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“ Am I The Jerk For Serving My Boyfriend’ s Parents Pizza For Dinner ”

Liucija Adomaite and
Austėja Akavickaitė
Recently, a 28-year-old woman who is "utterly and genuinely confused" turned to the AITA community for help. In a post that amassed 19.1k upvotes and 5.4k comments, the author MilanoItaliano1 shared an incident she had with her boyfriend's family. "I have been dating my boyfriend m31 for 7 months. His family is of Italian origins and they take a lot of pride in it," she explained. One evening, his parents decided to come over for the first time. "They said they were visiting a friend and decided to stop by for dinner." The word "dinner" made MilanoItaliano1 freak out since it was late, she was working and had no time to cook. So she did what she thought was best and ordered a pizza. It turns out that her boyfriend's parents were not simply unimpressed with the meal, but they took it as an offensive gesture. Read on below to find out what happened and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments.

Woman was left utterly confused after her boyfriend s parents got very insulted because she served them pizza br

Image credits: Alexandra Gorn (not the actual photo) Image credits: Ejov Igor (not the actual photo)

Many people expressed their support for the author and said that she did nothing wrong in the situation

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Follow Hungry Panda Liucija Adomaite Liucija Adomaite Writer, BoredPanda staff Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Read more » Austėja Akavickaitė Follow Unfollow Austėja Akavickaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Austėja is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Photography. They have a diverse set of creative skills and a wide portfolio which ranges from photography to digital editing and traditional art. After graduating from Nottingham Trent University in 2018 they have worked as a freelance photographer until Bored Panda. When not editing, they enjoy biking, taking too many pictures of their dog and drawing. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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My mom's family isn't Italian, but the food culture is similar. Eat! Eat! Feed people! Nobody goes home hungry, nobody shows up without food, it's just not done. 46 46points reply Load More Replies... Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Though I was born up north, 99% of my family are southwestern (my moms entire side is Arizona and oklahoma). And thats how it is. South and southwestern US feed anybody and everybody. You're hungry and we have food? Eat it. We'll hunt something if we run out, its not a problem. Likewise, we NEVER show up at someone's house without a gift. Bring some soda, or a bottle of wine, or flowers, or whatever. 2 2points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago When my parents were first married, in the late 1960s, they lived in an apartment with an Italian superintendent. Every Sunday, he'd invite the whole apartment complex (probably less than 30 ppl) over to his place for dinner. Freshly prepared, homemade Italian food, enough to feed a small army. My parents moved to a bigger place once my mother got pregnant with me, but even 50 years later they remembered those Italian dinners fondly. 15 15points reply Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago My uncle used to do the same thing. He'd invite everyone over for an annual get together. Family from out of state would travel to attend. Because his spaghetti was famous. He got the recipe from an old Italian man who had many scars and a HUGE mansion (got bigger everytime he told the story), but the man always refused to say how he got his money. Very hush-hush about it. 1 1point reply niinque (they/them) niinque (they/them) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago So true, whenever I go somewhere for dinner (never uninvited, I'm Italian not an a*****e) I always being at least desserts and wine, sometimes appetizers unless I'm specifically told there's enough to eat... In that case we just bring a lot of wine 9 9points reply Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Southwestern family here. Thats always been the rule. If you show up without a gift, you're TA. Could be food, drink, flowers, dishes, whatever. My aunt once showed up without a gift and handed my grandma her car key, saying "I brought you a car, since yours broke down". 2 2points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago That's so true! 6 6points reply T.Milly T.Milly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Exactly! 5 5points reply Julianne M Julianne M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago That's how my mom is 1 1point reply Queenbee Queenbee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Lol. Stop. Not all Italians or any race is a monolith. Some may not be inclusive. They sound insufferable. 1 1point reply MiriPanda MiriPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Firstly, 'Italian origin' means they are basically Americans with Italian ancestors, stop with this "I am xyz" nonsense when you are an American citizen. Secondly, you don't show up on short notice for dinner. Thirdly, why was SHE expected to prepare food when HIS parents showed up unexpectedly. 