Person Nopes Out From Boyfriend s Parents House After Meeting Them For The First Time Causing Relationship Drama Asks If They re A Jerk Bored Panda
Person Nopes Out From Boyfriend's Parents' House After Meeting Them For The First Time, Causing Relationship Drama, Asks If They're A Jerk Bored Panda Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app Continue in app Continue in browser Like what you're reading? Subscribe to our top stories Please enter email address By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. We respect your privacy. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Almost finished... To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Are you leaving already? Are you sure you want to post this? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted this warning is a mistake x x Let's fight boredom together! Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or Log In Don't have an account? Sign Up Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error()"> Become a member Sign Up Have an account? Login Forgot your password? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's Terms of Service 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Password reminder Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Send Have an account? Login Don't have an account? Sign Up Get our top 10 stories in your inbox: Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Please enter your email to complete registration Finish 0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass"> Activate to continue Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I have already activated my account Resend activation link We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide social media features, and analyze our traffic. You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Agree Bored Panda iOS App Available on App Store Continue in App Bored Panda Android App Available on Google Play Continue in App By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. You can change your preferences here. Agree BoredPanda Login Add Post Search ArtPhotographyAnimalsFunnyTravelIllustrationComicsDIYGood NewsParentingChallengeAsk Pandas More Featured Trending Latest Newsletter The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Bored Panda Person Nopes Out From Boyfriend’ s Parents’ House After Meeting Them For The First Time Causing Relationship Drama Asks If They’ re A Jerk Home Partnership Advertise Success stories Jobs About us Contact 143points 680 Other1 day ago
Rasa Žilinskaitė
A tenth of a second is all it takes for people to make an impression on a stranger from their face. So no wonder meeting your partner's family for the first time is such a nerve-racking experience! Even if you play out different scenarios countless times in your head up until stepping through their front door, first-impression jitters are bound to go up and down your spine. But as one recent story on the AITA subreddit shows, meeting your potential in-laws is a two-way street where unhinged behaviors seem to bubble their way to the surface. As the now-deleted user explains in the post that amassed 17.8k upvotes and 2.2k comments, things definitely didn't go as planned when they went to visit the family for Canadian Thanksgiving. "We were supposed to stay Sat, Sun and fly back afternoon Monday. I'm writing this Sun night already back in my own bed," they detailed. It turns out that the family was acting weird from the get-go, but things took an unexpected turn after they were asked to chip in for their portion of the holiday meal. Unsure of how they handled the situation, the user turned to the internet for perspective. Read on below to find out what happened, as well as our interview with relationship coach and narcissism hacker Dr. Nathalie Martinek, and let us know what you think in the comments.
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman
Image credits: [deleted] According to Dr. Nathalie Martinek, a narcissism hacker and relationship coach based in Melbourne, Australia, meeting a partner's family for the first time is always a stressful experience. "There are many possibilities of what you will experience," she told Bored Panda. "You're the new person being introduced to an established family system, it's normal to worry about being judged and deemed not good enough by their family." Unfortunately, your partner can intensify your worry by telling you something about their parents that paints them in a specific light. "You'll be coming into the first encounter with pre-formed judgments," Dr. Martinek explained. There's no way you can completely avoid the pre-meeting jitters, and let's face it, you're likely to be nervous. But some things that can help is to see yourself as good enough for your partner and remember that this encounter - which often feels like an audition - is a two-way street. Or, the coach said, "like you're interviewing your partner's family." "Like it or not, you're not just in a relationship with your partner. The success of your relationship is already influenced by your partner's relationship with their family and meeting them will show you exactly what you need to know to consider if your relationship has a future at all." Dr. Martinek pointed out that it's easy to understand the wish for a great first impression because how we begin a relationship shapes how it proceeds. In fact, she said the first interaction already establishes an image that is hard to shift. "Some families will put on a performance so that you can see how great they are only to discover over time how controlling and problematic they are in your relationship," she continued. "Others will be themselves and you will already be able to determine if your values are aligned… or not." No matter the situation, your relationship with potential in-laws will be rocky from the start if you don't share the same values. "If a family has already formed their opinion of you based on whatever their adult child told them and what they want to believe (ie. no one is good enough for my son/daughter!), if you don't act according to what they expect, they won't like you," Dr. Martinek said. The situation may reach a whole new level of complicated when your partner takes their side, just as the boyfriend in the AITA story. When this happens at the start of the relationship, Dr. Martinek offered one important piece of advice: "RUN!" "The biggest red flag of a difficult relationship to come is your partner defending their family's poor behavior. This shows you they haven't become independent from their family and their need for approval from their family/parents," the coach said, adding you will even be demonized if you challenge this codependent dynamic. Moreover, children of controlling or abusive parents often can't see this behavior clearly, and they "will likely protect them over protecting you, especially when the parents are being awful toward you." "There will always be drama because the parents will be working hard to convince your partner you're not good enough and you're the problem in the relationship," Dr. Martinek continued.
