133 Stupidly Funny Things People Actually Wrote On Their CVs Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 133 Stupidly Funny Things People Actually Wrote On Their CVs Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 29points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter Funny, Quotes3 days ago

133 Stupidly Funny Things People Actually Wrote On Their CVs

Aivaras Kaziukonis and
Melanie Gervasoni
Publish Not your original work? Add source The job market is a wild, wild world. On one side, you can see people trying their hardest to look polished and professional, the very best version of themselves, to impress the HR staff. On the other side, you see these misfits who exude chaotic energy and think irony and brutal honesty will get them the job, even at the cost of sounding ridiculous. And guess what? Sometimes that works! Some people, though, really go all out to make an impression with a funny resume that has hiring managers in stitches. From putting "being sober" as an achievement to having "donating blood" as a hobby, some resume quotes are so outrageous they're actually good. And that's exactly what we're gonna get you in today! We scoured the web to find the funniest CV quotes ever. Call them resume fails, but these job applications are still a riot. And even if they didn't get these people the jobs they were looking for, these job resumes certainly got the web's attention for how stupidly funny they are. Scroll down below to see how these applicants took job-seeking to another level with their sense of humor! This post may include affiliate links. #1 KEY SKILLS – “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.” Report 27points POST N Miller N Miller Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I'd hope this is a joke. The CV is not the place for it. 7 7points reply #2 SKILLS – “Speak English and Spinach.” Report 19points POST Anonymous Anonymous Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Are we now discriminating against the eloquent *SPINACH* 6 6points reply View more comments #3 KEY SKILLS - “Quick learner, good at mats and speling.” Report 18points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Tbf, mats & speling's sounds like a dope a*s witchy bookstore or hipster inn travern. 3 3points reply #4 REASONS FOR LEAVING MY JOB - "Maturity leave.” Report 16points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Fair. Maybe they had somethings they had to grow through. If you judge them for this, then you need to go on leave too. 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #5 COVER LETTER – “Dear Sir/Modem.” Report 15points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Fixed it for ya! "Dear Siri/Modem." 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments #6 GAP IN CV – “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.” Report 15points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Fair enough. 11 11points reply View More Replies... View more comments #7 WORK EXPERIENCE - “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people.” Report 15points POST Plastic Leaf (They/Them) Plastic Leaf (They/Them) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Calling someone a "vegetable" is a thing it means "a person who has permanently lost consciousness, due to damage to the brain, but remains alive; sometimes continued life requires support by machinery such as breathing tubes. Such a person is said to be in a vegetative state." 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8 EXPERIENCE - “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.” Report 15points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Yo! Mothaship say "she' on the way." 3 3points reply View more comments #9 JOB HISTORY – “Left last four jobs only because the managers were completely unreasonable.” Report 14points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago In this day and age, that is believable. It doesn't say how long they were there or how old this person is. This could be someone who did 2 to 5, even more years at 4 different places. Yall know how management be. 4 4points reply View more comments #10 SKILLS – “I have a lot of integrity so I promise not to steal office supplies and take them home.” Report 14points POST im under ur bed hon im under ur bed hon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Alright, then! Seems totally reasonable. 4 4points reply View more comments #11 ACHIEVEMENTS – “I came first in the school long-distance race.” Report 13points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago ACHIEVEMENTS: "I came first." 6 6points reply View more comments #12 HOBBIES – “Horse riding, like going pub when haven't got my kids. Looking after kids and doing stuff with them when they ain't at school.” Report 13points POST Hugh Cookson Hugh Cookson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Honest. 3 3points reply View more comments #13 ACHIEVEMENTS – “Being sober.” Report 13points POST Hono Klatuu Hono Klatuu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago For people that struggled with addiction in the the past being sober is a major achievement. It took lots of self-control, hard work and dedication. Good qualities for a job 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14 HOBBIES – “Space Travel.” Report 13points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Can you teach me your ways? 5 5points reply #15 EDUCATION – “University: August 1890 to May 1993.” Report 13points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Plot Twist. He WAS the University. 9 9points reply View more comments #16 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Night stalker in Tesco.” Report 13points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Creeper 2 2points reply View more comments #17 EXPERIENCE - “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.” Report 13points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I feel like this needs more context. Without it reads as if the person is entitled. But if you have a computer dad, then you (unwinllingly) spent your time learning everything about a computer, and even doing the blind keyboard typing test. -Child of a Computer Programmer Dad. 