10 Ways That Memory Sustains Relationships HEAD TOPICS
10 Ways That Memory Sustains Relationships
10/21/2022 10:22:00 PM Applying memory to enhance intimacy
Source Psychology Today
Shared memories can strengthen a relationship—or weaken it. Here's how to use them to your advantage. Applying memory to enhance intimacy , which creates considerable physical and emotional benefits.Creative reminiscingTHE BASICS6. Being Understanding With Forgettingforgetting itself should be forgotten – even if it seems inconsiderate or uncaring.7. Helpful ForgettingIt also helps to forget the harshness of an argument or an interaction that was out of character and that our partner apologized for. Letting go of When remembering together, it’s necessary to keep in mind that we each have different strengths and weaknesses with memory. We should acknowledge our own distinctive ways of remembering, as well as those of our partner, and realize that ingrained patterns of remembering and forgetting shape what we remember. (For example, I can remember who starred in a movie twenty-five years ago, but I forget who gave me a gift from my last birthday.) Differences in memory and forgetting should not be taken personally or taken to heart. Read more:
Psychology Today » Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake's Relationship Timeline AOA’s Seolhyun Parts Ways With FNC Entertainment After 10 Years How to get over a heartbreak: 10 ways to heal your heart and move forward Britain could have a new prime minister as soon as Monday. A man needed a brain tumor removed He played the sax during surgery
The 35-year-old played the theme of the 1970 film “Love Story” and the Italian national anthem, among other songs, on the saxophone during a nine-hour operation. Read more >> Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake's Relationship TimelineJustin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are celebrating 10 years of marriage and revealed they renewed their vows! AOA’s Seolhyun Parts Ways With FNC Entertainment After 10 YearsAOA’s Seolhyun has parted ways with her longtime agency FNC Entertainment. On October 20, FNC Entertainment released the following statement: Hello. This is FNC Entertainment. After long conversation and discussion with Seolhyun, FNC Entertainment has agreed to end our management work [with Seolhyun]. Since her debut in 2012, Seolhyun has impressed in many different fields Goood that company hasn’t done much good As she should Seolhyun can't sing 😭😭 How to get over a heartbreak: 10 ways to heal your heart and move forwardHeartbreak — even the word is a veritable drag. And while there's no way to control how or when you'll get your heart broken, you can control how you cope with the pain — and ultimately, move forward. It’s not that easy at all Britain could have a new prime minister as soon as Monday.The contest for the next leader of Britain’s Conservative Party — and, consequently, the country’s prime minister — could be over by Monday afternoon. NASCAR Suspends Bubba Wallace, But Penalty Could Have Been WorsePenalty evokes memories of Matt Kenseth's longer suspension, more sanctions following a 2015 incident. Wait, he was only suspended for ONE RACE? Holy Crap. of married couples showed that the rehearsal of vivid, positive, and emotionally intense memories significantly correlated with higher marital satisfaction.Jessica Biel are celebrating 10 years of marriage and revealed they renewed their vows! The couple originally tied the knot during a romantic ceremony in Italy on Oct.has parted ways with her longtime agency FNC Entertainment.Lonely Hearts Club NYC , told TODAY. In particular, increases reported relationship satisfaction more than any other type of happy event. This elevated relationship satisfaction connects directly to , which creates considerable physical and emotional benefits. Since then, the couple has gone on to share life-changing moments, including the arrival of their two sons, multiple professional collaborations, meaningful birthdays and more. When we with our partner, we bring back a primary memory of that uninhibited time, retrieving and reliving the sights and sounds, and joyful emotions. After long conversation and discussion with Seolhyun, FNC Entertainment has agreed to end our management work [with Seolhyun]. 4. "From our vow renewal this summer -- in Italy where it all went down," she wrote. Creative Reminiscing – and Living Forward Creative reminiscing uses shared memories as a springboard for plans and ideas for future activities. Consider this the ultimate playbook on how to get over a heartbreak while maintaining grace and compassion for yourself. In this way, memories themselves become the present life we’re living, and we can build from them. "Well, I'll have to give Justin the credit in this moment, for this one thing that he always says to me: 'We might be married, but we have to keep dating,' and it's so true," Jessica shared with ET. The agency will continue to sincerely support Seolhyun’s activities going forward, and we ask for your unchanging love and support for Seolhyun as she prepares to make a new start. 5. Finding Themes Particular interactional memories can coalesce into patterns, providing enduring knowledge about a relationship. And do the things that you love together. It may take a while to detect these patterns, but they should be remembered once established. Seolhyun also starred in numerous projects as an actress including “. THE BASICS Find a therapist to strengthen relationships Source: Rodnae Productions/Pexels Possible themes include working together to overcome adversity, creating fun from challenging situations, and being surprised by unexpected romantic gestures. Todd Williamson/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images January 2007: Justin and Jessica Make It Official Justin and Jessica finally stepped out publicly with their romance in January 2007." Remember that it's normal to feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster. 6. Being Understanding With Forgetting We forget a lot, naturally. For the first half of their relationship, the duo played it coy, not providing any details about their romance. Everyday forgetting is usually not a moral failing or a personal slight. It’s simply forgetting."When I met Jess, it was undeniable how beautiful she is. Every so often, however, this natural forgetting creates conflict. Because of this, Tzall says"we do not take the time to register the sadness because we are too preoccupied with paying attention to a feeling out of shame and internal or external pressure. If our partner forgets we had a late work meeting or a dinner with friends, it’s best to acknowledge this forgetting and then put it aside and not consciously rehearse it."I made