Even though first-time family meetings are notorious for turning into the least enjoyable relationship milestone, we still strive for things to go smoothly. Luckily, there are some steps you can take that make everything at least a little less stressful. First, acknowledge that you're entering an existing family system where your partner might play a specific role - and that it may be something you don't get to see when you're alone. "This gives you insight into whether the parent wants your partner to be truly independent or if you're a replacement for one of your partner's parents and playing out the parent's role in your relationship with each other." Speaking of the latter, when you feel like you must put on a performance to gain their approval instead of being accepted for who you are, you're setting unrealistic expectations you won't be able to sustain long term, Dr. Martinek argued. "This will result in arguments and conflict when you fail to live up to the standards you created." "It also means you don't feel safe being yourself because they're acting in ways that make you really uncomfortable. If that's the case, it will feel like torture spending longer periods of time with them in the future," she added. Another tip the relationship coach suggested is to have an honest conversation with your SO about what to expect - a bit of research can go a long way. A few things to consider: what they told them about you, how their family welcomes guests, what are their household rules, and what are their beliefs about relationships in their home. "Get as much information up front BEFORE you agree to meet them," Dr. Martinek advised. "If the person in the Reddit post knew that they would be sleeping in separate rooms, charged for Thanksgiving dinner and other unwelcome surprises, they would have likely declined and avoided the encounter altogether, and hopefully reflected on the future of the relationship with the partner." "Unfortunately, if you're not welcomed by your partner's family and their family is an important feature in their life, the relationship will be troubled and filled with drama. Life gives us enough drama and it's really helpful to navigate life's bumps with a partner who has the maturity to stand up to parents and have control over their own choices, instead of one who will bend to the will of their domineering, controlling and demanding parents," Dr. Martinek concluded.
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Rasa Žilinskaitė Rasa Žilinskaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Rasa is a photo editor at Bored Panda, they have a college degree in photography and are currently studying sewing. Ever since childhood Rasa was interested in visual arts, including painting, photography, knitting and so on. When not at work or studying they like to knitting, cooking and spending quality time with their cats. 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I thought Thanksgiving was meant to celebrate that the Pilgrims (or whoever) had such a bountiful harvest that they shared it with their neighbours, friends, even the Indegenous people. So apart from asking a guest for money, THIS should be the one holiday where it is TOTALLY inappropriate. Or am I wrong ?? 86 86points reply Alex Martin Alex Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It's been a tradition for a long time and the emphasis is more on getting together with family and friends and being thankful for being together and being in each other's lives. Asking for money is very strange. Either the bf didn't understand it's strange or was too clueless to explain it in advance or slip his parents the cover charge so they didn't embarrass his girlfriend. 48 48points reply Load More Replies... Tim Tim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago Lol... cover charge. 3 3points reply S Mi S Mi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is not about pilgrims, but is about the harvest. That's one of the reasons it's earlier, our harvest tends to be earlier. And yes, this is weird. Asking people to contribute is common, but a dish, drink, whatever. Not charging a fee (and a steep one at that)! 24 24points reply girlsrock4ever girlsrock4ever Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago These people are a**holes. They don't even qualify as cheap or stingy. It's a whole new level. The bar is so low it's at the bottom of the ocean, but these people went to the inner core of the earth. 13 13points reply Nicola Doyle Nicola Doyle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is a harvest festival in Oct and nothing to do with pilgrams unlike the US. I have never heard if paying though. Most Canadians would never treat a guest that way. Super wierd! 9 9points reply Florence O'Grady Florence O'Grady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago She went to Canada with her boyfriend to meet his family. She is an American and he isn't. Americans never ask an invited guest for money to cover their dinner at anytime, holiday or not. Definitely weird in any country. 9 9points reply Nathan Schinigoi Nathan Schinigoi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago I have a rather large extended family and we always have it at my grandma's. It's almost completely potluck and usually a few of us show up early to cook so grandma doesn't get stuck with all the work. Potluck is also nice for those with dietary restrictions like gluten intolerance or vegetarian so they know they will have something they can eat. 7 7points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That's a lie schools made up to cover up the genocide of the indigenous peoples. There were no natives invited to the first Thanksgiving. 5 5points reply Bill Allen Bill Allen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What? I thought it was the day before Black Friday! 4 4points reply Hoodoo Hoodoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 hours ago IMO, this would be considered cruel & rude anywhere. Deliberately makin a guest feel unwelcome is hostile behaviour no matter where it occurs. 2 2points reply Thatkamloopsguy Thatkamloopsguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It wasn't the pilgrimes that invited the native, it was the other way around. 2 2points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That didn't happen either. 3 3points reply Emie N. Emie N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is about celebrating harvest. American Thanksgiving is about caring and sharing I think? 2 2points reply Mario Strada Mario Strada Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This is just weird. The BF likely didn't know any better if he grew up with these people. My guess is that somehow this family managed to accumulate some friends. Stranger things have happened and keep happening. In their circle of friends, they have potluck BBQ and each guest pays for their portion. Weird, but if everyone agrees I am fine with it. Extending this "tradition" to out-of-town guests, let alone your possible DIL, is weird AF. My wife is Canadian, BTW. I spent many holidays as a guest of her family and no one inquired about the kilos of smack I usually carry with me on international flights and I was never presented with a bill for dinner. 58 58points reply XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago When I have people over, I provide the meal. If I have not had people around for a while, and I don't have time or cash, I'll just do something simple. Some Christmas holidays, we would all bring two courses and have a ten course banquet, everyone contributes, everyone gets to show off a bit. And no one person is left with the full work and hassle of doing too much. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Praecordia Praecordia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago But I think her bf does know it’s not normal. Like she said he has eaten at her parents house many times and was never asked to pay. If anything he should of just had the money for their portion set aside if he knew his parents would ask. But it is super weird that they would ask. 9 9points reply bob van wijk bob van wijk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago We always asked ppl to pay. That was as students. Someone cooked for everyone in the house and if you had a visitor, they could join for 3 guilders. That's now 1 euro 50. We all had 600 a month to spend with 350 or so rent. And if we go out with collegues now, everyone pays their own drinks and food. With a partner and inlaws this is very weird. Never seen that happen. A pot luck at a church. Everyone brings something, but if you have no cent, you aren't forced to bring something or pay. 7 7points reply Julia Sankaran Julia Sankaran Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Its extra weird bc they knew she was almost trapped there if she had to get another plane to leave. Glad she did though. If the BF knew they did this he shouldve just gave his parents 30 bucks before she even arrived. He cant help his parents weird behavior but he couldve mitigated it. 5 5points reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago The BF was living under a rock all his life, then. Does really want to marry a caveman? 1 1point reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago Correction: ....does OP really... 0 0points reply Linsey Linsey Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 hours ago Unless he was mentally challenged, he had to know that normal families don't act this way. Asking if you carry drugs in your luggage? Charging you for meal expenses? Kinda surprised they didn't wand her when she arrived at their door. 0 0points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What were they serving that was so costly, anyway? I'm sure I could do a Thanksgiving dinner for less than $30/head. 43 43points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Absolutely! I've been asking myself this same question... It almost seems like to me that she's being asked to pay half of the total cost of the Thanksgiving bill...I find this so crazy. His mother escorting OP out of her boyfriend's room while they were talking also...that's insane that he said and did nothing. Her boyfriend is a sad sorry excuse for a man and a partner to sit idly by, he's truly a joke. She did the only thing she could at that point to save herself from the horrifying behavior towards her and so glad she did. She surly saved herself from further nasty behavior that would have happened had she stayed. She must have felt like she was in a freaking nightmare until she got home. Poor girl, I hope she finds someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Tracy Kirkness Tracy Kirkness Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Yep, I live in Canada and our local pub was serving Thanksgiving dinner for $19.95. Another place that sells home cooked freezer meals had a 2 person tray for $15.95. maybe their turkey was dipped in gold? Maybe their dream was to own a restaurant and charging their guests is as close as they get? ? 8 8points reply D Roe D Roe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Premium caviar and champagne? 8 8points reply Bittersweetie Bittersweetie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Turkey truffles and crystal cranberries 6 6points reply Shane S Shane S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Oh I think they charge guests for all the groceries and justify it by saying that they did the labor of cooking 7 7points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago You're probably right. 7 7points reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It think it really depends, it can get really expensive really quick depending a lot on what you make. I went and priced out just the bird because I was curious. A 13 lb turkey can run anywhere here between $30-$70 depending on the store and then there's everything else you make as part of the spread. So, $30 x 4 = $120. Doesn't seem out of the realm of possibilities, especially with food costs being astronomical at the moment. What's weird to me is that the boyfriend didn't think to let her know in advance as clearly he knows that's not how *her* family works even if his does. Is this a cultural thing? And, what culture is he from? I imagine Canada has similarly lots of different cultures like the us does? 2 2points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Well, you know. Prep time, gas to the store and back, clean up... it all adds up :P 1 1point reply Linda Faix Linda Faix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 hours ago Agreed 0 0points reply Janet Pattison Janet Pattison Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 hours ago Excellent point however this isn't about money at all. It's about power and control. NTA for sure. The weirdo parents contol their son, & this is common & they were going to control u as well. I had a family member do a similar thing to me. Run away from these people as fast as you can. You are so incredibly smart to have left immediately! . 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago European here. I thought Thanksgiving was meant to celebrate that the Pilgrims (or whoever) had such a bountiful harvest that they shared it with their neighbours, friends, even the Indegenous people. So apart from asking a guest for money, THIS should be the one holiday where it is TOTALLY inappropriate. Or am I wrong ?? 86 86points reply Alex Martin Alex Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It's been a tradition for a long time and the emphasis is more on getting together with family and friends and being thankful for being together and being in each other's lives. Asking for money is very strange. Either the bf didn't understand it's strange or was too clueless to explain it in advance or slip his parents the cover charge so they didn't embarrass his girlfriend. 48 48points reply Load More Replies... Tim Tim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago Lol... cover charge. 3 3points reply S Mi S Mi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is not about pilgrims, but is about the harvest. That's one of the reasons it's earlier, our harvest tends to be earlier. And yes, this is weird. Asking people to contribute is common, but a dish, drink, whatever. Not charging a fee (and a steep one at that)! 24 24points reply girlsrock4ever girlsrock4ever Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago These people are a**holes. They don't even qualify as cheap or stingy. It's a whole new level. The bar is so low it's at the bottom of the ocean, but these people went to the inner core of the earth. 13 13points reply Nicola Doyle Nicola Doyle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is a harvest festival in Oct and nothing to do with pilgrams unlike the US. I have never heard if paying though. Most Canadians would never treat a guest that way. Super wierd! 9 9points reply Florence O'Grady Florence O'Grady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago She went to Canada with her boyfriend to meet his family. She is an American and he isn't. Americans never ask an invited guest for money to cover their dinner at anytime, holiday or not. Definitely weird in any country. 9 9points reply Nathan Schinigoi Nathan Schinigoi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago I have a rather large extended family and we always have it at my grandma's. It's almost completely potluck and usually a few of us show up early to cook so grandma doesn't get stuck with all the work. Potluck is also nice for those with dietary restrictions like gluten intolerance or vegetarian so they know they will have something they can eat. 7 7points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That's a lie schools made up to cover up the genocide of the indigenous peoples. There were no natives invited to the first Thanksgiving. 5 5points reply Bill Allen Bill Allen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What? I thought it was the day before Black Friday! 4 4points reply Hoodoo Hoodoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 hours ago IMO, this would be considered cruel & rude anywhere. Deliberately makin a guest feel unwelcome is hostile behaviour no matter where it occurs. 2 2points reply Thatkamloopsguy Thatkamloopsguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It wasn't the pilgrimes that invited the native, it was the other way around. 2 2points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That didn't happen either. 