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18 SKILLS – “I have technical skills that will simply take your breath away.” Report 12points POST im under ur bed hon im under ur bed hon Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Hmm….I wonder what kind of skills? 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19 SKILLS – “I am a rapid typist.” Report 12points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I read rabid 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #20 COVER LETTER – “I’m submitting the attached copy of my CV for your consumption.” Report 12points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Nom nom nom. Your CV was great but needed more seasoning. 7 7points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21 CURRENT SALARY – “£28,000. Salary desired: £170,000.” Report 12points POST Bored_Panda Bored_Panda Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago At least they are telling the truth ?‍ 6 6points reply View more comments #22 PERSONAL PROFILE – “I’m a lean, mean, marketing machine.” Report 12points POST Tinykame Tinykame Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Hired! 3 3points reply #23 DESIRED POSITION – “Profreader.” Report 12points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I is proppa gud att proff reeding. 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24 KEY SKILLS – “Grate communication skills.” Report 12points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago This could mean that their voice is "grating on the ears." Don't be surprised if I told ya so. 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #25 ACHIEVEMENTS - “Nominated for prom queen.” Report 12points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago ACHIEVEMENTS: "Successfully doing nothing longer than anyone else." 6 6points reply View More Replies... View more comments #26 OBJECTIVE - “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!” Report 11points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Fair enough. 4 4points reply View more comments #27 APPLICATION - “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” Report 11points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago im just a simple blob, but every now and then I spice it by becoming a human sex. 4 4points reply View more comments #28 EMAIL ADDRESS – "Lazysod@……" Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Maybe they garden. 2 2points reply #29 JOB HISTORY – “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Mhmm..words. 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #30 MARITAL STATUS:– “Celibate.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Facts 1 1point reply #31 SKILLS – “I can type without looking at the keyboard.” Report 10points POST Sanchi Sanchi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago I’m trying to type this with g now eyes cmosed 1 1point reply View more comments #32 COVER LETTER – “Please disregard the attached CV; it’s totally outdated.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That's so 90s. 2 2points reply #33 HOBBIES – “Running, editing video, cooking, writing, and wondering.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Free your mind! 2 2points reply View more comments #34 COVER LETTER – “Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.” Report 10points POST Hugh Cookson Hugh Cookson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Ah hey, 14 jobs is nothing !! Over my 45 + years in employment, I have had over 120 jobs over about 30 job titles in different industry / service sectors. Most times doing what I want to do, other times doing what I need to do to make enough to pay the rent and get by, sometimes earning a shed load of money, other times just about earning enough to eat and put fuel in the car whilst living in it !! Nothing wrong with changing jobs. 1 1point reply View more comments #35 EXPERIENCE - “Stalking, shipping & receiving.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago How to politely say, "Human Trafficking." 2 2points reply #36 INTERESTS - “Gossiping.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Same tho. 3 3points reply View more comments #37 SALARY REQUIREMENTS - “The higher the better.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago (edited) They said what they said. And most importantly, what I need to say. 4 4points reply View more comments #38 HOBBIES - “Mushroom hunting.” Report 10points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago S.O to all our g's who died to make this safe and possible for us. Ifykyk. 2 2points reply #39 EDUCATION - “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.” Report 10points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago LMAO. 0 0points reply #40 EMAIL ADDRESS – "homeboy@……" Report 9points POST Miku Jackobs Miku Jackobs Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago [email protected] sounds like he does sexy and disgusting things with mail. 1 1point reply #41 REASON FOR LEAVING – “After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.” Report 9points POST West Hermans West Hermans Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Shepherd? 0 0points reply #42 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Responsibilities included recruiting, interviewing, and executing final candidates.” Report 9points POST #43 REASON FOR LEAVING – “Responsibility makes me nervous.” Report 9points POST #44 HOBBIES - “Getting drunk every night down by the water, playing my guitar, and smoking pot.” Report 9points POST Luke T Luke T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Applying for the job of drummer or guitarist in the 80s? 2 2points reply #45 OBJECTIVE - “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.” Report 9points POST Trophy Husband Trophy Husband Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 days ago I only get one money at my job. I think my boss gets 2 moneys. To get 3 moneys, you need to run the company! 