126 126points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Well said! 28 28points reply Load More Replies... RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Totally agree with everything you said. I am a Brazilian, because I am from Brazil. I don't call myself a Spaniard because my great great great grandmother comes from Spain, or Portuguese because my great grandfather came from Portugal. I love both countries, but I hold no allegiance to them. Also, I would love for somebody to order me a pizza. Finally, if my parents came uninvited and expected dinner, me within the hour (depending upon how long it takes her to strangle me to death first). If her mother came uninvited for dinner, I would be very upset too. Who does that? 14 14points reply RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Also, if I go to somebody's house and they serve me black beans and rice, I would be very happy. Thank you! 14 14points reply Ramona Jackson Ramona Jackson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Black beans & rice, YUM!! 4 4points reply TheElderNom TheElderNom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) I think second generation can still call themselves whatever country their parents are from, providing they have a strong culture of it at home. I'm half Danish, but aside from some Danish food preferences I'm very Swedish and I identify as such. Of course the difference between Swedish and Danish is only important to us Scandinavians. 9 9points reply MimSorensson MimSorensson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Well, yeah - even totally swedish me care little about the difference between us and Denmark, honestly (although the very different languages can be a problem). And I mean - if I went to surprise visit someone and they were not only kind enough to serve me food when I came basically unannounced, but even ordered something kind of swedish (if we pretend that’d be possible) I’d take that as a kind gesture. Respect in a way, even. I wouldn’t take it as a goddamned insult, that’s just weird. 6 6points reply TheElderNom TheElderNom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I agree. If someone served sill and potatoes I'd find it very weird and it really isn't my favourite food, but hey free food! 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago They invited themselves to dinner. Who does that? I have been married 34 years, my mother in law would never just drop in and expect dinner. 8 8points reply Howaboutno Howaboutno Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I don't disagree with you, but the fact that his parents called her American would imply that they themselves aren't 2 2points reply Thomas Thomas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Many of the "Italian origin" Americans, when they actually come in Italy for vacation, don't have an effing clue about the actual Italian culture. Especially the cuisine. 0 0points reply Theresa Carroll Theresa Carroll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) In all actuality we are all mutts.. a lil bit of everything.. that's why I think every single person in the US should take an ancestry or 23 n me DNA test.. cause then it might just shut everyone up, people will realize we are all the same a bunch of mutts with like 20 different lineages... 0 0points reply IKaRu IKaRu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Basically Americans trying to feel offended lol 0 0points reply Ramona Jackson Ramona Jackson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago They were looking very hard for an excuse to dislike this person. 5 5points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Let's recap: "Hi, we came over with no notice! Feed us" was met with pizza. And if it was Chinese or Thai or Indian or German they'd be fine? No. The real objection they have is to the OP, and it's obvious they raised their son to be a twit, so... Dump the boyfriend, let him find someone his parents think is a "nice Italian girl". I've seen this game played with people of dang near every ancestry, be they in the UK or US or Canada or wherever. "Oh but we're (fill in blank) so you should be with someone who meets our (very narrow demanding) expectations" is just a parental way of saying "we'll control you till we die". IMHO. 73 73points reply Load More Comments POST Lace Neil Lace Neil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago If they were really Italian, they would have shown up with a giant pot of food and insisted that it was eaten. 136 136points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Just what I was thinking. My mom's family isn't Italian, but the food culture is similar. Eat! Eat! Feed people! Nobody goes home hungry, nobody shows up without food, it's just not done. 46 46points reply Load More Replies... Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Though I was born up north, 99% of my family are southwestern (my moms entire side is Arizona and oklahoma). And thats how it is. South and southwestern US feed anybody and everybody. You're hungry and we have food? Eat it. We'll hunt something if we run out, its not a problem. Likewise, we NEVER show up at someone's house without a gift. Bring some soda, or a bottle of wine, or flowers, or whatever. 2 2points reply Nightshade1972 Nightshade1972 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago When my parents were first married, in the late 1960s, they lived in an apartment with an Italian superintendent. Every Sunday, he'd invite the whole apartment complex (probably less than 30 ppl) over to his place for dinner. Freshly prepared, homemade Italian food, enough to feed a small army. My parents moved to a bigger place once my mother got pregnant with me, but even 50 years later they remembered those Italian dinners fondly. 15 15points reply Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago My uncle used to do the same thing. He'd invite everyone over for an annual get together. Family from out of state would travel to attend. Because his spaghetti was famous. He got the recipe from an old Italian man who had many scars and a HUGE mansion (got bigger everytime he told the story), but the man always refused to say how he got his money. Very hush-hush about it. 1 1point reply niinque (they/them) niinque (they/them) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago So true, whenever I go somewhere for dinner (never uninvited, I'm Italian not an a*****e) I always being at least desserts and wine, sometimes appetizers unless I'm specifically told there's enough to eat... In that case we just bring a lot of wine 9 9points reply Nathan Wolfe Nathan Wolfe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Southwestern family here. Thats always been the rule. If you show up without a gift, you're TA. Could be food, drink, flowers, dishes, whatever. My aunt once showed up without a gift and handed my grandma her car key, saying "I brought you a car, since yours broke down". 