Help The Old Racist Woman I Take Care of Says the Most Awful Things Dearprudie - Slate-Plus HEAD TOPICS
Help The Old Racist Woman I Take Care of Says the Most Awful Things
10/21/2022 1:02:00 PM I don' t know if I' m actually doing any good
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DearPrudie: I don’t know what I should do to address it. I don't know if I'm actually doing any good. Dear Prudence,I’m a live-in caregiver for an old woman who has (relatively mild) dementia. Here’s my problem: She’s racist, and I don’t know what I should do to address it. We are both white, and I feel like I should be calling her out, but I also don’t know if I’m actually doing any good when I do so. My responses so far have been uncomfortable silence, a quick explanation of why something she’s said is factually incorrect, or just stating that I disagree, but …I don’t know. Is there a more effective way to address this? Read more:
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Silver Peak has gained newfound attention in recent years as the energy and transportation sectors race to wean themselves off climate-warming fossil fuels. Read more >> For one, as a professional, you could recognize the fact that the patient is impaired, lacking the literal physical capacity in the prefrontal cortex to maintain self control. Unfortunate as it is, they literally do not have the ability to think before they speak. Christine Brown on whether she'd be open to doing a 'Sister Wives' spinoffChristine Brown said she has no plans to leave 'Sister Wives' anytime soon, but she is open to the idea of doing her own show in the future. AEW Star Adam Page 'Doing Alright & Feeling Good' After Scary Fall In Match'Hangman' Adam Page -- one of the AEW's biggest stars -- tweeted he's 'feeling better' following his scary mid-match fall. He faked so he wouldn't have to get on pinned. Went into business for himself again. TheRock any thoughts on this ? 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The world's biggest marine reserve seems to be doing its jobThe number of fish caught just outside a recently expanded marine protected area in Hawai’i has risen, a sign that quadrupling the size of the reserve in 2016 may have bolstered fish populations in the region , Dear Prudence asks readers for their thoughts on a question that has her stumped.Janelle .to say he's doing much better -- telling his fans he's"feeling good.Kanye West to end their relationships with the outspoken rapper. She’ll post her final thoughts on the matter on Fridays. Here’s this week’s dilemma and answer: Dear Prudence, I’m a live-in caregiver for an old woman who has (relatively mild) dementia. “So as far as 'Sister Wives' goes, I’ll still be doing things with Janelle quite regularly,” she said. Here’s my problem: She’s racist, and I don’t know what I should do to address it.. We are both white, and I feel like I should be calling her out, but I also don’t know if I’m actually doing any good when I do so. “I’m single now, right? So I kind of just decide what I want to do and then do it. My responses so far have been uncomfortable silence, a quick explanation of why something she’s said is factually incorrect, or just stating that I disagree, but …I don’t know. Silence and inaction are not an option. Is there a more effective way to address this? —Dementia Doesn’t Excuse Racism Dear Dementia, This is tough because, as many readers pointed out, you’re very unlikely to change this woman. “Everything’s just a lot easier as far as just planning and day-to-day life. Thankfully, however, AEW officials say it appears the wrestler is already on his way to making a full recovery. Or even get her to improve for an entire afternoon. That’s just how this illness works. Season 17 of"Sister Wives" tracks the fallout of their separation, which she announced on Nov. And you have to live with her.. I found that extremely depressing! But some of the responses helped me realize, doing the right thing here doesn’t need to achieve changing her into a person who doesn’t have racist thoughts or say racist things. “After more than 25 years together, Kody and I have grown apart and I have made the difficult decision to leave. Emanuel refused to buy that West’s recent statements can be attributed to his past widely reported battles with mental illness. Instead, you can focus on being the kind of person you want to be in this situation. One important part of that can be minimizing the way her remarks affect others. On the show, Christine's to the announcement.. When there are other household employees around, or when you take her to doctor’s appointments or are at the grocery store with her, you can express disagreement and correct her—not so much for her benefit, but for the benefit of those who might be listening. You can even briefly, but sincerely, apologize to them for what they had to hear. Meri, Kody's first wife, said Christine's decision means she's not a"sister wife" anymore. LW should absolutely have a plan in place for every time that the patient is going to be encountering others where her words/actions could affect more than just the LW (e. g. Robyn expressed concern about how the divorce would impact the family. doctor’s appointments or other outings). — @Edianter1 Sometimes saying something in that situation is less about the person you are saying it to and more about the people who may be listening in. I know what this means. My take? Say, “I don’t agree and times have changed!” Or offer a gentle and thoughtful counter to whatever this old lady is saying. I would not presume that she can’t change, but I would not expect to change anybody who is older—especially someone who has dementia. We’re talking about 18 kids, spouses, grandbabies and five of us that are all connected and committed to each other and technically married. But the effort is good for society at large. So many people listening who can learn so many lessons. Christine, who is now living in Utah with daughter Truely , seems confident in her decision, looking back. — @iproposethis I have a (non-white) elderly family member with dementia who says racist things. Approach has been to focus on minimizing harm to others. If I’d decided to not come and stay in Vegas, I think it would have been out of anger and that would have been a mistake,” she said. If she says something racist to a nurse, apologize to the nurse. If there’s a child around, explain to them that it’s wrong.”. — @PorterValdez Remember it’s not just other people whose feeling and experiences matter. Yours do too. Even though you’re white, it’s hard to hear hateful things. It’s difficult to be a person who hears hateful things and doesn’t challenge them. That could really take a toll on you and how you feel about yourself. So, when it’s just the two of you, still briefly challenge or correct her. It’s not about changing an old woman’s mind in order to create a more just (and verdant) world. It’s about setting clear boundaries in an intimate situation. That’s a routine part of caregiving. Otherwise, DDER’s frustration will deepen and lead to burnout. — .