Jason Rosenthal on Being His Late Wife Amy's Caregiver Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again. × Search search POPULAR SEARCHES SUGGESTED LINKS Join AARP for just $9 per year when you sign up for a 5-year term. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. Leaving AARP.org Website You are now leaving AARP.org and going to a website that is not operated by AARP. A different privacy policy and terms of service will apply.

How to Keep Going When Your Beloved Is Gone

The man whose wife wrote You May Want to Marry My Husband says to talk about your wishes

Amy and Jason Rosenthal Courtesy Jason Rosenthal In 2017, Amy Krouse Rosenthal wrote a heart-wrenching essay for the New York Times' Modern Love section called “” In it, Amy, 51, a prolific children's-book author and filmmaker who was in the final stage of ovarian cancer, explained, personal-ad style, why her dedicated spouse of 26 years, Jason Rosenthal, would make someone a wonderful husband. ("Wait. Did I mention that he is incredibly handsome?” she queried.) Her mission: To give Jason very public permission to find happiness — and love — after she died. The poignant piece went viral and was read by millions worldwide. Sadly, Amy passed away 10 days later. Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. In the aftermath of the New York Times article and Amy's passing, Jason and Amy's love story garnered much attention. He received thousands of letters from readers — some expressing their condolences; others, their personal interest in him. A lawyer by trade, he found his experience catapulted him on a different journey, in which he gave a deeply personal and wrote and spoke about grief and living through loss. In his memoir, My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me, Jason, 55, speaks to his role as Amy's caregiver and his new life as a widower and single father of three. One of the reasons you wanted to write this book was to help people through “their own personal darkness.” Has talking about Amy, her illness and her passing helped with your grief? Jason Rosenthal: I am asked this often, even from my own family. It took me a while, but I have gotten to a place where I just deeply appreciate what I had with Amy and the amazing life we had together, full of love and joy, whimsy and family. And so, I don't mind returning to talking about Amy, even as I move forward in my life, because she really is someone who should be spoken about. Not just her death but her life. She lived such a beautiful, beautiful life. How did you handle becoming your wife's caregiver? JR: I don't feel like there is any type of guidebook, so I just plunged right into it. I had such a deep love for Amy that I wanted her end of life to be as comfortable and beautiful as it possibly could be. Flowers & Gifts 25% off sitewide and 30% off select items See more Flowers & Gifts offers > In the book, you highlight the unique ways friends reached out during Amy's illness. JR: A buddy of mine, he may not be the most expressive guy, but he sent me some of his favorite song lyrics periodically, and they were beautiful, talking about love and friendship. Another really good friend of ours, without expecting anything in return, dropped off at our house every Saturday, while Amy was in hospice, three random yellow items — everything from a package of mustard to a rubber ducky to a yellow baseball [a yellow umbrella is Amy's legacy symbol]. As a couple, you talked openly about end-of-life wishes. Most people are afraid to discuss that. JR: Oh my God, are they ever! I encourage people throughout my public speaking life to have these discussions younger, when you're healthy and when you have your memory and your health. We did have time — so many people don't have that time. We talked about what kind of service Amy wanted. Did she want music to be played? If so, should I just pick songs? Did she want certain people to speak? Things like that. It was very important to me. After Amy died, you started having panic attacks. What do you tell people about the grieving process?
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