Dad Is Planning To Leave An Equal Inheritance To His Two Adult Kids And Now Teenage Stepson His Kids Get Upset And The Internet Is On Their Side Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Dad Is Planning To Leave An Equal Inheritance To His Two Adult Kids And Now Teenage Stepson His Kids Get Upset And The Internet Is On Their Side Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 29points Parenting, Relationships3 weeks ago

Dad Is Planning To Leave An Equal Inheritance To His Two Adult Kids And Now Teenage Stepson His Kids Get Upset And The Internet Is On Their Side

Robertas Lisickis and
Saulė Tolstych
Few things are as messy as inheritances. In fact, if there are problems in a family, it's quite likely everything will be messy from that point on. But, believe it or not, it's not just about greed. Sometimes, it's about fairness, or even justice. Money per se is not the destination, but rather a means, or mayhaps a complication, in the whole scheme of things. This is exemplified in a recent Am I The A-Hole story posted by a father who thought dividing up the inheritance equally would be the best thing for everyone. But, alas, it ended in family drama. More Info: Reddit

Few things are as messy as inheritances but it s not always about money-but rather about fairness and respect

Image credits: William Whyte (not the actual photo) So, a 62-year-old dad of 2, biologically speaking, adult children-both in their early 30s-and a stepdad to another kid, a 12-year-old boy, has recently approached the Am I The A-Hole community for some perspective. You see, OP admits he wasn't the best father figure with his 2 biological kids. Growing up, he would often prioritize work over family-having your own business demands certain sacrifices. So, their relationship was anything but a good one. It got better when the kids became adults, but you can bet there is some issue there, especially given that entrepreneurship had its ups and downs, begging the question "was it worth it?" His relationship with his stepson, on the other hand, is great. And while 4 years later, it's still not at the stage of "being a dad" to him just yet, being "a close uncle" seems like a win in his book for now.

A dad recently visited the AITA community to find out if giving equal parts of his inheritance to his kids was the right thing to do

Image credits: Particular-Song-5748 Given this context, OP started thinking more about his will. He had an idea to split his inheritance equally among his kids as follows: leaving about 60% of his assets to all three kids, each getting 20%. The wife will get about 30%. The business he has will be going to his biological kids, unless his wife or stepson decide to get involved in the future, but his biological kids would get majority stakes either way.

Having always prioritized his business his biological kids felt it unfair that the stepson who has been there just 4 years is elevated to the same level as his actual kids

Image credits: Particular-Song-5748 Seems fair, right? Well, no, because there's more nuance to that. Remember how we mentioned him admitting that he wasn't the best of dads? His biological kids claim that they had to grow up with a "cold, emotionally and physically distant or unavailable father" who was too busy with the business so he could bring food to the table.

Later on OP gave specific numbers on what the inheritance looked like with 60% of being split into equal parts among the 3 kids

Image credits: Particular-Song-5748 Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo) They went on to say that, unlike them, the stepson now sees the dad as a new person, one who doesn't work as much, and they can all enjoy their luxurious life because the business is booming. But that is exactly the problem-this kid always got the good side of things. It seems that it wasn't about the money here-it was about reconciling relationships and being fair. Throughout the post, the dad acknowledged several times that he understood his biological children's concerns and reasoning. Still, he felt like sharing it with the AITA community. And they sided with his biological kids, you can say.

The community sided with the biological children for a number of reasons but mostly because it was surely unfair given the context

