"I Couldn't Believe My Eyes": Woman Returns Home To A Wrecked House, Moves Into Hotel Until Husband Cleans His Mess Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda “ I Couldn’ t Believe My Eyes” Woman Returns Home To A Wrecked House Moves Into Hotel Until Husband Cleans His Mess Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 126points 1.1K People, Relationships3 weeks ago

“ I Couldn’ t Believe My Eyes” Woman Returns Home To A Wrecked House Moves Into Hotel Until Husband Cleans His Mess

Ieva Gailiūtė and
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Coming up with a fair division of household duties is a delicate subject for many couples. While all you need to do is split all the tasks in two, the reality is a bit more complicated. Perhaps you wind up taking the bulk of the domestic load, or your partner simply doesn't pull their weight. Then annoyances over dirty laundry and unwashed dishes inevitably build up and spiral into heated arguments that leave you resentful. And sometimes, it even leads to a downright chore war that leaves partners no choice but to lunge into battle. One such case is what happened to Redditor Limp-Cryptographer26, who recently shared her story with the AITA community. As the 36-year-old woman detailed in her post, she left the house sparkling clean before going on a trip with her kid, just to make things easier for her husband who picked up a lot of overtime while they were away. But after a smooth-sailing week at camp, she was shocked to return to a wrecked house. The wife got so fed up being the one cleaning up after her hubby that she gave an ultimatum that seemed to have strained their marriage. Scroll down for the full story, as well as some reactions from readers, and then let us know in the comments what you think about the situation.

After this woman went on a camping trip with her child for a week she cleaned the entire house to make things easier for her husband

Image credits: Yusuf C (not the actual photo)

But when she returned home she was appalled by the level of mess he made while she was away

Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo) Image credits: Limp-Cryptographer26 For busy couples who juggle work, chores, and kids, arguments can come from any direction. But while we imagine that the typical topics of relationship troubles such as infidelity or money problems are the primary bones of contention, this story proves it's not always that dramatic. Partners sometimes get upset about the little things, like who does the dishes or takes out the garbage. While it may seem petty, these issues can add up and lead to built-up resentment that fractures the foundation of the marriage. According to a survey from Yelp and OnePoll, 80% of chore-doing people living with a partner have disagreements about housework, with one-fifth of those saying they disagree often. The survey consulted 2,000 American adults who live with a partner and was split evenly between men and women. It found that the most common disputes revolved around when to do the housework (53%), how to do it (50%), and who should do it (48%). Moreover, 61% even admitted they'd cleaned the home again after their partner did. To gain more insight on the issue from an expert, we reached out to Eileen Head, a transformational coach who aims to help people to shift their mindset and release old beliefs, blocks, and patterns to create the love they desire. According to her, the wife was absolutely right to leave the house after her husband neglected all household duties. "And as a matter of fact, taking this stand is crucial to this relationship, for both of them to create a loving and connected relationship," Head told Bored Panda. However, the coach also pointed out that when couples enter the territory of household chore battles, the issues have little to do with who should be vacuuming the kitchen or loading the dishwasher. "What couples fight about is not really what they are fighting about," Head said. "There is usually an underlying issue of needs not being met. So, this is much deeper than the house being a wreck." While conflicts about household chores are common and often lead to even more squabbles, resentment, and feelings of disrespect, it is how these arguments are handled that matters most. "Without knowing more about this couple, has this been an ongoing issue? This is not about who is TA here but more about how they are responding to the needs of each other and resolving this current conflict in a loving way." "At a deeper level, how your partner handles your needs is translated into emotional needs of value, worthiness and feeling loved," Head added.

Later on the user jumped to the comments to clarify some details about the situation

Coach Head mentioned that studying the Enneagram (any-a-gram) personalities will help you to understand "why cleanliness may be a high value for one person and feeling controlled by their partner with this need. This might be part of what is going on with the husband." "Patterns get set up in relationships and can be effective…and can also be dysfunctional. There can be patterns of parent/child relationships where one person is more responsible than the other." Speaking of the situation in question, the fact that the household chores are generally shared equally sounds positive. But Head argued that when her husband refused to acknowledge that the house was left clean and now is a mess, and then complained that it wasn't that bad - it shows a lack of maturity. "Then saying that with their agreement, she should now help with her 50% to clean it up is not taking responsibility. Her 50% entailed leaving the house clean in the first place and even precooking meals for him!" "Concerning for me is seeing that he didn't even do the few tasks she had asked…watering the garden and sending out the package. This shows me a lack of disregard for his wife," the coach said. "Has this been a pattern that has been overlooked in the past?" Tackling chores in a relationship can be an ongoing struggle, but thankfully, there are ways to create a shift in the couple's dynamics. "Someone needs to change the pattern, and she did that by going to a hotel. I hope that she stood her ground, but if she caved, that would put them back into the revolving pattern unless he apologized and claimed responsibility," Head noted. "Husbands who love, value and respect their partner would not behave in this way." "Many couples struggle with these seemingly insignificant challenges in relationships which often accumulate. When coaching clients, I interpret for them, based on their Enneagrams, what's important and why, and how each person feels emotionally loved and valued," Head concluded.

