How to Communicate With an Estranged Child
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Don't allow silence to take over. Don't plead your case. While the survey found that a sizable majority of adult kids don't expect reconciliation, some parents see glimmers of hope and believe that, with the right approach, they can find a way back into the relationship. But there are right ways and wrong ways to handle a possible reconciliation. . It now attracts 60,000 to 70,000 visitors per month, spiking at the holidays, she says. When McGregor observed how many parents were struggling with estrangement, she opened a moderated peer-support forum, which currently boasts more than 8,100 members. There are as many reasons as there are stories for these breakups. The website lists a few common ones: conflict with the child's partner, resentment over parents’ divorce, an adult child's difficulties with , longtime parental lack of nurturing, or boundary-breaking behavior. Sometimes there's been an episode that causes a break; other times, and more likely, long-simmering issues are triggered by a smaller concern. Entertainment $3 off popcorn and soft drink combos See more Entertainment offers >
How to Reconcile With Your Estranged Adult Child
Try these steps to repair a broken relationship
Prostock-Studio / Getty Images Your daughter, now in her 30s, stopped talking to you after you and she had words over finances, a good 10 years ago. You've reached out to her several times since the dispute, eager to mend fences and get your relationship back on track. But your voice mails have not been returned. You feel heartbroken, angry and helpless. Sheri McGregor can relate to the feeling of sadness and desperation. "I never imagined that my own child could reject me,” says the author of . “Yet, one of my five children cut ties with me and his entire family. It's emotionally devastating and something no loving parent expects or is prepared for." Get instant access to members-only products and hundreds of discounts, a free second membership, and a subscription to AARP the Magazine. Experts agree that there seems to be an increase in separations between adult children and one or both of their parents. One survey of more than 800 British adults who self-identify as partly or fully estranged from one or both parents found that it's more often . The study reported that more daughters than sons initiate breakups. Further, more mothers than fathers are estranged from their adult kids. Estrangement from fathers, however, lasts longer: an average of 7.9 years, compared with 5.5 years from mothers.8 Dos and Don ts of Reconciliation
Do handwrite a note or leave a brief voice mail. Do approach the situation lightly. Do reach out infrequently but authentically. Do apologize. Don't text or email. Don't get into a big explanation.Don't allow silence to take over. Don't plead your case. While the survey found that a sizable majority of adult kids don't expect reconciliation, some parents see glimmers of hope and believe that, with the right approach, they can find a way back into the relationship. But there are right ways and wrong ways to handle a possible reconciliation. . It now attracts 60,000 to 70,000 visitors per month, spiking at the holidays, she says. When McGregor observed how many parents were struggling with estrangement, she opened a moderated peer-support forum, which currently boasts more than 8,100 members. There are as many reasons as there are stories for these breakups. The website lists a few common ones: conflict with the child's partner, resentment over parents’ divorce, an adult child's difficulties with , longtime parental lack of nurturing, or boundary-breaking behavior. Sometimes there's been an episode that causes a break; other times, and more likely, long-simmering issues are triggered by a smaller concern. Entertainment $3 off popcorn and soft drink combos See more Entertainment offers >