Dying Regrets, Wise Advice and Life Lessons Grief & Loss

5 Top Regrets of the Dying

Don t wait until your health fails before living the life you want to live

For many years I worked in . My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to 12 weeks of their lives. Ross M. Horowitz /Getty Images Words of wisdom on life from critically ill people realizing their time on earth is running out. People grow a lot when they are . I learned never to underestimate someone's . Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected: denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Yet every single patient found peace before departing. Every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced. Here are the most common five:

Death and Dying

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1 I wish I d had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many . Most people have not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they’d made, or not made. It’s important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. It’s too late once you lose your health. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2 I wish I didn t work so hard br

This came from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives . By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

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3 I wish I d had the courage to express my feelings

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by . Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4 I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

Often they would not truly realize the until their dying weeks, and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.

5 I wish that I had let myself be happier

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that . They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely and choose honestly. Choose happiness.

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