3 3points reply View more comments #46 AWARDS - “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.” Report 9points POST Russ Kincade Russ Kincade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Hobbies - Watching "Cool Hand Luke". 1 1point reply View more comments #47 QUALIFICATIONS – “Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.” Report 8points POST #48 HOBBIES – “Painting my toenails in varying colors.” Report 8points POST S Mi S Mi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Are we judging hobbies? I think this is fun 2 2points reply View more comments #49 COVERING LETTER – “Looking for a party-time position.” Report 8points POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Sounds legit, if he/she means he's not an introvert ( like me ). 0 0points reply #50 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Dispensed medication and passed out.” Report 8points POST #51 JOB TITLE – “Ass. Manager.” (Possibly meant assistant manager? At least I hope so). Report 8points POST N Miller N Miller Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Yes, common abbreviation. Immature hiring manager here. 2 2points reply #52 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Please note from my CV I have 6 years of buying, negotiating, and sock-control experience.” Report 8points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Does this have anything to do with your dryer? 1 1point reply #53 HOBBIES - “Having a good time.” Report 8points POST Alice In_Hell Alice In_Hell Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Woot woot! ? 0 0points reply #54 QUALIFICATIONS - “Twin sister has an accounting degree.” Report 8points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Let's bring her in. 2 2points reply #55 REASON FOR LEAVING – “It was hard work.” Report 7points POST #56 PERSONAL PROFILE – “I will be no stranger to double-entry. I love numbers, and my wife and I love journals and ledgers! Can also do tricky sums when I put my mind to it. Computer literate.” Report 7points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Does your wife enjoy double entry? 4 4points reply View More Replies... View more comments #57 COVERING LETTER – “This is my CV I am interested in any job opening use have available if u could please send a verification that you received the email” Report 7points POST Wondering Alice Wondering Alice Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Any one else think this is someone on job seekers allowance who does not want a job but needs proof they are looking. 3 3points reply View More Replies... View more comments #58 KEY SKILLS – “Perfectionist with a keen I for details.” Report 7points POST Stormifyed Stormifyed Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 2 days ago (edited) Eye have that two 3 3points reply #59 KEY SKILLS: “I would like to assure you that I am a hardly working person.” Report 7points POST Russ Kincade Russ Kincade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago You will be lucky if you can get him to work for you. 1 1point reply #60 HOBBIES – “Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians.” Report 7points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Reminds me of the time Moss got interested in German cooking. 3 3points reply #61 SIZE OF EMPLOYER: “Very tall, probably over 6’5.″ Report 7points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago He is the World's Tallest Dwarf. 0 0points reply #62 SKILLS – From an IT Engineer, “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” Report 7points POST #63 KEY ACHIEVEMENTS – “Oversight of entire department.” Report 7points POST Luke T Luke T Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago He was the oversight 0 0points reply #64 KEY SKILLS – “Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details.” Report 7points POST Francine Govan Francine Govan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Oh dear ... 0 0points reply #65 KEY SKILLS – “Good people skills, except when people get on my nerves. Which is hardly ever, no more often than once every ten minutes.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Not too much, then? 0 0points reply #66 KEY SKILLS – “I am a great team player I am.” Report 7points POST Francine Govan Francine Govan Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago There are TWO "I"s in their "team"! 1 1point reply View more comments #67 COVER LETTER – “I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Like, bring it to bankruptcy. 0 0points reply #68 COVER SKILLS – “Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!” Report 7points POST Hugh Cookson Hugh Cookson Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Don't call me shorty !! 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #69 PERSONAL PROFILE – “I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago As if. 0 0points reply #70 COVER LETTER – "Why should you employ me? I bring doughnuts on Friday.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago My son's first job offered BBQ and donuts every day. He took it for the summer. 0 0points reply #71 WORK EXPERIENCE - “Service for the old man to check they are still alive or not.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago He must be dead if you're no longer working for the old man. 2 2points reply #72 OTHER INTERESTS - “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”. Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Who typed your CV??? 2 2points reply View More Replies... View more comments #73 OBJECTIVE - “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.” Report 7points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago TMI. 0 0points reply #74 APPLICATION - "How large was the department you worked in with your last company?" “A: 3 stories.” Report 7points POST #75 HOBBIES – “My interests include cooking dogs and interesting people.” Report 6points POST Russ Kincade Russ Kincade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Eats, shoots, and leaves. (Old panda joke) 2 2points reply View more comments #76 COVERING LETTER – “I am extremely loyal to my current employer….Feel free to ring my office if you are interested in my CV.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Two opposites. 