3 3points reply Emie N. Emie N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is about celebrating harvest. American Thanksgiving is about caring and sharing I think? 2 2points reply Mario Strada Mario Strada Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This is just weird. The BF likely didn't know any better if he grew up with these people. My guess is that somehow this family managed to accumulate some friends. Stranger things have happened and keep happening. In their circle of friends, they have potluck BBQ and each guest pays for their portion. Weird, but if everyone agrees I am fine with it. Extending this "tradition" to out-of-town guests, let alone your possible DIL, is weird AF. My wife is Canadian, BTW. I spent many holidays as a guest of her family and no one inquired about the kilos of smack I usually carry with me on international flights and I was never presented with a bill for dinner. 58 58points reply XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago When I have people over, I provide the meal. If I have not had people around for a while, and I don't have time or cash, I'll just do something simple. Some Christmas holidays, we would all bring two courses and have a ten course banquet, everyone contributes, everyone gets to show off a bit. And no one person is left with the full work and hassle of doing too much. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Praecordia Praecordia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago But I think her bf does know it’s not normal. Like she said he has eaten at her parents house many times and was never asked to pay. If anything he should of just had the money for their portion set aside if he knew his parents would ask. But it is super weird that they would ask. 9 9points reply bob van wijk bob van wijk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago We always asked ppl to pay. That was as students. Someone cooked for everyone in the house and if you had a visitor, they could join for 3 guilders. That's now 1 euro 50. We all had 600 a month to spend with 350 or so rent. And if we go out with collegues now, everyone pays their own drinks and food. With a partner and inlaws this is very weird. Never seen that happen. A pot luck at a church. Everyone brings something, but if you have no cent, you aren't forced to bring something or pay. 7 7points reply Julia Sankaran Julia Sankaran Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Its extra weird bc they knew she was almost trapped there if she had to get another plane to leave. Glad she did though. If the BF knew they did this he shouldve just gave his parents 30 bucks before she even arrived. He cant help his parents weird behavior but he couldve mitigated it. 5 5points reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago The BF was living under a rock all his life, then. Does really want to marry a caveman? 1 1point reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago Correction: ....does OP really... 0 0points reply Linsey Linsey Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 hours ago Unless he was mentally challenged, he had to know that normal families don't act this way. Asking if you carry drugs in your luggage? Charging you for meal expenses? Kinda surprised they didn't wand her when she arrived at their door. 0 0points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What were they serving that was so costly, anyway? I'm sure I could do a Thanksgiving dinner for less than $30/head. 43 43points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Absolutely! I've been asking myself this same question... It almost seems like to me that she's being asked to pay half of the total cost of the Thanksgiving bill...I find this so crazy. His mother escorting OP out of her boyfriend's room while they were talking also...that's insane that he said and did nothing. Her boyfriend is a sad sorry excuse for a man and a partner to sit idly by, he's truly a joke. She did the only thing she could at that point to save herself from the horrifying behavior towards her and so glad she did. She surly saved herself from further nasty behavior that would have happened had she stayed. She must have felt like she was in a freaking nightmare until she got home. Poor girl, I hope she finds someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Tracy Kirkness Tracy Kirkness Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Yep, I live in Canada and our local pub was serving Thanksgiving dinner for $19.95. Another place that sells home cooked freezer meals had a 2 person tray for $15.95. maybe their turkey was dipped in gold? Maybe their dream was to own a restaurant and charging their guests is as close as they get? ? 8 8points reply D Roe D Roe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Premium caviar and champagne? 8 8points reply Bittersweetie Bittersweetie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Turkey truffles and crystal cranberries 6 6points reply Shane S Shane S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Oh I think they charge guests for all the groceries and justify it by saying that they did the labor of cooking 7 7points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago You're probably right. 7 7points reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It think it really depends, it can get really expensive really quick depending a lot on what you make. I went and priced out just the bird because I was curious. A 13 lb turkey can run anywhere here between $30-$70 depending on the store and then there's everything else you make as part of the spread. So, $30 x 4 = $120. Doesn't seem out of the realm of possibilities, especially with food costs being astronomical at the moment. What's weird to me is that the boyfriend didn't think to let her know in advance as clearly he knows that's not how *her* family works even if his does. Is this a cultural thing? And, what culture is he from? I imagine Canada has similarly lots of different cultures like the us does? 2 2points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Well, you know. Prep time, gas to the store and back, clean up... it all adds up :P 1 1point reply Linda Faix Linda Faix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 hours ago Agreed 0 0points reply Janet Pattison Janet Pattison Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 hours ago Excellent point however this isn't about money at all. It's about power and control. NTA for sure. The weirdo parents contol their son, & this is common & they were going to control u as well. I had a family member do a similar thing to me. Run away from these people as fast as you can. You are so incredibly smart to have left immediately! . 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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Person Nopes Out From Boyfriend’ s Parents’ House After Meeting Them For The First Time Causing Relationship Drama Asks If They’ re A Jerk
Ieva Gailiūtė andRasa Žilinskaitė
A tenth of a second is all it takes for people to make an impression on a stranger from their face. So no wonder meeting your partner's family for the first time is such a nerve-racking experience! Even if you play out different scenarios countless times in your head up until stepping through their front door, first-impression jitters are bound to go up and down your spine. But as one recent story on the AITA subreddit shows, meeting your potential in-laws is a two-way street where unhinged behaviors seem to bubble their way to the surface. As the now-deleted user explains in the post that amassed 17.8k upvotes and 2.2k comments, things definitely didn't go as planned when they went to visit the family for Canadian Thanksgiving. "We were supposed to stay Sat, Sun and fly back afternoon Monday. I'm writing this Sun night already back in my own bed," they detailed. It turns out that the family was acting weird from the get-go, but things took an unexpected turn after they were asked to chip in for their portion of the holiday meal. Unsure of how they handled the situation, the user turned to the internet for perspective. Read on below to find out what happened, as well as our interview with relationship coach and narcissism hacker Dr. Nathalie Martinek, and let us know what you think in the comments.
