10 Ways to Discuss the COVID-19 Vaccine Without a Fight Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again. × Search search POPULAR SEARCHES SUGGESTED LINKS Join AARP for just $9 per year when you sign up for a 5-year term. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. Leaving AARP.org Website You are now leaving AARP.org and going to a website that is not operated by AARP. A different privacy policy and terms of service will apply.

10 Ways to Discuss the COVID-19 Vaccine Without a Fight

Avoid conflict with friends and family by using these expert approaches

Getty Images The is the hottest conversation topic of the year — sometimes too hot to handle. "It's so emotionally charged,” says Anne Fishel, who has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is director of the family and couples therapy program at Massachusetts General Hospital. “It's about how we're going to go forward as a couple or a family, how we're going to take care of ourselves and others. It's about life and death.” Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. A by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 47 percent of Americans would take the vaccine as soon as possible, up from 34 percent in December. But about 30 percent say they will , and another 20 percent say they will get it only if required or not at all. Cheryl Umbles sees the reluctance firsthand. An interior designer in Newark, Delaware, she is on a mission to convince family, friends and even clients to get a COVID-19 vaccine. It's not always an easy sell. But she soldiers on, based on her conversations with the medical community and her own background in pharmaceutical marketing. "I'm not giving up,” says Umbles, 61. “But a lot of people I've spoken to have been skeptical about the vaccine. I think it comes from a lack of knowing and understanding." COVID-19 vaccine conversations are often frustrating or, at the worst, hurtful. But Fishel and other communication experts say it is possible to discuss the topic without things devolving into an unproductive standoff or a shouting match. If you're trying to talk to someone about the vaccine, here's a 10-point plan based on what experts recommend.

1 Get prepared

Consider why you want to have this conversation, says Michele Gravelle, one of the principals at Triad Consulting Group in Somerville, Massachusetts, which teaches communication and negotiation skills. The company was founded by the authors of Difficult Conversations, a 2010 book that grew out of the Harvard Negotiation Project. Gravelle warns that trying to change people's behavior may only put them on the defensive, so be clear on your goals for the discussion. And make sure the conversation isn't about being the one who's “right.” Ask yourself: “What is it that I want to have happen? What is it that I hope to achieve by having this conversation? Is it to put [someone] in her place, to correct her, make her wrong, prove how right I am?” Instead of trying to be the victor in an argument, make understanding your goal, Gravelle and others say. Entertainment $3 off popcorn and soft drink combos See more Entertainment offers >

3 Talk less listen more

“In debate, you have to listen because that's the only way you can respond and have a solid argument moving forward,” says Shunta Jordan, head debate coach at the University of Georgia. “Debate teaches you that listening is way more important than your ability to speak.” When it is your turn to talk, ask to share your point of view, says Fishel, rather than just charging ahead or interrupting.

4 Listen with compassionate curiosity

That's Fishel's term for really listening. She suggests asking people and the worries they have? She suggests other questions, too: “What have you heard? Have had any experiences with vaccines or medicine that might contribute to the way you're feeling about it?”

5 Pick your time wisely

It might seem strange to make an appointment to talk to someone you know well, but that's better than stumbling into an important conversation inadvertently. “It typically tends to happen in the worst possible time when someone's had a couple of drinks or someone's already had a bad day,” Scott says. If that happens, it's OK to shut the conversation down or postpone it to another time.

6 Show gratitude

Acknowledge how the other person feels and thank him for his concern if, for example, he and could harm you, Gravelle says. AARP NEWSLETTERS %{ newsLetterPromoText }% %{ description }% Subscribe More on home-family AARP NEWSLETTERS %{ newsLetterPromoText }% %{ description }% Subscribe AARP VALUE & MEMBER BENEFITS See more Health & Wellness offers > See more Flights & Vacation Packages offers > See more Finances offers > See more Health & Wellness offers > SAVE MONEY WITH THESE LIMITED-TIME OFFERS