2 2points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago That's so true! 6 6points reply T.Milly T.Milly Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Exactly! 5 5points reply Julianne M Julianne M Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago That's how my mom is 1 1point reply Queenbee Queenbee Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Lol. Stop. Not all Italians or any race is a monolith. Some may not be inclusive. They sound insufferable. 1 1point reply MiriPanda MiriPanda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Firstly, 'Italian origin' means they are basically Americans with Italian ancestors, stop with this "I am xyz" nonsense when you are an American citizen. Secondly, you don't show up on short notice for dinner. Thirdly, why was SHE expected to prepare food when HIS parents showed up unexpectedly. 126 126points reply Giovanna Giovanna Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Well said! 28 28points reply Load More Replies... RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Totally agree with everything you said. I am a Brazilian, because I am from Brazil. I don't call myself a Spaniard because my great great great grandmother comes from Spain, or Portuguese because my great grandfather came from Portugal. I love both countries, but I hold no allegiance to them. Also, I would love for somebody to order me a pizza. Finally, if my parents came uninvited and expected dinner, me within the hour (depending upon how long it takes her to strangle me to death first). If her mother came uninvited for dinner, I would be very upset too. Who does that? 14 14points reply RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Also, if I go to somebody's house and they serve me black beans and rice, I would be very happy. Thank you! 14 14points reply Ramona Jackson Ramona Jackson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Black beans & rice, YUM!! 4 4points reply TheElderNom TheElderNom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) I think second generation can still call themselves whatever country their parents are from, providing they have a strong culture of it at home. I'm half Danish, but aside from some Danish food preferences I'm very Swedish and I identify as such. Of course the difference between Swedish and Danish is only important to us Scandinavians. 9 9points reply MimSorensson MimSorensson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) Well, yeah - even totally swedish me care little about the difference between us and Denmark, honestly (although the very different languages can be a problem). And I mean - if I went to surprise visit someone and they were not only kind enough to serve me food when I came basically unannounced, but even ordered something kind of swedish (if we pretend that’d be possible) I’d take that as a kind gesture. Respect in a way, even. I wouldn’t take it as a goddamned insult, that’s just weird. 6 6points reply TheElderNom TheElderNom Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I agree. If someone served sill and potatoes I'd find it very weird and it really isn't my favourite food, but hey free food! 4 4points reply Tina Newman Tina Newman Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago They invited themselves to dinner. Who does that? I have been married 34 years, my mother in law would never just drop in and expect dinner. 8 8points reply Howaboutno Howaboutno Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago I don't disagree with you, but the fact that his parents called her American would imply that they themselves aren't 2 2points reply Thomas Thomas Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Many of the "Italian origin" Americans, when they actually come in Italy for vacation, don't have an effing clue about the actual Italian culture. Especially the cuisine. 0 0points reply Theresa Carroll Theresa Carroll Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago (edited) In all actuality we are all mutts.. a lil bit of everything.. that's why I think every single person in the US should take an ancestry or 23 n me DNA test.. cause then it might just shut everyone up, people will realize we are all the same a bunch of mutts with like 20 different lineages... 0 0points reply IKaRu IKaRu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Basically Americans trying to feel offended lol 0 0points reply Ramona Jackson Ramona Jackson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago They were looking very hard for an excuse to dislike this person. 5 5points reply Leo Domitrix Leo Domitrix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 weeks ago Let's recap: "Hi, we came over with no notice! Feed us" was met with pizza. And if it was Chinese or Thai or Indian or German they'd be fine? No. The real objection they have is to the OP, and it's obvious they raised their son to be a twit, so... Dump the boyfriend, let him find someone his parents think is a "nice Italian girl". I've seen this game played with people of dang near every ancestry, be they in the UK or US or Canada or wherever. "Oh but we're (fill in blank) so you should be with someone who meets our (very narrow demanding) expectations" is just a parental way of saying "we'll control you till we die". IMHO. 73 73points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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