30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone As Pointed Out By Folks Online Bored Panda

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone As Pointed Out By Folks Online Bored Panda

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda 30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone As Pointed Out By Folks Online Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 78points x Facebook Pinterest Twitter People, Relationships2 days ago

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone As Pointed Out By Folks Online

Oleg Tarasenko and
Monika Pašukonytė
Publish Not your original work? Add source Love at first sight, of course, sometimes happens to people, but is this enough for a strong, healthy and happy relationship? Yes, sometimes a kind of spark runs between people who have known each other for just a few minutes, but the flame flared up from it can just as quickly go out. There are actually many reasons for this. A person can be incredibly beautiful on the outside, but be an absolute jerk by their nature. You may not share some beliefs with another person, certain habits may annoy you so much... In the end, you may root for different teams - this also happens and sometimes leads to a breakup, trust us. In any case, there are various things that can signal that something is totally off. "Just stop, turn around and leave right now before it gets worse!" they say. But how do you recognize such signs, especially if you are not an overly perceptive person? In the AskReddit community, a special thread has recently appeared, just dedicated to these red flags. Its author originally asked the question: "What's a dealbreaker when it comes to dating?" and as of today, the thread boasts over 6.0K upvotes and about the same number of different comments. Of course, not all of these comments are equally wholesome, and even more so, not all of them should be taken as a guide to action. To make it easier for you to read, Bored Panda has compiled a list of the most popular, useful and sometimes even funny signs that serve as a clear signal to a variety of people - it's time to end your relationship with this person! So feel free to scroll to the very end of the list, mark the submissions you like or believe the most and, of course, write your own red flags in the comments. If, of course, you have at least one. More info: Reddit This post may include affiliate links. #1

Treating Animals Poorly

treating animals poorly HeartStarHeart , benjamin.choi Report 188points POST Wendy Bolam Wendy Bolam Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Nonononono... I can't get into what I would do to the sick lowlife abusers. 36 36points reply View more comments #2

Littering

Littering Low_Expensive , Stephan Ridgway Report 144points POST Sans Serif Sans Serif Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago WRONG for decades! Inexcusable in ALL regards! 18 18points reply View more comments #3

Putting One s Hands On Another Person

Don’t ever put your hands on me. I can’t be serious enough.

I don’t care about your emotions. Don’t care if it was a 1/10th of a second of insanity or a miscommunication or you thought I was cheating. Don’t ever put your hands on me. I spent too much time as a child dealing with people who hit me and I’ll be damned if I let it happen again. There is zero excuse for adults to hit each other. Dr_Garp , Ksayer1 Report 137points POST JMil JMil Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Oh geez, "hands on me" is a euphemism. At first I thought it was a little intense if a hug or pat on the back would be a game-changer. But, yeah, that makes sense. 56 56points reply View More Replies... View more comments #4

Overly Extravagant Beliefs

Trump supporters, conspiracy theorists, anti-science views. scatteredloops , Gage Skidmore Report 130points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago On religion too. 21 21points reply View more comments #5

Being An Overly Entitled Person

Being a d**k. Common symptoms include being rude to people in the service industry, ridiculous levels of self importance, lack of compassion, etc. don’t be a d**k. acetroxel , Consumerist Dot Com Report 121points POST Bienlunée Bienlunée Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 21 hours ago Lesbian here. I’d date a flat earther dude before some b***h who talks down to people there to help her. If she treats people like that, how could I trust her with my cat or dog?? Hell, no. Kyrie, call me. 0 0points reply View more comments #6

Being A Flat Earther

Flat earther karmaredemption , repaze premier Report 116points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago being a headless roach, a flat earther is actually my kind of people 20 20points reply View More Replies... View more comments #7

Open Mouth Chewing

Open mouth chewing. miku_dominos , Tambako The Jaguar Report 110points POST Orbitale Orbitale Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago That ! It drive me insane 14 14points reply View More Replies... View more comments #8

Different Beliefs On Having Children

As someone who doesn't want children, dating someone who does is a dealbreaker. Suffered a couple broken hearts over having to make this decision... _JazminBianca , Fanny Report 101points POST Lisa H Lisa H Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago 100%. This needs to be a mutual agreement. If you're with someone who wants children, but you don't, then, sorry, but the relationship will not work out. You can have everything else in common and be madly attracted to each other, but the decision to have children is HUGE. I cannot emphasize this enough. This is not something that can be negotiated. In the end, one of you will end up resenting the other person over this issue no matter what. There cannot be a debate over this. 45 45points reply View more comments #9