This person was left pretty shocked and angry after their boyfriend s family asked them to pay for their portion of Thanksgiving dinner
Image credits: RODNAE ProductionsSo they turned to the internet to ask if they overreacted
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman
Image credits: [deleted] According to Dr. Nathalie Martinek, a narcissism hacker and relationship coach based in Melbourne, Australia, meeting a partner's family for the first time is always a stressful experience. "There are many possibilities of what you will experience," she told Bored Panda. "You're the new person being introduced to an established family system, it's normal to worry about being judged and deemed not good enough by their family." Unfortunately, your partner can intensify your worry by telling you something about their parents that paints them in a specific light. "You'll be coming into the first encounter with pre-formed judgments," Dr. Martinek explained. There's no way you can completely avoid the pre-meeting jitters, and let's face it, you're likely to be nervous. But some things that can help is to see yourself as good enough for your partner and remember that this encounter - which often feels like an audition - is a two-way street. Or, the coach said, "like you're interviewing your partner's family." "Like it or not, you're not just in a relationship with your partner. The success of your relationship is already influenced by your partner's relationship with their family and meeting them will show you exactly what you need to know to consider if your relationship has a future at all." Dr. Martinek pointed out that it's easy to understand the wish for a great first impression because how we begin a relationship shapes how it proceeds. In fact, she said the first interaction already establishes an image that is hard to shift. "Some families will put on a performance so that you can see how great they are only to discover over time how controlling and problematic they are in your relationship," she continued. "Others will be themselves and you will already be able to determine if your values are aligned… or not." No matter the situation, your relationship with potential in-laws will be rocky from the start if you don't share the same values. "If a family has already formed their opinion of you based on whatever their adult child told them and what they want to believe (ie. no one is good enough for my son/daughter!), if you don't act according to what they expect, they won't like you," Dr. Martinek said. The situation may reach a whole new level of complicated when your partner takes their side, just as the boyfriend in the AITA story. When this happens at the start of the relationship, Dr. Martinek offered one important piece of advice: "RUN!" "The biggest red flag of a difficult relationship to come is your partner defending their family's poor behavior. This shows you they haven't become independent from their family and their need for approval from their family/parents," the coach said, adding you will even be demonized if you challenge this codependent dynamic. Moreover, children of controlling or abusive parents often can't see this behavior clearly, and they "will likely protect them over protecting you, especially when the parents are being awful toward you." "There will always be drama because the parents will be working hard to convince your partner you're not good enough and you're the problem in the relationship," Dr. Martinek continued.
Readers expressed their support for the author calling out the family and their questionable behaviors
Even though first-time family meetings are notorious for turning into the least enjoyable relationship milestone, we still strive for things to go smoothly. Luckily, there are some steps you can take that make everything at least a little less stressful. First, acknowledge that you're entering an existing family system where your partner might play a specific role - and that it may be something you don't get to see when you're alone. "This gives you insight into whether the parent wants your partner to be truly independent or if you're a replacement for one of your partner's parents and playing out the parent's role in your relationship with each other." Speaking of the latter, when you feel like you must put on a performance to gain their approval instead of being accepted for who you are, you're setting unrealistic expectations you won't be able to sustain long term, Dr. Martinek argued. "This will result in arguments and conflict when you fail to live up to the standards you created." "It also means you don't feel safe being yourself because they're acting in ways that make you really uncomfortable. If that's the case, it will feel like torture spending longer periods of time with them in the future," she added. Another tip the relationship coach suggested is to have an honest conversation with your SO about what to expect - a bit of research can go a long way. A few things to consider: what they told them about you, how their family welcomes guests, what are their household rules, and what are their beliefs about relationships in their home. "Get as much information up front BEFORE you agree to meet them," Dr. Martinek advised. "If the person in the Reddit post knew that they would be sleeping in separate rooms, charged for Thanksgiving dinner and other unwelcome surprises, they would have likely declined and avoided the encounter altogether, and hopefully reflected on the future of the relationship with the partner." "Unfortunately, if you're not welcomed by your partner's family and their family is an important feature in their life, the relationship will be troubled and filled with drama. Life gives us enough drama and it's really helpful to navigate life's bumps with a partner who has the maturity to stand up to parents and have control over their own choices, instead of one who will bend to the will of their domineering, controlling and demanding parents," Dr. Martinek concluded.
