4 Married Couples Explain Keys to Lasting Love Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again. × Search search POPULAR SEARCHES SUGGESTED LINKS Join AARP for just $9 per year when you sign up for a 5-year term. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. Leaving AARP.org Website You are now leaving AARP.org and going to a website that is not operated by AARP. A different privacy policy and terms of service will apply.
Discover the Secrets to Long-Lasting Love
Couples reveal the big things and small gestures that have kept them bonded
Top left: Boyzell & Andrida Hosey, Bonnie Meyer & Katharine Halpin; Bottom left: Liz & Mike Drayer and Jill & Layne Stangeland. Courtesy Martha Asencio-Rhine / Courtesy Mara Blom Schantz / Courtesy Jacqueline Drayer / Courtesy Jill Stangeland What’s the secret to long-lasting love?
If you’re Frank Sinatra (referring to his fourth and longest marriage), it’s separate sleeping quarters, each with its own bathroom. For country singer Martina McBride, who shared her secret with People, it’s about finding someone you like, not just love. And Henry “the Fonz” Winkler once shared this advice with Parade magazine about his four-decade marriage: "Listening is the beginning and the end." Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. We found four couples who have their own ideas about why they’ve stayed together for decades. In honor of , here’s what they had to say about why their partnerships have lasted so long. Boyzell & Andrida Hosey
Courtesy Martha Asencio-Rhine Boyzell, 57, is a deputy editor of photography for the Tampa Bay Times and cofounder of the Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival. Andrida, 64, is a middle school drama teacher. The couple, who live in St. Petersburg, Florida, have been together for 34 years , married for 29 , and have a daughter and a son. In late 2020, when the Hoseys lost three relatives in two weeks to , the strength of their relationship helped them cope. Andrida: I love the wonderful you make for me in the morning. Those great omelets — the way you slow-cook them, putting little veggies and seasonings and spices in them. And I appreciate the texts with little hearts. Boyzell: And you text me back little kisses. On an intimate level in general, you give me fantastic head rubs. When I’m on edge, you put me at ease with your touches. Andrida: I knew we were going to be together forever the day we got baptized together. It was something about being in the Lord’s house, being reborn again together in the water. And also getting married on the same day as my grandparents did, and they were together 65 years. Boyzell: I’d never really thought about it that way. When we first met, there was . And I knew things were going to get a lot more serious when we went on that riverboat ride. We were on a double date with other people, but we ended up leaving together. Andrida: And we left our dates on the boat! Boyzell: You were boisterous and loud and didn’t really know a stranger. I was much more conservative. Entertainment $3 off popcorn and soft drink combos See more Entertainment offers > Andrida: Time is truly precious, and I’m so glad that you document everything. You’ve given us golden nuggets over the years to treasure that allow us to stand on the shoulders of our ancestors. Those nuggets give us the strength to go forward into the future. Boyzell: We have a tremendous amount of resolve. Having you around minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day has reaffirmed that there’s nobody else I’d rather spend my life with. Bonnie Meyer & Katharine Halpin
Left Bonnie Meyer and right Katharine Halpin Courtesy Mara Blom Schantz Katharine, 63, owns a boutique consulting firm. Bonnie, 82, is a former nun, educator and staff director. In March the couple from Phoenix, Arizona — who married on Oct . 17, 2014, the day Arizona’s same-sex marriage ban was struck down — will have been together 40 years. Katharine: You’re always reminding me we should have a hug. You give me hugs half a dozen times a day. Bonnie: I go to you because I like to see you. I go to you when I need something and don’t have it. And I go to you when I can’t think of what I should be doing but know I should be doing it. Katharine: Even though you don’t talk much, you’re still crackerjack about helping me process things. I can describe a situation to you and you’ll give me really good advice or ask me really good questions. That makes me feel well supported. Bonnie: Yes, I don’t talk very much. You do all the talking. It takes awhile for me to get settled before I can start a long discussion. I just don’t understand some things at all , and I have to wait until you explain them to me — and sometimes that takes awhile. But if it’s something important, I want to know what it is. Katharine: You do have a childlike wonder, and as you’ve aged , you’ve been freer to express it. That’s why I love taking you into nature or to the zoo. It’s always fun to watch you in those settings. You’re so much in awe. Bonnie: Well, you’re always making sure that I’m going to be happy. That makes me feel good and important. AARP NEWSLETTERS %{ newsLetterPromoText }% %{ description }% Subscribe More on home-family AARP NEWSLETTERS %{ newsLetterPromoText }% %{ description }% Subscribe AARP VALUE & MEMBER BENEFITS See more Health & Wellness offers > See more Flights & Vacation Packages offers > See more Finances offers > See more Health & Wellness offers > SAVE MONEY WITH THESE LIMITED-TIME OFFERS