Narcissism

Narcissism. afisaaaaa , Lisa Zins Report 101points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago The cat tho'... as if the reason of cat owner's existence was any other than to make cats feel superior. 15 15points reply View More Replies... View more comments #10

Mind Games

Mind games. If you still want to do that in your 20's or 30's you are not mentally old enough to be with me. boopnsnootshaha , Romain Toornier Report 99points POST Headless Roach Headless Roach Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. 15 15points reply View More Replies... View more comments #11

Not Initiating Literally Anything

They don't initiate ANYTHING such as dates or intimacy Blackcore8 , freestocks.org Report 93points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago This is not a deal breaker for me. Maybe a deal breaker for someone about me. 9 9points reply View more comments #12

Attempting To Justify Any Behavior By Coincidence

If you expect me to excuse s***ty behavior because of the position the stars were in when you were born. xJD88x , Nicholas Jones Report 85points POST Wendy Bolam Wendy Bolam Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Why do people actually do that. They act terribly then try to excuse therir behaviour bysaying, oh sorry I'm abit loud and fiesty because my starsign is Leo. OK Well I am a bull, should I come charging at you and put you flat on ya a*s with my head... idiots 18 18points reply View More Replies... View more comments #13

Poor Dental Hygiene

Not brushing your teeth / poor dental hygiene on a regular basis Ohyeahimoverhereyeah , Tobias Begemann Report 84points POST $cagsy $cagsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago As a Brit, I'm keeping my mouth closed on this one. 28 28points reply View More Replies... View more comments #14

Being A Part Of Your Life Every Second

Having to constantly message and call because they want to be apart of your life every second. Even while working. Oh God. rnbwhtr , Jhaymesisviphotography Report 80points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Yeah no, this is terrifying 15 15points reply View more comments #15

Being Too Dramatical

Drama. At this point I’ve been through too much s**t and value my peace way more than I value someone I’ve just met’s feelings. lifesux254 , bluesbby Report 80points POST Slim Bluesbender Slim Bluesbender Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago You may be a dramaticalistiser. 8 8points reply View more comments #16

Consuming Alcohol Too Much

Alcoholics. I love to drink and smoke, but in moderation. That’s just me, though. qweenkunt , Dr. Matthias Ripp Report 73points POST T. Unnamable T. Unnamable Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Smoking cigarettes is a major turn-off for me. My parents smoked too much and I cannot stand the smell. 16 16points reply View more comments #17

Making Another Person Pay For Everything

Me paying for everything, all the time. PumpkinPatch404 , Morgan Report 72points POST $cagsy $cagsy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago You should always offer to go at the minimum 50/50. I consider you rude if you don't offer. 24 24points reply View More Replies... View more comments #18

A Bad Temper

A bad temper alval98 , storem Report 70points POST Lakota Wolf Lakota Wolf Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Hey! This is coat-ism against calicos here! ::points at photo:: We ALL know it's torties that have a bad tortitude, not calicos! 22 22points reply View More Replies... View more comments #19

Inconsistency In Behavior And Words

Inconsistency in behaviours and words. Nothing tires me out like people who are not clear in their intentions. Im not going to navigate in troubled waters, when I can swim in clear ones Geremia_Visconti , Wyatt Fisher Report 65points POST Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 20 hours ago I value myself too much to deal with anyone who behaves this way. I love that my life is low stress at this point and I am determined to keep it that way. 0 0points reply See Also on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective #20

Being A Fix Me Person

A ‘fix me’ person. I will support you to be your best. But I am not responsible to fix you. nadanope11 , Jay Reed Report 63points POST RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Didn't know this was a thing. I don't like the fix you people. If you don't like me now, you won't like me in two years. The opposite may be true though. 4 4points reply View More Replies... View more comments #21

Lack Of Accountability

Lack of accountability vi0letalien , Natasha Chub-Afanasyeva Report 63points POST Libstak Libstak Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago (edited) Yep stay away from someone who is always the victim with big stories of how every single ex hurt them. Especially when they claim they cant trust you going out with friends or even just dressing up and wearing make up to work because they have been hurt and cheated on before. 15 15points reply View More Replies... View more comments #22

Trying To Change You The Way They Want

When u notice that they want to change you into ways they like more, subtle hints at start but progressively they get more ballsy Draxxony , Laura Crowhurst Report 61points POST lauralett50 lauralett50 Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Big fat NOPE. 10 10points reply View more comments #23

Being Obsessed With Themselves

The date being obsessed with themselves or continually talking about their ex partners LMcGenius , Image Catalog Report 58points POST LapCat LapCat Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago (edited) Irony: I started seeing a guy in early March 2020, just as a “physical” relationship. We had each ended our relationship with our exes some months prior, each of us had been burned by them so-to-say. So we continuously talked shït about them…. normally this would be a turn-off for me had I been “hoping” for something more than physical with this guy. But over time, the physical relationship became something much more, especially after Covid lockdown took effect. It took a few months before we gradually stopped talking about our exes altogether and were falling in love with each other. It was unexpected and dare I say, organic? Because we got together with ZERO expectations except for sex. Fast forward: we’re now engaged and getting married in March 2023. 23 23points reply View More Replies... View more comments #24

Having No Beliefs No Interests And No Hobbies At All

Someone who doesn't believe in... anything. No passions, no interests, no stances on issues, just molding themselves to whatever they think I want to hear.