And here s how the readers reacted after reading the story

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Mindaugas Balčiauskas Mindaugas Balčiauskas Author, BoredPanda staff Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I would have said it was a tripping hazard, but a tavern in Hades is definitely lower. 6 6points reply The Radio Demon The Radio Demon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Not a tripping hazard. Because then you have to have something to get below it to fall over it. 5 5points reply YELLING!!! YELLING!!! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I don't really agree but it gets an up vote. BTW, I'm stealing it. 5 5points reply Crispy Toast Crispy Toast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Me too! 1 1point reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 31 31points reply Aroha Aroha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago Where's the scientology? I don't see it. (Of course, I'm also not clicking thru links...) 5 5points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Edited my response because I just figured out what you meant. Scientology talks about Engrams. This article talks about Enneagrams. They look similar in name, but they're actually entirely different thing. Enneagrams have nothing to do with Scientology. 3 3points reply Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Enneagrams are not the same thing as engrams! Engrams are used in Scientology. Enneagrams is an entirely different thing. They're not talking about Scientology at all in this article. They're talking about a mainstream personality test. 3 3points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Ash, thank you. I googled it and it turns out that you are correct as far as it not being connected to Scientology. However it is not considered a mainstream personality test according to Wikipedia and is controversial. Again, thank you for the information and I apologize for any confusion I have caused. 0 0points reply Erik B Erik B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. [Any religion] is a cult. There, fixed it for you. If the advice a person provides is helpful to others then it doesn't matter what their individual beliefs are. -4 -4points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Erik, Scientology is excessively controlling compared to mainstream religions. They isolate and abuse people. Require that you spend all your money on them. Only celebrities and other rich people can afford to participate without going broke. That's most people's definition of a cult. I have no issues with them believing whatever they want, but their BEHAVIOR makes them dangerous. 5 5points reply Erik B Erik B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago There are many examples throughout history of human beings doing terrible things "in the name of religion". Especially when the religious majority controls the government of a state. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck.... If you did not find the individuals advice helpful then that is perfectly fine, but again, who cares what their individual beliefs are. Now if a person breaks a law or interferes with another persons rights while practicing their beliefs, then that is a crime and should be dealt with accordingly by the appropriate authorities. 1 1point reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago That level of mess is an adult temper tantrum. He needs to grow up and get a grip on reality. Also, he is clearly testing boundaries with the spouse. 21 21points reply Jeff Lum Jeff Lum Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. What level of mess? Nobody saw a picture. The picture in this article isn't their house lol. -5 -5points reply Load More Replies... Joe p Joe p Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Umm the level of mess described in the original post. Words are the original post which describes things. It's a level of mess that would require someone to move out into a hotel until said mess is cleaned. Did you read those words? No picture required. 11 11points reply Load More Comments POST Jenn C Jenn C Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago "The bar for men is so low it's a tavern in Hades" 78 78points reply Cara G Cara G Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago That person should get an award for that! 26 26points reply Load More Replies... Seabeast Seabeast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago I would have said it was a tripping hazard, but a tavern in Hades is definitely lower. 6 6points reply The Radio Demon The Radio Demon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Not a tripping hazard. Because then you have to have something to get below it to fall over it. 5 5points reply YELLING!!! YELLING!!! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I don't really agree but it gets an up vote. BTW, I'm stealing it. 5 5points reply Crispy Toast Crispy Toast Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Me too! 1 1point reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 31 31points reply Aroha Aroha Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 15 15points reply Load More Replies... Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago Where's the scientology? I don't see it. (Of course, I'm also not clicking thru links...) 5 5points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment has been deleted. 0 0points reply Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Edited my response because I just figured out what you meant. Scientology talks about Engrams. This article talks about Enneagrams. They look similar in name, but they're actually entirely different thing. Enneagrams have nothing to do with Scientology. 3 3points reply Ash Ash Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Enneagrams are not the same thing as engrams! Engrams are used in Scientology. Enneagrams is an entirely different thing. They're not talking about Scientology at all in this article. They're talking about a mainstream personality test. 3 3points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Ash, thank you. I googled it and it turns out that you are correct as far as it not being connected to Scientology. However it is not considered a mainstream personality test according to Wikipedia and is controversial. Again, thank you for the information and I apologize for any confusion I have caused. 0 0points reply Erik B Erik B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. [Any religion] is a cult. There, fixed it for you. If the advice a person provides is helpful to others then it doesn't matter what their individual beliefs are. -4 -4points reply Mary Rogers Mary Rogers Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago (edited) Erik, Scientology is excessively controlling compared to mainstream religions. They isolate and abuse people. Require that you spend all your money on them. Only celebrities and other rich people can afford to participate without going broke. That's most people's definition of a cult. I have no issues with them believing whatever they want, but their BEHAVIOR makes them dangerous. 5 5points reply Erik B Erik B Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago There are many examples throughout history of human beings doing terrible things "in the name of religion". Especially when the religious majority controls the government of a state. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck.... If you did not find the individuals advice helpful then that is perfectly fine, but again, who cares what their individual beliefs are. Now if a person breaks a law or interferes with another persons rights while practicing their beliefs, then that is a crime and should be dealt with accordingly by the appropriate authorities. 1 1point reply Blackheart Blackheart Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 weeks ago That level of mess is an adult temper tantrum. He needs to grow up and get a grip on reality. Also, he is clearly testing boundaries with the spouse. 21 21points reply Jeff Lum Jeff Lum Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago This comment is hidden. Click here to view. What level of mess? Nobody saw a picture. The picture in this article isn't their house lol. -5 -5points reply Load More Replies... Joe p Joe p Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Umm the level of mess described in the original post. Words are the original post which describes things. It's a level of mess that would require someone to move out into a hotel until said mess is cleaned. Did you read those words? No picture required. 11 11points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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