The Most Powerful Pokémon In The History Of The Series
TheGamer
Something New
Annihilation 20 Pokémon So Powerful They Could Wipe Out Humanity
These Pokémon are so powerful they are able to totally annihilate humanity. Geez, Nintendo! via elite4-realpokemon.deviantart.com/memecenter.com The world of Pokémon is a dangerous, dangerous place. Not only are ten-year-olds thrown out of their homes and sent on adventures with bizarre, super-violent animals, but what pets these are. Social services really do need to step in here and tell these Poké-parents what’s up. The Pokédex, famously, gives us hilariously impossible and utterly impractical details about these creatures. There are Pokémon whose bodies are as hot as the surface of the sun, Pokémon who can punch one thousand times in two seconds and flatten mountains with one hand, all manner of exaggerated brilliance. Do these sound like the kind of tame pets you could give to your little urchin, slap a lead on an be done with it? They do not. The last person who tried to neuter a Machamp so that he wouldn’t sire a litter with the tabby next door got the beating of a damn lifetime. Despite what the games tell you about the importance of becoming the very best Pokémon trainer (like no-one ever was), these things are not just circus animals, performing for our amusements. These are living creatures to respect, not screw around with. Mainly because they’re freaking terrifying. Their powers are toned down for the games, of course, so as to create a relatively even playing field. The anime, however, as goddamn melodramatic as it is, gets a little more graphic with what these things are capable of. THEGAMER VIDEO OF THE DAY Tyranitar
via: nepharus.deviantart.com Now, granted, Tyranitar has it tough in the games. The Armor Pokémon, being a Rock/Dark type, is weak to every freakin’ thing. This exclusive typing has the most weaknesses of all Pokémon in fact (shared with the Grass/Ice Abomasnow and a couple others). It’s a popular and powerful pick still, for sure, but it’s got to be played carefully. Series lore isn’t miffed about any of this, though. The Pokédex paints a picture of the kind of horrifying beast that could eat Godzilla for breakfast (mmm, leathery). “A Tyranitar is so overwhelmingly powerful, it can bring down a whole mountain to make its nest,”Pokémon Emerald tells us. “If it rampages, it knocks down mountains and buries rivers. Maps must be redrawn afterward,” adds Diamond and Pearl. It’s as impractical as it is brilliantly doomtastic. Camerupt
Via: media-cerulean.cursecdn.com So Tyranitar’s out there flattening mountains, burying rivers and otherwise ensuring that mapmaker is the most irritating, pain-in-the-ass career in the Pokémon universe. The big fella isn’t the only one, though. Camerupt is another super volatile, super douchey specimen of a ‘mon. As the name suggests, the Eruption Pokémon is based on a camel, only with two active volcanoes for humps. These were formed by a transformation of its bones, apparently, and are prone to erupting every decade or so. We’re talking ‘major eruptions,’ according to the Black and White ‘dex. Apparently, they also occur when it becomes particularly enraged. If you thought your angry Rottweiler was tough to deal with, you can be thankful that it just requires you to get a couple of stitches in your buttcheek when it’s pissed, as opposed to causing a mass extinction event. Lugia
Via: propokemon.com The first legendary Pokémon on the countdown, you’re probably expecting something pretty damn special from Lugia. We’ve already had mountain-crushing and volcanoes made out of our own damn bones, so the standard’s been set pretty high here already. Fortunately, Lugia doesn’t disappoint in the deadly stakes. Lugia is known as the Guardian of the Seas, and is the trio master of the legendary birds. Pokémon Emerald tells us that “Lugia is so powerful even a light fluttering of its wings can blow apart houses,” and Diamond and Pearl would later add that “if it flaps its wings, it is said to cause a 40-day storm.” It may sound a little like a wanton destruction-amundo machine, but at least it has good intentions. Lugia lives way, way under the sea, sleeping out of harm’s way. Sharpedo