That's a person who A. Will be codependent because they've not developed a sense of self & will rely on me for all mental stimulation. Or B. A person who's secretly got s***ty views or toxic habits & is concealing them to try & get me invested.

Hard pass.

**Edit** wow this pissed off a very specific crowd. If you are shy or reserved, this is not about you. If you keep certain things back for when you're serious, this is also not about you. Stop acting like hit dogs.

No one is talking about a normal amount of caution.

This is a person who actually *cannot* express interest or belief or disbelief or anything in polite smalltalk. They don't have anything they do to tell you about, they can't express any likes or dislikes, they're not even all that interested in anything you say.

Like..whew. I'm an incredibly shy person out dating, calm down guys, I fully get it & this is not about us. AllPerspicacity , Mark Baylor Report 56points POST Buren Buren Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago (edited) I learned how to ride a motorcycle because of my second petty reason. First reason was to save a lot of valuable time, second reason was because I couldn't handle anymore conversation with this gal. She would reserve seat and sit next to me everyday, which was unavoidable because we relied on one bus at the same time everyday. But for the life of me, I couldn't find anything that 'click', she had no passion and interest in anything. The journey sucked my spirit out of me because regardless of that, she kept trying to connect and I had tried everything to find something mutual that remotely interesting and that didn't work because she didn't have her own opinion and agreed with everything I said. My bad, she's a great person, but I dreaded it daily. 9 9points reply View more comments See Also on Bored Panda Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves #25

Making Another Person Feel Unsafe

Well this will completely get buried, but I'll add mine here anyway for posterity.

- Anyone who makes me feel unsafe. Whether that's anger issues, boundary breaking, reckless lifestyle, woman bashing, or just a spidey sense, I'm out.

- People with no firm opinions or values, can't keep up any mildly challenging conversation. Life's more fun with those who dare think for themselves.

- Immaturity and codependence. I'm looking to pair up, not to parent.

- Grating on my nerves. I don't know, some people just annoy me in the longer term. Like they're too boisterous or crass. That one's on me, I'm sensitive.

- Petty meanness and dickishness. Spoiled adults who expect everyone in the service industry to kiss the ground they walk on. Who are snide to others. Who have something to prove all the time. Who regularly fail at life's empathy checks. It's pretty much the worst type of person imo.

- Me: sometimes I am the dealbreaker. When I'm not ready to be a good partner to someone else. Even though they're great and the timing just didn't line up. machiavellicopter Report 53points POST Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 20 hours ago I totally get this person. 0 0points reply #26

Dating Just To Get Healed From The Previous Relationship

As a young woman that has dipped her toes into dating. A deal breaker for me is someone who has just come out of a long committed relationship and is out dating without giving themselves a proper healing stage. isaboooty , Giuseppe Milo Report 52points POST AliJanx AliJanx Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Same holds true for divorced / separated or recently widowed. Give them plenty of space... 12 12points reply View more comments #27

Being Clearly Unable To Have Time To Develop A Relationship

being clearly unable to have time to develop a relationship. We all have jobs,hobbies and a social life. if you can't administrate your time to make an effort into getting involved with me, I will walk out of your life really quickly
Paula_Sub , https://flic.kr/p/aJcK8M Report 49points POST Lisa H Lisa H Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago In addition, consistently failing to put my needs first. Not saying mine should ALWAYS be first, that would be selfish. But if I am always last on your list of priorities, then why are you even with me? 10 10points reply View more comments #28

Using Mental Illness As Part Of One s Identity

Using their mental illness as part of their identity. No attempt to truly address it and leverage their illness to guilt others. Toogern , ttarasiuk Report 48points POST Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin Spice Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Mentally ill person here. My mental disorder does not excuse any assholish behavior that I exhibit. If you see me being mean, call me out, please! If I'm not trying to be mean, I'll apologize and clarify. 32 32points reply View More Replies... View more comments #29

Not Respecting Boundaries

i have a lot, but these are the main ones.

