What I Really Know About Freedom A Second Wind - AARP Bulletin

What I Really Know About Freedom A Second Wind

Freedom doesn' t come cheap but it' s a terrific cost

In November 2001, my husband of 27 years had a brain aneurysm. After his brain surgery and an agonizing six weeks, I was a widow. I was devastated and so alone. The future loomed before me like a giant dark cloud. Over the next couple of years, I had the freedom to grieve. During that time, I met four others widows. Every Tuesday night we dined together on a meal salted by our tears. We moved through a deep depression, to laughing about our flawed marriages, to learning about Match.com and, eventually, launching our oldest member into a new marriage. Freedom transformed me, moving me to become healthier, reach out to new friends and renew my interest in all types of live music. I could be me, new and old, all rolled in one. I bought a smaller car that fit my 5-foot-2-inch frame. I moved from the Victorian house desperately needing work to a new condo downtown. I blast the stereo, never watch sports and eat a pound of asparagus for dinner (followed by a pint of ice cream) if I feel like it. Freedom allowed me to forge a new bond with my son, which has evolved from shared pain to the joy of each other’s company. I see in my son’s eyes the gentle soul of his dad and hear in his voice the twisted wit of his father. Freedom has also brought me a new love—and his 13-year-old daughter. Both have opened my heart and mind in ways I could not imagine. Freedom for me is the newfound knowledge that I can live alone and thrive. I am happy with the silence, the mortgage in my name and the reduced requirement to compromise. I am free to talk to myself and leave my clothes strewn about the floor. What I really know about freedom came at a terrific cost. But that’s the nature of this gift. It doesn’t come cheap. The AARP Bulletin’s What I Really Know column comes from our readers. Each month we solicit personal essays on a selected topic and post some of our favorites in print and online. Ami E. Rodland is a reader from Madison, Wis. Cancel You are leaving AARP.org and going to the website of our trusted provider. The provider’s terms, conditions and policies apply. Please return to AARP.org to learn more about other benefits. Your email address is now confirmed. You'll start receiving the latest news, benefits, events, and programs related to AARP's mission to empower people to choose how they live as they age. You can also by updating your account at anytime. You will be asked to register or log in. Cancel Offer Details Disclosures

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