Via: pbs.twimg.com As any Pokémon player who has used the thing will know, Sharpedo is the perfect definition of the term glass cannon. Used right, it can hit like a nuclear bomb fuelled by death, fury, and teeth, but it also has all the defensive capabilities of a one-legged kitten with a limp. If this thing takes a hit, it’s going down, and it’s going down hard. Still, it’s an offensive beast. This Water/Dark Pokémon is nicknamed the Bully of the Seas, and the strength of its bite is legendary. Just one Sharpedo can quickly and effortlessly tear through a supertanker. It would do, too, just for fun, because that’s the kind of asshat we’re dealing with here. Just look at the guy. Does that look like the face of mercy? That’s because it isn’t. Hydreigon
Via: Deviant Art (ishmam) Interestingly, Sharpedo isn’t the only ‘mon to have the classification of Brutal Pokémon. It shares that distinction with Hydreigon, and that probably tells you all you need to know about these guys. Are they super friendly dudes you’d want to bring home to meet your mama? They are not. That’s what I’m trying to tell you here. If you know the legend of the fearsome Hydra, you’ll know the sort of beast we’re dealing with here. As its classification suggests, this thing is incredibly aggressive, with the Pokédex reporting that “it responds to movement by attacking. This scary, three-headed Pokémon devours everything in its path!” We’re also assured that it “uses its three heads to consume and destroy everything.” Damn, dude. Consume and destroy everything. Everything. Kingdra
Via: Deviant Art (rabbidattack) You might be wondering how Kingdra earned itself a place on the list. I mean, look at it. Surely Kingdra is harmless enough. Have you seen its first form, Horsea? It’s one of the cutest things in Pokémon history. But hey, let’s not let my lifelong love of/fascination with seahorses be any kind of a factor here. After evolving a couple of times, that super cutesy Horsea becomes as terrifying as anything else in Pokémon’s crazy world. Kingdra lives way down on the ocean floor, at depths where nothing else could survive. It is said that it causes tornados as it wakes, and its very yawns create huge whirlpools. I don’t know about you, but that sounds just as bad as anything that Lugia’s getting up to down there, and this pair between them could destroy the planet in an instant. Dugtrio
Via: Deviant Art (heidelmeier17) First Kingdra, now Dugtrio. Come on now, what harm could this little guy possibly get up to. If you’re not enough of a disbeliever already, go and take a look at Diglett, memorize every inch of its adorable little face, and then come back here. Are you doubting its destructive power enough now? Probably. So let me convince you. Dugtrio is nothing more than a trio of Digletts, but they’re a hugely powerful force down there under the earth. These things spend their time burrowing through the soil at ferocious speeds, and set off massive earthquakes in the process. That’s a lot of power for a two-feet-tall teeny carrot/mole man. If that weren’t enough, these things burrow ‘endlessly,’ ensuring a nigh-constant stream of seismic events. Tyrantrum
Via: images6.fanpop.com Tyrantrum is, for all intents and purposes, a Tyrannosaurus Rex. If you’ve ever seen one of these angry bastards eat cowardly lawyers as they sit on the toilet, or swallow a dog whole and stare in a first-floor window with the dog’s lead dangling from its mouth, you’ll know that you never, ever screw with a T-Rex. Tyrantrum, following in the tyrant lizard’s footsteps, is one holy motherfreaker of a powerhouse itself. Its gargantuan jaws, the Pokédex tells us, are capable of crushing thick steel sheets as though they were paper. It was essentially invincible in the ancient world it used to inhabit. Stumpy little adorable arms or no stumpy little adorable arms, there’s little doubt that these unstoppable beasts could wipe us out with ease. Xerneas
Via: cdn.bulbgarden.net Being a legendary Pokémon is cool and all, but it’s just not enough for some of us. There are those who strive for more, who are committed to becoming the best damn legendary Pokémon they can be. They’ve seen all of those cute little motivational pictures on Facebook. They know what they’re doing. They have become… box legends. The mascots of each game, proudly shown off on the box art, are the strongest of the strong. Pokémon X and Y’s pair, Xerneas and Yveltal, are no exception to this rule. The deer-like Xerneas is the Life Pokémon, and wield powers that only gods themselves should have. It can share the secrets of everlasting life with us, or it can instantly destroy us all on a whim. That’s just the kind of guy Xerneas is. Yveltal