when they're obsessive and expect me to talk and stick by them 24/7.. i am a person, i have a life. they are not my world, theyre just a part of it.

when they get jealous easily and dont communicate with me.

when they don't respect boundaries.

when they dont know how to communicate properly and only think of themself. basicallyimgay , Francesco Report 47points POST RafCo (he/him) RafCo (he/him) Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago All of those sound like the same thing. 1 1point reply View More Replies... View more comments #30

Being Mean To Their Mom

If they’re mean to their mom for no reason. tinytatofish , Ivan Lapenkov Report 43points POST Mabelbabel Mabelbabel Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago This is a difficult one. I've been estranged from my mother for many years. My partner really struggled with this, he simply could not accept that she had been abusive and was full of "but she loves you deep down, she's your mother, you must have misinterpreted/misremembered/misunderstood, she was doing her best..." etc etc. When meeting her for the first time, she can come across as a nice old lady, and she can maintain that facade, so people who only get to know her superficially, think she's fine. I've absolutely no doubt that my refusal to get back in contact can come across to others as being mean for no reason. There are always reasons, but people outside the relationship can't see or understand them, so don't judge on initial impressions. 57 57points reply View More Replies... View more comments Note: this post originally had 34 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Add Your Answer! Not your original work? Add source Publish Change image Upload Photo Ooops! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Upload Upload Edit Image Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Render conversation
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Title Update Oleg Tarasenko Oleg Tarasenko Writer, BoredPanda staff Oleg has master's degree in Economics he got long time ago in a city far, far away. Oleg also worked as a university teacher, sports writer and a BDSM* specialist for several IT companies.

After six years of making pub quizzez in Ukraine, Oleg joined Bored Panda team as a content creator. This panda (Pun? Duh!) is also a huge sports fan, being happy as a longtime member of WeDemBoys Community and Boston Celtics Nation as well.

During his downtime from work and parenting with three kids (twin daughters and a baby son), Oleg enjoys reading JKR, JRRT, GRRM and other respective abbreviations. Also interested in history and graphic design (and the history of graphic design too)... Read more » Monika Pašukonytė Monika Pašukonytė Author, BoredPanda staff Hey! I'm a photo editor. In my free time, I love going to art galleries, exhibitions, concerts or just hanging out in nature with my friends. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! 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My ex made it seem like the whole world was against him; he never did anything wrong and it was everyone else's fault when things went wrong. Everyone was against him, all his ex's were evil, how dare his landlord expect rent blah blah blah. He literally wouldn't take accountability for anything and it was everyone else's fault. I can't even imagine what type of monster he made me out to be when we broke up. His business went under and it was probably my fault because I was no longer there to help him or lend money. He was some piece of work 7 7points reply Demongrrrrl Demongrrrrl Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This. I was in a psychiatric hospital because of him, but he said that he was the victim and I was disregarding his needs. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Agfox Agfox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Treating retail staff poorly would have been a deal breaker for me. Also, not saying 'Please', 'Thank you', etc 4 4points reply Unknown Unknown Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago I mean, gaslighting on general, I guess. Especially since, based on the definition and context, you don't even realize until it's far too late, and then spend years agonizing if that was true, or if you really were wrong and stupid all along....and maybe I'm doing the same about this term: maybe it's my fault I was gaslit, I should've been better....etc... 2 2points reply Auntriarch Auntriarch Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 hours ago Takes years to get over doesn't it 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments POST Benita Valdez Benita Valdez Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 3 days ago Big red flag for me is someone who constantly plays the victim card. My ex made it seem like the whole world was against him; he never did anything wrong and it was everyone else's fault when things went wrong. Everyone was against him, all his ex's were evil, how dare his landlord expect rent blah blah blah. He literally wouldn't take accountability for anything and it was everyone else's fault. I can't even imagine what type of monster he made me out to be when we broke up. His business went under and it was probably my fault because I was no longer there to help him or lend money. He was some piece of work 7 7points reply Demongrrrrl Demongrrrrl Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This. I was in a psychiatric hospital because of him, but he said that he was the victim and I was disregarding his needs. 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Agfox Agfox Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago Treating retail staff poorly would have been a deal breaker for me. Also, not saying 'Please', 'Thank you', etc 4 4points reply Unknown Unknown Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 2 days ago I mean, gaslighting on general, I guess. Especially since, based on the definition and context, you don't even realize until it's far too late, and then spend years agonizing if that was true, or if you really were wrong and stupid all along....and maybe I'm doing the same about this term: maybe it's my fault I was gaslit, I should've been better....etc... 2 2points reply Auntriarch Auntriarch Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 6 hours ago Takes years to get over doesn't it 0 0points reply Load More Replies... Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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