0 0points reply #77 KEY ACHIEVEMENTS – “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.” Report 6points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago We all received a plague just recently. 2 2points reply #78 EDUCATION – “I am about to enroll in a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Maybe you should go with English courses too. 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #79 HOBBIES - “Donating blood – 12 liters so far.” Report 6points POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago 12 liters ? Only your own or...... ?? 1 1point reply #80 WORK EXPERIENCE – “I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Interesting. 2 2points reply #81 KEY SKILLS – “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.” Report 6points POST #82 KEY SKILLS – “I am relatively intelligent, obedient, and loyal as a puppy.” Report 6points POST harpling harpling Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Not as loyal as an adult dog? 0 0points reply View More Replies... View more comments #83 EMAIL ADDRESS – "dumbblonde@……." Report 6points POST #84 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Child care provider, organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.” Report 6points POST #85 ACHIEVEMENTS – “Planned building of new building at £2.5 million over budget.” Report 6points POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago That's cheap compared to some (government) projects. 0 0points reply #86 KEY SKILLS – “I am quick at typing, about 30 word pers minute, 45 with strong coffee.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago LOL. That's so slow. 5 5points reply #87 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.” Report 6points POST #88 KEY SKILLS – “I am a tiger when needed, but otherwise a pussycat.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Gentle or rough? I can be both. 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out #89 REASON FOR LEAVING – “I didn't give the company my full effort and received no chance of carer advancement in return.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Kif-Kif 0 0points reply #90 REFERENCES – “Clare” (We might need a little more info). Report 6points POST #91 KEY SKILLS – “Very experienced with out-house computers.” Report 6points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I find out-house computers are very bog standard. 2 2points reply #92 REASON FOR LEAVING – “Company insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Again, let's define unreasonable. 1 1point reply #93 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Worked in an office where I carried out my own accountant.” Report 6points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago "Put me down! Help! I'm being kidnapped!" 5 5points reply View More Replies... View more comments #94 COVER LETTER – “Sorry for any incontinence.” Report 6points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Did you pee all over your CV? 4 4points reply #95 KEY SKILLS – “I supervise employees with the iron fist!” Report 6points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago (edited) You're supposed to wear a velvet glove over it though. 3 3points reply #96 EDUCATION – “Have repeated courses repeatedly.” Report 6points POST #97 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Filing, billing, printing, and coping.” Report 6points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Coping? That is a rare skill these days. 0 0points reply #98 SALARY DESIRED - “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.” Report 6points POST See Also on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling #99 OBJECTIVE - “Student today. Vice president tomorrow.” Report 6points POST #100 ACCOMPLISHMENTS - “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.” Report 6points POST #101 EXPERIENCE - “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.” Report 6points POST #102 HOBBIES – “I like playing sports, which I fined gives me a winning appetite for life.” Report 5points POST Russ Kincade Russ Kincade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago My name Herschel Walker and I be honorary sheriff and I be good senator. 0 0points reply #103 SKILLS – “Fantastic ability in multi-tasting.” Report 5points POST Russ Kincade Russ Kincade Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Nom Nom Nom. 1 1point reply #104 STRENGTHS – “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.” Report 5points POST #105 KEYS SKILLS – "Keeping family home clean, tidy and hygienic undertaking basic DIY. Operating domestic tasks like cleaning, washing, and cooking. Dealing with emergencies smoothly. Dealing with health issues, supervising, supporting, guiding, and organizing children." Report 5points POST Jay Cox Jay Cox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I see nothing wrong with this. Running a household is a skill. 14 14points reply View More Replies... View more comments #106 CV GAP – "Candidate explained his gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for 3 months!" Report 5points POST GB GB Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. 1 1point reply #107 PRINTED CV – "Candidate sent over their CV printed on the back of their current employers headed company paper." Report 5points POST #108 COVER LETTER – “I have guts, drive, ambition, and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago We know. 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples #109 AWARDS – “National record for eating 23 pancakes in 2 minutes.” Report 5points POST Мара Гончарова Мара Гончарова Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 3 days ago The same person, who ate an enormous amount of eggs, I presume?.. 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #110 KEY SKILLS – “I am very used to working with thigh schedules.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago No wings? 0 0points reply View more comments #111 NUMBER OF DEPENDENTS – “40.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Yikes! The whole village! 0 0points reply #112 KEY SKILLS – “Being bilingual in 3 languages.