Funnyman Billy Crystal s Last Laugh

Funnyman Billy Crystal s Last Laugh

Funnyman Billy Crystal's Last Laugh Beauty & Style

Billy Crystal A Funny Thing Happened

Nearly blinding Walter Cronkite did not make the famous newscaster a fan

Mike McGregor/Getty Images "Believe me, happiness is not ticking off Walter Cronkite," says comedian Billy Crystal. Doing my Broadway show reminded me how much I love working in front of an audience. But I've had more than a few awkward moments involving audience members. In the late 1960s I was working as an usher for the stage production of . One night I spotted and his wife sitting in the front row. Walter Cronkite!

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I was so excited I rushed up to his seat, pointed my flashlight toward his face and said, "Mr. Cronkite, if there's anything I can do for you — anything at all — please, please don't hesitate to let me know and I'll personally take care of it for you." He glared at me for a moment, then deadpanned, "Well, you could start by taking that f---ing flashlight out of my face." I was devastated — this was America's Uncle Walter! I slunk to the back of the theater and hid there for the rest of Charlie Brown. Believe me, happiness is not ticking off Walter Cronkite.

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Smashing Crystal

William Edward Crystal Age: 67 on March 14, 2015 Signature line: "You look mah-velous!" Best leading lady: Meg Ryan Fanatic about: Baseball We miss him as: Oscar host Grandchildren: 4 Twitter followers: 533K Next up: The Comedians (TV series), Which Witch? (film) Twenty years later I was at some event, and there he was! My mind started racing: Should I say something? Would I look like an idiot? Was he still mad at me? Finally I summoned the courage to walk up to him and say, "You probably don't remember this, but … Charlie Brown … the usher with the flashlight. …" Cronkite goes, "That was you? I've felt bad about that for years!" Not as bad as I had felt, but suddenly, after all that time, it was all better. That wasn't nearly as embarrassing as a misunderstanding that flustered me in the middle of a performance of 700 Sundays. I was up there on stage doing my thing when I saw this blinking red light, like a video recorder, flashing away at the back of the theater. So during intermission I got hold of the theater staff and told them, "Get out there and stop that pirate!" They came back a few minutes later and said, "Umm, that flashing red light is on a guy's electric wheelchair." Being the humanitarian I am, I said, "Can you at least put some tape over it? That blinking light is distracting me!" A little later they came back and said, "We can't do that either; the red light is linked to his vital signs, and it blinks to let his nurse know his heart is still beating." So I decided to let it go. I'm expecting my any day now. Billy Crystal returns to television in a new FX series, The Comedians, at 10 p.m. on Thursday, April 9. Featured AARP Member Benefits See more Entertainment offers > See more Entertainment offers > See more Entertainment offers > See more Entertainment offers > Cancel You are leaving AARP.org and going to the website of our trusted provider. The provider’s terms, conditions and policies apply. Please return to AARP.org to learn more about other benefits. Your email address is now confirmed. You'll start receiving the latest news, benefits, events, and programs related to AARP's mission to empower people to choose how they live as they age. You can also by updating your account at anytime. You will be asked to register or log in. Cancel Offer Details Disclosures

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