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing! Follow Bored Panda on Google News! Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda! Share on Facebook Ieva Gailiūtė Ieva Gailiūtė Writer, BoredPanda staff Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee. Read more » Rasa Žilinskaitė Rasa Žilinskaitė Author, BoredPanda staff Rasa is a photo editor at Bored Panda, they have a college degree in photography and are currently studying sewing. Ever since childhood Rasa was interested in visual arts, including painting, photography, knitting and so on. When not at work or studying they like to knitting, cooking and spending quality time with their cats. Read more » Show All Contributors Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app! Popular on Bored Panda Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million 40 Embarrassing Moments People Didn't Know Who They Were Talking To And Made A Fool Of Themselves 30 Of The Most Hectic Homes As Shared On 'The Broke Agent' Instagram Account Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics) 50 ‘Weird Facts’ About The World That Might Give You A Fresh Perspective Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million Add your comment POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago European here. I thought Thanksgiving was meant to celebrate that the Pilgrims (or whoever) had such a bountiful harvest that they shared it with their neighbours, friends, even the Indegenous people. So apart from asking a guest for money, THIS should be the one holiday where it is TOTALLY inappropriate. Or am I wrong ?? 86 86points reply Alex Martin Alex Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It's been a tradition for a long time and the emphasis is more on getting together with family and friends and being thankful for being together and being in each other's lives. Asking for money is very strange. Either the bf didn't understand it's strange or was too clueless to explain it in advance or slip his parents the cover charge so they didn't embarrass his girlfriend. 48 48points reply Load More Replies... Tim Tim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago Lol... cover charge. 3 3points reply S Mi S Mi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is not about pilgrims, but is about the harvest. That's one of the reasons it's earlier, our harvest tends to be earlier. And yes, this is weird. Asking people to contribute is common, but a dish, drink, whatever. Not charging a fee (and a steep one at that)! 24 24points reply girlsrock4ever girlsrock4ever Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago These people are a**holes. They don't even qualify as cheap or stingy. It's a whole new level. The bar is so low it's at the bottom of the ocean, but these people went to the inner core of the earth. 13 13points reply Nicola Doyle Nicola Doyle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is a harvest festival in Oct and nothing to do with pilgrams unlike the US. I have never heard if paying though. Most Canadians would never treat a guest that way. Super wierd! 9 9points reply Florence O'Grady Florence O'Grady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago She went to Canada with her boyfriend to meet his family. She is an American and he isn't. Americans never ask an invited guest for money to cover their dinner at anytime, holiday or not. Definitely weird in any country. 9 9points reply Nathan Schinigoi Nathan Schinigoi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago I have a rather large extended family and we always have it at my grandma's. It's almost completely potluck and usually a few of us show up early to cook so grandma doesn't get stuck with all the work. Potluck is also nice for those with dietary restrictions like gluten intolerance or vegetarian so they know they will have something they can eat. 7 7points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That's a lie schools made up to cover up the genocide of the indigenous peoples. There were no natives invited to the first Thanksgiving. 5 5points reply Bill Allen Bill Allen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What? I thought it was the day before Black Friday! 4 4points reply Hoodoo Hoodoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 hours ago IMO, this would be considered cruel & rude anywhere. Deliberately makin a guest feel unwelcome is hostile behaviour no matter where it occurs. 2 2points reply Thatkamloopsguy Thatkamloopsguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It wasn't the pilgrimes that invited the native, it was the other way around. 2 2points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That didn't happen either. 3 3points reply Emie N. Emie N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is about celebrating harvest. American Thanksgiving is about caring and sharing I think? 2 2points reply Mario Strada Mario Strada Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This is just weird. The BF likely didn't know any better if he grew up with these people. My guess is that somehow this family managed to accumulate some friends. Stranger things have happened and keep happening. In their circle of friends, they have potluck BBQ and each guest pays for their portion. Weird, but if everyone agrees I am fine with it. Extending this "tradition" to out-of-town guests, let alone your possible DIL, is weird AF. My wife is Canadian, BTW. I spent many holidays as a guest of her family and no one inquired about the kilos of smack I usually carry with me on international flights and I was never presented with a bill for dinner. 58 58points reply XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago When I have people over, I provide the meal. If I have not had people around for a while, and I don't have time or cash, I'll just do something simple. Some Christmas holidays, we would all bring two courses and have a ten course banquet, everyone contributes, everyone gets to show off a bit. And no one person is left with the full work and hassle of doing too much. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Praecordia Praecordia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago But I think her bf does know it’s not normal. Like she said he has eaten at her parents house many times and was never asked to pay. If anything he should of just had the money for their portion set aside if he knew his parents would ask. But it is super weird that they would ask. 9 9points reply bob van wijk bob van wijk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago We always asked ppl to pay. That was as students. Someone cooked for everyone in the house and if you had a visitor, they could join for 3 guilders. That's now 1 euro 50. We all had 600 a month to spend with 350 or so rent. And if we go out with collegues now, everyone pays their own drinks and food. With a partner and inlaws this is very weird. Never seen that happen. A pot luck at a church. Everyone brings something, but if you have no cent, you aren't forced to bring something or pay. 7 7points reply Julia Sankaran Julia Sankaran Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Its extra weird bc they knew she was almost trapped there if she had to get another plane to leave. Glad she did though. If the BF knew they did this he shouldve just gave his parents 30 bucks before she even arrived. He cant help his parents weird behavior but he couldve mitigated it. 5 5points reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago The BF was living under a rock all his life, then. Does really want to marry a caveman? 