Via: propokemon.com (dekus) Speaking of instantly destroying us all and Xerneas, make way for its vicious counterpart. Yveltal is the Destruction Pokémon, and… well, just look at it. Does it look like it spends its days helping doddering grandmas cross roads? That’s because it doesn’t. This Dark/Flying agent of chaos boasts the ability dark aura, which powers up Dark type moves while it’s on the field. This suits it perfectly; its only goal in life being to spread despair and darkness wherever it goes. Yveltal is able to consume the life force of any living creature. Indeed, at the moment of its death, it will consume the life force of every living creature, all at once, and revert to a cocoon-like state. Which is a bit of bummer, whichever way you slice it. Magcargo
Via: Deviant Art (scribblehatch) I know what you’re thinking. From Xerneas and Yveltal to… Magcargo? What the hell? Standards are slipping around here. In game, Magcargo is a real nonentity, boasting sub-par stats across the board and no particular use at all. Its Fire/Rock typing is quite novel, so I guess it gets some props for that, but otherwise, there’s no reason for this thing to exist at all. An unassuming two-foot snail thing it might be, but you don’t want to underestimate Magcargo. Its body temperature is 18,000F, supposedly, or roughly twice as hot as the surface of the Sun (9944F). I don’t need to tell you the kind of catastrophic damage that a teeny snail thing could cause, cruising around on the planet at those sorts of temperatures. Ditto
Via: cdn0.vox-cdn.com If you thought Magcargo seemed unassuming and harmless at first glance, how about this little guy? A little hunk of jell-o with eyes and a mouth? I think I could pretty safely take it. With a spoon and a bit of ice cream, preferably. Once again, though, snark at your peril. Let’s consider the facts. Ditto, as we all know, is able to transform into any Pokémon at will. It’ll mimic their movesets, exact stats (bar HP), all of that good stuff. But that’s just for starters. Outside of the games, Ditto has been shown to be able to transform into inanimate objects too. This gives it all kinds of ways to destroy all of humanity, by transforming itself into weapons of mass destruction as it pleases. Exploud
Via: 38media.tumblr.com So far on our countdown of Pokémon that could wipe out humanity, we’ve seen a lot of not-so-natural disasters being triggered by these beings. Tornados, volcanoes, earthquakes, there’s a bit of everything going on here. Of these, the latter seems to be the most popular, and perhaps among the most destructive. One Pokémon you probably wouldn’t expect to see causing these city-levelling events would be Exploud. The Loud Noise Pokémon isn’t much of a factor in the games either. It can do some damn good damage spamming Boomburst, but that’s as far as it goes. True to form, though, its bellowing can cause horrific real-world damage too, triggering earthquakes wherever and whenever it’s psyching itself up for battle. Perhaps that’s why it’s so rarely used? Volcanion
Via: nintendowire.com Volcanion is a curious beast. One of the most recent additions to the legendary roster, this mythical Pokémon is currently only (legitimately) available through special exclusive Nintendo events. A unique ‘mon it is too. The first Fire/Water type in the series, Volcanion is the Steam Pokémon. It has a hugely powerful signature move, Steam Eruption, which is like an upgraded version of Scald (as powerful as Hydro Pump, but with the added burn chance). This guy has a completely unique STAB combination, which gives it great coverage, and the power to back it up. Outside of game mechanics, though, is where Volcanion shows its true power. As Pokémon Alpha Sapphire’s Pokédex tells us, “It expels its internal steam from the arms on its back. It has enough power to blow away a mountain.” Gyarados
Via: pm1.narvii.com If Lugia is the benevolent, goodly good guy of the sea, then Gyarados is the a-hole brother. The jealous sibling who isn’t as handsome or successful, grows up bitter, and just wants to watch the damn world burn. Dubbed the Atrocious Pokémon, this twenty-foot sea monster is notorious for leaving death and destruction in its wake. Since ancient times, the stories say, Gyarados has appeared whenever there is war among humans, leveling whole cities in a violent rage. Much like Godzilla or Final Fantasy VII’s Diamond Weapon, it emerges from the sea wherever there are asses to whup, and sets about a-whuppin’. The Pokédex theorizes that this insatiably violent nature results from the traumatic transformation of its body cells, on evolving from the teeny pitiful Magikarp. Dialga
