Half Of Parents Financially Helping Their Adult Children Say It’s Putting Retirement Savings At Risk Bankrate.com Caret RightMain Menu Mortgage Mortgages Financing a home purchase Refinancing your existing loan Finding the right lender Additional Resources Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Bank Banking Compare Accounts Use calculators Get advice Bank reviews Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Credit Card Credit cards Compare by category Compare by credit needed Compare by issuer Get advice Looking for the perfect credit card? Narrow your search with CardMatch Caret RightMain Menu Loan Loans Personal Loans Student Loans Auto Loans Loan calculators Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Invest Investing Best of Brokerages and robo-advisors Learn the basics Additional resources Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Home Equity Home equity Get the best rates Lender reviews Use calculators Knowledge base Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Loan Home Improvement Real estate Selling a home Buying a home Finding the right agent Additional resources Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Insurance Insurance Car insurance Homeowners insurance Other insurance Company reviews Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Caret RightMain Menu Retirement Retirement Retirement plans & accounts Learn the basics Retirement calculators Additional resources Elevate your Bankrate experience Get insider access to our best financial tools and content Advertiser Disclosure

Advertiser Disclosure

We are an independent, advertising-supported comparison service. Our goal is to help you make smarter financial decisions by providing you with interactive tools and financial calculators, publishing original and objective content, by enabling you to conduct research and compare information for free - so that you can make financial decisions with confidence.
Bankrate has partnerships with issuers including, but not limited to, American Express, Bank of America, Capital One, Chase, Citi and Discover.

How We Make Money

The offers that appear on this site are from companies that compensate us. This compensation may impact how and where products appear on this site, including, for example, the order in which they may appear within the listing categories. But this compensation does not influence the information we publish, or the reviews that you see on this site. We do not include the universe of companies or financial offers that may be available to you. SHARE: 10'000 Hours/Getty Images April 24, 2019 Kelly Anne Smith Brian Beers is the managing editor for the Wealth team at Bankrate. He oversees editorial coverage of banking, investing, the economy and all things money. Bankrate logo

The Bankrate promise

At Bankrate we strive to help you make smarter financial decisions. While we adhere to strict editorial integrity, this post may contain references to products from our partners. Here's an explanation for how we make money. Bankrate logo

The Bankrate promise

Founded in 1976, Bankrate has a long track record of helping people make smart financial choices. We’ve maintained this reputation for over four decades by demystifying the financial decision-making process and giving people confidence in which actions to take next. Bankrate follows a strict , so you can trust that we’re putting your interests first. All of our content is authored by and edited by , who ensure everything we publish is objective, accurate and trustworthy. Our banking reporters and editors focus on the points consumers care about most — the best banks, latest rates, different types of accounts, money-saving tips and more — so you can feel confident as you’re managing your money. Bankrate logo

Editorial integrity

Bankrate follows a strict , so you can trust that we’re putting your interests first. Our award-winning editors and reporters create honest and accurate content to help you make the right financial decisions.

Key Principles

We value your trust. Our mission is to provide readers with accurate and unbiased information, and we have editorial standards in place to ensure that happens. Our editors and reporters thoroughly fact-check editorial content to ensure the information you’re reading is accurate. We maintain a firewall between our advertisers and our editorial team. Our editorial team does not receive direct compensation from our advertisers.

Editorial Independence

Bankrate’s editorial team writes on behalf of YOU – the reader. Our goal is to give you the best advice to help you make smart personal finance decisions. We follow strict guidelines to ensure that our editorial content is not influenced by advertisers. Our editorial team receives no direct compensation from advertisers, and our content is thoroughly fact-checked to ensure accuracy. So, whether you’re reading an article or a review, you can trust that you’re getting credible and dependable information. Bankrate logo

How we make money

You have money questions. Bankrate has answers. Our experts have been helping you master your money for over four decades. We continually strive to provide consumers with the expert advice and tools needed to succeed throughout life’s financial journey. Bankrate follows a strict , so you can trust that our content is honest and accurate. Our award-winning editors and reporters create honest and accurate content to help you make the right financial decisions. The content created by our editorial staff is objective, factual, and not influenced by our advertisers. We’re transparent about how we are able to bring quality content, competitive rates, and useful tools to you by explaining how we make money. Bankrate.com is an independent, advertising-supported publisher and comparison service. We are compensated in exchange for placement of sponsored products and, services, or by you clicking on certain links posted on our site. Therefore, this compensation may impact how, where and in what order products appear within listing categories. Other factors, such as our own proprietary website rules and whether a product is offered in your area or at your self-selected credit score range can also impact how and where products appear on this site. While we strive to provide a wide range offers, Bankrate does not include information about every financial or credit product or service. Parents are responsible for taking care of their children, and that means emotionally, physically — and financially. But how old is too old to be receiving money from mom and dad? A new Bankrate survey on financial independence looked into the average age Americans think individuals should start paying for their own bills, including car payments, cell phone bills and student loans. The journey to independence has changed in recent years as “” and prolonged education continue to create more co-dependent financial relationships between parents and children. But the data from this new survey reveals an alarming trend: 50 percent of Americans say they have sacrificed or are sacrificing their own retirement savings in order to help their adult children financially.