Folks online certainly saw the unfairness of the situation. Not only was it on a chronological degree, whereby his biological kids have spent their entire lives with the dad, and the stepson has only been in the picture for 4 years, but also considering how much different he was as a father figure to them versus the stepson. Image credits: Enric Cruz López (not the actual photo) Most agreed that while it is a nice gesture to include the stepson in the inheritance, he shouldn't be considered an equal in it. Not now, at least. If he was to leave it equal, it would mean he's "elevating" the stepson to a level equal to his actual children, and that is, if anything, disrespectful towards the kids. The overall consensus was YTA, or you're the a-hole, aimed at OP. An edit was also added to the post, whereby OP elaborated on how the will was originally planned out, and how he was reconsidering this whole deal. You can read through the post in context here, and also have a go at some of our other AITA coverage here, here, and here. But don't go just yet as we have a lot of questions for you, the most important of which is what are your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comment section below! Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Robertas Lisickis Follow Unfollow Robertas Lisickis Writer, BoredPanda staff Robertas, nicknamed the Comma Inquisitor by friends, is a Bored Panda writer and content creator. After his studies at LCC International University, where he got a BA in English Language and Literature, Robertas went on to do freelance teaching, translation, and copywriting work, primarily specializing in IT. He spent nearly three years writing about all things Wi-Fi, eventually being picked up by Bored Panda. Whenever there’s free time, he spends it playing Gwent, or hosting Dungeons & Dragons sessions for his mostly chaotic neutral team. Read more » Saulė Tolstych Follow Unfollow Saulė Tolstych Author, BoredPanda staff Saulė is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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He could leave 100% to the local animal rescue if he wants! At least until the stepson is 18, stepdad should do his best to make sure his wife and her child aren't out in the cold if he dies suddenly. Yeah, that means the 30-somethings don't get the house. Assuming they're not currently homeless, they don't need it. Giving the wife and/or stepson a share of the business means they can afford to keep the electricity on. Bio kids are being selfish. 39 39points reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Omfg I was just wondering if I was the only one getting annoyed with everyone calling the dad the Ahole when his kids sound super entitled to something they didn't work for. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... LittleLiz LittleLiz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) He wouldn't be WRONG, but this really isn't about being wrong. It's about whether you are an a*****e if you value a 12 year old you've known for 4 years (who doesn't see you as a parent) as highly as the adults you barely did anything to raise and who proved their dedication to you time and again. They helped the business a lot. They didn't give up on him. I'd say they're entitled to quite a bit more than their new stepmom, who could have easily gone to highschool with them 6 6points reply Yuukinoyuki Yuukinoyuki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Strong disagree. They helped the buisness so they should be entitled to inherit the buisness or majority stakes when he goes. But that's where it ends. What they get for not giving up on their dad is a relationship with him - presumably the thing they wanted when they reached out. That money is a gift. In what world do you say, "I don't want your gift because its the same value as that little kid's gift, and I've known you longer"? That's such entitled behavior. I'd be very tempted to go, "you're right. It's not fair for me to split it in thirds. But there's no mathmatical combination that would make it 'fair' so I've decided to leave all my money to X charity" and call it a day. 3 3points reply Hazel Hello Hazel Hello Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Eeeerrmm. Did you read the full thing? One of the main reasons the business is successful is because of the biological kids! They did work for it! And also, they went back to their not great dad to repair the relationship when they could have totally not done that. They did work for it. 5 5points reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago (edited) Fair, but I'm sticking to my guns. Screw the whiney adult babies and reddits feelings. Kids are getting something which is more than what others get. It's not about earning anything since they are STILL getting something. But boohoo you want to play a better dad to step son. 1 1point reply Alyssia White Alyssia White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Literally made an account just to say this. Why people feel they are entitled to their parents money f*****g baffles me. 1 1point reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Truth! 1 1point reply WonderWoman WonderWoman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago OP owes his children NOTHING. That his bio children are *upset* and think $$ is warranted due to his earlier behavior is ridiculous and indicates that they are only involved for a payout. I hope OP leaves his entire estate to whomever he wants as he wants and not to be influenced by his greedy, selfish children. 27 27points reply ItsJess ItsJess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago Yeah tbh I think the biochildren are the AH in this scenario-greedy, entitled, and selfish. It's ok to feel like their stepbrother is not part of their family- he came into their lives when they were adults with loves of their own. But if OP feels compelled to provide for a child with whom he hopes to have a parental relationship, that's his business (and imo a lovely thing to do). How will the stepson feel if one day he finds out that the man he has come to regard as a father doesnt see him as equal to his biological children? I think OP sounds like a compassionate person who has recognized his new familial situation as a chance to grow and do better- he has the maturity and hindsight to see where he was lacking as a dad and to right that wrong. His adult biological children sound jealous and grabby. They are the AH in this situation. For context, I have a large family of steps and we have always regarded each other on equal footing- loving and making each other crazy equally. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... PattyK PattyK Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I agree with ItsJess. The OP doesn’t “owe” his money to anybody, and no amount of money will ever appease his bio children. He should dispose of his estate as he sees fit and discuss it with no one except his executor. 7 7points reply Julia Purdy Julia Purdy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I grew up as a stepchild... my stepfather supported my mother and me and paid for my education and that was about it. He and my mother firmed a new family and he didn't give me his name until the first sibling was born and heleft everything to my mother, and I never saw her will and got nothing from it anyway. By sheer fluke my bio aunt and uncle left a small inheritance for me but nothing from my bio father or my mother. Stepfamilies can be a b*tch 5 5points reply Chris Winchester Chris Winchester Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Greed is a horrible thing. When my dad died the last thing my brother and I cared about was money. When the insurance people asked what to do we just said split it somehow. We didn't care. N 2 2points reply WonderWoman WonderWoman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I agree, well put. 1 1point reply Wellness Advocate All Day Wellness Advocate All Day Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago You hv to look at the emotionsl damage op did to his bio kids. His most decent thing should be to worry more about his bio kids whom he hurt deeply. 