Via: wallpapercave.com Dialga is another of the series’ box legends, and you know what that means. It’s getting pretty damn serious around here. Dialga and its counterpart Palkia are the controllers of time and space respectively. Dialga is a Steel/Dragon type, and is classified as the Temporal Pokémon. In layman’s terms, this means that you do not cross this guy. You don’t spill his drink, or try to steal his enormous draconic girlfriend. Not if you like having your internal organs on the inside of your body. As the controller of time, there are really no limits to the cruel, imaginative and/or hilarious-in-a-sadistic-sort-of-way methods Dialga could use to wipe us all out. From transporting us back to the time of the Black Death to hurling us to the far-flung future when Earth has been destroyed by the expanding Sun, the options are limitless. Espurr
Via: memecenter.com Another curious contrast here. From Dialga, one of the most boundlessly powerful beings in the entire history of Pokémon, to this cutesy little cat thing. This guy evolves into the Psychic type Meowstic, which you may have come across in competitive play a few years back. It served quite well as a supporter, using its Prankster ability to gain priority on status moves, but was totally sub-par when used offensively. Its pre-evolved form looks like even less of a threat, but you don’t want to count Espurr out for a second. There’s way, way too freaking much power concealed in that teeny body. Its ears, we’re told, contain the organ that emit Espurr’s immense psychic power, which it can use to obliterate anything within 300 feet of itself. Let’s hope the Restrain Pokémon can keep that in check, for all of our sakes. Entei
Via: images4.fanpop.com In the context of the games themselves, I’ve always found Entei quite underwhelming. From a battling standpoint, there’s very little it can do that Arcanine can’t do better, what with the latter’s super-useful Intimidate ability and all. Entei was thrown a bone with an amazing new STAB move in Sacred Fire, which was previously exclusive to Ho-Oh, but still. In many players’ view, when it comes to dogs that are on freaking fire, there’s usually one clear winner. When it comes to the utterly ridiculous Pokédex entries, though, Entei definitely comes out on top. It’s quite horrifying, really. Supposedly, an Entei is born whenever a new volcano appears, and a volcano will erupt whenever a Entei roars. Beyond that, this Pokémon is capable of sending up huge plumes of fire which utterly consume everything they touch. Think Harry Potter’s Fiendfyre, and be afraid. Kyogre
Via: pokewalls.com (MapleRose) If you were playing competitive Pokémon last year, you’ll have witnessed the sheer, awe-inspiring power that is Kyogre. The Sea Basin Pokémon has been washing away all competition with rain-boosted Water Spouts for years, but that wasn’t enough for Game Freak. The advent of Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby saw them introduce Primal Kyogre and Primal Groudon, both of whom possess strength way beyond their base forms. As far as the lore of the series goes, Kyogre is capable of summoning floods of biblical proportions. In the games, we first encounter it in an eons-long slumber, following an apocalyptical battle with Groudon, and both Pokémon are central to the plots of their games. As my mama always said, let sleeping dogs and/or enormous whale-y death machines lie. Arceus
Via: cdn.atomix.vg Well, come on. Surely this was inevitable? It’d be nothing short of blasphemy (literally) not to end the list with the god of all Pokémon itself: Arceus. The Alpha Pokémon is the creator of all. Mythology tells us that it shaped the Pokémon world and everything in it with its 1000 arms. Before everything we know today, before McDonalds, rhinoceroses, Justin Bieber or the Amazon Echo, there was only Arceus. Arceus is the one and only, and I’m not talking about the super cheesy Chesney Hawkes song. According to the Pokédex, Arceus is said to have hatched from an egg, into a place where there was… nothing at all. The logistics of this are impossible to comprehend, but one thing’s for sure: Arceus created all Poké-people, and it could easily take that decision back whenever it wanted.