How Becoming a Grandmother Changes Life
Lesley Stahl On Becoming a Grandmother
Sure I' m a tough journalist But when my first grandchild came along I nearly swooned
Dave Lauridsen Stahl with her grandaughters, Jordan, left, and Chloe Throughout my , I had worked at suppressing both my opinions and my emotions. I was out on the streets of New York on 9/11 and held myself together. I walked the alleys of Sadr City, Iraq, and once raced to a cafe in Tel Aviv minutes after it was leveled by a suicide bomber, without allowing my fears to surface. I thought I had become the epitome of self-control. Then, wham! My first grandchild, Jordan, was born January 30, 2011. I was jolted, blindsided by a wallop of loving more intense than anything I could remember or had ever imagined. When I saw Jordan for the first time, swaddled in my daughter Taylor's arms, she was a little bundle weighing 6 pounds, 14 ounces. I thought: A whole new person, and she's mine. I was so pumped, my heart was on a trampoline. And there was my daughter, soft in a way I'd never seen. Was this my tomboy who wouldn't wear dresses? She was now a Giotto Madonna. Photograph courtesy of Lesley Stahl Lesley meeting baby Jordan for the first time Baby Talk
Lesley Stahl on grandparenting How are today's grandmothers redefining the role? Stahl: We are often more involved with our grandchildren, spending more time with them, buying them things. A lot of us were working all the time when our kids were young. This is a second chance. Many grandmothers are happily taking "granny nanny" duty and loving it! How do grandmothers and grandfathers differ? Stahl: When I first held my grandchild, I felt a titanic jolt of emotion. Most of the grandmothers I interviewed had the same elated feeling. With grandfathers, not one of them said they had that first initial jolt. The real attachment comes a little later. But their emotions are very deep. What about grandparents with sole custody of their grandkids? Stahl: They're superheroes. Some are doing it gracefully; some do it resentfully, but they are keeping these kids from a horrible fate. Her husband, Andrew, was stretched out on the bed next to her so they could pass the baby back and forth. A pair so suddenly a threesome. Since he and Tay had come to the hospital early, I kept urging them to take a nap. They laughed and teased me — I guess it was pretty obvious that all I wanted was to hold Jordan. Have her to myself. When it was finally my turn, I felt I was growing a whole new chamber in my heart. I nearly swooned, staring at her like a lover. I'd never seen anything so delicate and beautiful, so sweet, every feature perfect. And it's not that I didn't see her three chins. This is what I didn't expect. I was at a time in my life where I'd assumed I had already had my best day, my tallest high. But now I was overwhelmed with euphoria. Why was she hitting with such a force? What explains this joy, this elation that is a new kind of love? But there was something more at work here, something mysterious welling up inside me. It wasn't that I hadn't been told that becoming a grandmother was the best thing that ever happens to a woman. But what I couldn't get over was the physicality of my feelings. When I got into bed at night, I would pretend I was holding Jordan in my arms. I was infatuated. Dare I say it? It felt like … ardor. Aha! There it was. We grandmas literally, actually, fall in love. Being a grandmother became my new identity. And I fast became a stereotype. Whenever I passed a store that sold anything for babies, man, was I sucked in. Dresses, little shoes, toys, books. If you came to our apartment in New York right now, you'd see a dollhouse in the hallway, a little stove by the kitchen, a miniature baby grand piano in the living room, a huge stuffed dog, a baby rocking chair. You can walk into any room and know we're . Grandmothers Galore
on flowers, gifts and more as an AARP member. I am so not alone. Grandparent spending on child-specific items has increased sevenfold in the past 10 years. We're out there buying baby food, equipment, clothing, tricycles and toys. Our grandchildren melt our wallets! Many grandparents happily end up trying to support their grandchildren, and others do it grudgingly, feeling their kids are taking advantage of them or shirking their responsibilities. But whether happily or reluctantly, grandparents are contributing. , says there are three stages of life. In the first stage, you believe in Santa Claus; in the second, you don't believe in Santa; and in the third, you are Santa Claus. Which reminds me of something my friend once said: "For parents, bribery is a white-collar crime; for grandparents, it's a business plan!" 60 Minutes correspondent and longtime journalist , 74, will publish Becoming Grandma, from which this is adapted, April 5. Cancel You are leaving AARP.org and going to the website of our trusted provider. The provider’s terms, conditions and policies apply. Please return to AARP.org to learn more about other benefits. Your email address is now confirmed. You'll start receiving the latest news, benefits, events, and programs related to AARP's mission to empower people to choose how they live as they age. You can also by updating your account at anytime. You will be asked to register or log in. Cancel Offer Details Disclosures
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