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Trilingual maybe? 0 0points reply #113 KEY SKILLS – “My qualifications include close attention to detail.” Report 5points POST #114 WORK EXPERIENCE – “Whilst working in the hairdressers I had to deal with a lot of old biddies.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I'm so fed-up with them! 0 0points reply #115 EXPERIENCE - “Chapter president, 1887-1992.” Report 5points POST #116 SKILS - “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Is this a thing now? 0 0points reply #117 CAREER - “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.” Report 5points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Now I'm ready to blow up! 0 0points reply #118 BACKGROUND - “28 dog years of experience in sales (four humans).” Report 5points POST I love my golden retriever I love my golden retriever Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 15 hours ago What a strange way to measure time….especially in a job application sheesh 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) #119 ABOUT ME – “My favorite color is Toupe, cos it rhymes with Dope.” Report 4points POST #120 PERSONAL PROFILE – “I do have convictions (drug offenses) which are spent some 30 years ago for when I was 16-18 and have a caution for 4 years ago for criminal damage.” Report 4points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Next. 0 0points reply #121 HOBBIES – “Marital Arts” (Possibly meant martial arts?) Report 4points POST #122 EMAIL ADDRESS – "Batfacedgirl@……….." Report 4points POST #123 EMPLOYMENT HISTORY – “Whilst working in this role, I had intercourse with a variety of people.” Report 4points POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I'm curious about the role.... 3 3points reply #124 KEY SKILLS – “But wait… there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.” Report 4points POST Nathaniel Nathaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago For just £79.99! 2 2points reply #125 JOB HISTORY – “Promoted to area manger to oversee 37 storefronts.” Report 4points POST #126 COVER LETTER – “I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral, and proactive problem solver.” Report 4points POST harpling harpling Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago (edited) "... and that is why I am the perfect candidate to be a thesaurus editor." 8 8points reply View more comments #127 COVER LETTER - “I’m submitting my CV to spite my lack of C++ and HTML experience.” Report 4points POST #128 HOBBIES – “Relaxing with family and friends watching action movies.” Report 4points POST Metaniel Metaniel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Not only sounds legit, but why do we still need to add hobbies to CV? 1 1point reply See Also on Bored Panda 50 People Who Are Having A Terrible Day At Work 30 Mistakes Made By Designers And Architects Who Didn’t Think Of The Person Who’d Be Using Their Designs #129 ACHIEVEMENTS - “Finished eighth in my class of ten.” Report 4points POST #130 SKILLS - “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.” Report 4points POST #131 EDUCATION - “I possess a moderate education but am willing to learn more.” Report 4points POST #132 BAD TRAITS - “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.” Report 4points POST #133 EMAIL ADDRESS – "hotsexyluv@……." Report 3points POST Hey! Hey! Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Probably working with the other one above. 0 0points reply Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Aivaras Kaziukonis Aivaras Kaziukonis Author, BoredPanda staff Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. Read more » Melanie Gervasoni Follow Unfollow Melanie Gervasoni Writer, BoredPanda staff Copywriter and content writer who plans to visit all the countries in the world. Obsessed with oversize hoodies. Very loud, like every Italian.

Melanie spends most of her time in front of a screen, just noting some ideas she could use in her articles. When she's not writing, she watches TV series, plays video games, learns some Spanish (thanks, Duolingo!), and looks for the perfect music playlist on Deezer. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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Employee They Disrespected I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics) Share your thoughts POST Jason Melvil Jason Melvil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I once had a CV where someone wrote: Skills - I read two newspapers every day 0 0points reply Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Achievement: I won every participation trophy 0 0points reply POST Jason Melvil Jason Melvil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago I once had a CV where someone wrote: Skills - I read two newspapers every day 0 0points reply Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Achievement: I won every participation trophy 0 0points reply Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Man’s Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples 50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day Photoshop Troll Who Takes Photo Requests Too Literally Strikes Again, And The Result Is Hilarious (17 Pics) Popular on Bored Panda Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them 32-Year-Old Independent Modern Woman Draws Comics On Her Observations About Society (30 New Pics) Employee Gets Told They're "Replaceable", So They Play Along And It Ruins The Company User Submissions The Best Microscopic Photos From The Nikon Small World Photomicrography Competition 2022 (92 Pics) I Am So Passionate About Creating Mystical Art, Here Are Some Of The Magical Notebooks I Have Made (23 New Pics) 30 Comics About Making It Through Life While Fighting Mental Health Issues By This Artist “I Own An Official Nanosecond”: 35 Rare Items Owned By Our Community I Photographed This Ukrainian Village Because It Is My Solace That Inspires Me (38 pics) By Changing His Lifestyle And Eating Habits At Age 60, Steve Ramsden Has Successfully Lost Over 60 Lbs And Now Has A Body Of A Bodybuilder Almost finished... 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