some sort of sarcastic comment, really dry. In general, everyday forgetting itself should be forgotten – even if it seems inconsiderate or uncaring. Notably, we are capable of remembering the gist of conversations but not the detail. She laughed, and I noticed, all of a sudden, and in the way where you wonder if a person’s like you, if they have a very dry, dark sense of humor too. Recalling specific words is not how our memory works. We should not be expected to remember what was said verbatim. Instead, he waited until he saw her again at one of his shows -- noting that it took a while for them to admit it was right. On the flip side, Konchar says self-compassion"encompasses kindness, humility and understanding. Relationships Essential Reads These Are the 7 Types of Love 7. Helpful Forgetting Some forgetting can be beneficial to a relationship."It took a bit for both of us to admit to ourselves that we were really, really into each other. Recalling an unresolved disagreement is necessary for successful conflict resolution later, but once resolved, we are better off putting the disagreement behind us and moving ahead. It also helps to forget the harshness of an argument or an interaction that was out of character and that our partner apologized for. Instead of confirming that she was seeing the"Sexyback" singer, she instead referred to him as"one sparkly present," adding, “And I don't want to open it in front of strangers. Letting go of atypical irritations is beneficial. But sometimes, it can be difficult if"individuals feel like they are crawling back to their friends that they left for their relationship. 8. In the hilarious moment, the camera panned to the couple, and the"Like I Love You" singer playfully mounted his lady while planting a kiss on her. Recognizing Individual Differences When remembering together, it’s necessary to keep in mind that we each have different strengths and weaknesses with memory. We should acknowledge our own distinctive ways of remembering, as well as those of our partner, and realize that ingrained patterns of remembering and forgetting shape what we remember. The pair's reps released a statement confirming their split, saying,"Addressing the media speculation regarding Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake's relationship, we are confirming that they mutually have decided to part ways. (For example, I can remember who starred in a movie twenty-five years ago, but I forget who gave me a gift from my last birthday.) Differences in memory and forgetting should not be taken personally or taken to heart." November 2011: Back On The love obviously didn’t die, though. Pursue your interests rom-com cocoon, but it will help catapult you on the road to feeling better. When we’re young children, we are taught the value of remembering, largely through interactions in the family. Our parents teach us the importance of memory by asking specific questions about past events, even before we care much about the past. In an interview with Elle magazine, Jessica noted, "A girl doesn't kiss and tell. In particular, gender -related differences have been identified in what children are typically asked to remember, which then influences what they remember later in adulthood. When this research was conducted, girls were asked more about friendships and emotions, and boys were asked about facts and activities. During an interview with James Corden,. (Refer to the references below. Picking up new hobbies, starting new classes, or moving to a new city can be ways to refresh ourselves and allow for continued internal growth," Tzall said, adding that transitions are a great time to take stock of what your needs are and if they were met in your last relationship. ) 9. Remembering Prospectively Prospective memory is remembering about a future action or event – buying a birthday present next month, taking medication before dinner, remembering to call someone at a particular time. Online calendars and scheduled reminders can tell us about meetings and appointments, but many informal daily events rely on prospective memory. In particular, we should strive to remember what we promised to do – in the most effective way possible (post-it notes, emailing ourselves, spending time rehearsing the promise). Prospective memory is also helpful with our partner’s important professional obligations and busy or difficult days. Getty Images Block your ex on social media Speaking of blank slates, make sure your digital presence reflects your newfound singledom. 10. Deciding to Reminisce Source: Luizmedeirosph/Pexels Reminiscing can be useful early in relationships and in mature relationships. People who rehearse relationship-defining memories are usually younger than 30 or older than 70 . In new relationships, remembering firsts can be fun and sustaining. Later, landmark events are helpful to review – trips together, weddings, births of children – and grandchildren. Grace moves the needle in the right direction — away from the blame game, and onto embodying an empathetic, strong version of wonderful you. Between a relationship’s formative years and much later years, reminiscing should be called on judiciously to avoid using nostalgia to replace lived experience. (Reminiscing can have the disadvantage of implying that a relationship is mostly in the past.) We live our lives forward, but every so often, we can pause and reminisce with our relationship partner. Final Words Memory has multiple effects – suggesting, supporting, disturbing, validating, exacerbating, comforting, and guiding. We should not call on memory to dwell on isolated unpleasantness, uncharacteristically harsh words, occasional forgetting, or resolved arguments. When we focus too much on the other person, we do not bring our awareness to our role in the breakup,” Tzall said. Instead, memories should be used to plan, discuss new activities, note patterns of commitment in our relationships, and savor happy, funny times together. By drawing on the potential of memory to work for us, we can nourish our relationships. References Davis, P. J. (1999). Heartbreak is supposed to be painful. Gender differences in autobiographical memory for childhood emotional experiences. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 76(3), 498–510. Fivush, R., Haden, C., & Reese, E. “They are trying to help and be supportive but they are likely speaking from their own experience and that is not always helpful,” Tzall said, adding that it’s best to be around others who simply listen rather than talk. (1995). Remembering, recounting, and reminiscing: The development of autobiographical memory in social context. In D. C. Rubin (Ed. ), Remembering our past: Studies in autobiographical memory (pp. 341-359). New York: Cambridge University Press. More .