2 2points reply Howaboutno Howaboutno Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Why should he prioritize the emotional state of any of his kids over any other one of them? He married his wife, and with her came a new kid, and that kid is just as much one of his children as either of his biological kids. -1 -1point reply Joe calbery Joe calbery Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Perhaps opinions would be different if one were able to walk a mile in another's shoes. 3 3points reply Hazel Hello Hazel Hello Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago So someone brings two councsious lives who didn't consent to being born into the world, and is a bad parent to them, and after a certain age owes them NOTHING? 1 1point reply Ryan-James O'Driscoll Ryan-James O'Driscoll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I hate all of these YTA people. Inheritance is not a right. 21 21points reply Load More Comments POST Beth L Beth L Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 weeks ago Dad doesn't owe any of his kids anything. He could leave 100% to the local animal rescue if he wants! At least until the stepson is 18, stepdad should do his best to make sure his wife and her child aren't out in the cold if he dies suddenly. Yeah, that means the 30-somethings don't get the house. Assuming they're not currently homeless, they don't need it. Giving the wife and/or stepson a share of the business means they can afford to keep the electricity on. Bio kids are being selfish. 39 39points reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Omfg I was just wondering if I was the only one getting annoyed with everyone calling the dad the Ahole when his kids sound super entitled to something they didn't work for. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... LittleLiz LittleLiz Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) He wouldn't be WRONG, but this really isn't about being wrong. It's about whether you are an a*****e if you value a 12 year old you've known for 4 years (who doesn't see you as a parent) as highly as the adults you barely did anything to raise and who proved their dedication to you time and again. They helped the business a lot. They didn't give up on him. I'd say they're entitled to quite a bit more than their new stepmom, who could have easily gone to highschool with them 6 6points reply Yuukinoyuki Yuukinoyuki Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Strong disagree. They helped the buisness so they should be entitled to inherit the buisness or majority stakes when he goes. But that's where it ends. What they get for not giving up on their dad is a relationship with him - presumably the thing they wanted when they reached out. That money is a gift. In what world do you say, "I don't want your gift because its the same value as that little kid's gift, and I've known you longer"? That's such entitled behavior. I'd be very tempted to go, "you're right. It's not fair for me to split it in thirds. But there's no mathmatical combination that would make it 'fair' so I've decided to leave all my money to X charity" and call it a day. 3 3points reply Hazel Hello Hazel Hello Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Eeeerrmm. Did you read the full thing? One of the main reasons the business is successful is because of the biological kids! They did work for it! And also, they went back to their not great dad to repair the relationship when they could have totally not done that. They did work for it. 5 5points reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago (edited) Fair, but I'm sticking to my guns. Screw the whiney adult babies and reddits feelings. Kids are getting something which is more than what others get. It's not about earning anything since they are STILL getting something. But boohoo you want to play a better dad to step son. 1 1point reply Alyssia White Alyssia White Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Literally made an account just to say this. Why people feel they are entitled to their parents money f*****g baffles me. 1 1point reply Jo V. Jo V. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Truth! 1 1point reply WonderWoman WonderWoman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago OP owes his children NOTHING. That his bio children are *upset* and think $$ is warranted due to his earlier behavior is ridiculous and indicates that they are only involved for a payout. I hope OP leaves his entire estate to whomever he wants as he wants and not to be influenced by his greedy, selfish children. 27 27points reply ItsJess ItsJess Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago Yeah tbh I think the biochildren are the AH in this scenario-greedy, entitled, and selfish. It's ok to feel like their stepbrother is not part of their family- he came into their lives when they were adults with loves of their own. But if OP feels compelled to provide for a child with whom he hopes to have a parental relationship, that's his business (and imo a lovely thing to do). How will the stepson feel if one day he finds out that the man he has come to regard as a father doesnt see him as equal to his biological children? I think OP sounds like a compassionate person who has recognized his new familial situation as a chance to grow and do better- he has the maturity and hindsight to see where he was lacking as a dad and to right that wrong. His adult biological children sound jealous and grabby. They are the AH in this situation. For context, I have a large family of steps and we have always regarded each other on equal footing- loving and making each other crazy equally. 16 16points reply Load More Replies... PattyK PattyK Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I agree with ItsJess. The OP doesn’t “owe” his money to anybody, and no amount of money will ever appease his bio children. He should dispose of his estate as he sees fit and discuss it with no one except his executor. 7 7points reply Julia Purdy Julia Purdy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I grew up as a stepchild... my stepfather supported my mother and me and paid for my education and that was about it. He and my mother firmed a new family and he didn't give me his name until the first sibling was born and heleft everything to my mother, and I never saw her will and got nothing from it anyway. By sheer fluke my bio aunt and uncle left a small inheritance for me but nothing from my bio father or my mother. Stepfamilies can be a b*tch 5 5points reply Chris Winchester Chris Winchester Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Greed is a horrible thing. When my dad died the last thing my brother and I cared about was money. When the insurance people asked what to do we just said split it somehow. We didn't care. N 2 2points reply WonderWoman WonderWoman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I agree, well put. 1 1point reply Wellness Advocate All Day Wellness Advocate All Day Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago You hv to look at the emotionsl damage op did to his bio kids. His most decent thing should be to worry more about his bio kids whom he hurt deeply. 2 2points reply Howaboutno Howaboutno Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 week ago Why should he prioritize the emotional state of any of his kids over any other one of them? He married his wife, and with her came a new kid, and that kid is just as much one of his children as either of his biological kids. -1 -1point reply Joe calbery Joe calbery Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Perhaps opinions would be different if one were able to walk a mile in another's shoes. 3 3points reply Hazel Hello Hazel Hello Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago So someone brings two councsious lives who didn't consent to being born into the world, and is a bad parent to them, and after a certain age owes them NOTHING? 1 1point reply Ryan-James O'Driscoll Ryan-James O'Driscoll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I hate all of these YTA people. Inheritance is not a right. 21 21points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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