1 1point reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago Correction: ....does OP really... 0 0points reply Linsey Linsey Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 hours ago Unless he was mentally challenged, he had to know that normal families don't act this way. Asking if you carry drugs in your luggage? Charging you for meal expenses? Kinda surprised they didn't wand her when she arrived at their door. 0 0points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What were they serving that was so costly, anyway? I'm sure I could do a Thanksgiving dinner for less than $30/head. 43 43points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Absolutely! I've been asking myself this same question... It almost seems like to me that she's being asked to pay half of the total cost of the Thanksgiving bill...I find this so crazy. His mother escorting OP out of her boyfriend's room while they were talking also...that's insane that he said and did nothing. Her boyfriend is a sad sorry excuse for a man and a partner to sit idly by, he's truly a joke. She did the only thing she could at that point to save herself from the horrifying behavior towards her and so glad she did. She surly saved herself from further nasty behavior that would have happened had she stayed. She must have felt like she was in a freaking nightmare until she got home. Poor girl, I hope she finds someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Tracy Kirkness Tracy Kirkness Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Yep, I live in Canada and our local pub was serving Thanksgiving dinner for $19.95. Another place that sells home cooked freezer meals had a 2 person tray for $15.95. maybe their turkey was dipped in gold? Maybe their dream was to own a restaurant and charging their guests is as close as they get? ? 8 8points reply D Roe D Roe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Premium caviar and champagne? 8 8points reply Bittersweetie Bittersweetie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Turkey truffles and crystal cranberries 6 6points reply Shane S Shane S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Oh I think they charge guests for all the groceries and justify it by saying that they did the labor of cooking 7 7points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago You're probably right. 7 7points reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It think it really depends, it can get really expensive really quick depending a lot on what you make. I went and priced out just the bird because I was curious. A 13 lb turkey can run anywhere here between $30-$70 depending on the store and then there's everything else you make as part of the spread. So, $30 x 4 = $120. Doesn't seem out of the realm of possibilities, especially with food costs being astronomical at the moment. What's weird to me is that the boyfriend didn't think to let her know in advance as clearly he knows that's not how *her* family works even if his does. Is this a cultural thing? And, what culture is he from? I imagine Canada has similarly lots of different cultures like the us does? 2 2points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Well, you know. Prep time, gas to the store and back, clean up... it all adds up :P 1 1point reply Linda Faix Linda Faix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 hours ago Agreed 0 0points reply Janet Pattison Janet Pattison Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 hours ago Excellent point however this isn't about money at all. It's about power and control. NTA for sure. The weirdo parents contol their son, & this is common & they were going to control u as well. I had a family member do a similar thing to me. Run away from these people as fast as you can. You are so incredibly smart to have left immediately! . 0 0points reply Load More Comments POST FakeOptimist FakeOptimist Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago European here. I thought Thanksgiving was meant to celebrate that the Pilgrims (or whoever) had such a bountiful harvest that they shared it with their neighbours, friends, even the Indegenous people. So apart from asking a guest for money, THIS should be the one holiday where it is TOTALLY inappropriate. Or am I wrong ?? 86 86points reply Alex Martin Alex Martin Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It's been a tradition for a long time and the emphasis is more on getting together with family and friends and being thankful for being together and being in each other's lives. Asking for money is very strange. Either the bf didn't understand it's strange or was too clueless to explain it in advance or slip his parents the cover charge so they didn't embarrass his girlfriend. 48 48points reply Load More Replies... Tim Tim Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago Lol... cover charge. 3 3points reply S Mi S Mi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is not about pilgrims, but is about the harvest. That's one of the reasons it's earlier, our harvest tends to be earlier. And yes, this is weird. Asking people to contribute is common, but a dish, drink, whatever. Not charging a fee (and a steep one at that)! 24 24points reply girlsrock4ever girlsrock4ever Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago These people are a**holes. They don't even qualify as cheap or stingy. It's a whole new level. The bar is so low it's at the bottom of the ocean, but these people went to the inner core of the earth. 13 13points reply Nicola Doyle Nicola Doyle Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is a harvest festival in Oct and nothing to do with pilgrams unlike the US. I have never heard if paying though. Most Canadians would never treat a guest that way. Super wierd! 9 9points reply Florence O'Grady Florence O'Grady Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago She went to Canada with her boyfriend to meet his family. She is an American and he isn't. Americans never ask an invited guest for money to cover their dinner at anytime, holiday or not. Definitely weird in any country. 9 9points reply Nathan Schinigoi Nathan Schinigoi Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago I have a rather large extended family and we always have it at my grandma's. It's almost completely potluck and usually a few of us show up early to cook so grandma doesn't get stuck with all the work. Potluck is also nice for those with dietary restrictions like gluten intolerance or vegetarian so they know they will have something they can eat. 7 7points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That's a lie schools made up to cover up the genocide of the indigenous peoples. There were no natives invited to the first Thanksgiving. 5 5points reply Bill Allen Bill Allen Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What? I thought it was the day before Black Friday! 4 4points reply Hoodoo Hoodoo Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 7 hours ago IMO, this would be considered cruel & rude anywhere. Deliberately makin a guest feel unwelcome is hostile behaviour no matter where it occurs. 