we have the "men are useless" argument, the "avoids infidelity accusations" argument, the "society has defaulted to..." argument, and the "maybe they've delegated responsibilities" argument. I'd say it's some combination of all the above. No single parental interaction will be the result of the same set of circumstances as the next or previous one. And, as one commenter pointed out, it's really no one else's business. As long as the child makes it to the party/dentist/soccer practice. Push back against the societal default and let the rest go. 16 16points reply Ael Ael Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago If men say it's just agreed in their relationship that the wife takes care of these things - fine (although we might ask if they ever considered doing it otherwise, or if they just copy old patterns). But grown men telling me "I can't remember birthdays"? Boy, how do they function at their job? Telling their boss "Oh sorry, I didn't prepare for the talk I was to hold, I just can't remember dates"? No - they manage fine. 14 14points reply Gábor Molnár Gábor Molnár Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) The date when you have to do a presentation is more important than your kids nth friend's birthday. The former can get you fired and so you will lose your stable income and other benefits. The latter can be remedied by going over later and handing the gift over and apologising. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago As someone who Was barely invited to Kids birthdays i can say: but it is important to your kid to manage this. And it should not be an 'either - or' question. A grown up and parent has to handle all, Job dates, family dates and householdstuff. It is exhausting, yes, but the more for the other Person in house to do it for the others too. if you can't remember, train your brain and use a kalender (maybe your Phone). Don't let the partner Do all the brainwork, is what i am reading here from frustrated partners 3 3points reply Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I think it is often a problem of responsibilty people feel and effort they are (or not) willing to make for their family. Of course, it is much easier to not put energy in it, when the Partner is already remembering and organising stuff but it would be less stress for this caring Person, if the other did this too because then, the juggling Person can relax a bit and has not to carry All the brain load alone.... Waaaah, sorry, i am lost in what i want to say 1 1point reply Mabelbabel Mabelbabel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago My husband had sole custody of his 3 children from the time they were toddlers to their teenage years-I'm now stepmother to 3 teens (14-17). They haven't lived with their mother since they were babies, they have no contact with her. I've got a parental responsibility order meaning I can give consent for medical treatment and get involved in their schooling etc, but every year since they started school we've had the same issues. Their schools finds it impossible to understand that their mother isn't part of their lives-every single year we get asked for her contact details, her email address, they automatically default to putting her down as next of kin or first point of contact, and when we say we legally can't have her being contacted, it's like their brains collectively short circuit and they don't understand. Surely families come in so many different variations these days that there shouldn't be the automatic assumption that mother is the immediate contact person? 7 7points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I'm friends with a woman who's stepmother to a teenager. Apparently bio-Mom has serious issues, and willingly had her parental rights terminated. Before my friend married her husband, but they were a serious item, he had my friend listed as his daughter's second point of contact after him. Apparently they had some issues about, "Well, she's not officially a step-parent (yet), so she doesn't count." Even after they got married, there were some instances where ppl refused to believe that my friend had any rights insofar as her stepdaughter was concerned, even after my friend officially adopted her, and the daughter herself kept saying to anyone who'd listen, "My bio-mom is a flake. Stepmom *is* my mom, as far as I'm concerned. Please stop insisting on bio-mom's contact info, even I, her daughter, don't know what it is, nor do I care." Apparently it blew a lot of ppl's minds that Daughter didn't even want to have contact with bio-mom, apparently for a lot of very good reasons. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST N Gregory N Gregory Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago So we have the "men are useless" argument, the "avoids infidelity accusations" argument, the "society has defaulted to..." argument, and the "maybe they've delegated responsibilities" argument. I'd say it's some combination of all the above. No single parental interaction will be the result of the same set of circumstances as the next or previous one. And, as one commenter pointed out, it's really no one else's business. As long as the child makes it to the party/dentist/soccer practice. Push back against the societal default and let the rest go. 16 16points reply Ael Ael Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago If men say it's just agreed in their relationship that the wife takes care of these things - fine (although we might ask if they ever considered doing it otherwise, or if they just copy old patterns). But grown men telling me "I can't remember birthdays"? Boy, how do they function at their job? Telling their boss "Oh sorry, I didn't prepare for the talk I was to hold, I just can't remember dates"? No - they manage fine. 14 14points reply Gábor Molnár Gábor Molnár Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) The date when you have to do a presentation is more important than your kids nth friend's birthday. The former can get you fired and so you will lose your stable income and other benefits. The latter can be remedied by going over later and handing the gift over and apologising. 1 1point reply Load More Replies... Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago As someone who Was barely invited to Kids birthdays i can say: but it is important to your kid to manage this. And it should not be an 'either - or' question. A grown up and parent has to handle all, Job dates, family dates and householdstuff. It is exhausting, yes, but the more for the other Person in house to do it for the others too. if you can't remember, train your brain and use a kalender (maybe your Phone). Don't let the partner Do all the brainwork, is what i am reading here from frustrated partners 3 3points reply Mia Black Mia Black Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I think it is often a problem of responsibilty people feel and effort they are (or not) willing to make for their family. Of course, it is much easier to not put energy in it, when the Partner is already remembering and organising stuff but it would be less stress for this caring Person, if the other did this too because then, the juggling Person can relax a bit and has not to carry All the brain load alone.... Waaaah, sorry, i am lost in what i want to say 1 1point reply Mabelbabel Mabelbabel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago My husband had sole custody of his 3 children from the time they were toddlers to their teenage years-I'm now stepmother to 3 teens (14-17). They haven't lived with their mother since they were babies, they have no contact with her. I've got a parental responsibility order meaning I can give consent for medical treatment and get involved in their schooling etc, but every year since they started school we've had the same issues. Their schools finds it impossible to understand that their mother isn't part of their lives-every single year we get asked for her contact details, her email address, they automatically default to putting her down as next of kin or first point of contact, and when we say we legally can't have her being contacted, it's like their brains collectively short circuit and they don't understand. Surely families come in so many different variations these days that there shouldn't be the automatic assumption that mother is the immediate contact person? 7 7points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I'm friends with a woman who's stepmother to a teenager. Apparently bio-Mom has serious issues, and willingly had her parental rights terminated. Before my friend married her husband, but they were a serious item, he had my friend listed as his daughter's second point of contact after him. Apparently they had some issues about, "Well, she's not officially a step-parent (yet), so she doesn't count." Even after they got married, there were some instances where ppl refused to believe that my friend had any rights insofar as her stepdaughter was concerned, even after my friend officially adopted her, and the daughter herself kept saying to anyone who'd listen, "My bio-mom is a flake. Stepmom *is* my mom, as far as I'm concerned. Please stop insisting on bio-mom's contact info, even I, her daughter, don't know what it is, nor do I care." Apparently it blew a lot of ppl's minds that Daughter didn't even want to have contact with bio-mom, apparently for a lot of very good reasons. 2 2points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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