The higher the bill the longer parents are willing to foot it

Bankrate asked Americans at what age they thought a person should start paying for their bills. Most of the results dovetailed the traditional mindset that 18 is the golden age of adulthood — except when it came to big-ticket items. Car payments and insurance, cell phone bills, subscription services, travel costs and all had the majority of total respondents saying that individuals between 18 to 19 years old should be paying for these bills themselves. For example, the average age respondents expect individuals to start paying for their cell phone bill was 19 years old. Younger generations, or Gen Z and millennials, both said that age should be 20; Gen X and the silent generation said 19, while Boomers said 18. [READ: ] All generations agreed the average age someone should start paying for their subscription services is 20 years old. As the bill gets more expensive, however, the average age expectation starts to increase and vary by generation. Millennials, Gen X and the silent generation agreed that car payments should be paid at an average age of 20, whereas Gen Z said 21 and Boomers said 19. Overall, respondents said individuals aged 23 should begin . One might assume wealthier households are more willing to help pay off massive student loan debt, but that wasn’t the case. Respondents with household incomes under $30,000 said the average age for individuals to start paying their own student loans was 24; households with incomes from $50,000 to over $80,000 said that age should be around 23. Housing costs also had a higher average age overall, at 21 years old. Gen Z and millennials agreed the average age to start paying rent or a mortgage was 22, whereas Boomers, Gen X and the Silent Generation all said 21. The highest age of them all? It’s for . Overall, respondents reported 23 as the average age individuals should start paying for their own premiums. Millennials, Gen X and Boomers all said that number should be 23; Gen Z pushed to 24. The Silent Generation said 22. We asked: At what age do you think a person should start paying for bills on their own? Gen Z
(18-22) Millennials
(23-38) Gen X
(39-54) Baby boomers
(55-73) Silent Generation
(74+) Source: Bankrate’s April financial security survey, April 3–5, 2019 Car payment 21 20 20 19 20 Car insurance 21 20 20 19 19 Cell phone bill 20 20 19 18 19 Housing costs 22 22 21 21 21 Student loans 23 23 23 22 23 Subscription services 20 20 20 20 20 Travel costs 21 21 20 20 20 Health insurance 24 23 23 23 22 Credit card bill 21 20 20 19 19

Putting retirement at risk to help their kids

The most alarming finding of the survey isn’t that parents are helping their adult children — it’s that the majority of them say that helping is hurting their financial futures. In total, 50 percent of respondents say they have sacrificed or are sacrificing their own retirement savings in order to help their adult children financially. Half of Gen X and Boomer respondents said the same. is an ongoing worry for Americans. As companies have shifted away from offering traditional pension plans to employees, much of the responsibility in planning for financial life after work now relies heavily on individuals. Unfortunately, some are struggling to keep up. survey found that more than 1 in 5 working Americans aren’t saving any money for retirement, emergencies or other financial goals. Major barriers as to why respondents said they weren’t saving included not making enough money and large debt payments. As some Americans reach retirement age and realize they may not have saved enough, they find themselves being forced to work longer than planned. In 2017, the labor force of Americans ages 55 and up accounted for about 23 percent of the average annual labor force. that by 2024, that figure will increase to almost 25 percent. For a country where many people are already struggling to navigate their financial futures, the data isn’t encouraging.

Why is this happening

Some may argue that financially helping adult children may be turning them “soft.” So why are people doing it? Mark Hamrick, Bankrate’s senior economic analyst, says there are a variety of reasons parents might feel compelled to help their adult children financially — and they don’t all have to do with spoiling or enabling them. “This is, for better and worse, the new normal because of the evolving approaches parents have taken to raising their children,” Hamrick says. “And it’s a result of some of the ongoing financial challenges that many families face, some of which were caused by the financial crisis and the Great Recession.” Some of those challenges include a lack of substantial wage growth, according to Hamrick. Although recent employment reports show gains, he describes that as a “relatively modern phenomenon.” “It’s doing very little to recapture the lost gains in the earlier economic expansion that’s approaching the 10 year anniversary,” Hamrick says. Other culprits include the rising cost of education and the rising popularity of higher degrees. “This is the ironic, unintended expense of people staying in school longer,” Hamrick says. “The way young people come of age has changed somewhat over the past 50 years or even longer — there’s no longer a sense of immediate need for young people to enter the workforce, even on a part-time basis.” And when you’re not working, you can’t pay the bills — that’s where Mom and Dad come in.

How parents can set healthy financial boundaries with their children

Although parents might want to help their adult children out by footing their bills, some experts say it might do more harm than good. Dr. Laura Dabney, a psychiatrist specializing in interpersonal relationships, says parents who are sacrificing their financial futures for their adult children should reevaluate their assistance. The conversation about cutting off financial assistance to children, Dabney admits, can be intimidating. Parents who have been providing financial safety nets for their child might worry about how discontinuing the aid might be received. Adult children who have been dependent upon the money might feel as though they are being treated unfairly. But the longer the conversation is delayed, Dabney says, the more likely it becomes for resentment to start building from both parties, especially from the parents if the financial assistance is jeopardizing their retirement plans. “You have to decide what works best for you and then present that,” Dabney says. “Start with being honest about that. And then, listen to the child — and maybe come up with a compromise. Take the two wants and needs from both sides and come up with a plan that works for everybody so there’s no resentment that eventually gets in the way.” Dabney adds that overall, prolonging financial support for adult children isn’t helpful — no matter how much a parent might think it is. “That thrill you get of stepping into adulthood — whenever you do that for your child, you’re robbing them of that great joy of figuring out and doing something on their own,” Dabney says. “It can be hurtful for those children for you to be ‘helping’ that much.”

Methodology

Bankrate commissioned YouGov Plc to conduct the survey. All figures, unless otherwise stated, are from YouGov Plc. Total sample size was 2,553 adults, including 890 adults with at least one child 18 or older. Fieldwork was undertaken on April 3 – 5, 2019. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all U.S. adults (aged 18+).

Learn more

SHARE: Kelly Anne Smith Brian Beers is the managing editor for the Wealth team at Bankrate. He oversees editorial coverage of banking, investing, the economy and all things money.

Related Articles