2 2points reply Thatkamloopsguy Thatkamloopsguy Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It wasn't the pilgrimes that invited the native, it was the other way around. 2 2points reply Ghxst Batt Ghxst Batt Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 23 hours ago That didn't happen either. 3 3points reply Emie N. Emie N. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Canadian Thanksgiving is about celebrating harvest. American Thanksgiving is about caring and sharing I think? 2 2points reply Mario Strada Mario Strada Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago This is just weird. The BF likely didn't know any better if he grew up with these people. My guess is that somehow this family managed to accumulate some friends. Stranger things have happened and keep happening. In their circle of friends, they have potluck BBQ and each guest pays for their portion. Weird, but if everyone agrees I am fine with it. Extending this "tradition" to out-of-town guests, let alone your possible DIL, is weird AF. My wife is Canadian, BTW. I spent many holidays as a guest of her family and no one inquired about the kilos of smack I usually carry with me on international flights and I was never presented with a bill for dinner. 58 58points reply XenoMurph XenoMurph Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago When I have people over, I provide the meal. If I have not had people around for a while, and I don't have time or cash, I'll just do something simple. Some Christmas holidays, we would all bring two courses and have a ten course banquet, everyone contributes, everyone gets to show off a bit. And no one person is left with the full work and hassle of doing too much. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Praecordia Praecordia Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago But I think her bf does know it’s not normal. Like she said he has eaten at her parents house many times and was never asked to pay. If anything he should of just had the money for their portion set aside if he knew his parents would ask. But it is super weird that they would ask. 9 9points reply bob van wijk bob van wijk Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago We always asked ppl to pay. That was as students. Someone cooked for everyone in the house and if you had a visitor, they could join for 3 guilders. That's now 1 euro 50. We all had 600 a month to spend with 350 or so rent. And if we go out with collegues now, everyone pays their own drinks and food. With a partner and inlaws this is very weird. Never seen that happen. A pot luck at a church. Everyone brings something, but if you have no cent, you aren't forced to bring something or pay. 7 7points reply Julia Sankaran Julia Sankaran Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Its extra weird bc they knew she was almost trapped there if she had to get another plane to leave. Glad she did though. If the BF knew they did this he shouldve just gave his parents 30 bucks before she even arrived. He cant help his parents weird behavior but he couldve mitigated it. 5 5points reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago The BF was living under a rock all his life, then. Does really want to marry a caveman? 1 1point reply m.w. m.w. Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 19 hours ago Correction: ....does OP really... 0 0points reply Linsey Linsey Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 4 hours ago Unless he was mentally challenged, he had to know that normal families don't act this way. Asking if you carry drugs in your luggage? Charging you for meal expenses? Kinda surprised they didn't wand her when she arrived at their door. 0 0points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago What were they serving that was so costly, anyway? I'm sure I could do a Thanksgiving dinner for less than $30/head. 43 43points reply Cold Contagious Cold Contagious Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Absolutely! I've been asking myself this same question... It almost seems like to me that she's being asked to pay half of the total cost of the Thanksgiving bill...I find this so crazy. His mother escorting OP out of her boyfriend's room while they were talking also...that's insane that he said and did nothing. Her boyfriend is a sad sorry excuse for a man and a partner to sit idly by, he's truly a joke. She did the only thing she could at that point to save herself from the horrifying behavior towards her and so glad she did. She surly saved herself from further nasty behavior that would have happened had she stayed. She must have felt like she was in a freaking nightmare until she got home. Poor girl, I hope she finds someone who treats her the way she deserves to be treated. 32 32points reply Load More Replies... Tracy Kirkness Tracy Kirkness Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Yep, I live in Canada and our local pub was serving Thanksgiving dinner for $19.95. Another place that sells home cooked freezer meals had a 2 person tray for $15.95. maybe their turkey was dipped in gold? Maybe their dream was to own a restaurant and charging their guests is as close as they get? ? 8 8points reply D Roe D Roe Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Premium caviar and champagne? 8 8points reply Bittersweetie Bittersweetie Community Member • points posts comments upvotes 1 day ago Turkey truffles and crystal cranberries 6 6points reply Shane S Shane S Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Oh I think they charge guests for all the groceries and justify it by saying that they did the labor of cooking 7 7points reply Seanette Blaylock Seanette Blaylock Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago You're probably right. 7 7points reply Littlebunnyfufu Littlebunnyfufu Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago It think it really depends, it can get really expensive really quick depending a lot on what you make. I went and priced out just the bird because I was curious. A 13 lb turkey can run anywhere here between $30-$70 depending on the store and then there's everything else you make as part of the spread. So, $30 x 4 = $120. Doesn't seem out of the realm of possibilities, especially with food costs being astronomical at the moment. What's weird to me is that the boyfriend didn't think to let her know in advance as clearly he knows that's not how *her* family works even if his does. Is this a cultural thing? And, what culture is he from? I imagine Canada has similarly lots of different cultures like the us does? 2 2points reply Chich Chich Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 1 day ago Well, you know. Prep time, gas to the store and back, clean up... it all adds up :P 1 1point reply Linda Faix Linda Faix Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 8 hours ago Agreed 0 0points reply Janet Pattison Janet Pattison Community Member • points posts comments upvotes FollowUnfollow 10 hours ago Excellent point however this isn't about money at all. It's about power and control. NTA for sure. The weirdo parents contol their son, & this is common & they were going to control u as well. I had a family member do a similar thing to me. Run away from these people as fast as you can. You are so incredibly smart to have left immediately! . 0 0points reply Load More Comments Popular on Bored Panda I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life 30 Y.O. 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